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Empire 1h
I have to satisfy my demons
Or else they get restless
They don’t like it
When I ignore them
When I deny them
It makes them yell louder
It makes them more cruel
So I go somewhere safe
And cry
And scream
And break
Until I have, for now
Satisfied the demons
Empire 1h
I meditate on my pain
Simmer in my failure
Drink in my sickness
Torture myself with memories
Until I smile
Because I did it
I made myself feel something
I’m so broken; what could it hurt?
Empire 1h
Don’t leave me
Here alone
With myself
I’m abusive
I’m dangerous
I’m ill
When I’m alone
It all rushes in
I don’t know what’s happening
It fills me with darkness
And lies
And I want to be alone
To wallow in it
Because it won’t be ignored
But I have to when you’re here
I stuff it down deep
And it begs to be released
It screams for recognition
I don’t want to let it out
But I don’t want to hide it
I don’t know what to do
It makes me so confused
I can’t think straight
I don’t know if I ever have
Or if I ever will
  1h Empire
I was hurting, suffering
From a pain so great,
That words, screams and tears
Were not enough.

So I danced,
And danced
Until my feet bled,
Until I was breathing so hard
That it burned my lungs.

It felt good.
That pain felt comforting.
Normal. I understood it.
It let me know I was alive still.
And so I welcomed it.

For it was nothing compared
To the one that I felt inside.
The one that was invisible,
Yet suffocating me with its presence.
The one I tried to ignore,
But seemed to never leave.

Always stalking me,
Hiding in the shadows
Waiting for its moment.
A moment of weakness,
Of solitude or sadness.
  2h Empire
Melissa S
The light inside left me for a bit
I found it one night when I truly needed it
Lately I have been in the in between
I've felt like diving head first in the deep end
Where no one can see me to hurt me
drown out the surface
drown out my worthless
Then come back up from the bottom down
Empire 2h
I don’t feel it much
But when I place my hand
On my bed
And my puppy
Sleepy, fluffy, innocent
Curls up around it
She passes on to me
A bit of her tranquility
I think I need a cup of tea
Empire 2h
I want to mourn
For all of me that died
So much of me died
All that’s left is this shell
Remnants of a person
I want to mourn
Because it hurts
I think
I wouldn’t know
Because I chose to silence it
Intervention in my death
I stopped dying
But I wasn’t revived
Just not dying
And now here I am
Not dying
But I’m so dead
And I can’t mourn
I can’t make the tears come
Because of that little white circle
I place on my tongue at night
It kept me from dying
But I’m not better
Just paused
I can’t mourn
All of me
That I lost
I might have had a panic attack.
My hands are still shaking.
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