i want to be yours
just not a part of you
i want to be whole
one with you

i want to be yours
i want to be able
to attach the word
"mine" to your name

i long to be yours
just like the sun longs
for the earth
holding on in a constant balance

i long to defy the will
of the law
against the sins
of love

i long to
feel the warmth
of our hearts
becoming one...

like two hearts
exchanging blood,
feeling the pulse against
yours

love always eternal.

(b.d.s)

love falls
as fast as
bread crumbs
quickly escaping
a dinner table

love quickly
ends as soon
as it begins
they end with
an inaudible thud

as our hearts break as
it hits the unforgiving pavement


i guess it can be seen
as some sort
of experiment
that is left uncontrolled
foreign & unknown

it seeps
through our veins
it invades our organs
eats our souls

destroys our bodies

it is our silent killer
destroying us by
making us feel whole

poetry is a sin
of its own
and the writer
is its perpetrator

the words were my jail cell
my mind, the judge
locked forever
with the sentence of broken stanzas

there is no end
to this crime
just like its beginning
never existed

(b.d.s.)

your love
burns me like
wildfires

every couplet
i write
acts as
seething flames

your kiss
is my smoke
billowing with a finesse
i choke.

i burn and bleed
at the sight of you
it overcomes
my soul
with a darkness

this darkness swallows
me
as i fall to hand unknown

(b.d.s.)

i am
on my death bed
waiting for to all stop
waiting for this memory called life just to end

my spiritual drug
has already seeped into me
its already too late
im paralyzed

everything gets hazy
minute by minute
all these faces
so many dark figures

could it be someone that i know?

its the unknown
i have become afraid of it
i try to run
but it is only a lost cause

im only dead

i have drifted on the parallels
universes of the raging seas
of my mind
its too late
to leave
i have entered and
there is no end

the fantasies of words
and the never-ending
breaths between syllables
its far too late

love is gone
love is not real
all lies.
(b.d.s.)

i miss the way
you used your words
to be such a passionate
gift

they clung to me like raindrops
on a rainy day
i bathed myself
in them
in fear
that a day like this may
never come again

and it truly didnt
the raindrops didnt quite
fall in the same soft manner
as  they once did
(b.d.s.)

sharp needles
blood trickles
down my upper lip
i've begin to love you in a way
i never did before

red wine
shaky, distorted lines
of a human being
ever so slightly broken

me.

translucent skin
the bullets' sin
slight breathing pierces
your unfailing heart

warm touch
the pills drop
as the poison goes
quickly down my spine

(b.d.s.)

if only the shadows would
choke me
and make me suffocate
just to serve my adoring present self


if i could
i would want to die
by the power of myself
and beating of my breaking heart

i want to be swallowed
by the deadly crimson
blood of my boiling veins
it is my only dying wish

(b.d.s.)

people can be
a lethal injection
of agony

people will stab you
and ask you
if you are bleeding

people can make you swallow their lies
as if it was a bowl of the finest food
laid in front of you

sometimes some pretend
as if pain does not hurt
as if the concept of pain
does not exist

why do we always ignore
ignoring is the outcome
of society's war
against itself

(b.d.s.)

i guess its another beginning of a new year
another year has gone
as another one is dragged itself in
the beginning of the unchanging
i dont really know how to feel about it
whether to consider the good or the bad
but one thing for certain is that
i will love
and will lose
like i do every
year
it is the unchanging pattern
it is my fate
another year of lies
jealousy and hatred
i could cry
or i could not
(im not really sure yet)
i am alone
bloodshot eyes and all
i want to be better
i cry for it
but i dont how to achieve it
instead i turn for the worse
there is no end
i really want this year
to be something
hopefully
i can
actually do it without ever messing up
(b.d.s.)

light up my heart
of night sky with
tiny little fireworks

shade my heart
with embers glowing
for change

you had purpose
never dying
as the moon falls
your light
always remained radiant

you had the power to light
the sky
in ways that were never possible

help me find
what color i truly am
my true purpose

but you  only painted
with your fiery lights
a love that i never knew

(b.d.s.)

bathe me in the
colors of your heart
take me
into your assorted hues

different colors
all sorts
of purples and blues
you bled one color true

you bled into
my life
like a chaotic melody

you were the constant
the black to my white
the light to my dark
such the balance!

i bathed you
with thoughts in hues of purple
but one day,
you decided purple wasn't for you

(b.d.s.)

la petit morte
a little death.
yes.

this state of delirium
brought through the tender touch
as two parts of two different faces
connect to be one

two different faces
two different worlds
yet they are one
breathing and living

this connection
strong as wire
light and effortless
like a carefree endless dream

a dream that never ends.

a little death
washes over me
like a calm wave

moans echo through the walls
forgotten words
are lost in desires
wants.
fantasies.


(b.d.s.)

i've loved
then i have lost you

it happened so fast
like as an animal's heart
is slaughtered by an arrow

but only the arrow
pierces through my heart
like an arrow with the sharpest point

it leaves an open wound
to show how much i have loved
and how much i have lost

(b.d.s)

here i stand
amidst all confusion
and far fetched intuition
broken

i look at my fists
i begin to tremble
unceasingly

i cannot stop
my skins begin
to fall like leaves
in the night

i bruise
and feel the pain
of rocks
grating on my delicate blood

i see tiny
crimson red dots
spring from the unknown

i know i am hurting
yet somehow
i just cant bring myself
to make it stop

my hands are raw
i am tired
tired of fighting
i don't want to win
my only desire is to live

(b.d.s.)

my heart
feels like a
dozen of slashed
black roses

i woke up
in such a
twisted fantasy
with the slightest
possiblity that you didn't love
me the way used


i refuse to believe
that we were rotting
in the blood
of my dead corpse

i begin to write
the love letter
inked in the blood
of my love for you

i must hurry
before the screaming
sun arises
before im gone

i begin to stencil
a ****** love
for such a lying
heart that i have begun to hate

(b.d.s.)

i am shåï
and im here to stay...

lipstick stains
left on your
swollen cheek
love uncontained

red pen marks
drawn carelessly
i have not forgotten you
my dear

you came home
the other day
why did i even bother
to kiss you away?

the stains
still remain
on a carpet
that cannot be cleaned

your cheek was swollen
i cant think
i forgot
a heart stolen

you were here
maybe you once were gone
i cant think
just the mere thought

(b.d.s.)

there is a mirror
in my head
and it
is not quite like yours

the mental mirror
hold threads of distorted truths
and made up of
complicated lies


but yet,
the mirror
is my confidant;
my everything

it is my raging war;
i am its revolutionary
it is my calm
before the unceasing storm


it was once a lie
it will always be a lie
made of lies
and always lies
no matter the endless cries
the mounting angst
will it ever go away?
no.

i sit at the wretched mirror
wondering the possibility
of a someday
where smiles
will truly be smiles
and laughs
will be utter expressions of joy
i sit thinking about the
the slight notion
of a time
without locked
foreshadows
of lies

i wish to be free
like the girl
inside of me
does too

if only this could be true.

i look at the mirror
a thing which i called home
asking all these unnecessary questions;
and i ask
and ponder

i touch the mirror
and close my eyes
i see a little girl
she smiles

her smile is so perfect
so angelic
like the creases of its corners
felt like the pages of a book

her lips part to say the words
"i love you"
(b.d.s.)

as i walk down
the streets of my neighbourhood
i take life in a whole new perspective

the night's hustle
brings forth clarity
to one's eyes
it wants to be one - daring me

i surround myself
with the sounds
that make the night alive

i inhale the night's forthcoming
i taste the west coast air
on my tongue
the slight breeze
gently tickles my skin

i see the exquisite rawness
of the night
everything is black and white
colour is absent from sight

black and white thrives here
from the city sights
to the cars headlights
everything works in unison

the night's passing clouds
remind me
of who i am
where i come from
why im different

but  the moon holds
a secret unlike any other
it believes

(b.d.s.)

i have made myself
a slave
to my own deranged mind

i have prepared
my own funeral
the corpse is mine

i tried
many times
to save you
to the point
i couldnt save myself

the spirit
is only dead
i am too late

love was
my drug
ending my
nightmare so effortlessly

my breath
is now rejuvenated
in my process
of constant healing

i have been broken
many times
at the seams

to the point
healing is
unattainable


but the partition is
once again drawn
and a new era
has only begun

(b.d.s.)

its quite funny
how people change
you think you know them
but you dont

its like
you just never know
what to expect

people change
they change all around you
like the leaves of fall
signifing the forthcoming winter

people just come and go
you need to learn to expect it
sometime they just leave your life
for no just reason

but sometimes life
doesnt give you
all the answers

(b.d.s.)

there is a box
i am alone
dead inside
motionless

i figure that
this is only a dream
i am only dead


darkness swallows
me
into depths
i cannot see

i am confined
into the corners
of my own head

i try to run
but somehow i am
still trapped
stuck once more

i am a sinner of love.
what do i do? what do i do?
my shadows tell me
i cant escape too

my shadows keep
me as their prisoner
sell my soul
to be a slave of love
(b.d.s.)

as time passes
in weeks
months and years
the feelings i have
for you
have never left me
but only
intensified

i used to think
that time
would give
me the right words
to describe
this passion
yet,
im still
left with
a jumble of infinite words
(b.d.s)

language has become
fool's talk
we gibber and gabber
to prove unimportant points
we speak
to disturb the silence of the world
we write
irrelevant symbols
to tell stories
untold
we wish
to make noise
for the simple
desire
to be heard

(b.d.s.)

black and white
the imperfect perfection
the balance of consistency

black.
the classy colour of darkness
contrasts humanity's existence
the pit of eternity

white.
the colour of light
brightness at its wake
all is seen.

the aesthetic presence
is around us
it is covered by the coloured lies
of this world

black and white
is heard by all.
seen by all.
believed by all.

it is straightforward and raw precision.

everything is black and white.

at least, it should be.

black and white
has been forgotten
by many

but it is still alive
it is breathing...
it lives in us

its presence should'nt be forgotten
it should lie in our hearts
it is now.
it is yesterday
black and white is forever.

(b.d.s.)

your lips told
stories that your
eyes only hid

(b.d.s.)

silence exists as wind billows
through the night sky
echoes through wary hearts
a sudden high

the landscape erupts
as loneliness is now confined
a freeing passion
remains of lost signs

the ocean depict
a pain deep inside
that is all but forgotten
in the shadows they hide

(b.d.s.)

darkness is everywhere
but yet its nowhere

the hazy surreal
quality of the midnight sky
sweeps the bare desolate terrain
like mystical rain

distorted images
lie everywhere
confusing me
i cant see

i want to be one
consistent balance
with the stars and the moon
but also with you

the moon
sees its own shadow
casting on the rolling waves
it is afraid

colour is now sleeping
as black and white
is just awaking
as the grey
aches, just ceasing to make the
next day

are you like the moon?
thats my question to you.

or are you just an image
just lurking in the murky water?

(b.d.s.)

my body haunts me
with the unwritten verses
of a starving poet

and my body tingles
with the emotions
of caged heart of fire

(b.d.s.)

lie.
cheat.
deceit.
repeat.

the ways of a corrupt society.

it is an endless cycle
of broken ideals;
a constant rival
to honest and forthright

the bridge between
honest and straightforward
has been quickly replaced
with the backward
hope of promise

i say its a lost cause
because lost laws
means a destroyed
dead society

dead in souls.
dead in mind.
uncalculated direction
of mindsets

maybe our society may have a chance to survive

or we may be at the pit of death.

it is our choice.

it is up to us to change.

(b.d.s.)