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2.5k · May 2016
Waves Of Pure Bliss (10w)
2.2k · Apr 2016
Ramp Burgers
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
a third-pound of ground beef
and a pile of diced ramp bulbs
I laced it with steak seasoning
rolled in about a handful

ain't got no time for fancy buns
so I thought that instead
of dressing up a masterpiece
I'd put it on some bread

**...and it was good
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
breaking
promises
shattering
dreams
tears *hide
on my pillow
and silence my screams
I don't look to  create
only seek to destroy
and I play with emotions
as if they were toys
but hey, not to worry
I won't hurt no one else
cos I found
a suitable victim,

*myself
1.5k · Apr 2016
Scratch
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
as talons tear apart the skin
I find myself aroused again

the sting I feel is quite sublime
no solid reason why I find

I wonder

have I always been this way ?
or am I simply going insane ?
1.3k · May 2016
... and then I realized
Colten Sorrells May 2016
with one foot on yesterday and the other on tomorrow I'm ******* all over the day
Line-poem
1.2k · Apr 2016
Love/Hate/Lust/Pain/Longing
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
I told her I loved her

she called me a liar

I set out to please her

she set me on fire

she's the reason I live

I'm the reason she dies

she's the reason I give

I'm the reason she cries

I'd **** for her

she'd **** me on sight

I just want to talk

she just wants to fight

the pain is exquite
I'm begging for more

but she don't even give me
that much anymore

to her, I'm a want

but to me, she's a need

but my love made her cry

*and her chains made me bleed
1.2k · Nov 2016
You Don't Deserve Me
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
.

.

when we met

it was magical


and when you said you wanted to know

everything

about me

it was terrifying

I ran for days


I didn't deserve you


but when I came back

you were still waiting for me

and you were there

until I made  the same mistake

too many times


I broke you in more ways

than I thought possible

until you got tired of fighting

and then just walked away


you didn't deserve me


XI B
I can never replace you
979 · May 2016
Restless Energies/Memories
Colten Sorrells May 2016
-

bud and coffee

2 am

this hopeless feeling

sinking in

--

my mind is racing

going nowhere

a sense of dread is hanging

in the stale and sticky air

---

I feel a chill

I can't explain

as my head starts to ring

I feel a set of eyes on me

and I can hear her screams

----

and there's nobody else here

but

I'm still not by myself

because I can still hear her voice

still crying out for help

-----

I see her tears

I hear her cries

I feel all of the hate

I feel the disappointment from

* when I came back too late

------

I feel her eyes upon me

as they burn into my soul

I feel the pain I caused her*

as it's darkening my soul

-------

see shadows racing

through my house

or are they in my head??

I wonder if I've made

some sort of contact with the dead

--------

should be in bed

3 hours ago

I know this much for certain

or should I smoke another bowl

*and watch the blinds and curtains?
902 · Oct 2016
sandcastle
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
.

.

.


have you ever built a castle
high and mighty, out of sand
to slip and when you stumble
have it crumble in your hands?

the memory of what should be
will haunt you every day
without the hope you once had
you can never be the same

the worst part is you know that
there is nothing you can do
and nothing else to blame
the only variable was you
I really ****** up
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
spring
is
in the air
and
as I'm pouring out sweat
from a good days work
trying to find the strength
to carry on
a cool breeze
catches me off my guard,
followed by a warm shower
and lifts my spirits
in a way I have long since forgotten
was even possible
875 · Apr 2016
"Take Care?" The f*ck?
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
well, we had a good run
but,
I guess
that's all over
now


but that's  okay


I still have
Mrs. Buttersworth
and
Aunt Jemima
around
*to brighten up my day
841 · Nov 2016
I Can Feel You Fading
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
.
.
.
.


I know you really hate me right now
and we haven't spoke for awhile, but
wherever you are right now
I can feel you fading away
and I tried to text you, but
every time I do
I'm completely
overcome by this
vague sense of terror
tightening my airways just enough
to make me really take notice
and making my heart pound
all the way in my throat
so I am powerless to reach you
but whatever you're doing
with your Saturday night
I just really hope you're safe
I never meant
for things
to turn out
this way
838 · Jul 2016
Wall-Breaker/Soul-Taker
Colten Sorrells Jul 2016
Was so afraid to love again
from times that I've been hurt

somehow I knew that the next time
would surely be the worst



she fought her way past all the guards
and blasted through the walls

she stripped away my foolish pride
and then she changed it all



and by the time she finished up
I was a different man

I'm 6 weeks sober, in good shape
but don't know who I am



I gave up all my secrets, too
she kept her mystery

and in disgust, she turned away
from my dark history



she pointed out what I did wrong
and left me in the night

when I had given up my past
and started doing things "right"
779 · Jun 2016
To : My Higher Power
Colten Sorrells Jun 2016
__ grant me the serenity
to forgive all my enemies

grant me the courage,
and the strength
to never take another drink

I need some of your wisdom,
too
to never lose my faith in you

I'll carve your name upon my wrist
to make sure that I don't forget

but I've no cash
for more tattoos
so Sharpie will just have to do

a simple stripe,
a simple band
a couple dots across my hand

so to the world,
it's plain to see
that you have left your mark on me

and you may think it's kinda odd
that this prayer doesn't mention God

I put my faith in something real
the most profound thing I can feel

there's no one I would place above
the one I'm always thinking of
To someone who has pulled me from the edge a lot more times than I can count. Who believed in me when no one else did, and the constant reminder that I am not alone. In you I have found my higher power.
756 · Apr 2016
Test
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
I'm trying

but I don't see the point
when all I really wanna do
is smoke a  ******* joint

or maybe
just a couple beers
would help make things
a bit more clear

It might help my *anxiety

but i'd *lose
my sobriety


no

I won't let it win
today
Instead, I think
I'll
**meditate
736 · Oct 2016
this place
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
.

in this dingy cell of my own creation
there really isn't much to hope

it is cold, dimly lit
and the only thing they serve
is hopelessness
with a side of regret

but there's still a ray of hope
I lost the key,
but the door and it's hinges are rusted
from the seething hatred they contain

this place will not become my tomb

**XVII
732 · Nov 2016
Best/Worst
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
.
.
.

When I think of you,
I can't help but think about


your sleepy voice
telling me "good morning"

the way you took my dogs in
and spoiled them like your own

the way you calmed my fears
and beat my demons into submission

the way your skin always radiated
a warm, angelic glow

the way you fought for me
til you had nothing for yourself

the way you loved me so hard
you almost had me loving myself

the way you built me up so high
to knock me down later

but most importantly,
when I think of you
I can't help but think
of all those last chances you gave me

you were the best thing
that ever happened to me
and thinking about you is killing me, but I know that you would make me regret contacting you. But I want to hear your voice more than anything
729 · Jun 2016
Hollow-Man
Colten Sorrells Jun 2016
anesthesia
and opioid dreams

rolled-up smokes
and guitar strings*

with rotting mind
and rotting teeth


I'm losing weight
I'm losing sleep


cut me open
sew me up


the pain I feel
is not enough


give me something
more to feel


try to persuade me
this is real


I've spent so much
time on my own


that I'm afraid
it's left me cold


I'm a monster
so I'm told


my loyalties are
bought and sold


look in the mirror
I'm repulsed


I check my wrist
can't find a pulse


this corpse I wear
is just a shell


that keeps me locked
inside this hell


with runny nose
and bloodshot eyes


I sit alone
and wait to die


but it seems death
will never come


*or have I already
succumbed?
729 · May 2016
Mental Constipation (10w)
Colten Sorrells May 2016
hoping
   that another
cup of coffee
will bring
something out
710 · Apr 2016
In The Sun
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
I spent a lazy afternoon
  *just lazing in the sun

    no worries about anything
     not even anyone

          I even played a lazy song
            I played beneath the sun
              the melody flowed carelessly
               in front of everyone

               but now I'm waning
                    with the sun
                         so now, I think
                              my day
                                   *is done
696 · Apr 2016
Home
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
today started off
with a little variety
left my house sleep-deprived
for my group for anxiety

and I look forward to it
that group feels like home
guess I need a reminder
that I'm not alone

and I came out replenished
ready for the day
I feel I can face life
*a whole different way
664 · Nov 2016
Burn
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
she came and saved me from myself
and when she dared to ask for help
I left her in the flames to burn
'cos I knew i'm no good for her



III

*16:07
You're the best person I'll ever know
662 · Oct 2016
Addiction(s)
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
.

it's like finding an exciting new disease
that you never knew
you couldn't live without


it becomes your spirituality
after a "spiritual experience"
affecting everything you do

you're on the path to destruction
and you chase things that leave you empty
like impossibilities

you spiral down, down
until you reach the bottom
and there's no one to break your fall

..

after being down for long enough
your anxieties are replaced with apathy
to where up and down look the same

and if you're very lucky, someone may come along and make a huge impact
somewhat restoring your will to live

gratitude turns to love, love to obsession
as they become more valuable to you
than anything else in your existence

...

determined to be enslaved no longer
you cast aside your old, toxic friends
in favor of healthier choices

with a sizeable chunk of your life missing
you are left with a hungry void
that must be filled with something

so you take up a hobby, or several
and feel some contentment, but it don't last
you're trading one addiction for another

....

your demons haven't gone, but
you find you can keep them contained
if you can keep yourself busy

they're too weak to fight, but they will still
try to trick you into submission
by manipulating your dreams

and even with all the will you can muster
you find that you are basically powerless
and your higher power is tired of your ****

...and it will always be a part of you
656 · Jun 2016
Tied Down, Set Free
Colten Sorrells Jun 2016
I was so angry, running scared
until she caught me unaware

an angel fallen from above
that taught me how to live and love


before her I was filled with hate
I blamed each circumstance on fate

it took me far too long to see
that she always believed in me


so I approached her, acting tough
I don't know how she called my bluff

she seen the heart I tried to hide
behind all of my foolish pride


so I tucked tail and ran away
but she still found me anyways

seemed all I'd lost, in her I found
she helped me turn my life around


now I'm no longer running scared
for anything I am prepared

she filled my empty heart with love
and gave me strength to rise above


she even tore out all the hate
and helped me realize my fate

and now I think I finally see
why she would not give up on me


and if all that was not enough
she broke me down and made me tough

she stripped away my foolish pride
and showed me what I tried to hide


she tied me down and set me free
in her I found serenity

and all I lacked, in her I found
so I will never let her down
For Shannon
651 · Oct 2016
Parasite
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
.
.
.

my existence was so chaotic
that I couldn't get enough sustenance
but you'd sustained me

and slowly but surely
I'd get strong enough
that I didn't need you anymore

so I'd toss you aside
until I got weak enough
that I wouldn't have made it without you

then I would come crawling back
to feed on your positivity
and fill your head with sweet nothings

that was then, but now
I can't live without you
I've grown attached

but not in such a loving way
I need you the way
a parasite needs a host

and I just can't
accept the fact
that i'm killing you

but I just can't let you go
and it's too late to walk away
because I'm under your skin
651 · Nov 2016
004
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
004
my eyes feel like
they're gonna bleed
and I can't get
enough to eat



11/17/16
*00:45
things have been a bit fuzzy
649 · May 2016
Like A Country Song
Colten Sorrells May 2016
my teeth are rotting from my skull
they're coming out today
it seems my body's breaking down
but I guess that's okay

I often sit and wonder if
I'll live to twenty-five
without someone to reassure me
everything is fine

the story of my life so far
is like a Country song
with nothing meaningful to say
and it takes way too long

she said she loved me for my heart
but I knew that was fleeting
because sometimes I just can't tell
if it's still even beating

my teeth are rotting from my skull
my Muse has left me, too
there's always
something breaking down
and nothing I can do

and at this point, I just don't care
if I should live or die
with nobody around
to tell me reassuring lies

I'm left without the only thing
that ever made me strong
so everything is ****** now
just like a Country song

she said she loved me for my heart
but it's no longer beating
but why am I still leaking out?
how could I still be bleeding?
And just like a Country song, this **** makes me feel pretty homicidal/suicidal
635 · Nov 2016
Gone
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
I thought that I was finally strong enough
to make it without you, but I'm afraid
I've fallen back into that same hole
that you pulled me out of and

I need you

just like I always did
when I felt myself
losing control

where have you gone?

I searched
the familiar places
but I can't find a sign of you anywhere

why did you leave me?

you knew I couldn't make it on my own
just like when I left all those times
I knew you needed me
I guess what I'm really trying to say is,  I miss us
624 · Apr 2016
Within / Without
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
Why am I still
trying to find a way
in
when she's searching
for a way
out
?

because she's the one
I can't live
**without
622 · May 2016
Stoned
Colten Sorrells May 2016
Smoked out,
I'm choked out
I'm feeling kinda dumb
my eyes look like they're gonna bleed
my face feels kinda numb

I hope nobody spoils
all this happiness I've found
it might just **** up everything
to have someone around

listening to the radio
just tryin' to let my mind flow
I feel this sense of dread
And I'm paralyzed
'til I realize
it's all just in my head

day-dreams
in color
as hours fly on past
the only thing I don't like
is that it don't really last

but that's okay, I figured out
exactly what to do
I'll just pack another bowl
about every hour or two
602 · Apr 2016
Bridge
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
I broke the last one
from abuse
it'd been worn out
and badly used
and when I told her
of the news
it seemed that she
was not amused
I played it hard
I played it fast
I told her that
was in the past

but she told me
she didn't care
it wasn't like
she had a spare
humidity,
the cold,
the sun,
to her it didn't
sound like fun

I told her
that was all okay
I wouldn't leave her
in the rain
and I would
strum her every day

I'd take my pick
and lightly strum
just hard enough
to make her hum
never have I
broke a string
and I'm precise
in *******

I've rhythm
that would curl her toes
and I can play
with my eyes closed

I'd give her
just what she deserves
I'd worship
every inch of her
the lyrics
I would not forget
not just one song
but a whole set
I'd play until
I'm tired and sore
and then I'd play
a couple more
598 · Apr 2016
Switchblade
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
pen and pad in my pocket
and I'm ******* on a switchblade
got horns and a halo
but I can't seem to behave

I know just what to say to you
so you'll think I'm a keeper
let me get a little closer,now
so I can cut you deeper
597 · Apr 2016
something
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
everything* we shared
has long since
been
destroyed

except for her
hatred of me

so
atleast that's
**something
595 · Nov 2016
006
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
006
Sometimes I sit and wonder why
no matter what I do
I'll be the thing I most despise
I'll end up just like you
My father was always the perfect example of what NOT to do when I was growing  up.
592 · Nov 2016
005
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
005
I agree and nod my head
I didn't hear a word you said
I'm tuned into the grinding gears
that cause that ringing in my ears



*11/17/16
00:31
I feel like maybe something in there is about to break, if it hasn't already
584 · Apr 2016
Sounds Like Serenity
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
these waves they ripple outward
from the hollow, open space
voice stricken with emotion
as the tears  creep down my face

man and machine in harmony
as I recite the lines
vibrations seem to dissipate
the flow of space and time

though it's not the same as usual
it's meaning isn't less
the tickle trickling down my cheek
was caused by **happiness
579 · Oct 2016
Distance
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
I'll be there for you

...

when it works out for me

but,

I don't feel like

feeling

anymore

so

I'm gonna

take

a step back

and try

to just

"be"










I'm pretty sure

the universe

won't

miss me

too much

I'll be back

when I

feel more like

"adulting"
566 · May 2016
Time Machine
Colten Sorrells May 2016
from day to day
I live my life
trying to avoid distractions
the modern world
and all it's noise
aren't to my satisfaction

I find no reason,
find no rhyme
in these advanced
and backward times
but I have found a time machine
it's in my yard
the trees

I hear
the whispers
of the stream
that runs
not far below my feet
far from the toxic,
*high-tech toys

that make that
high-pitched
buzzing noise

those LED lights
*flood my brain

magnetic fields can leave me drained
but plants
exude an energy
*that can recharge my batteries
562 · Nov 2016
fire
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
.
.


I lit a fire once
spent hours feeding it
fanning the flames,
stoking the embers
just so I could watch it burn
until I got bored
and decided
to watch it die
she gave me warmth, comfort, and love and in the end, I didn't even give her enough to keep going
559 · Nov 2016
4:20
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
.
.
.

clouds of smoke rising
as the day is burned to ash
taking hours with them
531 · Oct 2016
Follow Me
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
.

.

.

.

I'm going to do some traveling

but I won't get too far

I've got an ounce of madness, and

an Epiphone guitar


3 20s in my wallet, so

it won't be long, you see

and I feel like I need someone

to come along with me



so come with me into the waters

I need some company

we'll cast this heavy world aside

and float on apathy



so follow close, don't lose your step

I think I have a plan

we do this right and things

will never hurt the same again
528 · Oct 2016
pill
Colten Sorrells Oct 2016
.
.
.



**I tried
to take the pill
but
it stuck
in the back
of my throat
and it tastes like
the lips
of a lover
I thoughtlessly
kissed
right after
they went to work
tasting every inch
of my love,

unfortunately
512 · May 2016
Extraction/Attraction
Colten Sorrells May 2016
went to the dentist, faced my fears
extractions left me shedding tears
but much to even my surprise
they only flowed from my right eye

I'm wired kinda strange,
you see
I think
there's something wrong with me
some things that most don't like to feel
can really give me quite a thrill

you can punch me in the face
'til blood is all that I can taste
you can scratch me,
brand me,
bite me
but all that **** will just excite me

after the dentist stitched me up
and wiped blood from my cheeks
I asked her when I could return
and she told me 2 weeks

I'm terrified, but I can't wait
to me it was the perfect date
I can't explain the reason why
but that **** makes me feel alive

I'm wired kinda strange you know
those pliers had me set to blow
I bet I am the only one
who thinks that kinds **** is fun

that day my worries were erased
and I could barely feel my face
and I could swear I fell in love
*or was it just the loss of blood?
510 · Nov 2016
Struggle
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
this battle has been won and I
appear to be just fine
but that's because you wouldn't care
to read between the lines



VIII

*20:55
People always notice my glow, but in that light there is darkness
507 · May 2016
Design's Demise
Colten Sorrells May 2016
most pay no mind to humble vines
that rise from the decay
to scale the spires, steal their lives
and cover them someday

and most find them a nuisance, true
but they don't see what they can do
they scale up high into the trees *
and live on after you or me

when progress leads to it's demise
both wood and stone choked by the vines
in sprawling cities, quiet towns
foundations will come crumbling  

down

without a fight, these humble vines
will rise from the decay
when progress gives way to demise
they'll take it back someday
Repost...one of the first poems I posted here and wrote with my muse
504 · Nov 2016
Reflections
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
.
.
.

I walk into a Sheetz and I notice
there are a lot of people
giving me some strange looks

what could they be looking at?
I wonder, my fly is zipped and everything
is there something on my face?

so I go into the bathroom
and look into the full-length mirror
they have for some reason

and I don't recognize the person
staring back at me
he's uglier than anyone I know

I leave out of there and headed home
in shock, basically
because I know that stranger was me

I have a ****** up eye,
a crooked smile
and acne, for some reason

my eyebrows look like
two of those furry-***
brown caterpillars

my skin is kinda blotchy
and I've got stretchmarks
where I used to have ****

seriously...full-blown man-****

I think I even
seen a few gray hairs
and I found a mole

on my best day,
with a haircut and a trim
I'm still a ******* mess




*VII A
Colten Sorrells May 2016
my life packed in my guitar case
I left without a plan
I tire of being life's punching bag
I'm running out of sand

I'm tired of trying to please them all
it all just makes me sick
but when I try to stand my ground
I'm taken for a *****

since I found my serenity
they try to walk all over me
emerging from a life of sin
they all forgot just where I've been

I've really had about enough
they think I won't still **** them up
I'm wiser than I used to be
but there is still a beast in me

deep down I'm still the kinda guy
that you don't want to test
those same old demons still reside
right now they're just at rest

I've found a source of courage, too
that don't mean I'm not scared
I'm standing at the gates of hell
this time I came prepared

I still walk down the darkened path
but now I'm not alone
I've God and Satan by my side
wherever I may roam
From ~4/1/16~
Colten Sorrells Apr 2016
my love

what do you want me to do?
I just can't seem to find a way
to get along with you

it doesn't matter what I say
you still treat me
that same ol' way

you say my
affection
can't be found,
well,
you'll see**
when I'm not around
People never seem to realize what they have until suddenly, they don't
495 · Nov 2016
Hindsight
Colten Sorrells Nov 2016
I never knew the love I'd found
until the day you weren't around
but maybe there is still a way
for us to meet again someday



VI

*12:01
I can finally put into words just how much you mean to me, but now there's no way you'll ever hear them. I 'll always ove you
Colten Sorrells Jun 2016
I'm staring daggers
bleeding inside

&

I'm torn and tattered
dead inside

behind this smile
broken teeth

I'm

still losing weight
still losing sleep

silently crying
out for help

I

make everything
about myself

you'll never know
how much I need you

because

all I show
is I don't see you


*but I see more
than you might think

I dropped the ******
I quit the drink

I'm never right
I'm never wrong

you'll see the light
before too long

but I'll be gone
before that comes

to all that's wrong
I will succumb

I beg my friends
don't come around

please don't jump in
just let me drown

but no one cares
so why should you?

I'm going down
so you won't, too
...So I guess this is goodbye
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