You cannot control how you are loved
Only how you love
Darlin…
Dance with me?
Move me
And move around me?
Put your hands on my body

Let us touch pulses

Let our cells meet and mingle

Maybe a few of the singles ones
Can hook up

Let me send you a dream?
One where we are all lips and hands
But we keep our eyes wide open
So that we may touch souls.
Come…
Come for me….

Into deeper waters
Let's find treasures together
Jewels no one has ever heard of
Ones that have been buried so deep…

Deep inside. Cravings and caves…
Hungry holes, paths enchanted
By emerald green and rushing waters
Dappled and caressed with
Midday sun that stretches
Our growing souls up to the light

We climb together
And over each other
Gently and gingerly
As though we are covered
By treacherous walls

Come for me
To conquer these walls
And catch a peek
Of the nakedness of the universe
Sprawling on the other side
Open and reaching
Pulling you into her warm waters
Floating in a sea of cosmic
Bliss…
Light and pulsing
Warm
Like sun beams on a naked body

Come for me
Darling
Come for me
Come…
And get me

I am no back burner girl
I better be taking up the whole stove
I want what we are cooking to feed a multitude
I want it to be good enough and big enough
to share and pass around
I want my meat slow cooked and laced with butter
Dripping and falling off the bone
Everyone seems to be looking for a microwave meal
Which really is just being afraid and settling
Scared to not get that home cooked meal right
But here is the thing about a slow cooked meal
You get time to reverse your mistakes
You get to soak some things in
And the warmth it gives you
Surpasses all your desires to be right and perfect
Allowing you to just surrender into what is
Giving you understanding that the bitter complements the sweet
That it is just as necessary.

So I want to have fought with you before we had ***
And when we do get there
I want to break upon each other
Because we are practicing letting go
I want to know what happens when you blackout drink
And I liking knowing how you kiss other girls
I hope you know how I am when I am thirsty
I want you to know what it looks like when I am careless
And how it goes when I pick myself back up
I need to know the exact flushing shade of your shame
I want you to know how I hide mine
I want to know what it is to doubt you
I would also like to know what it is to forgive you
Or for you to have to forgive me

I don't want you in the bar bathroom
I don't want to be bent over holding the wall up with eyes closed
I wanted to be so deep in your eyes that it truly feels like we are one
I want you in my bed
Completely naked, physically and emotionally
With sunlight pouring through the window
I don't want to be ******* for an ******
I want to meander and explore and be fascinated
I want to be so in tune with you that when you opened yourself to me
I get to appreciate every beautiful
and even ugly molecule of it.

Because
It wasn't sober
Soft morning sunlight
Pouring through the bedroom window
And
Your eyes were closed

All these dark people
Cant find their own light
Hidden there
Right between their eyes

She was wild in a way that was swaying and ancient
It was not a crazy whipping about of emotion
But a building swell and a powerful and slow release
But most did not understand this
So when they touched her hips
They just held on
But she needed someone
To do so much more than hold on
She needed that slow
So slow you didn’t know it was happening
Slow steering
Gentle erosion
Like the water does to the mountain
The wind to the desert
She needed those ancient drums
To keep her rhythm
To loose her demons
To be free

Yes
it is going down the drain
we all are
and always were
so **** it
might as well grab a few things along the way huh?
Why the hell not
There is no reason here
and there never was
doesn’t make any of it any less relevant
There are some things in these drains
so catch as much as you can
on your way down
You’re gonna need it

Oh the moon
Oh the sky
Oh the air
It all breaks my heart

Because my kisses are in the air
My tears are in the sky
And my love is in the moon.

I tenderly hold these leaves
and have watered them
with my joys and sorrows
This is a strong
and determined little sprout
it has lived off of only
moments of the sunshine
that is your face
imagine where this sprout
could grow if it
were to bask in your warmth often.

You are loved just because
There is no defined reason for it
Its edges are misty
Like those of a cloud
But it is heavy
And pressing
At the middle
Ready to give up
Its burden
And someday
It will release it's waters
Revealing the sun to us both
The light will hit your face
And what a sight it will be
My heart bursts thinking of it.

Even the sun cannot penetrate the ocean's depths
And cats don't care for water
But the earth can hold and know the sea's capacity.

He watched
Her weaving hips
Mate his slow
Powerful slaps of the drum
Torso twisting
Pausing, wild
In a ritualistic
Hedonistic sacrament
Where the harvest
Fertility and very prosperity
Of mankind
Depended on the lecherous
Undulating movement of her hips
He became hyponotized
By her dance
Unable to tell
If her hips or his hands
Set the beat
Seeming as one
She rode the archaic
Bumps and bends
With an unearthly
Intuition and grace
And his hands hunted
Her spiraling body
With a lion's
Agility and finesse
Until they climaxed
Into perfection
And becoming one

We are broken
But all things that grow
Must be broken
So let us be broken
And let us grow
Come
I will show you how

You must look at what broke you
Forgive it
Love it
And then you will both grow

It is about
How well Your demons
Play with my demons
Can I swallow your darkness
Can you swallow mine

You in your head
Is the most beautiful
Moment I have ever seen

If you feed the fire too much
You will lose control
Then things burn

If the earth does not get rain
She becomes brittle
Lending a fuel

So keep the fire low
Water the plants
And go

When the water crests
And falls
it's white skirts swirl
Invisible hands
Flinging the folds
And feet patter
Hands clap
The waters dance

Hey
Don't write
Love/hate poems
While drunkm

and to you
i send a kiss
on your left temple
for peace

If the King can be generous with her subjects
And the Angel can be shocked and titillated

If the Lion can lead
And the ****** reign in

The two can live
In harmony

I am fire and earth
You are water and fire
I am molten lava
You are warm ocean waters
Do you realize love
What happens when the two meet?
They make islands of paradise

Is okay if we just lay here
And you miss her
And I'll miss him
And if a tear falls
There won't be a jealous heart
For all your loves
Are what you are
And I love what you are
So how could I hate her?

Does that scare you?
It used to scare me too
It seemed so empty and cold
To be so detached
And yet still so in love
But let me tell you
It is so beautiful here
Because to love someone
For all that they are
Means someone can love you
For all that you are
Which means God loves you
Just the way you are
And it's okay if you make a mistake
Because there is always forgiveness
And you are saved!
And you are free
But you are free together
So you are not attached
Like something that can't get away
But you are dancing
Touching when you want to touch
And moving when you want to move

So it's okay if you miss her
And if I miss him
Because I would always
Miss you more.

I get it
your right in a way
i mean, yes your confusing...
but only if i don't try to put myself in your shoes
But when i step outside my own feelings
your actions make complete sense...

your heartbroken
your not trying to play games
your trying to let go
but your heart isn't ready
you miss her, I am sure
I bet that it kills you
that she got to leave and you are here...
trapped in a snow globe of memories
and not even just her memories
but every person that has broke your heart's memories
because breakups tend to do that...
they ******* dredge up **** we thought was over

and so you met this woman who was pretty
and interesting
and open
and hurting too
and she made you forget...
or maybe not even that
but she allowed you to remember in a way you could bear
She made you feel good
and feeling good made you want to kiss her
so you did
and all the things that happen when you kiss someone happened
and before you knew it
you were standing at the doorstep of something
something more
and there was alarm
WAIT!
you had made yourself a promise...
and if you don't honor that
you are just gonna repeat your patterns
and hurt yourself again
and her too....

so you made the healthy choice
so you could heal
and it wasn't easy
she did tempt you but you had
for once
to chose yourself
and that baby is not confusing at all
I understand it completely

You make me want to strip down
Yes physically
Slowly wrapping my self around you
And in you

But not just that

You make me want to peel away
The layers of my soul
And lay her
trembling before you

I want to expose all the corners
Hidden in my mind
Make them open wide
Grasping for you

I want to surrender my heart
Raw and uncovered
Yearning to experience the ecstasy
Of being yours

The first moment I out eyes met
an image that is forever burned into my memory
If I grow old
and forget everything else in this world
I am sure to be haunted by that moment
I could paint it from memory right now
Your stance
your smile
but mostly your eyes
They are what burn in my mind
all the little things that flash in my mind of you
they are all behind this image of your eyes
They leaped at me...
Literally
That one second was a million year
It was as though a voice whispered
"this is a soul you must know".
If I were to paint this moment
to capture the color that burned behind your eyes
I woul .not be able to do
They haunt me daily
piercing me
demanding I spill myself to you
And I can not hope to hold back
no matter how hard I try
My soul just opens to yours

What purpose is there to meeting such a soul
Such a moment
if nothing is to come of it...

Why were you even dropped into my life.

Come,
Put your head on my lap
I will brush your hair
And sing you a song
Let your tears fall
As you grip my thigh
And release your heart's sorrowful sigh

A man can detach from ***
he can hold your face in his hands
whisper to you how beautiful you are
as he gently showers you with kisses
and walk away

and your poor heart
that traitorous *****
follows him where he goes
and they both forsake you.

Math.
Always trying to be main *****
Needs to realize she is bottom *****
Don't call me
I'll call you when I need you.

It is the light behind your eyes that makes you beautiful
It is the sun settling on the fine hairs of your face
It is the strange meddlings of your mind,
And the faces you make when you put them into words.
It is the silent note of your sigh when your impatient
It is the tears on your face that you hurry to wipe away
It is the trembling lip with a heartbreaking gasp
It is the snort that slips out when you laugh too hard
It is you banging your head and how you try to keep your cool
It is the blush and hiding of your face when something has embarrassed you
It is these
And not the way your hip curves
Not how fullness of your lips
Not the color your eyes or hair
Not the pink lace *******
Not your unmessed hair
That make you beautiful
****
Attractive
Desirable
Loveable
Someone he wants to know.
It is you!
You are beautiful!

Wait...
Wait...
Wait...
Don't let desire
Anxiety
Lust
Or loneliness
Cause you
To be moved
Wait...
Wait...
Wait...

I am falling in love.
I am falling in love with myself.
I am falling in love with you...
yes you.

my family, my acquaintances
my friends, my enemies
my exes, my potentials
my abusers, my up-lifters
my holy-rollers, my ***** folks
my competition, my stepping stones
....my teachers.

I fall more in love with you each day.
You have healed me, all in your own little way and I will work hard to return the favor.

The more I heal others the more I am healed.

heal and be healed
love and be loved

heal and be healed
love and be loved

heal and be healed
love and be loved.

Confusion
I guess if I'm not sure
I should walk away

Love
I am not yet ready for you
Divided is my heart

Desire
Your whispers are warm in my ears
Your knife in my back

Hope
Your something I never want to lose
But your a slippery one

Bitterness
Stay far away from me
Hope... Hope.. Hope

It was like his hands tickling her were two children playing in the woods, squealing and full of laughter. All around her body the hands played. Until One reached the breast and the Other the hip. There these two children paused in an instant of Steven Spielberg movie magic. You know, those ones where the characters are stopped in their tracks, jaws wide open, and then the camera pans up and out and your eyes are feasting on something beyond your wildest dreams? And the world is filled with awe and wonder? But a brief moment it was and swiftly the hands lost their innocence and transformed into experienced and passionate lovers. Her then squeals of laughter halted into a gasp that be and rumbling moans of pleasure. And that is what she loved about him...them. These swirling moments of childhood and adult experience. They kept her both young and wise.

She had no desire to be a kept woman in a Tahoe with two point five kids
Give her a car that runs, a man to sing to her, and the open road

She doesn't want a house in the burbs and a gang of desperate housewives
She's rather live in a van or a tent and carry on with a man that can hunt

She doesn't want a wedding day and a white picket fence
Let her run in the wild and make love under the stars

*"Wild man
Where is my wild man
Lets stand at the edge of the world
and conquer it together."

Come with me
As we walk these streets
Of a city not so fair

I'll tell you a tale
Of a vagabond
Though I shouldn't dare

Magic was his gaze
But a warning
Remember deceiving he be

Love in those baby blues
Is what a certain maid
Of innocent heart would see

Whirls and twhirls
And rhythms of gold
His gypsy song weaved to her heart

And there was born
A romance be sure
Sealed with his scorpion dart

Oh how he stirred
This young maid's soul
And her naive heart gave in

But she was not
Without charms of her own
And in his wandering heart love began

He saw the maid
For what she was
A trap for his gypsy soul

So in haste departed he
Taking his tinkling songs
Leaving on fair maids heart his toll

So fair maids beware
Of this vagabond
An his gypsy stare

You chose the wrong girl
Even I can see I am perfect for you
I would have taken all your darkness
And swallowed it whole
If you needed a fight
I would have given it to you
And baby we both know
I am a pro at making you feel like a man
I could have stood in a room with your crazy
And we would shake hands
**** that
We would have torn each others clothes off
And ****** like animals
Like a mad symphony
In its chaotic way
It would have worked
You stupid man

Wild man
Where is my wild man
Lets stand at the end of the world
And conquer it together

It slips into my veins
Like a hit of ******
Spreading warmth through my body
As feelings of ecstasy and euphoria
Roll up my back
Stopping to kiss my neck
Making the night velvet
And its brush so soft
As it leave a trail of fireflies
And pleasing memories on my lips and eyes
But come morning wake
It’s all a regretful haze
As I fall into the desert and dry
Blinking away the searing white sun.
The thin ache
The coming down
So scared to really feel
So scared to not feel anything at all.

There was this moment...
back at apartment 4
when i was ******* myself.

I was thin
and beautiful
and my ****** was unprecedented
and the light was golden...

And my heart left you.

Because it knew
that though you could see this beauty
I was seeing at the moment...

I knew you did not know
what to do with it.
You were like a baby
with a small pet.

You just did not know
that you were crushing it.

She was brown of eye and red in the hair.
She had hate in her heart,
But didn't know from where.
To her the sky was pink
And the trees were blue,
Lovers were demons,
And fear was all that was true.

she was no longer desperate
for just anyone to love her
she could no longer accept almost
It had to be him
or something way better

Problem was
she could not imagine anything better
How could anyone awaken her
the way his soul had

Not to say it wasn't out there
but now she would have to be one of those lonely people
that realized something special
something that was a once in a lifetime
and could not hold on to it
So they sit there waiting
with fingers crossed
that this had not been
that once in a life time thing

But we all know that it is...

And then one day I just loved you
I looked at you and it all came together
I saw us
as old people
having made it through so many trials but still holding on
It was the first time I had ever looked at a man
and saw the future version of him
all old
hairy
wrinkly
and fat
and LOVED him
I knew this old man had hurt me
probably had an affair or two
but I still loved him
I knew that we had suffered major grief
maybe there was a child lost
but I still loved him
We had survived babies
mortgages
and putting kids through college
We probably both had times
where we were so distant from each other
that hope was momentarily lost
but I still loved him
I saw this old man and all his imperfections
and me
old with all my imperfections
and I still loved us
And that is love
To know that this person will deeply hurt you
and you will deeply hurt them
and you see yourself loving them through it all
Even after you get bored with the ***
and you or they get fat
lose hair
or manufacture an abundance of nose hair
you still want them at your side
through thick and thin
That is love.

I am not impressed by money
or material things
or a man who is impressed by either

Can you hunt?
Can you grow?
are you ready for an adventure at every turn?

would you give up your boats and toys
for a year on the road
with nothing but a guitar
and the clothes on your back?

Would I just be a trophy on your arm?
Or would you teach me all you know
make me your partner in crime
take care of me, but teach me how to take care of myself?

If your god is money
you could never conquer me
But nothing pulls at my heart
than a man that will toil with the earth