"shoulds" poems
Independence .. From the shoulds and shouldn'ts
Independence .. I'm thirsty to explore
My soul yearns to sail at sea .. My body chains me to the shore
Chains are only people .. Only minds afraid to look
And I .. I slowly start liberating from the rules in their book
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 1:46 PM UTC
She is a natural disaster
confused and misunderstood
waiting on the promise you made
to help clear up
the hurricanes, tsunamis,
forest fires, the floods,
the self doubt, the grief,
the regrets, the 'shoulds'.
she is a natural disaster.
and you promised you'd be there after
to pick up the debris and aftermath,
to sweep away, the damage, the ash,
to help her dig amongst the rubble
and find and rediscover her smile, her laugh
to help her decipher between the
good and the trash
to help her crumble and then reconstruct
to help her rebuild
stronger foundations
than those laid
in her childhood.
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 7:47 AM UTC
I don't want to be depressed anymore.
The shoulds and woulds
All wrapped up in why did he
And how could she.
Eating slowly at the bonds I've formed
With people.
Human beings that are doing their best
But never good enough for me,
For perfection.
I'd rather be dead.
I don't want to be upset anymore
With the strangers on the bus
In their garb of business and ***
That they speak with boisterous joy
They should be considerate of me
And speak louder to drown out my thoughts.
Maybe I could drown them out on my own.
I want to be content
Because I want to do the dishes and use them
I want to ***** the floors and wash them again,
I want to see the beauty in a teapot and the joy in a
soft pillow
To see what it is to comfort a weathered soul.
I want to uphold routine.
I want to be happy
Because I love to feel alive
And I love to feel in love.
I love to love you and I want to do that for me
And maybe you'll do it for you too.
I want to sit with you in silence
And discuss soda in the coffee shop,
I want to look at you and cry
In gratitude
The only thing I can feel for you
And I know I will.
I want to live a life,
Because I want to be alive.
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 19, 2013 at 11:03 AM UTC
elephants stomping on my head
laugh as they draw blood
fragmented ideals scatter in the wind
as trampled dreams mix with dust
cemented in 'supposed to'
hiding behind other people's 'shoulds'
jackhammer disappointment
crushes bones with broken boundaries
play me a song
to make it look pretty
and I'll pretend to dance
with you in foggy yesterday's
karaoke soundtracks
to a stranger's tears
that leave the heart blind
tripping acid just to see in forgotten colors
breathing bacteria
from the soles of shoes
wiped on my forehead
as they said, 'hello'
a mosaic of skull puzzles
grouted in the remnants of the ****
left behind as everyone
just walks away
shadows smell clean in dark corners
where colors are left to die
in clouds of expectation
leaving truth buried in the ruble
...of who they thought I was
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 6:30 PM UTC
Did you think about me
When you walked into the woods
Did you think about your family
Or only of the shoulds?
Knife in your hand
Did you think about how life isn't fair?
Ready to take your stand
Did you not think your kids would care?
Blade to your stomach
Did you feel the pain?
Already making your summit
Was my love just in vain?
Blade to your chest
Did you stutter at all?
Did you realize you were committing theft?
Then you began to fall
Blade to your wrist
Did your life flash before your eyes?
Not even for a split
Second, did you think about how we would cry?
Blade to your neck
How did you do it?
You turned our lives awreck
Then you made the final slit
As you laid on the ground
As your blood soaked that leaf
Did you make a final sound?
Or were you content with your relief?
As we searched in the woods
We prayed for you
And we thought of the coulds
Our heart turned blue
Then we got the news
They found your body
People began to accuse
Us of your death, oddly
Time went by
And our grief remained
Now we look to the sky
Whenever you are named
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 10:02 PM UTC
090116
Lies, shame; innocence ruined
Feeling exposed? Uncovered?
Shame & blame, are a constant theme;
Shame came about,
As a direct result of sin.
That evil twin notion of shame,
That good twin notion of shoulds,
Both are responses to the same root problem.
Inner character, God can truly see;
And those stifling atmosphere
Of work, duty, & expectations
All have nothing to do
With the heart of God.
We tremble in shame,
Wrapped in a sheet or a shift;
But we're a lot closer to salvation now
Than once we're in all our finery.
We're naked in our sins
'Til Jesus died and rose again!
To clothe us in righteousness
Rather than with layers of works & legalism.
Human efforts are so uncomfortable;
It's difficult, useless, and endless work
Of clothing ourselves in a spiritual sense.
But when we admit our need for Him,
In His righteousness & grace,
We can truly rest!
Let us not slip into a place
A place of spiritual nakedness & shame.
Come back now,
Fling open the door of every heart,
For we base our hopes on healing
On what is real, not on how we feel.
Now we plant seeds of redemption
Forget shame, receive lavish blessings
How could such a wonderful thing possibly happen?
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 3, 2016 at 8:50 PM UTC
Shoulds
Have horns
And ram reindeer with
Thistle bush antlers
I grow
From the seeds of others
Leaf green
As lilac winter tells me.
And the advice of others
Protects
Culpability from
The mouth of a sweet whisper.
Shoulds
Grow fangs
And live in dark forests
I know this to be their opinion.
I live
Longer longings
I rise
With every new day
And they, are still there
Dressed in soft leather,
Stirring teas and
Ready to tell me paths ahead
Predicting the worst weather
Without knowing the storm
They condone.
Advice.
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 8:23 PM UTC
Wearied by choice
I deny that I make
as simple and complex
as time give and take
Blame love
my cravings
my duty my shoulds
Passions the seasons
there's no lack of reasons
when drama is over
I know once again
I bring it all to me
in all the disguises
I'm playing my games
and I choose my prizes
Jul 27, 2012
Jul 27, 2012 at 11:20 PM UTC
How nice it would be
if all Beauty was free and homesteads
were home to all
no honking horns or voice raised issuing rampant scorns
to pass unfiltered through the innocent ears of children
but then again... nothing is perfect except for..
. maybe thunder
for it is the loud, proud voice of perfection
rolling or booming never assuming to be what it is not
like the voice of God
As it was described in those scriptures told
in the verses of old
so with each clap
Of lightning created sound
we either jump or smile
As we know it brings
A needed refrain
of nourishing rain
there is nothing sweeter than
walking in the rain
of autumn
for the leaves paint
the ground all around and happiness abounds
it's a promise of relaxing winter husband starting fires both of heat and desires
While mother share secrets with daughters both shoulds and not aughters ha!
But such is the way it has been
from time immortals very beginning
and should continue to be
as long as....
God's Great Earth keeps on spinning !
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 8:55 AM UTC
There are white streaks
in her hair
on your arm
in his blood vessels
between the lines I say and don't say
below the dark sea
above the "you" and the "me"
See them or don't
won't you unveil
prevail
re-sell this vision of adulthood
with all it's woulds and shoulds
with all it's white streaks:
where you are just a "hi"
and I am just a good "bye"
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013 at 11:30 PM UTC
Shoulds't i venture out
Into the wet cooling wind
To feel the rain
Moisten my bare legs
And as the wind blows
Through my wild skittish hair
The silver globules
Disguise my tears
The damp briskness
Will awaken my emotions
Will let me
Feel alive
The clammy cloudy clouds
Leaking gently
Feeding
A thirsty nature
The wind
May blow away
My shrouded
Emotions
The slow drip, drop
Silver rivers
Their under bellies
Belie, race downwards
Upon my window
Trickles
Like sticky tears
Gluey opalescence
by Jemia
Jun 6, 2021
Jun 6, 2021 at 4:36 PM UTC
Shhhh, there's no hurry,
nowhere we have to be
there'll be time,
later,
to be stuck in traffic,
dishes piled in the sink
will be done
all the shoulds that shake us down
shush them
rock them in your arms
it'll be okay, it'll be okay
even when it isn't
May 30, 2017
May 30, 2017 at 4:17 PM UTC
Sometimes life is quiet, don't push.
There are no 'shoulds'.
Peace is inner silence,
Be still and listen to the
Quiet whisper of your soul.
She is powerful in her silence.
No need to make noise to be seen
No need to make show to be heard
Get in there, deep inside
And rest in the dance.
Know your flow that
Bubbles and burbles along.
Don't be clever, simple is good.
Simple is quiet.
She is sleeping in the shade,
Your inside self.
She who dances to the song
In your heart is quietly listening
To the rhythm of your soul beat.
Cradle your knowing,
Your hearts lullaby will
Rock your soul and
Fan the fire of sleeping passion.
Come little one your feet
Have wings that angels envy
And your eyes closed to darkness
Sparkle like a galaxy of stars
On a moonlit sea.
Come, rock gently, rest.
Sometimes life is quiet
Don't push or pull.
Listen to the hum of the silence
Be still, let HER dance.
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 6:42 AM UTC
Is hard to sleep when the mind keeps screaming
Instead of dreaming it's choosing to blur the reality a little more
Brimming with shoulds and should nots
Couldn't and could've been
But we would not succumb
Replaying the same memory of the second defeat so we don't morph into an headless hero
Ones and zeroes bounce restless in relentless persuite of the truth
You're a hero even if your greatest feat is not flinging yourself off the cliff
Everyone wants to fly but once in sky
You'll be dying to land and you land too hard you die
You're trying too hard you're not trying hard enough
Which one is it, do we take the next step of giveup
The next step is breathing
So vote maybe?
But it isn't so bad if you look closely
We're not alone but a bit lonely
In a crowd going about discredited the happening
Cutting off the threads, we can't move we're just dangling
The one thing, out if pills of sanity
Spring from attachment
We now have chose between two addictions
We'd rather be free and starve than be behind bars
So we let go
We exist at extremes
They exist in middle
We meet twice everytime
Graze by each other
A bit of refill of regret
A living reminder
We can't sleep
Can't shake the fright
The voices are back in the house
They're looking for a fight
We might let them win this time
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 11:51 AM UTC
Soft flakes are held aloft while drifting down
to keep those splendid structures quite intact;
Then up from pavement–piling on firm ground–
they halt all urban bustle in its tracks;
Strong plows have tried their best to push snow back,
but once this weather starts I’ve lost control;
It’s time to settle in, hear branches crack
and with my quilts and ***** I'll fight the cold.
How odd that every day has such a hold,
hurling the musts and shoulds with all its might,
until those tiny flakes conspire to scold
nice days for their mad toil and grant respite:
Sometimes it takes the ice and slush outside
to truly feel the warmth from which I hide.
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 5:59 PM UTC
Black boxes.
Smell of delicate decay
like kindling first catching fire.
Pigeons bathing in the gutter
glitter and iridescent feathers
covered in the banal bile of boys,
their insides strewn on the ground.
Fire ant mound,
stepping on those was my childhood.
Coulds and woulds and shoulds
creating those is my adulthood.
Apr 8, 2013
Apr 8, 2013 at 9:40 PM UTC
Three a.m.,
Friday morning,
Haunting, wake in bed.
Just like always,
Who could possibly satisfy the yearning,
when oranges and coffees are bad?
Sweaty fingers,
Burning toes,
Covers hide me, from their pointless lows,
My laughing while crying, moaning,
Yes, I do quite enjoy,
Misery-filled could, would shoulds.
Open one eye,
Too hard,
Close again,
Don’t move,
Not an inch,
Not surely or slowly,
No one shall me remove,
When they whisper words into your head,
Who knew, rock bottom, would be so exciting, tranquil and new?
Their footsteps gave up,
Knocking no more,
Pulling no more,
Begging no more,
For I broke their view of beauty,
When my moods were indeed moody.
Hello?
Now loud, unrestrained and clear.
Slow start, swift prance no more
Johnny’s holding me, forever and always,
Protecting me from,
All you ************* culpable cowards.
Dec 19, 2012
Dec 19, 2012 at 6:21 AM UTC
I graze now
boarding schools
of the highest
and utmost
quality
I want to run away
I want to start a new life
I want to create a new me,
in a new place,
in a new
world
I have reached the highest
point I can ever reach here
where can I go beyond this?
I’ve exhausted the resources
of my friends;
I’ve climbed the rungs of
power in theatre, poetry,
leadership;
I’ve created a society of
lies to protect myself and
hide myself from the truth
of the world, even as the
truth of my personality
slowly eats away at my
innards until I am hollow
and whistle in the wind
I do not take this act lightly,
I do not take abandoning my
friends,
my many years of work,
my reputation, good and bad.
I do not want to take what
I am away, but,
for my own sake,
I must
I deserve a new start,
a fresh start,
where I can be
whoever I want to be
I was gypped out of this opportunity
by birth, by my stable and even life
lived in only three houses, by my
poor luck to be so lucky, as to have
as good a life as I have been blessed
I do not complain about that
I complain about the jealousy
it boils in me for those people
whose parents are infirm and
irresponsible;
who are dragged from place
to place, never setting down
deep roots, by their owners;
who are given the opportunity
to be constantly dynamic whilst
my only option is to flounder
amongst a static tank
I am pained
by all this
by all this hate,
I have for the things
I love
by all these contradictions,
of the shoulds and
should-nots
by me,
showing, for once,
my human side
I cannot make sense
of the why’s and
the how’s
that my brain has
concluded thus
that I should move,
forget my past,
and start
anew
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 27, 2011 at 5:45 PM UTC
I glaze a look at the street, from
our apartment window.
You are coming slowly, teetering
one leg in front other, with back slightly hunched forward,
burdened with sleepless nights and yesterday’s undones.
Vibrant spirit once you had is lost, tossed among crowded
train wagons, useless meetings and broken deadlines.
One vein in the left corner of your forehead, swells, pulses in the rhythm
of your dark, fuddled thoughts as unremitting, sprouting baldness
reflects evening lights.
Still, I smile,
for you are here, with me in all this madness
we call life, half diced with wants and haunts that braid
every tomorrow we greet together.
I would like to put you in a different frame, picture of
nor “Yeses” nor “Nos”,
just us, being us, each moment celebrating
without lamenting for what “ifs” or “shoulds” and “coulds”.
Still, I smile,
as I watch you battle your restless leg syndrome,
wrestling to sooth demanding expectations,
lifted bars for higher remunerations, in constant marathon
of best comparison,
for you care, you dare.
I take your hand with eyes of approval,
life’s ****** and gigolette,
ready to play each day’s illusive roulette.
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 5:23 AM UTC
Deep tensions draw the shoulds and hold so much
While hells are made from can’ts and still-might-be’s
With magic care great weeds and blooms are ******
Upon real earth, no final fantasies
What does she owe herself and so the rest?
I strain to view but maybe it’s unclear
Though few embraced those true but hollow jests
well hewn from mind as sharply filled with fear
For needling help the price of scars she paid
She brought them forth, in love she did enlist
Defying self, unworthy world was stayed
Creating joy in order to exist
And now to hold us, tend the garden too
Is what we all need mothers' hands to do.
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 1:31 AM UTC
Torrents of rushing crowds,
Blankets of noiseless sound
Hidden under the lush, lush breeze,
Riding the scent of fallen trees
Swarming round all of panic
Drowning out all of the pain
Hoping for recognition,
Knowing someone knows your name.
Sinking in cracks of the famous
Living in dust of the bold
Shadowing lights of the lime
Learning it’s never your time.
Etching your name in the skyline
Reaching but falling so short
Walking when you should be crawling
The ball never lands in your court.
Trying to follow the river
Straining to the see the bright star
Always living up, up in the coulds
But hidden under the cold cut shoulds
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012 at 12:04 AM UTC
I shouldn't love you like this. I shouldn't remember the thoughts running through my head during our first kiss. But I do. I remember how nervous I was, but how I couldn't seem to pull away when you hugged me and kissed my neck. How cute it was when you laid your head in my lap and watched tv. Like it was normal.
I won't become addicted to the feel of you. The way you try to kiss me when I'm mad. When your breaths become deeper and I hear the faintest moan when I know you're ready for me.
I can't leave like this. It's only been 4 months and i wake up with my head in the clouds. And to some that's crazy, young, temporary, unreasonable, and a million other negative adjectives calling me stupid. But to me it's love because love is unexpected. You trade in the "I shouldnts" the "I wonts" the "I cants" for the we wills, the we shoulds and the we cans.
I don't know if we ever will, if we'll ever be able to, if we'll ever get our chance. But I can't regret anything because you taught me that you find the most perfect things when you stop looking.
Aug 20, 2012
Aug 20, 2012 at 12:13 AM UTC
Some like to live by following lists
To decide what's good enough,
Trusting the rules, the "shoulds" and ideals,
Not heart, intuition or gut.
Rulebooks and list have a time and place,
A purpose, a reason, a use,
But if unhappy we aren't let down
We just list another excuse.
"He's so nice, I must be wrong,
This job should be my dream."
Following lists can lead to smiles
But they won't make you beam.
To find your own fulfillment,
Don't follow a recipe,
Or assume it is one size fits all,
Don't take your happiness lightly.
So yes, you can follow a guide
Of where you think you should go,
You can settle for things that make you content
Or wait for what makes you glow.
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 10, 2017 at 5:52 PM UTC