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Katlyn Orthman Jun 2020
I learned to adore you
In all the best ways
The way the sunset in your eyes
Nights spent cherishing your body
Turns into day

Your soul was damaged just like mine
Full of bruises black and blue
Scratched all on the surface
Like a record that sings the blues

I always claimed to be so alone
Eyes made of thunder clouds
But In your presence I was home

Hands pressed against the stained glass
It’s hard to see your face
and I miss that place

Now the streets feel lonely
And rainstorms make me cry
And I don’t see sunsets in the dusk sky
And I hate
When
You cry
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Grassy fields
A scarecrow
In the middle
A silent scream
From sewn lips
Frozen terror
In frozen blood
A dark sky
Thin clouds
A cold breeze
On my shoulders
Blood tears
A soul unleashed
The devils soul
So dark
So sad
So hateful
Finger tips can brush his pain away
Dark wings
Black feathers
Wishes he could be different
Wishes he could feel
Wishes he was real
Wants to have dreams
He's not always what he seems
He wants to feel love
But his blood , a tainted dove
Pulls him back to his jail
Sink their claws in his skin
Pulls him back to his sin
Sweet october
Release the monsters
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Softly my heartbeat
Each beat a note to my symphony
Of love for you
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Haunted by the ghost of what you used to be
Tainted by the love we used to share
Scared to be anyone else
Hurt by experience
Afraid to take a chance
I stay to myself where i know I'm scared
Wont open my mouth and sing the words
Ones I'm dying to sing
I am terrified to look in the mirror
Rather stay in this state of mind
Where the past doesnt exist
That I am okay
That I dont scream to the heavens
That I dont feel alone
It's make beleive but It's safe
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
There's a line dividing  you and me
It felt like an impossibility
That something could break me so easily
To leave my bones sore and my eyes leaking

Small, I feel small in a room with you
Insignificant, alone, dismounted from anything I was
My chest squeezes with the pressure of tears building
My head swarms with images

Take it all away from me
To take a blade would be so easy
To derail this pain with blood
To unleash this growing flood
It would be so easy
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Amber liquid in a bottle,
Keeps the pain at bay until tomorrow
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Bright stars staring down
Me staring heavily back
Can't help but feel awed
Their beauty so amazing
Tugging me into a spell
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Words bitten off,
Sharp they pierce my skin
Sad my eyes watch the stars
There to hold me
There to watch the sorrow that falls of me
If I had opened up my eyes
Would I've been deceived by these vicious lies?
If I hadn't laid my heart out bare
Knowing I was taking a chance of pain
Would I be standing here
Would I be so angry
So upset
These furious waves sloshing inside my
Ripped up heart
When I'm lost at a crossroads
And I don't know which way to turn
And the tears oh how they burn, my eyes
Why?
Why do I always receive the lies
And the pain and the hurt
A single tear falls from my eye
What would it feel like to die?
What would the peace taste like?
What would the silence sound like?
I thought about cool metal against my skin,
Reopening fading scars...
Breathing quick and holding softly on to the small bear in my arms
I've never been a child,
I have never had a chance
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
In time we all must fall upon the one we call
"the one", a story of love and passion
That always seems to end
A block in the fire lit path
One that stops the world
Your world
Once so perfect now tears you apart
One you never thought would end
But no story goes on forever
Happy endings don't exist
Love in my eyes was beautiful
Now is foolish
Heart scarred and bruised
Took too many blows
Would rather stay put in place
Then skip a beat, that will never be returned
For a temporary "love"
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Steal my breath to breathe as your own, gazing into my eyes, 
I'm vulnerable under your heavy stare, I'm spellbound by the firey lust set firmly into your ridged features, 
I'm tempted to get a taste of what lies underneath that heated gaze. 
Fighting my throbbing body, I smile and dance away
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
This heart left unbeating
Soul slowly depleting
The skies blood red
I feel like I am dead
Just walking among these streets
As every night my tears stain my sheets
This hole in my heart
Strip by strip I fall apart
Alone I was always alone
With my mother is my home
A title makes you nothing to me
Just people living free
Swirling now inside my head
You were better off dead
Atleast then I wouldn't feel so hurt
So hello, now goodbye
There's the door
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2014
Our mother, beautifully hovered in the sky
Glowing as our existence grows in her belly
A swirling mass of life and destruction
Exploding into a massive supernova
and giving birth to life

Star children look up at the skies
Where our step mother lies
Asking it grant our wishes
Feasting our eyes upon the beauty
of our distant family
Bathing beneath the gentle touch
of the Sun's embrace
And we know she will be our end

And in the time that the stars die
Life on Earth will cease
and our world will return to black

Leaving The Age of the Stars
as a small fingerprint in history.
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Hear her wails in the dead of night
they signify someones death tonight.
Foreboding this harbinger of deaths message
does wait at the threshold.

The reaper comes and snags you,
brings you through the shadows pull.
You think of how it came to be
that your life, so wonderful,
has come to an end.
With one Banshee's call.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
I will never tell you how I imagined my suicide in the shower
How I watched myself take the frozen metal rails
And lifted my one shaking leg over the bridge
And stared down at the ice cold, daunting gaze of the great Mississippi
How I closed my eyes and pictures your face
While the cold pierced my skin and my woes pierced my heart
I will never tell you the effort it took to slid my other leg over the railing and step into my coffin
Watching the river crash it's arms against the ice
I will never say how terror gripped my insides knowing that this beast would swallow me whole
Yet knowing I cannot swim gives me comfort
Once I fall the water will push me under, beneath its arms and into it's belly
I will never tell you how time froze as I fell  
My face casted towards the stars
The cold wind holding me suspended in air for a few granted moments as I whisper my goodbyes
Goodbye moon, my lips shake against the syllables
Goodbye love, my eyes damp with defeat
Goodbye fear, my heart thrumming in my chest
Goodb-
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2018
Beginnings and endings
Marked by unique tombstones
Each a fingerprint
Of great creators
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
In the deep of the forest
There lays a cave
No man, no women
Came out of that grave
They say evil lurks
Beyond the drench and the smell
They say that cave
Is the gateway to hell
Cocky adittudes and ignorant smirks
Never lasted long
Every turn every step
Could be the wrong
I stepped foot in that cave
And lost the other
The evil there
Is evils mother
So heed my word
Don't go in on dare
Because you will die
By the hands of evil there
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
Long pale fingers
dance across the old white piano keys
A sorrowful melody sings

The room is lit in candles
like a dream
and the darkness swells with passion
what does this mean?

One step towards you
feels like two steps back
how can I love you
when you can't love me back

The rain outside
covers the pain I hide
as I dance around the room

This mansion built on top of hopeless fears
is empty as I yell for you
no one hears

I just keep dancing
to the song you play
each note remains
in my head

I keep falling for the same thing
over again

You're the one that torments my dreams
and strings my heart along
with the same old
dance
and same old
song

I'm just a lonely spirit
drifting in this memory
of when you were the beast
and I was the beauty
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
My heart is soiled, and filled by ghosts roaming
Traveling the blackened gouged out pathways
A horror t'was to see their mouths foaming
And watch their spectral broken bodies sway

T'was laughable to see me jump in fear
As the moans and groans of tortured souls cried
Their clear eyes become another worlds mirror
And whisper of my regressions I hide

Yet I know I only face my jury
They come hiding behind many dark masks
Locked away in this hell of pure fury
I  close my eyes and take in these cold facts

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Hell hath no fury like a demon torn
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2017
There is a door in my mind
I don’t know who or what is behind
It’s dark and cracked open in spots
And through those holes it bleeds
Just like me
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
All that has spilt
The worlds at a tilt
Breath taking beauty
Eyes summon truly
Take my hand
Ill guide you through this land
Don't fall off the ledge
We live on the edge
Earth shaking memory
Life hurts temporarily
Don't fall for its tricks
The pain won't stick

All bow down! The emperor is here  
All bow down! And silence midnight cheer

Tall and striking power
From atop of thy tower
Lift it before it falls
Lift it before it falls
Shadows left clearly
On the night time walls
My eyes grow dreary
As my chamber softly calls

All bow down! The emperor is here
All bow down! Silence midnight cheer

The wind it slowly whistles, a soft and gentle tune
I know the castle will fall, so very soon
And we all must follow through with the lie
That if our castle falls, we will all die

All bow down! The emperor is here
All bow down! Silence midnight cheer
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Little angle in my arms
Crying tears
Brung up from harm
Soiled by fears
Eyes are wide
Duck beneath the shattering glass
No where to hide
As he massacres the class
God was weeping today
Evil had sprung across his soul
Not long to stay
But it had took its toll
The end is near
I can feel it in the air
It's close enough to hear
I can feel it there
I close my eyes and wait
There's no way out
We cannot escape our fate
I will go out
To the sound of an orchestras roar
Once last silent tear
I will open deaths door
Without fear
I will be reborn again
So long farewell
I'll wait for you there
When we all meet again
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Darkness
Filled by eyes
Watching
Every move
Every step
They hide in the back of my mind
They eat me slowly
Dragging my torture on
So I won't forget they're there
How could I
When they won't leave me alone
I'm prisoned
By their glares
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2020
There is a fear
softly lingering in the dark
waiting patiently
for your acceptance
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2014
The stars sleep
wrapped in their black silky blankets
Unaware of the wishes
made upon them

Tucked in by the sun
and the moonlight their beacon of protection
like the door left cracked open
and the search beneath the bed

They dream unaware
of the horrors happening
just below their delirious forms

Naive stars don't see
the midnight terrors
that happen
beneath their sniffling noses

Protected by their firm imaginations
that everything's alright
Assured that there's nothing to fear
in the night.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Ominous winds dancing on my bare arms
Fencing with anger to calm down my heart
Frozen winds help to blow away the harm
Searching for something that tears me apart
Looking through windows opaque with dark dust
Fighting with the curtains to close the blinds
Locking open doors, there's no one to trust
Secrets behind me I rather not find
Wind getting colder, cold I do not like
Missing the heat that used to warm my bones
Two things so different used to be alike
So separated in far apart homes
The parts that are broken are tossed away
In the dark casted shadow it will lay
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
Your tear drops hit the floor like glass
and everything you loved has passed.
There's a new found ache in your heart,
and it gnaws and claws you apart.
You feel the new year has brought you dead ends,
and you're too tired from last year to pretend.
Fighting for this will they say you own,
but you're standing on the battlefield alone.
This day does not end in laughs and smiles,
no it ends in tests and trials.
Measuring the strength you've been forced to show,
you can't hide it anymore because now they know.
You saw God crying in the face of your enemies,
and that gave you strength to fight endlessly.
Anywhere you would've followed the horizon,
but now you can rest your head,
for now you're done.
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
The night is my mother 
Holds me, calms me 
Listens and doesn't judge 
Knows my secrets 
Doesn't tell 
Whispers sweet advice in my ear 
Brushes aside my hair 
I can hide in the silk folds 
Of the shadows the night brings 
I'm okay in her embrace 
I can wipe my tears knowing 
That she won't mind 
If only my biological mother 
Could see 
That her words sting me 
Put tears in my heart 
Push me farther away from her 
Makes me want to leave 
Permanently 
From this world 
From my life 
But the nights motherly caress
Spares my ebbing life
Wrote this when my mom had made me feel so bad I considered the thought of not living,
I love her but it seems like she doesn't , maybe she does , I don't know. But I thought about sitting beneath the stars alone with no hateful comments
And I realized that was to valuable to lose
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
Will you be the one
To free my heart
Will you be the one
To put together the torn apart
Will you be the one
Who never let's me go

Can you be the one
Who can love when I'm not strong
Can you be the one
To show what's right and wrong
Can you be the one
Who cares when no one else does

I will be the one
Who lookis into your eyes
I will be the one
To give you a heart that never dies
I will be the one
That will give you the hand to help you up
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2014
I stood out among the crowd
all dressed in white and black
most wore skirts, and button up shirts
there hair was tamed each strand tucked away

They all sang lyrics repeated
with no moral to the melody
and looked down their nose
at those sitting in wait of their turn

But I wore ripped jeans
a shirt bright as day
hair in unbound curls
and a smile as I went

I stood in front of the judge
and heard each snicker
and remark that my attire
was not suitable, and for that I would fail

At first it stung a bit
to hear how cruel they could be
but then I remembered
that I was the one standing
up there showing the world
that I am me

And I sang with confidence
that when I sat down
they would remember me

That girl with the crazy friends
and an outfit unlike the rest
but sang with her head held high
and was proud because
she was raw and true
and sang with the song
instead of just going with the motions.
So today I went to a Solo Ensemble Contest, and sang in front of a judge. I didn't dress up in the traditional black and white attire simply because I am not a person of tradition. It was a bit nerve racking to hear so many people comment on the fact that I didn't, but I am over it because I think I did well. I'm proud that I even dedicated my time to this:) It was an amazing experience.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
It started when I took my first step
On the freshly paved path
It started out so smooth
So easy I could glide
Until the sun set
And I met the monsters hiding in the shadows
They broke me
Beat me
Killed me
And I drew a ragged breath
Dragging myself up
I thought maybe I'd been mistaken
But no
This path I've been walking
Is full of cracks and holes
Always tripping me
Always leaving me out of breath
Tricking me to go left
Instead of right
A mirage on the end of the path, and then I realize it never ends...
And that I'll just keep tripping
Today I'm stepping onto untamed grass
And choosing my own way
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
Today I wrote a perfect song
The lyrics just right, not a beat wrong
I sang it until I could sing no more
I sat there starring at the carpeted floor
Thinking how is it possible to feel so right
How is it possible to not have to fight
Just sit here in peace, and sing my song
The one with the lyrics, and no beat wrong
The piano it rang, though the chords are unknown
It's better that way, to me more beauty is shown
That song is so good, I want to sing it to the world
When I sing it, it feels like I'm in space and I'm being hurled
Flying and diving, ducking and spinning
This time, I'm surprised, but truly I am winning
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2020
Hold the camera still
Capture us this way
With smiles in the sunlight
Eternalize this day

Because when the sun begins to set
And the world returns to sleep
Those smiles melt away
And again I start to weep

Weep for the inevitable loss
Because those pictures never last
And I want to feel loved
Like I did once in the past

Perhaps I missed the sign
Perhaps I missed my chance
Just take this horrid picture
Where we're happy at a glance
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2012
Tall and glorious in all her beauty,
She will fall,
She points her blood smathered sword into the midnight air,
The moonlight slipping through her silky hair,
Victory amongst her face,
She will fall,
She turned her horse to face her lover,
But his eyes ounce kind,
Turned vile,
His mouth set with disgust,
He raised his sword and swung it towards her,
She had fell
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
The world is gray
In my eyes
I'm slow moving
I'm sad
I'm tired
I only wish to sleep
I rather not talk
About my feelings
Though my mother tries
I rather just tuck them away
I wonder often if the past
Has soiled me
Made me... Crazy?
I'm question everything I do
Everything I say
I want to cry it all out
But I find my eyes dry
I used to be vibrant
Ready for the challenges
Now I rather not bother
I'm living life by a routine
Nothing interests me anymore
Sometimes I think about dying
I don't know why
It just slips into my mind
And I think how easy it would be
But I won't  
No I love my mom to much
I could never think to hurt her
But it scares me to know
That there in the back of my mind
Is the thought
Just had to put all these thoughts somewhere , not much if a poem though
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Come to me when you are sad
You can yell and scream when you're mad
I'll be that shoulder for you to cry on
I laugh with you and listen when you need someone
Time will pass and heal your wounds
But untill then I'll be that tune
The one you go to when you need to escape
Ill check on you when I see your broken
I'll defend you, you're a golden token
Don't ever let anyone tell you less
Because you my friend are the best
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2014
Lay my body rich with coins
As my dawn turns to dusk I will depart
Bless my soul to be reborn
And pray I keep my heart

Charon waits upon his boat
To carry me to the Otherside
I'll travel The River Styx
And marry time, as I am Waiting's bride

Bearded Ferryman of the dead
Refuse me not as I pay your debt
Tell Hades to lift the gates
For fate and I have met

Guide this monstrous beast
Along the waters spine
As we set off towards Afterlife
Where waits the Underworlds divine
Just a short poem about Charon (Kharon) a ferryman of the underworld in Greek mythology who served under Hades. Greek people would bury their dead with one obol, or coin, so they may pay his fee and be able to cross the river. Without the coin the souls could not pass. Some would make it without the coin and others would not.
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Falling leaves
Dying trees
In a blink of an eye

Cold nights
Frostbite
The monstrous winds not shy

Walk on this empty road
Be alert, I was told
The one who walk with blind eyes
Is lead by his heart

The one who walks
With no direction
And simply wanders
Is not lost, he may stumble upon
The right way

The one who walks on
Another's path
Is lost

October leaves
Cancerous trees
And cold nights
Of frostbite
Kind of confusing I apologize for that
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2014
I have wandered this road of woe
I have rested these old eyes upon the wonders
Watched the evils unfold from the ***** of darkness
And the goodness prevail although it never lasts long

Yet these rusted bones are starved of the warmth
The cold has frozen these joints into place
Left my heart in fragmented splinters that pierce my flesh
And leave my insides bruised and sore

This soul that has seen the lithe clouds of paradise
And felt the stinging wash of Hell's devouring seas of fire
Will wait no more for the fingertips that will rest it's warmth
And bring me back from this state of living dead

Reincarnate the parts of me that have long since found their earthy bed
And wake the memories that have faded from this feeble minded head
Set ablaze the fire that once burned inside my being
And vanquish the icicles that have made a home in my bones

Just love me
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2019
It took me a minute
It took me a minute to open up my mind
My hand was shaking
Trembling as it hovered
Right over that rusted, squeaking handle
When my fingertips brushed the cool metal it was rough and rugged
The doors paint chipping away
What used to be bright cherry oak
Was now crumbling
But I was not deterred
I ****** in a deep breath
Gripped that cool metal tightly and twisted
There was loud screech as the once sedentary **** broke back into action
As I pushed open the door
It was dusty and burned my eyes and filled my lungs with jmpurities
It was troubling to look past the fog it had created
Old debris and dirt particles danced and twirled in the air as it descended back down to the creaking floor boards
I recall how quiet it was in that room
Lacking windows and furniture
Lacking security and confidence
But I was determined
I slipped on my blue gloves
A snap against skin like a war cry
I was ready to begin
I started by dusting the corners, then the walls
I swept the floor with gusto and will
I envisioned that room spotless
I envisioned windows filing that room with sunlight
I envisioned music playing soft tunes that pulled your body into rhythmic motion
I envisioned that room filled with people that I love
I envisioned us smiling, laughing
Pure moments of humanity shining in and brushing my skin with its warmth
Once the festivities come to end
I envisioned that room bright with the moonlights company
Until morning when sun rises and fills the room once again
This room represents my mind, and the much needed cleaning it needs of all the negativity that I've allowed to clutter it.
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
The sweet fresh breeze, and the howls of my distant brothers
I can feel their anxiety
Enemy is near
These halls frosted and tainted are unsafe
Instinct drives me from this scene
I cannot let my gaurd down
I must be aware
But the abandoned halls echo my every breath
My heartbeat slows
Everything slows
I can feel their presence they're here
But where is unknown
Lightening my steps
In the next sudden moment i am attacked
Knocked to the ground
A roar bubbles up from deep in my throat
I slash out with a firce scream of dominance
Blood spilled
A slash across my face
But i will live a life knowing
I had won
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
I can't say that I was happy
Maybe the time we spent did mean something
Maybe the pain I felt was real and not just pretend
But I can't find the proof it must be hidden
                             My scars still hurt
                             My eyes aren't dry
                                  The tears I cry
                           There real, there real
We might not have been real but I can't say I didn't love you, I wish I could rewind back to the first day, back to when we didn't regret every kiss
                                   Between us
Why did we have to fall so far apart, that no glue
                          Could hold us together
               My hearts still beating but I can't feel
          My voice doesn't shake when I say your
                                         Name
                               But the tears I cry
                            There real, there real
                  Why can't you see you hurt me ?
                          Why can't you see me?
                         I'm falling from your grip
                          I'm falling I might slip
                      Catch me please catch me
                                My scars still hurt
                                My eyes aren't dry
                                 These tears I cry
           My hearts still beating but I still can't feel
       My voice doesn't shake when I say your name
                                  These tears I cry
           My heart still beating but I still can't feel
       My voice doesn't shake when I say your name
                                  These tears I cry
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2014
What words do I write?
I put them down, but are they right?
Do they paint the picture, give you sight?
Do these words empower, give you might?
Do they illuminate, give you some light?
Do they cling on, hold you tight?

What message do I send?
Do these words make sense, are the pretend?
Do these words give you hope, give strength to lend?
These words are in my mind, they are my only friend.

These words are my blood upon a sheet
They're where reality and imagination meet
They are my defenders, my enemies they defeat
Without these words my heart would retreat

But do they make sense, when they fall upon foreign eyes
Do you feel my pain, my love, do you realize
That these words are my soul not my lies
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2014
The light fades behind the moon
My heart is once again tainted
It is as if the darkness assumes
My soul is to be repainted

It's claws thick and stained by blood
Like a werewolf it howls sadly at the sky
I thought then it understood, but
I plea, I beg, dear god tell me why

I become this monster in my flesh
When the sun descends and retires
I become overwhelmed by death
And give myself over to haunted desires

I am asleep inside my own mind
These acts are not my own
I wake horrified to find
That inside I'm not alone
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
They say I have one wish
But only the moon
Hangs in the sky
The darkness
Swallows the world whole
And leaves us with the shining moon
I'll be going soon
To the place that's drank my tears
Where I confessed my fears
Place where darkness leers
And let's the winds cheer
Through the trees
And near the creek
That place it's safe to be
Me, without a mask
Me without rules
I can tell my secrets
To the rhythm of
Leaves that caress each other
The place where I can close my eyes
The place to unload my stress
The place where I'm not a mess
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
The sun is back!
I feel it rain down on me
I smile back up at the sun
And let it soak into my veins
The snow still remains
I feel the dark days melt along with it
I lay there, even though the ground is wet
And look at the sky
Wondering
Are they watching down at me?
Can they see what I cannot see?
Do they hear what is hidden behind words?
Do they want to help?
I can feel the sun brush my skin
I can feel the hope regrowing in my heart
Maybe I can start anew
Breathe fresh air
Now that I can feel the sun
And smile back too
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Rain falls crashing in on me
The clouds gather darker than before
We aren't who we used to be
I don't know who we are anymore

This used to be such an easy game
Until it all began to fall away
I barely even know your name
It's all a blur from yesterday

Gathering the shattered bits of the past
I wish for the way it used to be
I can't remember how time went by so fast
I barley remember the old me

I rarely ask for help but I'm asking now
I'm breaking under this weight
I need to get out I don't know how
Help me out of this broken state

I'm falling apart at the seems
Nothing's the way it was
Can no one hear my woeful screams?
No one ever does
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Sun setting, disappearing beneath the sea
The slight sadness that was left whisked away
I was there, thinking of my life
And it had struck me
Like a bolt of lightning shot from
The heavens fingers
I was wasting time , I was wasting it on what?
Bits of hurt feelings , and pity for myself
I got up and made my way to the waters edge
And watched my starry reflection
Being pulled in different ways
As the sea breathed
If I wanted to be great
If I wanted to make a small mark
In the big world , I couldn't just sit on the shore
And wait
I have to pursue the fleeting possibilities
I have to open my mind to things
If I wanted to be great I had to think for myself
I have to stop dwelling on little things with
No relevance
Moving onward , walking across the waters
To capture the sun
In my palms
And rise my hands to my ancestors
As an offering
That from this point
I will put forth the strength and integrity
I pledge to have
That I will push my way through if at first the way is to small
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
I want to join the wilderness
where the trees watch but don't talk back,
where the water shows your reflection,
but doesn't point back and laugh.

I want to join the free
where the hills are at your mercy,
where the wind encases you,
but doesn't knock you down.

I want to join the primal,
where you can be what you want to be,
where the night can be your guide,
and the forest can be your sea.

I want to be anywhere but here,
the place you can't see clear,
through the abundant amount of tears,
that fall without my say.

I want to slither into the dark,
where no one will find me,
and I don't have to be
the perfect everyone wants to see.
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2013
The sun doesn't shine anymore,
it's been dark for a while.
When the day looks like it might be good,
the weight comes crashing down.
Sending me spinning in this hell,
with my heart stapled to my sleeve.
The voice in the back of my head is yelling,
telling me when it looks better it'll only get worse.
Tragidy everywhere that I look,
like torn pages from a book
where is the end?
Not at the end of a rope
or the last drop of hope,
it can't be that last single tear
or when you are numb without fear.
When you're missing ignorant bliss
back when  you didn't feel like this.
When you keep yourself up at night,
thinking of all the things that aren't right.
Back when the sky was always blue,
and you didn't question everything you do.
When your body wasn't sore from working tell you're dead,
back when you weren't scared but fearless instead.
Where have the days gone?
When everything in the world didn't feel so wrong.
I bet alot of people can relate
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2014
Why am I so disappointed if I have everything I want?
*Because I have nothing I need.
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