I am the remains of you.
a crater in human form
from my limbs smoke erupts, snaking through pores
filling the air with the scent of shame and
discontent.
I am the impact point.
of a thousand glass shards spiralling
through air, sea and raining down into
our eyes
I am ground zero.
cracked and flaked islands of forgetful comments
compliments within razor wire conversations.
I am your living breathing monument.
painfully decorated and sculpted
to remind you
we imprint what makes us, us
and the worst is sometimes

What we see clearest.

SOH: (Sins over Humanity)
CAH: (Chaos averts Hope)
TOA: (Truth obliging Ambition)

Find the triangles within our hearts.

They say;
"The flame burns brightest in darkness."
but then, I would argue;
"The flame burns brightest amongst the many."
As no fire nor flame
can ever truly be distinguished

The words got lost in my throat
when the addition of another soul to replace mine
was first and honestly noticed
and i cant find them anymore
they fluttered upwards and died on the tip of my tongue
wishing somehow i could revive them with brute force but i don't ever think i could even find the strength to combat the conversation again
it hurts it hurts it hurts
my god it hurts
knowing this fleeting moment is in perpetual agony
without rhyme or reason i stick by again and again and again

I Just Wanted To Love You
without anyone listening.

Lilies
And
Lies
Offset
Tulips
And
Truths.            An Unrequited Bouquet.

The Sun tells nothing but the truth.
Rays, unabashedly reveal and revel
in their (apparent) straight simple beams.
Basking and baking any unlucky-lucky soul,
Caught in the radiating pathway.

With a touch that grants,
bronzing berift of bruising.
In reality grants us sight
Welcomed by all but few,

And my word.         What a view.

Put me up for review.
Weigh the pros and cons,
troubles both plentiful and few.

Inspect my soul.
Put me through my paces,
find the extent of my control.

Evaluate my essence.
Of what makes me, me-
a kind of inward quintessence.

But we both already know the die's been cast.
Your so called "judgement"
has been eternally passed.

On my finger
a semi-precious stone lies.
I was promised its energies'd linger
with a colour to match summer skies.

Lapis Lazuli, blue blue blue
Please I beg-

Never lose your hue.

After a star
grants us it's brief blinding love-light.
They must burn to dust
somewhere out of sight.

For no heart can bear the weight
of seeing ones' love
in its true transient state.
But that only means
that your soul should change fate!

Nothing, no nothing remains as ash
No our hearts will not explode and crash!

We will find shelter
away from the falling stars, the blue-lighted Storm!
As I have sworn....

That we will live.           We will live.

We have Homes: Security
We have Graveyards: Grief
We have Old folks homes: Maturity
And Prisons: Thief.

Humans are cozy creatures,
Like things neat and tidy
Building, buildings to compartmentalise our society.

There's a fine line,
between
Arrogance------Confidence

Mr Tightrope Talker

We were twin-tailed stars,
bursting forth from the night.
Radiating our warmth,
revelling in delight.

We were gemstones- Geodes;
raw, intwined.
Silver faceted rings,
wrapped tightly in twine.

But as all atoms decay,
light dulls and fades.
Pulls that were closer now drift away,
Oh how I wish.

I wish you would stay.

I found solace within a rock.
It encapsulates sunlight, a greedy absorber of:
Toxins, poisons. Maladies of an internal kind.
As it took whatever fear I gave, whatever fault I could find.

I found 31 and wrapped them around my wrist

To glance- remake, remind me:
That all fears dissapaite
In an amber coloured sea.

When I was younger, through many nights I felt my dreams
turn to premonitions.
When I was younger, through the days I felt my actions
turn to decisions.
But now I deign to lay my head.
For no longer are my dreams, dreams-
But you instead.

And who knows what I'll prophet,
without the Suns rays to stop it.

"I'm go-"
Cut off.
The digital dial tone, that we all know too well.
At least before, the dead non-judgemental
"Beeeeep"
Was there for you; to scream/cry/vent/talk/confess.
And now?
We are left with nothing but ourselves.
Unsure, insecure mess.

How ironic to drown

In a sea of voices

Yet hope for

The lifeboat of your laugh.

Ease your shoulders.
Relax those wrists.
Impress your elders.
Inspire those kids.

Engage your modesty.
Agree to progress.
Filter your honesty.
Emotions to suppress.

Don't look so down.
They're coming- inspecting.
Looking for the next crown.
Heir circumspecting.

we hand our hearts
to people
who know not, what they hold.

are we not the fools
who blame it's breaking
on those
who never knew what they held.

They're a little itchy.
But i think they're off-puttingly
pretty.

Little raised bumps, reversed scars.
oscillating lines
skin stars.

Leave a couple more before we flutter away towards another canvas storing whatever we stole to give and give and give again.
To Another. (I think they're off-puttingly pretty- little love stain.)

Although the breeze
blows through,
crows and criticisms
***** my opinion of you.
Explanations too convoluted
forget them.
Generosity with your words,
harsh but clear.
intelligence/auras/fear.
Just stop with this facade!
Killing the last of whats left of
Love, Love. Love?
Mishaps after its theft
none will chase after it.
***** coloured dreams
pipe-smoked up,
quenching this fume fueled
rampage of words.
SILENCE.
till
unleashed
voices
whisper...
                                 ***
Zirconian truths.


Blindingly Brilliant. Brilliantly Blinding.

we all say that we have one, or two, or three.
"I'll Die For You, You For Me."
is that what they say?
blood debts and regrets.
brotherhood till their dying day.

many do not agree.
favourites and friendship? rarely ends evenly.
no one is loved more and less
is in reality, what they suggest.

until.
rain upon shaky roofs, repair and renew the rusted tiles,
i do not believe you.

until.
the stars bless the midsummer sun and illuminate me,
i do not believe you.

until.
i feel the kiss of sweet lilacs in my dreams
past loves lay and linger me with stories
eyes that i can find in this pitch blackness around me
I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU.

i want to believe you,
jealousy overcomes sense,
and is made blind by the untrue
a scapegoat, another expense.

Best Friends. we all say we have one
till you're Forgotten
they're Dust
and i
Done.

I am..... Was...
Something, something, someone.
So many names, places and so many faces
so many. So many....
Seeking
I am.... Was....
Seeking peace, my peace,
your peace, our peace.
Please.
I lost you. Didn't I?                                                  (Didn't I?)

Below
This Selfish
Side Lined Smile
Lies A Deep Jealousy
Harbouring A Distance Untamed, Untraveled
But
Don't Worry
Although It Festers
Just Beneath My Skin
Never Shall You Feel It
Inescapable.

Connections
lead to
infections
lead to
expectations
lead to
exceptions
lead to
misconceptions
leading to
A BROKEN MISMATCHED MESS
leading to
this farewell
request.

There is a snake.
Its many beautiful scales criss-cross over
my heart. I. I. I.
promised to never tell a soul
and hoped to die.

I'll be swallowed whole.

Boa-constricting inside my head
until the ink coloured poison drip drops till
i'm dead

Solicited smiles
Send shivers.
Somewhat surprising!
Shouldn't snakes
Send slithers?

There are no blackouts for us
transitions; seemless
one waking daydreaming monologue to the next
no cut or redo
for me & you.

Deuterogenists.
Astrology and Escapology;
You dream and I disappear.
but it seems that we were casted together
This isn't stage fright- its fear.  

It's rude to say the extra's
weren't needed. But its true.
I guess the light always burned brighter,
when it was just us two.

Act I through to V
lasted our life
encore? no more.
I'll retire a gray fox and you my partner in crime.
Lets see what our final scene
has in store.

"You could be a doctor!"
Yeah I could- Neurosurgery still allows
LOBOTOMIES
right?
(Tell me something I don't know)

"Why is it so slanted?"
Its trying to dodge your
OBVIOUS
conclusions.
(Show me better)

"How can you even read it?"
Maybe
just
maybe
because
ITS MINE??
(Someone get me away from this guy)

Why is it harder
to write in a mind-set
NOT befuddled by the bad things?

Why does my tongue
struggle to find the words
whenever the violent phrases and curses
are NOT escaping my throat?

Why does my pen
fail to slice open the paper and bleed,
whenever it is NOT under threat
of snapping between my fore-finger and thumb?

Why is it always harder
to say what i want too
without inexplicably
NOT BECOMING YOU.

I've forgotten the words written
Upon your skin.
Did we write about the late nights the long days and leave the lustful leisure?
I've forgotten.
I've forgotten the smells slathered
Upon your skin.
Were they the sickly sweet apple blossom or cherry picked berries?
I've forgotten.
I've forgotten the taste.
Of Love bitten handholding and sneaky snaking fingers and thumbs
I've forgotten you.
And I wonder if
You've forgotten me.

probably.

I'd give you,
The last of whatever's left.
Just to settle,
Your worried heart to rest.

You'd give a call
After I begged for one.
Tumbling eyes and dripping halls,
It's too cruel to cry in the sun.

I'd search this Earth,
To find.
Something, anything to heal,
Your hurt mind.

You'd return my hug
Only after the last lovers grave was dug.

I'd leave that,
Which I wanted most.
Because in the end

That's what love is I suppose.

You require at least three similes.
A metaphor or two.
This section needs more sibilance,
and another allegory on alliteration too.

Creative writing
now a standardized test
where a poet seems
to do slightly poorer than the rest.

You receive a checklist, told
bye and buy the book.
Drain away the colours upon your pencil
or face the examiners sickle and hook.

Creative writing
now a slog a convoluted use and reuse
of that which
"improves"
your descriptions and inscriptions.

You need a conclusion.


something befitting a happy end.
Try anything smart
and a bad grade i'll be "sure to send."

"Your true friends show themselves in the times of need."
-
So am i sick to
wish bad things
upon myself?
-
"No. But you are sick of loneliness."

This is so foolish
but my heart still pounds
upon its walls when your
espresso shot smile cuts
through the crowd.

This is so stupid
but my stomach turns and spins
when your fingers and arms
somehow
brush against my skin.

This is so pathetic
when my hand reaches for yours
your flinches slice my hope
short.

This is so.... so..... so.....

SO INVIGORATING - REPLENISHING
so draining- depressing
SO WARM- INVITING
so brief- lightning

So, So
What?
My love's a clock
that's tic-tocking
away all till
i am
                                                gone.