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Empire Oct 4
I think... I think I prefer it
Just... saying I’m alone
Because the truth...
It’s far more painful...
I’m surrounded by people
They see me
They speak with me
And they just don’t care
They treat me poorly

So... I guess... it’s just...
Easier
To forget they exist
And pretend
I’m alone
Empire Oct 3
How naive of me
To think it would be so simple
It would just
Go away

Take the pills
Talk monthly
You’ll be fine
You’re fine
It’s fine
I’m fine...

But c’mon
Did you think it would all just be over?
That didn’t just happen
There’s something in your head
Something’s wrong
You haven’t fixed it
Just calmed it
Set it aside

But it’s returning
It’s found a way out
It will swallow you whole
It wants you dead
Empire Oct 3
I want you to watch
Watch me
Watch as I hurt
Watch as I abuse myself
‘Cause I don’t really care anymore
I’ll open my wrists
I’ll exhaust my heart
Burn out my mind
I’ll empty my stomach
I’ll tremble with weakness

I want to stumble and fall
I want you to catch me
Prove you care
Prove you’re there
Beg me to stop
Take the temptation from my hand
Share my burdens
Because I can’t bear them anymore
Not alone

Stay my hand
Take the blade
When I’m too weak to let it go
Tend to my wounds
Take away my chemicals
The ones I use to hide
Because you want to see me
Not my masks
Because you care
You want to care for me
You know I’m no longer capable

I want to be weak
I want to be ill
Starving
Shaking
Bleeding
Dying
And I want you
To care
Empire Sep 29
i wanna savor the stinging sensation
the itchy pain on my left wrist
where my watch will return
to cover it all up

ah but the moment... the rush...
tempting the blade... tracing its paths...
then... without decision or thought
i'd made a mark
and once i'd started....
suddenly two... three... four red lines filled in

i lost count...

but i just wanna sit here
in the pleasure of the pain
and drink in the image
of the red on my left wrist
Empire Sep 29
can't think
read
hear
my mind... it's..... it's buzzing
no thought
just static
perfectly focused
on the lovely blade
dancing around my fingertips
i'm dizzy
anticipation?
excitement?
fear?
i don't care
it feels nice
i'm not thinking
but... the desire
it calls the blade back
to my delicate, smooth wrist
and i haven't decided yet
if i wanna fight
Empire Sep 29
Look at me
See me
What’s there in my eyes?
You see it don’t you?
Yes...
You sigh heavily
Your facing dropping
You’re sad... hurting
Because you see what’s there
In my eyes
We stand a distance apart
So you close the gap
Wrap your strength around my weakness
Your arms around my shoulders
You pull me close
Like you don’t wanna lose me
Like you’re afraid you might
Cradle my head against your chest
And let me stay for a while
Safe... warm... in your embrace
Hold me until I remember
You’d care if I was gone
Because what you saw there
Within the depths of my eyes
Was their blue fading grey
A dying flame
Hopelessness and sorrow
Thinly veiled misery
You knew something was wrong
You cared to look past the veil
And you knew....
You knew what emptiness lived within
And you hoped
That even for a moment
You could offer me peace
Why don’t you exist...
I just want to be held...
Empire Sep 29
I don’t want to be alone anymore
I thought I did
I thought I needed it
But it would seem
That every moment spent alone
The darkness gets a better grip
I just... I just want to be cared for
I need a comforting presence
Strong and steady
Secure but soft
Gentle... loving
Just... please...
I-I need to feel loved
I need someone here
Because being alone
May be my demise
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