my bed sheet is upside down and all I ever do is frown
my hands crack like dirt in a painstaking drought
the rain keeps on falling but it never hits the ground
my wrists act like a bridge from the dry land to the sea
the sea is big & bold & proud but I'm still afraid I'll drown
there are rocks upon my shoulders that pull them to the sky
my head is tilted to the left and everything feels wrong
my hair sits upon my neck and it catches what's inside
I won't close my eyes cause the darkness is too bright
if I can't hear every last sound I will never be calmed down
my throat is always dry from choking on my words
my collarbones went missing back in 2013
I found them back in June but all they ever do is ache
as the smoke fills my lungs it scares away the bugs
my heart is skipping every beat and it never takes a break
my stomach always churns but no pain ever feels the same
my hips can move with ease but hide inside their shirt
my legs are filled with sand and I want to clean them out
my knees are always tight as they knock across the ground
my ankles are slowly separating and cannot stay the same
my feet are made of sponges and cannot be exposed
I try to keep them covered but I feel trapped inside my socks
my body aches & shakes & screams
it's always talking right to me
but it's really good at lying while I turn from side to side
my skin is tangled up in thoughts
and there's a rats nest in my mind

i roll out of bed
it's the 18th again
another months gone by
and i still cry
i still miss you
my feed tells me other do too
i listen to that song and then
it cuts me open again

so i go for a drive
just to feel alive
i drive past your home
so i don't feel alone
i drive down to the park
and stay till it's dark
and i think about you
oh if you only knew

why'd you choose that day
why did you give it all away
i wonder if you had stayed
could things have changed
could you have seen that we loved you so much
or was your mind made up
do you know how hard that was
why'd you do that to us

my skin is warm but my body is cold
my eyes are tired and my soul is longing for you
cinnamon is sweet but sometimes it burns
and so do you