Our memories cannot be put into mediums.
There are no photos or videos,
No stories to be written,
No prime time television episodes;

The indescribable, undeniable energy fizzing,
Binding you, finding me, winding us,
Joined in divinity.

Every way I could make
Our moments into art,
I fall short, full stop -
Are we already art?
The way you affect my heart?

Is it living in the moment?
When we're listening or kissing?
Missing no other component,
No further desires or wishing?

All I feel when around your field,
Is that I'm drinking up Life;
That this is the consciousness I was gifted to feel.
And whether or not reality has anything that is actually real,
Layer by layer, the truth becomes revealed.

It's my observance to every occurrence -
The flow of Nature's currents;
What, in life, has pertinence.
Every interaction with you is marvelous,
and of utmost importance.
You're the physical form of happiness.
And I run into a hindrance,
When relaying my senses,
To anyone else not witness,
To what we feel together in this -
Mysterious, beautiful, eternal, immense.

As the Northern winds let loose
My thoughts they turn to you
The mystery to my moments
My cool September blue

You left a trail of flowers
I wish to follow and pursue
You left memories unfaded
My cool September blue

You kissed me in the season
Held me in the dawn of truth
Thawed the chill of reason
Turned my senses loose

The furnace of my heart
Cannot warm me now
I shudder, chasing my thoughts
As they chase your ghost somehow

Leaving me momentarily breathless
Without a summers clue
Hoping to find you in time
My cool September blue

I know you'll come again
And bring a brighter hue
But for now, I stare in silence
My cool September blue

Tell them, "Don't box me in.
You think you know my four corners- but when
Have I even begun to let you in?
Describe my every crevice and shadow; can you even begin?
Every season, I cultivate a new garden. I find a way to bloom again.
Don't think you've known where I've been.
Before you came, who's been housed from within.
The future is still a mystery to us both, my friend.
Don't think you can box me in."

"Much like these hard walls, is my skin.
More layers uncovered within.
And past my hard surface, if I let you in,
There is fluffy softness gifted with the intent
To keep you cozy and warm to the brim;
But at first, it serves,
If I can let you in.
With this total comparison to a house, even,
Don't box me in."

I'm aware of the madness,
Yet refrain from speaking of it
In the public arena,
Because these chains are invisible.
You can see our scars.
Look around, play I-Spy,
Can we spot the wounds
From invisible bondages?

Going back is a privilege
Only a memory has.
Though what is to come
Holds so much more promise
Than the shadows of the past.
The blinding lights of the future
Certainly hold uncertainty.
I trust in my decisions
I indecisively make.
I tiptoe through mines
Of bankruptcy and heartache
With no promise of an easy life,
A happy ending,
Or a forever after.
But fear not, I shall -
I tire of recurring dreams anyhow.

I'm equipped with a flaw
Under my surface.
How it got there is a mystery,
For there is no purpose
Of being manic
And causing panic.

My flaw is hidden
From the public eye
It benefits me
To not be scrutinized.
Unless I'm manic
And causing panic.

I'm medicated for life already
Even though I'm a young lady.
I need coping skills
And I might not be ready
For my next manic
Attack and panic.

It's all fun and games
And a great big party
To be so happy
And live so heartily,
When I'm manic
Which leads to panic.

My senses are enhanced,
Music moves my bones,
But pretty soon
The joy will be gone
Away goes the manic
On comes the panic.

My dose is increased
Much to my dismay
Because at the time
It's so fun to play.
Goodbye, manic.
Farewell, panic.

Used to next to nothing.
Silver spoon is rusting.
Growing where Life doesn't.
Giving in at adolescence.

I am not confessing,
I need not a blessing.
Restless mind is wrestling.
Disregarding outward dressing.

Patient soul is resting.
All these things I'm testing.
Life is interesting.
Stimulated, manifesting.

On a wheel that's spinning,
Reaching new beginning?
Callous circle grinning,
Reminding me that I'm not winning.

A spiritual soul
Through and through
And who, I may ask
Ever knew
I could sprout wings
And take flight
Like the birds I admire
That fly into the light.

I start my days out with the sunrise
Along the eastern shore.
Watching as the morning appears
From up the ocean floor.

The air heavy with anticipation
As another day begins.
This day I choose of my own making.
Partaking of blessings Heaven sent.

I end my days with a sunset
On the Western coast of the land.
The day ends with a bang
As I watch on golden sand.

The sky has exploded
In oranges and pinks.
I have this time before the stars
To sit and watch and think.

Of what will come before me?
Waves washing away moments lost.
Pulling back the shade to expose the day,
Though I'm not here to count the cost.

No guiding lines to follow.
I expect of life no less.
Through the shadows of the mountains
The night's sun sets in the west.

I think of green grass
I once saw in the east.
I think of days long gone passed,
And am overcome with peace.

The sun may rise a thousand times
By the day the end is in reach.
No worries about what has come and is to come.
I just go with the bend in the beach.

The heart of mine
Sings a tune
That does not need
To rhyme with moon.
The heart of mine
Does not need
Language at all,
To make its point a heed.
It says what it wants,
It does as it wills,
And I let it play
Like a child, unstill.
I let it rupture
Its voluptuous rant
About how it’s ignored
Or let it signal its chant.
I let it pout
I let it shout,
And do I ever
Let it all out.
I listen to its sage advice,
And let it counsel,
Its rhythm suffice.
It has a way
Of saying the right things
By saying nothing,
But still it sings.
My heart does a dance
Whether I want it or not,
But I have lived in a cage,
Why should my heart be fought?
And pummeled down
Like all of the rest,
To be less than free,
To be less than best?
I let it live its life,
I let it chant its tune,
And boy does it ever
Rhyme poems with “moon.”

Every decision can alter your life
In unpredictable measures.
Every moment can be a
Disaster or a treasure.
Every breath you take can
Draw in love or exhale horror.
Every minute can add substance
Or can add painful trauma.
Every moment that passes could be
The best moment of your life.
You could be surrounded by
Loved ones, beauty, and blithe.
Or every moment can be
The worst moment of your life.
Overwhelmed with incredible sadness,
Maddened by grievous plight.
It's these little moments that
Make up our being,
Whatever moments pass us
And feelings we are feeling.

Caressing the void
With honeyed fingertips
So that when it
Swallows me whole
It does so gently.

Pillars of salt
Stretched across
A navy blanket
Makes me start
To smile and reflect
On how just yesterday
I would feel alone
And without friends.
Then one day,
Out of nowhere
Appeared your boring avatar,
Revealing a world
Of limitless humor,
Wisdom, and fun,
And however silly this is,
When I look at that
Blanket of sand,
And catch myself smiling,
In your far away land,
I'll hope you're
Thinking of me.

I'm going to stand on the edge of the world
Along the coast of California,
Dip my toes in the surf, my heels in the sand.
What's behind me now will be No Man's Land.

I'm going to swim against the current
Shivering, shaking, not losing my pacing.
Upstream is half the battle
When it's against the human race I find myself racing.

But it's a battle that's hard to win
So I jump back in the stream and continue to swim.

She spoke of swallowtail butterflies
In her native tongue,
Floating and drifting
To each new idea unsung.
But like a hummingbird
Caught in a net,
She was told to put
Her ideas to rest.

Maybe someday you'll leave my side
To live your life as you decide.
And maybe someday, I'll agree
To roam alone where my heart feels free.

Let's not confuse this.
I don't need a palace or scenic views to feel harmony among the company of you.
I just need your time, an ear, a brain, and a mouth,
Let's make this happen,
I'd sit on an unimportant street corner
With you, near the trash,
Just to hear your words and for you to hear mine.
You don't need to be a gifted speaker,
Or say anything particularly important,
Because God knows I won't -
But a conversation,
The only way we can truly
Know each other and grow,
I yearn for that.
Sit down with me.
Talk with me.
Tell me about your day.
Tell me anything.
Let's look at each other,
Instead of always staring in
The same direction.

I want to be with you,
But if I'm investing
More than you can return,
I might just see you
Later on down the road.
The road will be paved
With specks of gold and marble,
Surrounded by belligerent birds.
Because my life will be
Beautiful and happy,
Even without you.
Because I have an inner beauty
That sprouts happiness abound,
And if you catch me around,
And tell me you've made a mistake,
Well, honey, you dug your own grave.
I'm not a woman
You find just anywhere.
I have the capacity to love
With not enough time to spare.
I'm not the type of girl
To hold grudges easily.
For years you held me close,
And for rocky times,
Much too far.
So if you see me down the road,
Hug me and say hello.
I'll hope the regret
That you didn't hold me
Like that years ago
Settles well.

Sometimes life is not what it seems,
Sometimes it's all unseen.
Sometimes it's all fun and games,
Sometimes hearts beat loudly.
Sometimes eyes shine,
Sometimes smiles bring across
The darkness in the morn.
Sometimes a tearful lullaby
Is all you need to mourn.

How his arm got there
Wrapped around my waist
Like a bow
Like honey I can taste
I do not know.

Can I tell him to stop?
Impossible.
Can I make his arm drop?
No.
Because you see, I want it so.

My emotions are high,
My heart flutters.
It just feels so right.
Somewhere deep down shudders.
But compared to the joy, it's subtle.

He pulls me closer
When he laughs.
He looks down
At his side, aghast.
I am a puddle.

Here we are,
You're in my world.
You're far away from home.
You look towards the place
You once roamed longingly,
While I sing songs of harmony
Among lilies that sway in the breeze,
A life of ease for me, when you
See no beauty in the sunshine
That streams down on my laughing face.
I exclaim how I love this place,
Friends come to join in my clamor,
As you quietly stammer,
"Take me home."

A poem can't fail
Writing can't end.
There's always more to tell,
There's writing to amend.
The only poem I think
That can actually sink
Is the one left unfurled.
Unreleased to the world.
Don't leave those thoughts
In your artist's mind.
Such a shame it should rot
When you have the time.
You have a story to be told.
Let the barriers of your mind unfold.

I stood before the Golden Gates
To the Garden of Make Believe.
Where nothing is what it was,
Nor ever as it seems.

I reached deep into my pocket,
Took out the silver key.
The one I use to dream with -
The one the Sandman gave to me.

I think of the day I met him,
After weeks of fighting sleep.
"Use this key to live your dreams," he said.
"The ones you wish to keep."

"But if in your most authentic dreams,
You encounter appalling horror -
You must leave the Garden without a moment's glance,
And return promptly to your quarters."

I become fearful of thine own eyes,
Unsteadied by my own presence.
I condense myself into bite-sized portions.
Submitted to chronic hesitance.

My lips are chapped
From not speaking true.
My body lashed and badly bruised,
From a prison hardened by fear
Through the years, and still, ensues.

Mentally, physically, I feel so old,
Which transpires onto
This life I hold.
All the tales on aging I've been told,
Have come to rest inside these bones.

A chilled heart translates
Into dead air.
Kickstart your stagnation;
Take a dare!
Sometimes, you get caught up
Upon the banks, unaware.

Let your life of purpose flow,
You have just this one to see where it goes.
Pause and listen to the hum of your soul.
What do you want? Let it be so.

Fingers delicately trace
The bounded bounty
Of paper and ink
That lie before me
In neatly organized
Shelves.
Carefully alphabetized.
Without knowledge of genre,
I walk the aisles
Waiting for inspiration.
A spark of interest.
Choosing a book
Is half the fun
And walking home
Choice in arms
Already wondering
What my next choice
Will be.

Your father's making you eat your peas,
How about we keep the peace?
Slip me your plate, I'll eat
Your peas because they are a treat!

Jubilance manifests
In many places;
Butterflies, trees,
And children's faces.
A child, to me
Is something I won't possess.
But surrounding myself with children
Can bring me joy without the stress.
But maybe someday
My feelings won't remain stagnant.
I'll want a child's artwork
On the fridge with a magnet.

Right in the center
Between my brows
The third ajna eye
Calls out to the crowd
Consciously choosing
Who to meet
Consciously moving
The world ‘neath my feet
Consistently bruising
Ego’s covering,
Shell so battered
It’s nearly shattered.
Hovering like those
Sacred birds
Iridescent wings
In my dreams
Answering to nature’s
Haunting calls
Answering to future
And destiny’s pulls.

"You're a perfect person
And I ruined you,"
Were the words
Said to me by you
That moved me.
That awakened me
From my psychotic stupor.
The last time I saw you
I had just tried to run from you
And was brought away
In handcuffs so tight.
For three long weeks
I thought you were the enemy -
Maybe it was me.
Maybe it was my mind.
My ruined self.

Spiders are a girl's best friend
Or so they think, I dread.
They have started a trend
Where they appear in my bed.
You might find it laughable
They crawl to me when I cry.
Although the spiders are affable,
I'd rather be consoled by a butterfly.

The birds have all flown to their roosts.
The air is vacant, save for the stars
That one by one begin to appear.
I wish to them one by one you weren't so far.

I'll count the stars this lonely night
Till there are none left.
Then I'll call out your name
With the last of my breath.

Waiting for you to return,
Only to find my hopes in vain.
Thinking of the last time we spoke,
When you kissed me goodbye in the rain.

It was that stormy night that showed
How well tears mix with the rain;
But it's this wounded heart
That may never feel right again.

I wonder where you are
And if I'll see you soon.
Out of stars to make a wish,
I wish for you to the moon.

Lights light up,
Keeps me from reading.
Patience is abrupt,
I send a friend a greeting.
Spending time with loved ones,
But what are strangers doing?
As soon as work is done,
I check what I am missing.
The minute I awaken
I reach for my device.
Even after love making,
By my addiction, I'm enticed.
Here we go, pull out my phone.
Another day, another waste.
My attention and concentration are gone.
Replaced by a high I must chase.

Everything I put out is
An extension of me.
Like the fruit at the tips of the tree --
The fruit is my gift to thee.

Call me
The girl with flowers.
Flowers in her
Chestnut hair.
She clocks in her hours.

Smiles away.
Grime under naked nails.
Gets ready
For the grind
As she gathers up her pails.

Waters and whittles.
Pours her heart into every pour.
Trying to make
An impression on
Viewers of the store.

Wrenching
In her harmonious heart,
She picks out
The dead
And tosses them onto the cart.

Brings to the back,
Never to be seen
By eyes that need
To brighten their lives
With pink and green.

She brings forth nurture,
Love, and care
To each of her
Bountiful blessings
Caught in her summery snare.

I'm tricking my heart
When I turn away from you.
Either my conscience
Or my heart
Will hurt.
I know what
I must choose.

But never before
Have I had to deceive
That ***** that I need to live.

When you love life itself,
The very act of sitting passively
Contains feelings of contentment.
Harbor love by abstaining from harm.
Refuse to defuse pain.
Leave pleasure as a passive gain.
Rejoice that you can remark,
"I have lived";
That is a truth
The mystery of Consciousness gives.
When the blood and the lungs
Pump and respire
With a warmth in your heart
That sings like a choir -
When the silent moment is sweet,
Light and complete,
How much more can you be,
How much more can you seek?
You are already Love
Every moment you breathe.
You are Love on a journey
To manifest dreams.
You are already a dream
Within a dream.
Now experience fully
However your story proceeds.

Lost with you at midnight,
Crickets chirp melodic tune.
Melted snowflake puddle
Like hottest time at noon.
My soul has sparked and flamed,
All reason lost in wake.
Fire so untamed,
Undeniable, endless ache.
Caressing cherry kisses,
Like cherry blossom trails,
Dancing on a rhythm,
Our quickening pulse unveils.
Tasting up your scent,
Nostalgic like the rain.
Wrapping me in comfort,
Darkness not in vain,
Nourish, quench my wanting,
Like water in the sun.
Butterflies surround us,
Passion not unsung,
All of nature ushering
Our hearts to rush in tune,
All love shared here ensues
Under conspiring moon.

I stepped onto the path of Never Ever
In the thicket of Could Have Been.
Lost the moment I entered
With no guide to lend a hand.

I pass the whispering willows
That tells tales of moments gone past.
I lay down to rest my head
In the Don't You Say That grass.

I wake up to the memory
Of what used to be,
As bright colors form around me
Enlightening what I need to see.

I remember childhood's sweetness,
And the harshness of love and loss.
I wonder how it brought me to where I am
Laying amongst the trees, succumbed by thoughts.

The thoughts of my tomorrows
And memories yet to come
As I make my way down this never ever pathway
I find myself always on.

24/7 I've got you on my mind.
Measuring Life by memories, not by time.
With you, it's just energy combined.
What happens next, anyone's guess, for us, it's fine.

When you're away, I'm aware, something's bare,
The music of bliss missing from the air.
Discussions on Systems so one-sided from my mind,
Need your sly senses and thoughts divine.

I need your laugh and your humor is medicine.
Our accents, excessive, we do it again.
Feel freer than when I'm with my own **** friend.
'Cause together, it's easy, no need to pretend.

24/7 I've got you on my mind,
Still glowing from the last, blissful time,
We got together, always divine,
What happens next, anyone's guess, for us, it's fine.

We thrive in sunshine, amongst our roots
Of Natural land without man-made roofs,
We wash our Spirits clean in sweat-soaked boots.
Only to get ***** again in our bedrooms.

When you're there, not a care, worries rare,
Everything is perfect that we've shared.
Your kindness, you care, the way we pair,
My thoughts of you, lovely, here or there.

24/7 I've got you on my mind,
These words, another way to remind
That in you, I find a one-of-a-kind,
What happens next, anyone's guess, for us, it's fine.