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jeristorms Sep 13
Pad and pen,
here are Casey’s thoughts again...

Driving down the highway, Jason is strapped in because Casey’s in denial again. She doesn’t want to lose her little one.

Wake up Casey, you’re dreaming. He’s gone.
You drove under the influence.
What’s wrong with you?  
This is what you get. He’s never coming back.

Driving silent like a mime with its mouth sewn shut.
You’re just like a mime, living in a black and white world.
You’re gray matter Case.
You’re a nut-case.
Where’d you put your straight jacket?

You hit your brakes to assure Jason will be safe.
Convinced that at every intersection there’s a conspiracy against you,
sure to get hit.

But Casey, it’s too late. This is what you get.
He’s never coming back.

Why’d you have to reach for more?



Lock her up.
Strap her in.

Casey's off the deep end... again.
Mentally ill.
megan Dec 2018
Anxiety and Depression
they form a lethal combination.

you’re  scared but also tired,
feeling to much but also feeling numb.

fearful of failure but lacking motivation,
wanting to be alone but afraid to be lonley.

you're at a constant battle with your Mind.
Pigeon Oct 2018
I was
different when you met me,
I had locked the other me away inside her cage
And I know you’d never met her but I’m sure you heard all of the noise she makes
Well, love, she’s out now
And I’m sorry, but she’s broken from her leash
I’ll try to tame her- but please realize
She’s still a part of me
Inside
          I am
                 Chaos,
Furious soul.

Outside
             with You,
I Mayhem.
I wish I never met you ana.
I wish I didn't fall for your trap.
You call me fat
And make me breakdown.
You pulled me in,
With hands of barbed wire
And tore me into pieces,
When I didn't listen
To your screams
Of "DON'T EAT, YOU FAT PIG."
You hurt me so much
That I began to hurt myself.
I so badly wanted to get you out of my head
That I took a blade to my legs
And burned my skin.
You made my life a living nightmare
And world full of regrets.
Even 1 calorie over my limit
Sent me into a whirlpool of guilt
And shame.
You promised me coinfidence I didn't have,
Nor will ever receive.
I know you're not real,
And I know you're a fragment of my own psychological pain,
But,
You made me become a victim of my own mind.
Trust me, it sounds much more dramatic and powerful when you're hysterically crying
jai Mar 2018
the two of them
attached at the hip;
inseparable.
how strange to be
such opposites,
yet forced to live in the
same prison.

one was an insomniac, while the other slept 16 hours a day.

one was confident and able, nothing could bring her down.
the other faulted inside herself, with arms stretched above her, begging for a way up.

one was flowing thoughts and new ideas, with an unconscionable amount of energy.
the other thought obsessively, always in the negative, lacking the ability to even speak most days.

one was a stomach full of butterflies, terrified at the thought of dying.
the other spent her days, chest aching and empty, begging for each one to be her last.

so tell me, how do astronomical
glow
and insufferable
darkness
coincide accordantly?

they simply don’t

with each constantly afflicting the other,
the small prison in which they inhabit
is collapsing
falling into itself
soon to dissipate
until nevermore
Internal observations. What day to day life is like for myself and I.
The magic of the mentally ill
Is the ability they master, with time,
To continue on and thrive
With a hell built into their mind.
I sobbed so hard they thought I was laughing
And instead of screaming, I whisper, silent enough that only
The weak of mind can hear.
And there's something to be said for
The weaker than the average human
And how I have to say they're different from you-
in a negative tone-
Just so you'll comprehend the difference
Between us and you.
Truth is we are stronger than anyone
Will ever give us credit for
And in our solemn solitude
We find ourselves wishing for release
Through whatever could get us out the fastest
From this hell built into our minds.
Truth is we are never going to escape.
Instead we adapt, we tie the knots between hell and heaven
And we thrive
Despite the hell built into our minds.
Shane Leigh May 2017
I often wonder how many steps would take me to Mars;
Whether the Moon, indeed, casts its shadow over us; or
If we truly see the gaseous rays of the Sun.
Do we truly wish to be different from another?
Do dragonflies and lilies dance in the fading colors of the day?
Such beautiful reds, and blues, and purples until finally,
Black.
Giving way to vast lights of fireflies in the night sky;
Oh! How I wish to catch you and keep you.
The jar I’d keep you in would be glorious.
So glorious!

“I have caught a star,” I’d shriek;
But, as I’d look at you, I’d pity your existence.
Are you not safe in my jar bright star?
Safe from croaking frogs and wide-eyed lizards;
Safe from extinguishing lights of your light.
Oh, how I pity your existence fair firefly.
I’d set you free and watch as you fly
To the night above where, again, I’d wish to capture you.

All is fair.
I listen to the howling of distant wolves and wonder
If those wolves, with sharp fangs and glowing eyes,
Would relent to me.
Relent to me creatures of fair coats and mesmerizing eyes
As we swirl into the endless black hole that is my imagination.
It ***** in all things and spits them back out
With vibrant color and –
Let us journey to Mars and back: Come … Come!

It’s beautiful,
The dark sky and its vast space full of blinking and sparkling
Street lights bright with colors – on and off like strobe lights.
It puts me in a peaceful trance
Like my dearest aunt’s sweet lullabies
Before it goes dark.
A spotlight blinding my half-opened eyes
And the touch of a hand firmly against my head.
Pulled taught are my legs and arms;
Tightly held my ankles and wrists.
A jolt of electricity;
Again, more darkness.
Then the sparkling lights of far away fireflies,
And I ponder,
Just how many steps would take me to Mars.
© Shane Leigh
Alec Boardman Mar 2017
What do you want from me?
Borderline personality disorder, why have you chosen me?
Have I not suffered enough in this pitiful life?
All I ask is to have a stable identity and sense of self
But you come creeping into my development and overtake
Labels are nothing
Labels are everything
No in between with anything,
Black and white thinking
Love or hate
Mania or depression
In the span of 5 minutes.
The only constant you allow me to feel is my hatred for you.
Every moment is a swirling vortex of losing hope and
Clinging to anyone who so much as smiles in my direction
But I suppose
When everything is switching
Faster than a traffic light
Because of you.
The thing to be most thankful for
Is to be able to hold onto you.
Borderline personality disorder, why have you chosen me?
My only sense of self, since you change everything else
Novenber 2016
Alec Boardman Mar 2017
A wind chime old and rusting on your grandmother’s porch
The song not as clear as it once was
The new tune so softly eerie that to a passerby it seems just fine

Waking up five minutes before your alarm
Sitting on your bed, wide awake
Just watching the time tick pass, minutes of your life
Until you’re past the time to go

In the idle of traffic, you become aware
Of all the movement around you
Babies whine, horns honk, people sing
Yet here you are
What are you doing?
Are you doing anything at all?

Your bed is a coffin, dusty from the days you don’t open it at all
The sunlight is foreign to your eyes
People prance around you, basking in its glory
They don’t even blink at your inability to see the light.

In the cemetery,
Gravestones surround you,
Bodies of the lost and souls of the ******
You can’t help but resonate somewhere deep inside your soul.
Not that you wish to be dead, no.
Just that it seems you already are.
October 2016
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