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I found life modelling
As an easy choice to make
As easy
As my gender reassignment surgery
Both choices
Were mine to make
I did not choose
To find my mother dead
To have a heart attack
To be beaten to a pulp
On at least five occasions
One included two snooker ***** in a sock
Repeatedly beaten over the head
To be in a car crash at 70mph
To be repeatedly punished as a child
To go to fourteen different schools
T o be bullied at most of the
As a new kid
To live in constant fear of violence
To be so sensitive, but glad i was
Although at first
Felt it was a curse
But later realised it was my strength
I realised
And expected little more
That many people
Were like seagulls
Randomly ******* on you
But now
I'm learning to trust people again
I have met lots of butterflies
That float with you
As you glide along
In the breeze together
The angst
Still rears up sometimes
But it is an anagram of gnats
And sometimes
Like gnats
It bites

by Jemia
My pen
Lay in my bed
We had slept together
No words were spoken
As we made love
As an ****** of ink
Onto the ****** white paper
Written off
Cast aside
As words
Leaked out
Of this ******* quill
Tickled by its feathers

by Jemia
Being a life model
Is like conducting
An orchestra of artists
Their various sketching materials
At the ready
As i remove my gown
I become
An silent, unmoving conductor
My stillness, and poise
Is their direction
Then the music begins
As the various scratchings
On paper
Pick up the vibrancy
Of the shape
That lies, sits, or stands
Before them.
As i become their muse
Their match strike
As it flares up
As their flare of creativity begins
I remain oblivious
Of their interpretations
Of my naked self
Simply considering
Can i remain still
For the required time
And what pose
Can i proffer next
As i contemplate
And consider
One move ahead
It's like a obscure form
Of time travelling
As the orchestra
Play to the rhythm
Of their present
My brush
Is my pen
As the artists
Become my muse
Thank you

by Jemia
A flirtatious wind
Lifted up my skirt
Then brushed past my lips
As we began to flirt

Shortly followed by
A gentle zephyr breeze
Which caressed my thighs
With a sensual tease

There then followed
A strong roaring gust
Which swept me away
And turned me to dust

by Jemia
Like crushed velvet
And silken shrouds
Hidden dimensions
A tsunami of waves
That wavers
As a cascading waterfall
Crashes against
The sharp
And bleeding rocks below
As the unstoppable
Is ill-met with the unmoving
I wander into my room
Dreams over, or just begun?
And before me
Sat upon a tri-legged seat
Was a beautiful Elfin lady
I searched into her soulful eyes
Swirling colours
Full of magic, mischief, and love
My head spun
As i wondered, from whence she had come
Perhaps from an ethereal world
From above, or far below?
She had read my thoughts
And spoke, that there was no
Below, or above
That she was of nature's fair
As an invisible wind
Danced within her golden hair
This Elfin lady, thence did declare
That she was here, with an offer
Of which, she would now tell
That she knew of my sadness
And sometimes deep despair
At the world in which i live
And although she could not promise
That the surreal world of nature
Did not have suffering
As maybe, wasn't as pure as i dreamt
But it had no lies, or pretense
I took her outstretched arms
And held them to my heart
As i flew away with her
To drown in the truth, and reality
Of natures beautiful, magical, essence

by Jemia
The grass grows greener
On the other side
As me, and a former bowling green
No longer have any bowls to hide

Now completely bowl-less, and free
Surrounded by many a beautiful tree
There are no stumps!
In this wonderful surreality

And amongst these fine bowers
Grows a multitude of flowers
Where i pirouette with the fairies
For hours, and hours, and hours

As the smiling humorous sun
Watches on with great fun
Then moons, at the moon
And spun, and spun, and spun
As everyone
Was bowled over

by Jemia
I had put all my hopes, and dreams
Into a basket full of holes, so it seems
Fallen eggshells, lay scattered
As dreams were soon shattered

I patched the basket up, ready for its quest
Filled it with eggs, from a myriad of nests
And avoided stepping, onto broken eggshells
As i  moved forward, dancing over bluebells

I walked amongst the beautiful trees
My hair flowing gently, in a warming breeze
as a susseration, of stirring leaves
Embraced my heart, that no longer grieves

The sun, knowingly shone
Sensing my emotions, of things, now gone
As a myriad trees, gave me a warming embrace
They lifted my soul, towards an ethereal place

As a soft murmuring, of wind-swept flowers
A sweetening of time, amidst sweet bowers
A natural tapestry, of butterfly wings
with beautiful birdsong, and fluttering wings

by Jemia
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