The waking will shake you
But it won't **** you
And soon you'll be so taken with reality
That falling asleep will be a torturous task

Eighteen
Such a strange age
Want to be free
Afraid to leave the cage

Too young to be old
Too old to be young
Too little to spend
Too much to learn

Afraid of the future
Long to be in it
Flightless birds
in a sky with no limit

Nothing to do
So we cry
Nothing to live for
So we die

Addicted to depression
This covid generation
Craving some attention
Looking for clarity
In this lonely,loveless Eden
Zoo animals thrown into wild
Without any preparation

Hate our parents
Hate the world
Hate ourselves
Issues of dearth

Want to do so much
So we do nothing instead
Feeling so tired
Of being so useless

Yes,we have dreams
Atleast I remember that we do
What are they exactly but
We haven't got a clue

Something in between
First-time adult,last-time child
Most of the times we do nothing
But somedays we wanna be wild

Staring emptily into the void of insta
For that rush of dopamine
Too afraid to be bored
Young,dumb and serene

Simultaneously thinking
We are better and worse than our true selves
In search for salvation
On video game shelves

I'm so confused
This way or the other
Too dumb to know the answer
Too proud to ask my mother

All the friends
have suddenly become so strange
Acting so different
Singing odes to hell

Everyone else,
so figured out
Me and my friends
surrendered to doubt

Life-changing decisions
And dank memes
Not know what we are feeling
Not knowing what we want
Not knowing who are

Since we have so much time
We love to waste it all
Give me a friend to talk to
There's too much going on

Waiting for the revolution
Watching tiktok on the computer
Reading novels on socialism
What is your political compass?

Hearing the same song again and again
Left wing or right wing,which path do we take
Contemplating the economy,measuring the pain
Doing silly trends,to be up with our friends

Gold fish attention span
Choose a poison,choose a clan
We have so many plans but don't ask our plans
Be obnoxiously silent or be obnoxiously loud
Time to get real,time to fool around

Learning about the world
It seems awesome and f-ed up
The adults have ruined it
Now we have to clean up

Confusion is an ally
We are *****,young teens
Oh no,******
Feelings of love begin

Hey god if you are real
Can you email me the address
Because I am unable to find the pincode
of true happiness?

Take us to the yesterday
Take us to the future
What to do,what to do
Killed by confusion
Dont judge,you were once like this too

I don't know what I want to mean
But I get a pass
I'm confused,I'm eighteen

You cannot understand us
Because neither can we
Que sera sera
Whatever will be,will be

(Note-the poem may feel repetitive because so is life)

preparing months for an exam
for a number that supposedly determines your worth
******* up to teachers, people you don't even like
just for them to hopefully write a few commendable words about you

all for the hopes of being deemed "acceptable" to some supposed authority
for a place that will decide what you'll be doing for the rest of your life
making these drastic decisions at the age of 18
when not too long ago you were just picking out your prom dress

listing down any type of hobby or recreation you have
to make yourself seem a little more unique
since the competitiveness between you and your peers is sharper than a knife
who will make the final cut in the end and be deemed worthy?

roaming the streets up late at night,
we kept walking even if its dark.
just followed what feels right,
even if we didn't know where to go.

i remember we're laughing
romanticizing the years,
falling in love and getting drunk,
now im 18 and im terrified.

uncertain about the future
as we long for summer to come back
spent our time distracting ourselves
because we can't be kids again

she gave me a box of matches
small enough to rattle between
two of my fingers

in the dark, we sat alone
striking them
and like a magic trick
the light would burst forth
and scatter like laughter
fill the empty breeze
with something warm

we watched the flames
alive and changing
let them grow and crawl
right until they nipped
the tips of our fingers

we’d shake them out
just before we got
burned
watched the smoke
rise and sway, smelled
so sweet, powerful
as the last light
slowly faded
like falling asleep
or turning to stone

over and over
this was transformation
and it was in our hands
over and over
until the box no longer rattled
and before us lay
a pile of ash
a mountain
a change we had caused

Summer fills me with nostalgia in a way that I cant explain. But when the air hears up and the black ants crawl all over our house I find myself remembering when we covered the window with sheets so we could sleep when it was still light.

Most years I was alone, friends not good enough to contact outside of school.
I stayed up late in bed reading every night. It was during summer that I stumbled on my first podcast, on my first ****** novel, on my first question of gender.
In the heat of summer I sought change. Alone, I struggled with questions of college and career and the future. I despaired, sobbing into my pillow until I fell asleep.

Summer is full of possibility, of the past, of the future.
I caught fireflies out on the lawn, I put cicada husks in a jar and kept a tally, I invented games for myself and my sisters. I work late nights and come home to a warm house. I eat cereal for 3 meals a day.
The rules don't apply to Summer.

Pretty girl
You're afraid, you child
You're gaining weight upon those shoulders
Shoulders used to be bone
Grown muscle
And your heart lost its size

You're no longer small,
Though you feel it.
You miss it.

But your talons
Were ready to strike for years,
Now it's time to spread your wings.

Driving 90 miles down the highway at 3am on a Tuesday
Night
Hair flying in the backseat radio blasting at 30
the future is bleak
And the past is dreary
18 years old almost on the edge of 19
Emotions seem unbearable and other times weak
Nothing is ever alright I just sit in my room
and imagine myself grown over night
I cant pretend the future isn’t scary id be lying if I said that
I act a 1000 years my age no one understands that
I don’t know my purpose The search might take my lifetime
What happens when the lights go out ?  Am I in heaven ? Am I alright ?
To say I have worries is way over my head, anxiety creeps in while I’m laying in bed
Is it wrong to think I’m meant for more than this life ?
Think positive think positive I’m trying cant you see !
The more I think positive the more unfortunate I believe