most pay no mind to humble vines
that rise from the decay
to scale the spires, steal their lives
and cover them someday

and most find them a nuisance, true
but they don't see what they can do
they scale up high into the trees *
and live on after you or me

when progress leads to it's demise
both wood and stone choked by the vines
in sprawling cities, quiet towns
foundations will come crumbling  

down

without a fight, these humble vines
will rise from the decay
when progress gives way to demise
they'll take it back someday

I broke the last one
from abuse
it'd been worn out
and badly used
and when I told her
of the news
it seemed that she
was not amused
I played it hard
I played it fast
I told her that
was in the past

but she told me
she didn't care
it wasn't like
she had a spare
humidity,
the cold,
the sun,
to her it didn't
sound like fun

I told her
that was all okay
I wouldn't leave her
in the rain
and I would
strum her every day

I'd take my pick
and lightly strum
just hard enough
to make her hum
never have I
broke a string
and I'm precise
in *******

I've rhythm
that would curl her toes
and I can play
with my eyes closed

I'd give her
just what she deserves
I'd worship
every inch of her
the lyrics
I would not forget
not just one song
but a whole set
I'd play until
I'm tired and sore
and then I'd play
a couple more

spring
is
in the air
and
as I'm pouring out sweat
from a good days work
trying to find the strength
to carry on
a cool breeze
catches me off my guard,
followed by a warm shower
and lifts my spirits
in a way I have long since forgotten
was even possible

I'm a human radio
my body is a metronome
to wood and wires I am linked
I am one with this machine

my only expense is I can't see
if I'm learning or it's learning me
and I sound better by myself
than when I play
*for someone else

pen and pad in my pocket
and I'm ******* on a switchblade
got horns and a halo
but I can't seem to behave

I know just what to say to you
so you'll think I'm a keeper
let me get a little closer,now
so I can cut you deeper

a third-pound of ground beef
and a pile of diced ramp bulbs
I laced it with steak seasoning
rolled in about a handful

ain't got no time for fancy buns
so I thought that instead
of dressing up a masterpiece
I'd put it on some bread

**...and it was good

I got up at 6 again
I had to take the trash out
put on another extra couple layers
'fore I dashed out

caught up on some housework
as much I could
and loaded up on carbs
before
I went to cut some wood

I'm tired just thinking about it

and  4 pm just rolled around
I'm trying to find my center
my back feels like its gonna break
my hands are full of splinters

my heart is pounding in my chest
like it's going to explode
but hey, I'll make a couple bucks
and get some cardio

...warm out today

"sunscreen is for *******"

****

I guess I'll never learn
now that the sun is setting
man, I really feel the burn

made my way home, made some dinner
and I made some decent green
and on the way back home
I got myself some Dairy Queen

breaking
promises
shattering
dreams
tears *hide on my pillow
and silence my screams
I don't look to  create
only seek to destroy
and I play with emotions
as if they were toys
but hey, not to worry
I won't hurt no one else
cos I found
a suitable victim,

*myself

38 days sober

and life is great

so I had a few beers

to celebrate

so then I had
dozen shots
and even smoked
a little ***

now I'm puking in a bucket
and life is great
I think I'll lie down now*
to celebrate

today started off
with a little variety
left my house sleep-deprived
for my group for anxiety

and I look forward to it
that group feels like home
guess I need a reminder
that I'm not alone

and I came out replenished
ready for the day
I feel I can face life
*a whole different way

wherever I'm headed
it's not where I've been
I promised I'd never
go back there again

but I don't really think this
was part of her plan
I changed myself so much that
I don't know who I am

I hate
what I've become
too much
to feel
has left me
*numb

if I told you
I killed my love
would you
cry for me?

if I told you
what I'm thinking of
would you
lie for me?

if I told you
now I'm half a man
and feel nothing
inside,
then
would you*
even try to help
or
would you
let me
die

**?

my love

what do you want me to do?
I just can't seem to find a way
to get along with you

it doesn't matter what I say
you still treat me
that same ol' way

you say my
affection
can't be found,
well,
you'll see**
when I'm not around

it was

until I made the

mistake
of telling

*you

I'm trying

but I don't see the point
when all I really wanna do
is smoke a  ******* joint

or maybe
just a couple beers
would help make things
a bit more clear

It might help my *anxiety
but i'd *lose my sobriety


no

I won't let it win
today
Instead, I think
I'll
**meditate

she said

"I really need to take a break,
I really need some time to think"

I told her*

"I completely understand"
"by all means, take your time"*
"but you may end up pretty tired
from running through my mind"

I told her I loved her

she called me a liar

I set out to please her

she set me on fire

she's the reason I live

I'm the reason she dies

she's the reason I give

I'm the reason she cries

I'd **** for her

she'd **** me on sight

I just want to talk

she just wants to fight

the pain is exquite
I'm begging for more

but she don't even give me
that much anymore

to her, I'm a want

but to me, she's a need

but my love made her cry

*and her chains made me bleed

these waves they ripple outward
from the hollow, open space
voice stricken with emotion
as the tears  creep down my face

man and machine in harmony
as I recite the lines
vibrations seem to dissipate
the flow of space and time

though it's not the same as usual
it's meaning isn't less
the tickle trickling down my cheek
was caused by **happiness

Why am I still
trying to find a way
in
when she's searching
for a way
out
?

because she's the one
I can't live
**without

well, we had a good run
but,
I guess
that's all over
now


but that's  okay


I still have
Mrs. Buttersworth
and
Aunt Jemima
around
*to brighten up my day

everything* we shared
has long since
been
destroyed

except for her
hatred of me

so
atleast that's
**something