That crippling loneliness with which I am well acquainted

Waiting as a silent observer

While I sit here and write

Sat here decaying waiting for that call

That vicious lump within my mother's womb

Is it what we fear the most?

That cruel diseases that took my grandmother from us too soon?

Every second drenched in fear and terror

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Tick
.
.

That intense pain we caused Eachother
Not of flesh but
Soul
Day after day
Night after night
Fighting
Arguing
Loving
Hating
Loving
Hating
Then it stopped.
No more arguing
No more fighting
No more hating
And yet somehow I miss it?
How?
How can I miss the awful times we went through?

Your scratches and bites excited me at first
The gentle clawing and nibbling my neck
But you didn't stop there.

You got harder and harder until I bled
I asked you to stop
You bit harder.

It didn't take long for me
to enjoy the pain again
Because it was you
Ours bodies embraced.

That wasn't enough for you

You saw my enjoyment
and had to change it
You saw my pleasure
from your genetic violence
You wanted to hurt me, irreparably.

You attacked my body first, then moved to my brain, heart, soul
Your words burnt like fire
Your tongue lacerated my soul like a whip
Constant agony.

Unrequited love disguised with manipulation
You were pretending all along
And yet I stayed
Now, I am gone.

Forever yours in body, your little *******.

Alone with my thoughts,
What a hellish place to be.

What is love?
Is it Barrett-Browning's sonnets?
Shakespeare's soliloquy's?
Can love, true love, ever be truly represented in written form?
What is love?
Do you feel what I feel?
Is love the same emotion for us?
We'll never know.

The velvet darkness, ever present.
The crushing loneliness, overwhelming.
The screams of agony, soul wrenching.
The primal terror, controlling.
The sadness, understated.

I'm here with you now
No second thoughts
I've decided

I'm ready to take the plunge
Into those mysterious depths
Not knowing how it will end

Love or loathe
Life or death
Victory or failure?

The black veil shrouds my vision
I can't see in front of me, I can't see behind
I walk on, purely out of fear for what will happen if I stop
I walk for what seems like an eternity
I panic, wondering if I'll ever escape this void
I scream, hoping someone will hear
I beg to hear another voice
I plead for relief from this torture
I start to consider stopping
I want this to end
I can't carry on like this
Nobody to help me
Nobody to care
Nobody to lift the veil
No reason to continue.

We see the child cry as he watches his father die.
Murdered by the state, forced to bow his head and accept his fate.

We see a mother's fearful roar as her child is sent to an unending war,
the boy who will never return. For his family's embrace he'll forever yearn.

We see lives torn apart, each person made to play their part.
Young lovers bid their tearful farewell, forced to stare into the depths of hell.

We see the innocents of war,


and do nothing.