It’s just cruel, you know?
Someone arrives in your life
out of the blue,
someone you never imagined
would so much as notice you.
You get to know them
and the small details
like the small whale shaped scar
on the his upper thigh
and how his favorite word
is a secret only few get to know.
They let you in on their hatred
towards chocolate
and how the only exception to that
are oreos.
They tell you about how
they take a picture of everything
they like, even in their dreams,
and months later you sit trembling trying not to remember how
he use to take offhand pictures of you and, without warning,
it violently hits you
how it has all changed.
Suddenly he’s gone and you’re left with his childhood stories
and his love of the woods,
stuck to the palms of your hands
like super-glue.
You have no place to set it all down, no way to get rid of it.
His favorite songs
and the way his eyes lit up
when he laughed
are painfully imprinted on your skin like colorful tattoos for all to see. You've taken all the pills
from your mother's drawers
but none seem to dissolve the memories that he left on your skin when he last touched you
and no amount of throwing up
could remove the parts of himself
he forgot to take when he left you.
The worst part is
you never really know
when it’s going to be the last time…
the last time you touch him,
the last time you hear his voice
or even the last time
you catch a glimpse of his body.
One day it’s there
and the next it's gone
and you never even
get notified in advance:
"Hey this is it.
You better enjoy it
because it’ll be over in seconds.”
Tears made into words.