I see you, you are
The lights that are
Making the earth see

And I, I've failed
To recognise the torch
That's inside of me

So please,
Please help me see
I can be better
Than present me
Ever thought I could be

Show me, we can break free
From the constraints of the ropes
That we once walked

Please,
Please help me see
That we're better
And that we're free
We've grown to believe

My pillow once grabbed me
By the hand
And I felt laden
Like a beach full of sand

Please
Please make me see
Now I'm better
Than I thought I could be
I promise I'll grow

Please, Please
Make me see
That we're better
We've realised our dreams
'cause now I know
You're the light I reach for

You left us and we behind with our flaws and fears
The three musketeers
battling addiction and tears
You left us and we behind with our flaws and fears

What have you got to show for your achievements?
It's all gone up your nose
I always think of you
Skepticism in your health continues to grow

You don't look happy
But you give a red lipped smile

Your time is almost up
It's blow for blow
We're almost out of time
It's our last chance to go

Big Brother they aren't monitoring your thoughts
They're distracting you so you can't think at all
Walk around pretend you're having a ball

In Mandy's head silence grows louder
There's too many distractions around her

Part of a generation with media saturation
A drought of originality
Has become our sad reality
Part of a generation bored with medication

Have you ever committed the biggest sin and wished away time.

I'm (feeling) happy therefore I cannot create.
This is the best I can do right now.

I don't know what to do
With these Feelings
I fall sleep thinking of you
The subtleties and their meanings

Leave my shades on my face
You're too bright for me
Wherever you are that's my place
I know with you I'm who I want to be

I'm sorry my hands are so sweaty
I never felt like I did when you held me
You're laugh is other worldly
Infectious smile broke free

You're eyes I don't want to look away
My awkward disposition makes me
You're daintiness it breaks me
And I like it

I can't wait to spend more time with you
Every word I said was true
Yes yes yes
I can't wait to say I love you

I stayed awake through the darkness
But I feel like I've just woken up.

I'll take you high, high as the birds
I got to fly made a cloud my bed

Take off my feathers give 'em to you
I feel sure it's want I want to do

The greatest gal that I've ever had
She made me smile when I was sad

Take off my feathers give 'em to you
I feel sure it's want I want to do
You are my pain
I wont complain
You are my pain

My other tried every night
I have to say I'd call that a fact

Take off my feathers give 'em to you
I feel sure it's want I want to do

In fact she too hammered again
Got my feathers, went up the road

Take off my feathers give 'em to you
I feel sure it's want I want to do
You are my pain
I wont complain
You are my pain

Some day I heard we are meant to soar
In a dream The Composer scored
Over the fence were the foxes played
I knew I wanted it everyday

Use the time to embrace your fear
Fly off cliffs, end the suspense

Take off my feathers give 'em to you
I feel sure it's want I want to do
You are my pain
I wont complain
You are my pain

Something special for me to grow
Are you the one to guide me home?

Take off my feathers give 'em to you
I feel sure it's want I want to do

You are my pain
I wont complain

I'll try find a home
And forgive all in a poem
We'll see where it lands
Put it up to fate
I hope we aren't too late
With all the plans we had
The grounds much harder, oh
We're used to clouds, oh no
Well, if it's important to you

If I drink all summer long
And write my story in a song
Then would that help me land
If I follow my own path
Then I can't go wrong
That's what the teacher said

The grounds much harder, oh
We're used to clouds, oh no
Well, if it's important to you
Then it's important to we
You tried to help me see
But I don't want to know
But I guess I have to grow

Now, where can we let emotions land?
What became of the plans we had?

Why are we not together?

Why are we not together?
I guess outsiders know

Forgive my wording of this poem
See I'm too far from a home
Where all emotions land
I brought all the ones
That create melancholy songs
They paint the dreams we had
The grounds much harder, oh
We're used to clouds, oh no
Well, if it's important to you

Oh what became of the dream we had?
What became of where we thought we'd land?

Why are we not together?
Why are we not together?
I guess outsiders know

You taught me near the drizzle
Crazed on a concept
I wasn't following my mind
Moves like a train on sand

No I'm not alright
You see the world is on your side
Standing with no pride
Fight on

You taught me near the drizzle
Crazed and unused
I was following blurred lines
Blood shot and glassy eyes

Well, no I'm not alright
But I'll look on as if it's bright
**** we'll have a real good time
Fight on

It's been here for years
Oh baby can I please blame you
There's no when for you and I ain't trim
I fought for truth now just let me be

Now, I'm quite alright
I've got the lot on my side
**** it have a real good time

Fight on

I will fight on
maybe I'm wrong
People say I am wrong
**** 'EM

It's been here for years
Oh baby can I please blame you
There's no when for you and I ain't trim
I fought for truth now just let me be

Now, I'm quite alright
I've got the lot on my side
**** it have a real good time

I will fight on I will fight on I will fight on
and when people say I wrong
**** 'EM

I feel sad again
I don't know why

I play around with it in my head
But there's still no reason why

Maybe it's because I fail at all I try
Maybe it's because I am not special
Maybe it's because I'm too weak
Maybe it's for no reason at all
Maybe my outlook is simply too bleak

Suicide; I haven't thought of how
In a long time
Suicide; I have thought of  when
Maybe now

It seems as good a time as any
But how to do it?
The choices again are too many.

I tried it once and failed
(Story of my life)
A halfhearted attempt derailed

I am sad again
I don't know why
I am deep
Below the sky

Help!
I shout
In my head
Help!
I never shout
Out loud
Again why?

Oh let me cry
I want to weep but I can't
And here again WHY

I feel alone
My heart beat frozen
I want to show how I feel
On the out side
But it never seems right
I am a in a solo fight
Again
WHY?

I'm heavy and fat
But I hate the heavy feeling that stops my simile
But I hate the heaving feeling that keeps me in bed
I hate the heavy feeling hovering all the while
I hate the heavy feeling that's rotting my head.
I'm fat and I hate it but I'm sad and I hate it more
This heaving feeling I abhor

Am I rotten?
Am I rotting?
I don't see the point
Is there one?

I am sad
Again
I don't know why

The pain is too much and has been going on for far too long
Good things never last and bad things find a way to stay
I feel abandoned and alone
I feel like I have no home

Lost in a dark forest
It's black and all around are the screams of who I used to be
In the distance I see a tall black tree
On it a rope
I tie it around my neck and set myself free

Every time the phone rang you died
Not every time the phone rang I cried

For you may be where you need to be
Away from pain, loving strain, just free

Every time I passed the bowls park I thought of you
Not every time I wanted to

For it reminds me of how far way you are
Spiritually longing angel belonging shared scare

Every time I see checkered patterns I think of you
You a king and a knight this is too true

For you are my rival in chess my partner in mess
Secured by a joke only by your hand  did I feel blessed

To me you are my jester and my knight
Cruel victim of a monstrous fight
You are a model and a muse
This no one can refuse
But if I had to use a poem to say goodbye
I'd have to title it

The king and I

My King, my Captain, my Granddad.

Even if it's you
Even if it's you
Even if it's you

It means something

Keep my goals dream
Going nowhere

Emma was ashamed
It means nothing

Defuse the loving game
Traded my heart for something

You can have my mind to chew
I've got no contempt for you
If I dye far away
Bury me in a spotless grave

Even if it's you
Even if it's you
Even if it's you

It means something

Time helped, my wound grow
I've got no contempt for you
If I dye far way hope I don't rob my own grave
Your crying

Even if it's you
Even if it's you
Even if it's you

It means nothing

Me and Misses Brown fooled around
With Snow White
I know it happen
But I can't remember what night

The nameless Angel haunts my day dreams
I know what I want but can't find my means

Involuntary chase, infatuation laps
It's too dark too see

Hello!

We feel it, everything you risk
Influence this side of me
Without words you can cause a spark
We're virtually flying

For you I'm sure it's gonna work
For you I know it's gonna work

You can win it all
A spiritual cable if you need to
Just to climb above the last days of this
You can win it all
I'm happy enough to tell that we're okay
And I'm never going to start up again

The tears they're heavy around us
Walk around you'll see them pooling
You don't dwell on past mistakes
And you're strong enough to never break

For you I'm sure it's gonna work
For you I know it's gonna work

You can win it all
A spiritual cable if you need to
Just to climb above the last days of this
You can win it all
I'm happy enough to tell that we're okay
And I'm never going to start up again

You'll mumble the question you won't be able to answer
You're emotions too crowded so relax it's one adventure

You can win it all
A spiritual cable if you need to
Just to climb above the last days of this
You can win it all
I'm happy enough to tell that we're okay
And I'm never going to start up again

You're beautiful don't stand around
And never be afraid to fall

I tried to galvanise.
I've got your smile carved in my eyes
But it's all I can do
Not to forget you
'Cause I'm dying from the outside in
I'm dying from the outside in

I onced tried to forget
But found myself faced with regret
And it's all I can do
When your image sticks to me like clue
And I'm dying from the outside in
I'm dying from the outside in

I've lost my balance
It seems to be chronic
My mind is not made up about you
I'm hungry give me Gin & Tonic

It's fun to play pretend
But this has got to end
I'm trying to replace you
But I've got this mental issue

I guess we'll just stay friends
Until this unnamed feeling ends
You'll be oblivious
That I long for one more kiss
  
And I'm dying from the outside in
I'm dying from the outside in

I don't know why I'm nervous
About you and I becoming us
But I'm a hope-oholic with a tonic


Flawed; Obscured from reality
Afraid of what's ahead of me
This happy thing it doesn't work
Watch me as I crash and burn
Help forget one thing

Now I've got this fear in me
And it makes me see
That you're worth more than I can be
I've lost myself and I can't breath
I'll fight my way to prove I'm strong
enough to love you

Dear, tell me what I need to fear
Hold me while I've got you here
Give me everything you've got
And I'll still fight my tendency
To think I'm wrong

Now I've got this fear in me
And it makes me see
That you're worth more than I can be
I've lost myself and I can't breath
I'll fight my way to prove I'm strong
enough to love you

Flawed; Obscured from reality
Afraid of what's ahead of me
This happy thing it doesn't work
Watch me as I crash and burn
Help forget one thing
Well, I thought that we could strike a useful deal
Rid me of this ugliness I feel
I see that you've got the perfect tool
Come on, love, just bend the golden rule
They'll try push me away to prove
That I don't love you
But I still do

This relationship ain't working out
You have me drowning in self doubt
I spent so long figuring out your game
Ana, I ache when people breath your name

Blurred vision, falling away from reason
You tore me down and sparked internal treason
Whispering promises in my ear
I'm tired and numb to all but fear

You wanted bones and lies
My infatuation left me blind
I couldn't see the decay with my eyes
Your undead hands held me in a bind

I broke free some how
I don't crave you anymore
I certainly don't need you now
I won the battle; maybe not the war

I'm not racing anymore I am slowing down
I fear I'm out of my depth and I'm gonna drown
Your perfect smile was making me insane
But I will never forget the searing pain

It's not coming from my mouth it's coming from my soul
I thought our love would get the chance to grow old
Through the smoke I see the definite end
It brings a tear to my eye and I begin to choke

The blood in my veins tries hard to break through the skin
You had my heart on the wall held up with a pin
You say you loved me once and that is no lie
I'll just walk on, stay strong and one day fly
Away from you

You're right on time
But I'd talk better with a mime
Smoke your cigarette and cough away the years
Yours are the driest tears
Please come from those on their knees
Smoke your cigarettes and shoot the breeze

Look at the world like a decaying work of art
You keep your feelings bottled up thinking that others will just corrupt you
All warped up in diamond cloth
Ready for whatever
Fight against a disembodied enemy

Smoke your cigarette and remind yourself your better than us all
It's ok we are about to fall

My one mistake was that I didn't make more
I spin and twirl over an impossible girl
Energy expelled on a perpetual war
Watching as the robins unfurl

From your record store I did adore
And from that ****** place I did implore
I searched so that I could be sore no more
Trying to simplify what's on the other side of my eye
Where panic and bliss fly and fear and loathing kiss
It's better to be alone then be surround by people that make you feel alone, like you have no home.
I sleep now on the fire, waking in sweat as I fight and fret over the problem of the day.  But I never bother to pray. Are we made in Gods image ?we are afraid and unhappy so I hope he is too
I don't want to be another statistic of the Suicide Production Company
In a world with an end why prolong the inevitable I want this on my own teams I'll take my live in my own hands I'll take my life by my own hands

There could be too much inside me
There could not be enough
There could be belief
There could be love

I'm afraid I'll never see
The me I want to be
Is it too much to ask to simply
Be happy?

The scars on my arms
Trigger submergence
Sounding great alarms
And pain in abundance

From the daze and craze
From the stress and mess
From the pressure beyond measure
My heart suffocates

Happiness is an alien concept
Maybe contemptment is sane
But I wonder 'Does any light remain?'

I have a feeling
I keep it locked away
I can only use it once
And I await that special day

You look at me as if it's my job
To save you from what ensues
Well, I am no knight
Girl I've got my own issues

I am not who you think I am
You'll never understand
That I am part devil
See my red right hand?

You sit and deconstruct the words
I use to deconstruct
And ask me the questions you're
Too afraid to ask yourself

I've sentenced myself to solitude
But you won't let me be
Riding high on the coat tails of fame fame

Answering the same questions differently
I don't even know if my opinions are mine anymore
Is this an origonal thought or was the seed planted
A time ago by an impalpable bellwether?

I don't want your admiration
It's leads to my frustration
I know I'm no lodestar of creation
Your mind needs some mediation
I'm near my peak of exacerbation
Please leave to give me a moments relaxation
I just crave some alleviation

Are you happy?
Are you really happy?
No.

Happiness is an illusion a distant conception dreamt up and designed by advertising and marketing agents to get you to buy trivial, meaningless, material junk.

We once tried to break away from this with counter culture, rock ‘n roll and punk.

Not long until the battle was over and we thought we’d won
But little did we know their rain had just begun.

Believing we were safe we let our guard down
Now they are back and build a Starbucks in every town.


We’re told how to look how to dress how to behave
Will watch smiling people on TV corrupt and deprave us
Now we snap back and they will not force us
Forget about what you know what you think you know especially about the value of material possessions
They are only strategically programed desires and obsessions

A guilty conscience isn't cleansed by buying a new watch
Stress is not drowned by a five dollar cup of coffee
Your life is not completed when you buy that leather couch
We can write a new page in history carve another notch
We can peel the label of consumer off and finally be free
We as a generation will curse suppression and no longer slouch

Break away from advertising
Say no to the franchises
Become what you want to be
Not what the posters say you want to be
See yourself through your eyes not the TV screen

Blow it all up
Bring it down
Cry revolution
And resolution

We are nothing but consumers
This is thanks to our fat cat groomers

All is not all available
All is not all tangible
Do you feel free?
We breath in the illusion of freedom and choice and safety

Are politics, the markets, the earth or the human race in a state of obsolescence?

Give them money and they'll call you 'Honey'

So competitive
So greedy
So destructive
So needy
Too Dominant
So corrupt
Too abundant
So let us disrupt

Unavailable everywhere
Nothing for all and all for nothing

The human race can design a precise regimented organization, with many cells capable of operating completely independent of central leadership to sustain and prolong the life of our race.

"You are not special!"
People stood and shouted around me
As I sat and listened to other words of encouragement

"You are not special!"
People shouted trying to break free
As I sat and pondered my bodies torment

"The world around you is a lie!"
People clapped others cried
Not with sorrow but the joy of absolution

"The world around you is a lie!"
The man at the top of the room proclaimed
I listen and my duty as a being seemed to longer remain

There's nothing new out there
It's just TV reruns, reboots and reimagings, reborns and rewinds
There is no future just the past again
And again and again

The world is not as it seems
I've seen my life end a thousand times
In someone else’s prognostic dream

I have no name just a rank
As my years from home towered
My faith in humanity sank

When I commit suicide can it be said I died in battle?

I fear I am trivial
The last of mine kind
But I am not endangered because nobody cares

I see the world for how it is
Patterns, patterns within patterns repeated
A once unstoppable force now crippled and defeated

I do not morn or pity the dead
I envy them they're better off in my head
I'm the survivor but to what end?

When I commit suicide can it be said I died in battle?

My goldfish died, number three hundred and five
He was all I had in the world, he was my world
But I'll buy another bringing him back alive

I don't miss my family
I wasn't taught how
It isn't my fault I am cold and shallow

I've killed and saved
I've reassured those who'll never be cured
But when I'm dead I'll be called well behaved

But I'm the light of the world just more depraved

There's a secret I try to keep
I hold it in but don't lose sleep
As stress grows high
I let it slide
No need for pity in my sight

I'm on my own but no one knows

I'm living by my new found creed
My heart surpassed its zenith speed
My eyes are dry
But still I cry
I guess I'll watch and wave good bye

I'm on my own but no one knows

My mind is set for a nose dive
Check my pulse I'm still alive
Turns my insides wild
But still I smile
Is that the point of sacrifice?

I'm on my own but no one knows

There's nothing here to steer me straight
No words to help decide my fate
I'm ready to leave
Without a belief
About to use up number nine

I'm on my own here I go

Never doesn’t last very long

There is a place outside society
Where I want spend my residual years

There is a place outside religion
Where I want to worship my gods

There is a place outside art
Where I want to donate my heart

And maybe I'll be happy
Maybe I won't but it's better than this

There's a place where is doesn’t smell like teen spirit
Where people have got summer time happiness
As for identity, we transcend it.

Never doesn’t last very long

There's a place where outsiders go to fit in
There's a place where wannabes go to be an artist’s muse
There's a place where the devout go to sin
There's a place where protesters go to use
There's a place where individuals go to be the same
There's a place where fighters go to become lovers
There's a place that makes celebrity inane

I never want to be like that
I never want to fit in
I never want to be type cast
I never want to be a stereotype
I will never be what I don’t want to be

But

Never doesn't last very long

It's been a year since
The most selfish selfless
Thing was done

Tears will always fall in June

It's been twelve months since
The most ambitious lethargic call
Was send out

Tears will always fall in June

It's been three hundred and sixty five days since
The most agonising bliss
Was reached out for

Tears will always fall in June

It's been eight thousand seven hundred and sixty six hours since
The most remedying hindrance
Saved the life unwanted

Tears will always fall in June

I'm sad
And want to cry
I'm abnormal
And want to die

I've an illness that has broken me
I've an illness and I'll never, never, be free

Writers the happiest people on earth
How ****** up is that to say?
Art and delight are as same as night and day.
I'm sane because I scrawl my fight
That makes me laugh
I'm crazy

I'm crazy
My view on the world is hazy
I'm Manic
My morale machine is lazy

Lately it's quicker
Not enough for a design to birth
I want to be transparent
Isn't that apparent?
I guess I will be my own declarant
I'm inane because to harm I am prone
That makes me weep
I just want a soul to keep

Losing all hope was freedom
You think it's a diesease but
It gave me the confidence to breath
I sit alone in the malignant kingdom

Trying to hit bottom
I try to prolong this condition
Sturring in a boiling *** of contrition
Can't you see my new perpetual phantom?

I'm broken, nobody wants me
Lost in the senseless pages
My internal strom continues to rage
Sitting for days, hungry, in the oldest dragon tree

I'll wait for you, your beauty, so ageless
I'll wait for you atop our favourite tree
We can hold hands and for a second feel free
You make me feel priceless, when I know I'm worthless

I'm A Shamed (not ashamed)

I'm in a very weird mood today
I might **** myself
Or would that be seen as rude?
Maybe I'll just leave my heart on this shelf

Get out of my head I don’t need this
I want to survive but I cannot resist
The feeling of cold steel on my skin
Is too beautiful like the hug of a kin

I’m in a strange mood today
I might **** myself
Or is this just obscene
Maybe I’ll just place my soul of this shelf

Get out of my head I don’t deserve this
I want to fight but Santa Muerte I cannot resist
The feeling of euphoria is near it’s said
So let me lie in this infinite bed

I'd rather die soon
Than achieve nothing later
Oh God no I couldn't
I fear I'm no prognosticator

My mind is void of positive muse
I don't want to let you down
Oh God no I couldn't
But this ain't gold it's a dunce crown

Time is frightening
A true unstoppable force
Oh God no I couldn't
Pull it from its unkind course

Youth branded on my heart
Time etched in my sight
Oh God not I couldn't
Make a devilish deal to be infinite

The 'Tick Tock' is killing me
It's excruciating
Oh God no I couldn't
Bare to see another day it's berating

The greatest skill I've attained
Is convincing people I'm okay.
It's a peculiar feeling
I surely sense I'm beginning to fray

Life is a disease
I self-medicate with drugs and alcohol
Taunted by the constant reminder that
We are not special

Just another reason to
Retreat further into one’s self
Making a more secure asylum
For what comes back from where I delve

I was confident in my sadness
Given it's my only talent
Others saw it as Melancholy Madness
With it I felt twisted and gallant

Living in the narcissistic megalomania state
From vitriol there's no solace
A fluid everlasting berate
Every utterance drenched in malice

This is my everyday
It's not pretty but it's home
Is it truely better to burn out or fade away?
Anyway I'm used to being alone

She gazed as the sun retreated
Behind the distant mountains
Revived scars, her will power defeated
Little, if not none, remains

The steam rises up hugging her frame
Highlighting distanced, painful, memories
Door locked in fear and shame
But it won’t keep out her worst enemies

Trying to affirm that she could
Grabbing the knife with vitality
Crying an ominous red flood
The river of the misunderstood

Her intentions are altruistic
In her mind it's the sane option
Sadness that defies mystic
Impotent to endure the internal corruption

Not a matter of Life and Death
Like a star she's already gone
Sempiternal and bereft
Promise-less like a ghost of the dawn

One last breath she immerses herself in the water
It's not suicide it's exhumation
The minimal butterfly paid homage at the alter
Not her swan song but a ballad of elation

Come on doggies we can play
The Giver is gone now we have our say
Do what we want without a trick
(You are green but so unclean)
Come on doggies we can play

Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)

Come on doggies we can play
The Giver is gone now we have our say
Do what we want without a trick
(You are green but so unclean)
Come on doggies we can play

Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)
Sit back smoke me free (Freedom! Freedom!)

Fire the drums straight to my lungs

Hair waving like golden grass
A present grace that transcends this isolation
Skin flawless like priceless glass

Your lines instil envy in every artist
Blue eyes that reflect the peak of bliss
So humble you are but I must insist

Asking once upon your lips
How many times have you shied away?
I can't count how many trips

Conversations of give and receive
I fumble and mumble
Then silently leave

I return with the same mission
Forging courage for wisps of steam
I let fear take over and make my decision

Your beauty I daren't miss
So I shall not blink
As my soul suffers for that elusive kiss

Ardent girl some day I'll ask
For now I can only admire
And in your splendour I shall bask

Until the day when I find mettle

A beautiful begining to what I know will be my end
Beyond my reach is what I've heard society preach.
Can we go for coffee and talk about it?

You haven’t split
From my mind
You’ve helped me see I was blind
With your taste so refined.
A sin to say you’re defined.

Not an artist's rendition but a star in constant flux
I've discovered a whole new world and I am new.
I never expected to find someone like you
Not here not out there.

For too long I was ruled by fear
But a nicer sound has come my way and I don’t have to cover it up
I never thought I’d be this close to who I want to be

I covet the hideous cult of fame. Spending my days in despondent cafés manically scribbling passionate love letters to recognition.

I'm not in love I'm insane.

Suffering from self-diagnosed misunderstood artist syndrome. My heart cries silent. I am a shadow in the distance. Warped, distorted and dark I scream alone; never to be touched.

I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable then a bed.

I try to live in the now but the future petrifies me. I can't escape my own mind.

Y culture, My culture, Counter culture, **** culture, Love culture, Hate culture, Phonies.

I can’t see past the haze of disappointment I have designed myself. I smoke **** because it relaxes me, makes me feel like what I assume normality feels like. I drink because it makes me feel like how I assume those happy people feel. I take heroine because it makes me feel euphoric and takes me close enough to death that I want to live another day.

A brutal fear beats my anaemic mind. A peculiar fear grips my inner-self and I can’t bear to open my eyes and see that I had survived the night. I become saddened by the thought that I might also survive the day, living to see what I will be tomorrow.

Happy in the madness. Longing for that sick feeling. In love with the sadness. Searching in the dark recesses of the mind for inspiration. I can’t see past my fate, it’s too dark. I sit and source inspiration through the emotions and physical fits of *******. Self-abuse. Clawing for red gold in the catacombs that meander through my pale arms.

Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float.

I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable than a bed.

Relapse is fine by me. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. Not a tortured artist just tortured. Not a tortured soul just a cracked shell. In the name of art but in the corner of sickness.

Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float.