People say hatred is wrong

That it means you're as bad as the very one you hate

But I beg to differ

Why can't I hate her for torturing me as a child

And trying her very best to make me sad

Why can't I hate him for doing the very same

For doing anything he can to made me feel pain

Just because he can't hurt himself enough

I've grown to hate myself

And as bad as that is

I just can't stop

I've grown up with such a toxic set of siblings

I might as well be the first to go

That's what they've always wanted

When they tried to strangle me

I still remember how it felt

When they wrapped their hands around my neck

It hurt

I tried to hide my feelings
By dating another girl

That was dumb and it didn't work
Because you're the only one I see

I can't hide my feelings
So I'll just stop trying

I'll tell you any chance I get
That you look wonderful

I'll tell you anytime I can
That you are wonderful

I'll make it so well known
That you're my one and only

I can't look at anyone else
The same way I look at you

You're one of a kind
And I wish I could give you the world

You are so close
Yet so far

So, I won't hide my feelings
I'll yell them to the world

In a peaceful voice
That only you can hear

You are my best friend
But I wish you were more

I can wait.

I went into this thinking it would be slow
I never knew that I would quickly grow
To become so successful and mature
In the wonderful, beautiful art of theatre

Competition went by so quickly
And I got better and became more witty
It was rough and it was painful
It felt like I was being weighed down by an anvil

Then came the biggest competition
The very one I never thought I'd compete in
I was only an alternate
But that was a fate that I was happy to have met

I knew from the start that one way or another
My success would turn into a world of blunder
Sure, I have three more years
To learn to hide my pain and tears

I'm just a failure.

She’s mean
She’s annoying
She’s god awful

But she’s my sister
So I’ll only complain

I'm sick of being clean.
I feel like I'll slip up any moment.
Maybe now is that moment.
I'm sorry.
But I just can't take it anymore.
I need to feel pain.
I deserve to feel pain.
I know I promised I would come to you.
I promised I would talk to you instead.
I promised I would stay clean.
But little did you know,
That I was lying.
I'm laying in my own dirt.
And I'm sorry.

The word emo is used to describe someone who dresses dark and scary.
Or someone who hurts themself.
For me, it’s a word I use to describe my real emotions.
Emo = emotion
I am “emo” because I am emotional.
Sure, I joke around a lot.
I make fun of my own emotions.
I call myself emo just because I like wearing black.
But there’s a reason why I wear all that black.
I’m too afraid to be happy.
I’m don’t deserve to wear color.
I feel like I should always be grieving.
I feel like I don’t deserve happiness.
Why would I?
I always feel guilty for what happened back in the seventh grade.
I could’ve done more.
I could’ve been more useful.
That’s a lie.
I’m useless.
Worthless.
A terrible person.  
The point is that I am the original emo.
Not because I wear black.
But because I am emotional.
Does that make me human?
No.
It just makes me sad.
That’s as plane as it gets.
I’m just sad.

I thought that I should try

To rhyme another rhyme

But all I can think instead

Is I just want to go to bed

I had a dream
That she noticed me
That she smiled
And told me she’d walk a mile
If it meant that we could talk
And walk
Together

But then that dream
It went into a horrible something
When she didn't come to school
For a whole week

Let me just say
I was terrified
To think that the girl I
So desperately want
Was going through something
That makes her sad

I begged and pleaded
To every god I know
To just let me take her place
To let me deal with the pain
So she can smile again

It isn't fair
That she has to experience
Something that takes her smile away
The beautiful smile that I look forward
To seeing everyday
When I get to school

She is beauty, she is grace
And she has the most beautiful face
Personality
Abilities
And talents

What I wouldn't give
To sneakily hold her hand
Under the cover
Of a blanket we could share

For now I'll settle with the subtle flirting
And looking at each other
With those stupidly cute love eyes

I want to give her those love eyes

I guess I'm just a chaser

But I'm a chaser of a beautiful girl

Who doesn't deserve me

I always have to work so hard for everything.
My money
My average grades
The parts in plays
And the hardest thing of all:
My happiness

Shouldn't we just be given happiness?
I guess not
Because I never just get it
I always have to earn it

****, it's hard to earn

I am so drained
Emotionally and physically
It's hard to keep my head up
Especially when I can't earn you

You are the only thing
The only person
That just gives me happiness
Like I've already earned it

Thank you.

Thank you for my happiness
And for the hilarious fights we have
And for the times we spend together
Even if you don't know how much it means to me

Just thank you
For not making me earn it.

Thank you.

I love flowers
They smell nice.
I love showers
They feel kind.

I love anime
It's really worth wild.
I love music
It can last a while.

I don't love sadness
It makes me cry.
I don't love death
Why do people have to die?

I can't stand hatred
It makes me  follow suit.
I can't stand darkness
Though I drown in it like a recluse.

But right now I'm happy
Like the Doctor when he said something clever.
I'm so happy
That I gave it a name: Trever

The pain and fear
The constant knowing
I'm not who I want to be

People view me differently
They see the old me
The dead me

It hurts
I feel it
I feel all of it

I just want it to stop
I want to be ready
Ready to tell everybody

I'm not who you thought I am
I'm not who you have always known
I'm so, so very different

I can't bring myself to sat it
The very words I want to say the most
The three words that could most definitely change everything

I've always been so confident in myself
My decisions have never been for nothing
They have never been something of regret

But this time is hard
My friends will understand
But will everyone else?

I have to say it
I have to say
I have to
I have
I

I
Am
Trans

Labels are a lie
A way to communicate
A way to tie yourself down
To a specific word in time

Gender is one form of labels
It's not real
It's just a word
A form of communication

Why do we give in to these labels?

Simple.

Words are powerful
They are wonderful
They are evil
They are real

Gender is not real

But the words are

So ask yourself this:

"What's my label?"

Depression
"It's not real."
"It's all up to you how you feel."
"You're so problematic."
They're all wrong.
Depression is real.
As real as you.
As real as me.
As real as the thing you love the most.
Depression doesn't make you sad.
It makes you afraid.
Of happiness.
Of sadness.
It makes you tired of feeling.
I'm tired of feeling.
I'm tired.