The house is quiet, only my whisper is heard...

oh, I guess I'm such a nerd,
are you hanging on my every word?

OK good, come on, let's go,

Shadows drifting, so discreet,
fowl breath, a cut out sheet,
  hard to move these trembling feet
a waiting guest, for me to greet?
not a trick, I hope a treat!?!

Perhaps the reaper comes this way
he knows of this, a game I play?
waking Crowley, where he lay,

I grab ahold the banister,
and step around the stair valute,
the air grows dark and thick again,
as everything is put in mute,
until a bell, I pause to think,
perhaps a playing flute?

Prolly not & that's real cute,
or maybe
inquiries of  candied loot?

True that,

I wait to hear again, a ding,
the joy of laughter it will bring,
the songs again my heart will sing,

I grip the rail, I'm petrified
a ghostly ghoul,
me, has spied
I move away,
from where I hide,

Shhhhhh be quiet,

My legs are heavy,
I slowly stepped,
you escorted,
up I crept
tears I wish,
that I had wept,
I move my hand,
away are swept,
no way for me to leave, get out,
they'd never hear me scream & shout
trudging on with wary doubt,
I bite my lip,
I moan & pout,
in every step, as I grow brave,
climbing up, a darkened grave,
with every step, my soul to save,

Very dramatic poet,
emmmm thanks, read on,

I reach the top in my suspense,
ahead I say, in my defense,
sorry if you're feeling tense,

It's alright,

I open up the door ahead,
filling me & you with dread,
dragging knuckles, telluric bed,
I look, in horror, shrilling,
....shrieking
a glowing face, chilling,
peeking, must be the one,
that I,
... am seeking!

I chuckle at the sounds of creaking,
bones & boards beneath my feet
they tell,
so sneaking up?
say
you lived in hell?
so I give up
hey, where's the bell?

Oh hear it is, that's just swell,
I know right?
Thanks for finding it though,

Look out!?!

Jumping out, you give a start,
I feel it pump inside my heart,
looks as if I need black art,

Yikes!!!

Your not afraid?
you silly girl, let me give
another whirl
a bony hand, sweeps & swirls
tattered sheets they creep & twirl

You do your best
to discourage guests
I'm prepared for any scary test
Yes I'm different from the rest,
& by the way,
you mustn't know that I am blessed
I'm not leaving, you may have guessed

Some pumpkins happy
some are scary
the children here,
they shan't be wary
I am not, no I am nary
this may be a fateful twist
but by the gods I have been kissed
sorry but your aim, it missed

I know that I look a witch
as I move my nose & give a twitch
but my dear, I pulled a switch

I raise my hands, I curse your words
as spirits cry, my voice, is heard
I bind you here, your soul I gird,
I cast a spell, hogtie your feet
take a bite, it's really sweet
yes my dear please have a treat
do you mind, if I have a seat?

I call my spoon, my kettle stirring,
as he speaks,
the words are spurring,
I laugh aloud, as kitty's purring,
supernatural events, occurring,
as caldrons bubble, broomsticks fly,
& Frankenstein went walking by,
his Mummy gives a wistful sigh,

Your look of shock, a priceless one,
like someone just removed the sun,
I dare not say, a silly pun?

No it's very good,
Oh hey thanks friend,

As breaking glass of aged pane's
& your attempts to stop me,
all in vain,

In  rattlin' of my heavy chains
relieving bones,
from what they weigh
as my skeleton comes out to play
protecting children as you prey,
wave a wand, a hand & down I slay,

Too much?

No, go on...

The werewolf howling at the moon
growling baying, softly croons,
a clown I think might be a goon,
the wicked hour coming soon,
cackling witches laugh &  snicker
spirits run & candles flicker
demons plot, giggle...
... snicker,
rubbing hands,
they fight & bicker,

Hehehe...

I must admit their kinda spooky
Some are cute and kinda kooky,
To me look like a bunch of groupies,

Ha ha, good one poet!
Oh, well thanks!

I give my stick another flick,
I guess I gotta few more tricks!?
as fires dance in flaming licks,

Ewwww, I like it...

Halloween no time for fools,
the banshee comes with gaurding ghoul,
we're taking him to scaring school

Oh very cool,
yeah I made some room,

You can ride with banshee there,
the one with all the crazy hair,
you'll be alright just don't stare,
It's not as if I just don't care,

Huh!?! Great,

The unwanted speaks,

Well my dear, I'd say we're even
but temporary guess I'm leavin'
and your magic I might believin
pretty good, you think you won
congrats again, it's been real fun
a spell like yours can be undone

Hmmmm,

Oh I see, you think my best?
wait a sec, I'll get undressed
something here I must confess

Most these monsters are my friends
on whom my back I can depend
do your thing, with time you spend

That's okay, you go ahead
I don't wanna end up dead
and now I see, an empty bed
& your face is just filled with dread
boy you're really turning red
must be all the ink I bled

Careful now,
is this just a story?
filled with rhymes,
& kinda gory,
finding out is mandatory,



Now I jump out,
- I just say BOO
I guess, you see-
the tricks on you!

Happy Halloween!

Great ending,

Awww thanks for the love,
yeah sure do love this time of year,
lotsa fun, this one,

Enjoy a candy,
& thanks for coming!

Cherie Nolan © 2016

It's cold.
I can't feel my fingers
Or my toes
For now
Just my extremities are frozen
But my frozen fingertips
And my frozen feet
Are telling me
Screaming to me
Fall is here!
I turn on the heat
Take off my clothes
And grab a towel
Leap in to the tub and
With the quick twist of two knobs
BLAST
Comes the water from the shower head
Spitting as hot as it can
Steam instantly leaps off of my body
And with it my feeling of chill
As my vision clouds
And the scalding drops
Bonce off my skin
Heat spreads to every inch of me
Tickling
As its small feet
Travel across my body
In the wake of its coming it brings
(as it always does)
Peace of mind
And creative thoughtfulness
Alternatively with each step
Each tingle
Is a piece of ice
Leaving me
In it's place replaced
With warmth
And comfort
Every second that passes is different
Quiet
Listen to the million droplets
Dive bombing the tile
No thoughts.
In the next second,
A crowd of reporters enter my head
Each louder than the last
Each trying to make themselves heard
"What does the future hold?"
"How will you get there?"
"What makes a man?"
"Are you smart enough?"
"Are you strong enough?"
"Do you care enough?"
"Are you ready for the world?"
"Is the world ready for you?"
"Are you anything really for it to be ready for at all?"
Some are answered
Most aren't
But all are heard
And then in the next second
The buzzing crowd leaves for a while
And is replaced by the sound of the shower head
SHHHHHH
Stop worrying
SHHHHHH
Stop thinking
SHHHHHH
Just stand and enjoy
This heated reprieve
From the cold outside

Lust
One of those words that turns you
Grabs likes and causes comments
Lustful
Lingering upon lust
Requires courage for we can be trapped
Inside her endless taunting and tasting
Saltiness of you while waves crashing
Cause us to linger...lost
In the luscious luxury of you
Lust...
Shhhhhh...
We dare not speak your other names
***
Passion
Pleasure
Self satisfaction
Sultry sensuous
Luxurious lust...

I have always had a hunger for words
seven years old, I was reading at a college level. I was amazing. A little freak of nature. They said, "Grace, you're so smart" "Grace, you're a genius" "Grace, you're going places in life" but now i'm not so sure because
I was extraordinary then but
this is high school now and everybody reads at a college level and all of a sudden I don't feel so special anymore.
10 years old I was required to write 13 poems for the "Bluebonnet Young Poet awards"
I submitted them but
I'm still waiting for the letter that tells me I've won.
And so I wrote poetry all through the sixth grade
I was threatened and
pushed around. but no one could know because if anyone knew
they would hurt me worse and so I took the liberty of
doing that for them.
but there was a boy. isn't there ALWAYS a boy?
and I tried to write about him but (shhhhhh) he was a secret and all of the things he did to me were (shhhhhh) (shut up) (be quiet) (don't make a sound)
once I was free from him the words poured out of me like a bird released from its cage finally finally finally I could SING.
but there was a boy. isn't there always a boy?
he let the words come and come and they were about him, always about him. they were beautiful. every day there seemed to be more words about him, for him, to him. it stopped being about my words and always about his but his words were empty so he stopped saying them. I wrote for him and hoped he would see it but I guess he never did because sometimes I still write for him and wonder what he's doing.
sometimes people like to tell me that my poetry isn't "appropriate" that it's "too emotional" "too adult" and I shouldn't be writing things like that, am I depressed?  who are they, who are any of you, to tell me what I can and cannot feel?
who am I, to be standing here, telling you what I feel?
I have always had a need for words.
it's about time I started treating them right.

Crying Night

You said mean
nasty
horrible
teasing
things

you didn’t think
about what you said
to me

I turned my back
and we sat in silence.
The glow of our phones lighting up our faces
mine, sad
yours, oblivious

mine, a way out of our plans tomorrow
yours, Facebook scrolling

then,
the last straw
the tip of the iceberg
it wasn’t the things he said that night
it was everything
it was me feeling like I wasn’t good enough
our hearts filled not equally

mine, full, overflowing, even
yours, unsure,
you turned to me and tried to make me giggle
react
laugh
at a post
I shoved you
and the flood gates opened
first quietly
then raging
heavy, breathe taking sobs
crying crying

then you realized
this wasn’t a joke
you held me tight
and I told you why
All of it, and you laid and listened
silence
shhhhhh you said.
shhhhhh you’re okay.
shhhh

No,
No I’m not
this isn’t okay.


why am I not enough
the way I feel is too much
I shouldn’t have to hold it all back
You’ve turned me into an insomniac

Shhh they'll hear us.
They musn't listen to our whispers..
Our silent screams of yearning..
of understanding..
Uneasy?
Yes.
Nervous?
Yes.
Scared?
YES.
Shhh! I told you I know not all the rules to this game, but I am trying to play fair.
Rather be hurt than hurt. Remeber that?
What of that?
"Well" you are saying.. "run to me" ...you beckon..
Tempted. I started on my way..
Torn. I stopped abruptly.
Turned... and then...
A glance back.. NO!
Just keep walking away and don't look back.
Walk?
  No..
Run. Straight ahead..
into the dead of night
to the warmest arms you've ever had with the coldest emotion.

At once all is still.. silent.. breathless..
Safe.
Yes safe..
Sadly comfortably safe.
Just smile.

BE THY OWN PALACE

Seated beside her
in the pew

her doll listened intently
to the Saviour who

emerges from
the old priest's mouth

an ectoplasm of words
as He manifests before her.

"Is there a doll heaven?"
she wonders.

Her little mistress however is
bored very bored indeed

much more interested  in
a sunbeam genuflecting

before the altar
extinguishing the priest's voice.

Or the ladybird
landing on a lady's foxfur

it more jewel
than the jewel worn.

Picking her nose
as the host is

held aloft

a bird perched upon
the left shoulder of

the crucifix
the Christ a mere cypher

how the artist
fancied HIm.

The crucified man smiling at her
despite how boring the sermon is.

Sunlight becoming colour
travelling through stained glass.

Her doll nods off
falling at her feet

"Shhhhhh!" father scolds
both doll and daughter.

Doll's head broken in four
nothing inside but an emptiness

all her thoughts
evaporated.

The smile still fixed
on her porcelain face.

Incense like death
walking upon the air.

The tiny ******
of a bell.

Laying in bed on my back.
My head resting on hands, cushioned.
The dark ceiling with a black asterisk in the middle.
My windows casting shadows of light across my room.
The rain outside silencing me with
shhhhhh
continuous
shhhhhhhhhhhh.
Listening closely I hear the lone pitters and single patters.
The nearly not noticeable rustling of branches.
Tempo of the rain quickening, slowing, quickening-
almost like a heartbeat.
A drip drip of droplets delving into a puddle.
The rushing of a shy, shallow, stream;
Its rare gurgles.
The ominous bass of thunder, deafening.
Natures own orchestra-
For me to fall asleep to.

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

We met in kindergarten
Miss Wolfe’s class
Into an ear I whisper
A shy boy’s bargain

I knock on your door
Pray the dog
Doesn’t **** me
Seems like a metaphor

Laughter and chasing geese
Stealing glances
And prances in the woods
Sprained ankles in the creek

Your moon-drenched family room
And our primal need
Bodies glide
Into foreign feelings
I concede

We’re both shaving now
Not children
Yet not men
In between and fooling around

In my attic bedroom
Space Jam soundtrack
Hoping my mom doesn’t hear us
My hands on your back

Then moving down
Committing little sins
Shhhhhh
Don’t make a sound

Then the bed of my dad’s truck
Some hand stuff
Never a ****
Never enough

You get up and leave
I want you to stay
I play the radio
97 ZOK

Meredith Brooks
And I hate the world today
Because I’m a *****
But I like me this way

Fifteen and fevered
Down Mix Street
I rollerblade
Turn right on Worth
My love for you
Is such a sad parade

Remember when
We camped on the lawn
Quiet light and secrets
Then that wicked dawn

Dragging us back
Into a world
Where our desires
Don’t belong

We are strangers now
With a little bit of everything
All rolled into memory
Like a sacred vow

I’m your hell
I’m your dream
Do you remember anything?

I recall it all
Your tousled hair
And my forbidden grin
I think you live in Wisconsin

As I left the house the other day I felt some eyes on me
But, I looked around both front and back and no one did I see
I had this funny feeling as I walked on down the street
They were hidden in the background and were being quite discreet
It really did unnerve me to be watched out in  the dark
But then  I found  my stalker when I walked down  by the park
I turned around so  quickly and looked up in the trees
And there it was ,   I saw it, sitting staring  back at me
A pair of eyes were  smiling, on a cat , the Cheshire kind
When I looked again, I knew again,   that this was just my mind
I'd had this feeling once before a year or so ago
But I'd looked around for someone and that someone didn't show
But here I was years later standing, looking in that tree
At a cat with eyes wide open, sitting, smiling back at me
I said "where did you come from?" and "what is it you want?"
"Why choose me to follow, why am I the one you haunt?"
He blinked and said "I'm sorry, it's is you that chose to choose"
"I'm just here to help your writing, you can say that I'm your Muse"
"You see I surface when you need me, to give your ideas a little push"
"I help filter out the voices, I'm the one that tells them shhhhhh"
"An artist has a model, Lautrec...he had his ******"
"Doyle had his ***** and you can say I'm yours"
"But why a cat?...of all the things there is for to be chosen"
"I don't know he said, maybe your mind was just  frozen!"
"You must like Lewis Carroll for I'm his , not yours, you know"
"And just like back in Wonderland, I know just when to go".
"I know when you are stuck on a word or on some prose"
"That's when I come and help you, come to help show how it goes"
"But, why do you stay hidden, come on  now and  tell me true"
"Who'd believe a tale of talking cats...not me...and I'm sure not you!"
"I'm near and then I'm not so close, I come just when I must"
"Usually, you're on your own, your thoughts you're best to trust"
"To write and share your stories, it takes a leap of faith"
"But who'd believe it if you said you  got your stories from a wraith?"
I thought a bit, and that made sense, there's no way to tell
Even though it's madness, they'd condemn me right to hell
A Cheshire cat who writes your poems and sits up in a tree
Now who would believe that fancy tale ?, certainly not me
He said my mind has many thoughts that should be put to paper
And his job was to come around when ideas began to  taper
Poems, and essays, stories, who knows even a book
I'd only have to dig deep down, and give my mind a look
Before he left I asked him why I'd not seen him before
He said to me "truth be told, you've never opened up that door"
"You've never crossed the threshold to where your mind gives birth"
"To the ideas for all your writing, your imagination hearth"
"But now you know I'm  here for you and here to help you write"
"I'll disappear just like before and I shall say goodnight"
"Before you leave I have to say, I'm glad that this was no ruse"
"And of the things there is around I'm glad it's you I chose to choose!"

Pushing a stroller as she walked in a hurry
She was dressed in clothes that were *****
With hair matted and a face of lines that deeply ran
The stroller looked as if it came from a garbage can
  
Hanging from the handles  were ***** leather bags
Covering something in the seat tattered blankets  like rags
She approached looking like time had been unkind
But in her eyes a glimmering smile was defined
  
I opened my mouth to speak to her
And see if I could make a help offer
Slowly she lifted her hand and stretched a curved finger
“Shhhhhh," she said while over her mouth it did linger
  
Then down she reached for the tattered blanket
I knew that spot was special and private
She picked up a change purse from the seat
Opened it wide as she tried to be discreet
  
She motioned for me to look inside
It was full of gold dollars to my surprise
She reached in and took out two of them
Then grabbed my hand and I knew it was Him
  
All of a sudden a fear came over me
A soft voice in the breeze began to speak
"Don't be afraid, you know I Am"
Then she put the two dollars in my hand
  
When I looked up to thank her
Something happened I’ll always remember
She and her stroller were gone as if she had never been there
At the gold dollars I looked and just stared

Shhhhh!
Keep quiet,
I'm quite busy reading your poem
And it's so fantastic,
So do not move any tables or chairs,
It may disrupt my attention.

Shhhhh!
Kindly listen to me,
Shhhhh!

you were curling my hair around your fingers and laughing at the shape of them
  or maybe you were just laughing at me,
         I’m not sure.
and then I told you I loved you and you smiled—
                  ok that didn’t happen—
what happened was you pulled at the curls you just made in your own hands
until they weren’t attached to my head anymore.
     it didn’t hurt, I think.
    and then you put them in your pocket and ran away
                                  and then you fell and she picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away too.
then you came back and said whoops, sorry but you still didn’t give me them back
         I don’t know if I even want them back.
on the way to the place with the people and the things in the car you winked at me
or maybe you had something in your eye,
but I smiled and you said that’s fine so I cried for a little and then it was just us
but I was still scared she was going to put you in her pocket and run away again
     but you told me not to worry.
and then we were swimming in the pool
but then I looked down and it wasn’t a chlorine-colored blue
  it was red like the sun at sunset but it wasn’t sunset and there was no sun;
      I felt ok but you didn’t and you pulled a knife out from under the pillow—
               the one in your room—
and that’s when I finally realized you were going to be the one to **** me
and I also realized I was ok with it
because better you to **** me than some other shmuck,
you know?
      the only problem was I wasn’t the first one you killed,
or it should have been a problem,
or rather they all said it was a problem;
but it wasn’t.
and then we were rolling around in the grass,
and I lost an earring and you said whoops, sorry and I kissed you anyway
               but you didn’t kiss me back
but you pretended to and that was alright so I went with it
      but then you didn’t want to go all the way and I was ****** but pretended I wasn’t
and then you said shhhhhh and then you grew wings and flew away
and left me there for the birds to eat
while she grew wings to be with you so you weren’t alone.
and then we were sitting on your porch swing and it was swinging slowly
and you looked straight into my eyes for hours while I talked about nothing
but then you started to talk about something
and then I got really happy
and then we started swinging so fast that we were in the sky,
         but we weren’t, really.
and then she stopped the swing and picked you up and put you in her pocket and ran away again.
     this time you didn’t come back.
then I turned into ***** and told you I was ok with it.
                   and then I cried.
               and then I woke up.

Touch your heart
Close your eyes
Make a wish
Say goodnight

Sky so wide
Stars so bright
Off the lights
Sleep so tight

A whisper inaudible
Left to the night
Falls not upon
Listener
Expressing delight
A secret
Meant not to be kept
But not intended to be shared
Is left to listless apathy
As noone cared
We all say things
That nobody hears
Hushing our shame and fears
Thinking shyly of dreams
In the silence
I can hear our screams

Shh
Wandering tongues lynch themselves before thoughts can slip into words
pupils impregnated by motionless anticipation
and the fluttering of flies on the corpses of stomachs
don’t stutter
don’t stutter
don’t stutter
shhh
Calm
let glands spew waterfalls down brows
and browse for options yet remain still, remain silent
I was always taught to
shhhh
retreat to familiarity, fermenting in the stagnation of bedrooms
and errant thoughts, and regrets, and remembering
I don’t think this is going to work out
I dont think this relationship is healthy for us
I think we should
shhhhh
close mouths so the belt welts bruise less
You are simply fleshwounds to blues and blacks  that bubble beneath skin
eyes low, chasmic, crimson, grin and giggle
follow footsteps to paper faced ledges and the defiant plume of burning leaves
Ive grown to love
shhhhhh
Schwinns and wind, and ballooning confidence
headphones hugging haphazard hairs scent of remnant shampoo particles
and hungry breath, peppermint camouflage so lips can kiss scars
craving solid land while lost in waves of stone
distant skin and grin and eye contact
Ive grown tired of
shhhhhhh**
winding car rides, surrounded by noise
playing the quiet game

DO YOU WANT THIS
THE INN AND OUT DRIVE THROUGH
PLUNGE INTO STARS –MY STARS
ME- DIPPING UPON YOUR NORTH POLE
TO EXCITE AN EXIT OF YOUR MILKY WAY
I’M YOUR VENUS
YOU ARE MARZ HITTEN ME LIKE -SHOOTING STARS
SEND THESE CLOUDS BELOW A HIGH 9
MAKE THE SUN STAY QUIET
……..
SHHHHHH
SHE IS SLEEPING
LEAVING THE FIRE BURNING IN HER SLEEP
AS WE WARM UP TO ANOTHER LEVEL OF OUR –STAR CLUSTER
AND WE ARE GALAXIES SCREAMING
TO A UNIVERSAL SOUL INSERTION
STRAIGHT INTO MY GALACTIC STARS
YOU –MARZ
THE KING OF ALL PLANETS –REVOLVING –CRASH
INTO HEAVENLY LOVE
WE CAN MAKE ANGULAR MOMENTUM
AS MANY AS YOU LIKE
YOUR HEAVAN IS COSMIC RAYS UPON MY SMILY SPACE
YOU ARE MY ABUNDANT HYDROGEN EMBRACING YOUR GIFTS
AND THE HEAVENS SMILE
CANDID BUT WILD
AND NOW-
THE SUN AWAKES
SHE AWAKES SWOONING TO OUR COMBUSTIONS
HER HEART RACES –WATCHING…..
SHHHH –BLUSH
AND WE'ER RUNNING WITH
SHOOTING STARS
SHOOTING UP STAR-WARS
SHOOTING INTO ME
SHOOTING UP UNIVERSAL -******.

(INCREDIBLE INK- TEAM JAGUAR HAWAII)
© Copyright 2014 S.T. Parish Rebel of Eden

These roads are black
Burning my souls
I’m wishing for direction
Perhaps nobody knows
They whisper
“Nobody Knows...”

Shhhhh

My stomach feels empty
THOUGH IT’S NOT
This pacing has me more
Lost.
Oh, how it’s turning in
KNOTS

Shhhhh

HELP ME

Shhhhh

I could help me
I’m stuck in overdrive
I should help me before I end
my life

Shhhhh

I’M STUCK IN OVERDRIVE

MY lack of purpose
Your picket fence and glory
MY broken brain
Should I be sorry

I AM SORRY

Shhhhh

Breath,
You are worthwhile
None of this is real
SURE
Just another **** pile

Farewell to the chaos
cheers to the tears

Shhhhhh

******* VOICES

Inhale - Exhale
Inhale - Exhaaaa
Inha - Ex————-

Trapped inside the mind,
Screaming and yelling to get out.
Prevented by the blockade behind the mouth.
Too many words.
Too many thoughts,
swirling  and swimming all around.
Topics of all kinds.
Only to be released by the
bleeding of ink from a pen on paper, scrawling words across the blue lines.
Wanting to voice aloud, cannot find proper phrases.
But placed on paper, the screaming of words mellow, and become coherent.
Unable to be formed in a paragraph, for in the mind if full of rhyme and stanzas.
Tries to wrote for others to understand, but usually writes to clear the mind.
People speak, they are loud or quiet, aggressive or sweet. All able to voice their words aloud.
Not uncomfortable, or scared.
Nor nervous,
Just trying to  sort the swirling and swimmingwords.
Words often
s
       P
I
        R
A
        L
into themselves, always getting smaller,
N
E
V
E
R
stopping or
C
H
A
N
G
I
N
G
.
The mind gets lost within the spirals, trying desperately to
E
    S
        C
            A
                 P
                       E
through the voice.
Always in search of pen and paper, to scratch things down.
Wants to help other, often doesn’t know how to offer.
Has appreciation for those around, yet doesn’t know how to show or say.
Wanting to speak, mind screaming back, saying to stay quiet from years of being told not to speak.
Still unsure how to properly show affection, to family, friends, and significant other.
Cares a lot, struggling to keep pace.
The only comfort, when thoughts are sorted out through the blood of pens staining the white paper.

THE FOREVER OF IT ALL

Every day
the sea

came to see us

waiting patiently
just outside the

little yellow house
an enamel brooch

pinned upon
a morning's horizon.

We listening to
a seashell telling tales

of the hidden ocean
inside us

in the voice of the blood
journeying from tip to toe.

"Shhhhhh....sushhhhh!"
"Shhhhhh....hushhhhh!"

said the sunlight
entangled in the leaves

as if the sea were
throwing its voice.

A seagull laughed loudly
at the forever of it all.

An orange grew quietly
upon a tree.

Incessant insolent innocence lies broken by a bedside.
Am i taking psychoactive substances, or am i substantially psychoactive?
Puzzling proportions of a mirror lie shattered by my knees.
Am i broken?
shhhhhh
We just want to fix you.

Are you broken?
HUSH
I just want to feel free.

UNCLE MICHAEL- ALIAS GOD

His hands(tobacco stained)    
twisted & gnarled

knotted like an alive piece of wood
scrawled gestures across my mind

as the sick calf bucked in his arms
& his quiet strength - calmed:

'Shhhhhh... shhhhhhh...****...****! '
he crooned

& the sound
soothed.

And the veins(line vines)    
ran up & down his arms

pumping crude life like a sudden sketch
to suggest the gist of rather than

the meaning of things.

And he walked(& I ran)    
towards Granny's garden(like God tending Eden)    

& the gate(a little hoarse)sighed at his hand and

the leaves murmured
(like worshippers in a church congregation)    

& the sunlight genuflected through the trees
and the trees wore socks & apples.

A tablecloth was laid
on a loganberry bush.

And the young tree gave herself to him
broke tenderly in his hand

and, the knife whistled & whittled
& out of the branch came a man.

And he told me(& I believed him
'cos he was good as God & strong)    

that the little wooden man(the silent statue)    
had been waiting(all the time all ready made)    

waiting to be released
from his prison of wood.

'All things...'he whispered
'all things are waiting for you to call them.'

'Call them to come out...'
'Awake them...create them...! '

The rhododendrons were blue with amazement

-at this revelation
a dragonfly walked upon the water.

A butterfly became infatuated with a flower.

Me...?

I watched as his hands talked...
...explaining things that could not be...said.

And he took my hand in his and I understood

flowed like a little stream
into his big river

felt God(close)    
near at hand

and...smiling.

Act weird all the time so nobody guesses when you really are "weird".
But be silly, not threatening.
Master this, how to be funny and weird without scaring people.
Anger is for yourself.
Don't bother ridding yourself of anger.
It isn't possible.
Just aim it at yourself to counter the egotism.
You are just like everybody else.
See how ridiculous they are?
So are you.
Your best approach?
Shhhhhh.
Always attempt to be underestimated.

Shhhhhh, i wanna hear silent, please, let me hear you.
I need to hear myself talking, reprimand, preach.
I need myself to preach myself, from the misery that i have created putting myself in a great perfection of depression in the imperfection of human form.
Shhhhh, i wanna hear silent, please let me hear you. I need to have a talk with myself, yes, a talk is all i need to bring back the darkness of happiness and put me into the light of sadness. Yes, all i need is to mess with myself. Shhh, silent, where are you??

I love Halloween the beginning to the end
I can pretend I'm some one else with all my friends
Shhhhhh the fall brings something special
It's like a gift every year
You can't open it,  it just appears
I love the smell of the Halloween air,
The Ghost and Goblins they'll be there
I get so excited but so scared
I'm dressed like a witch but I don't care
I'm all in black with ugly teeth
My friend is a ghost wearing a sheet
We knock on doors playing trick or treat
Better have candy or you have me to meet

They lay in bed breathing easy breaths of exhaustion with their fingers locking their palms in a gently kiss, his eyes starting deeply into the universe of colors in hers and softly he spoke, “I feel that I have loved you longer than I have known life, longer than I have been... I can’t remember a day or time that my heart did not know or sing your name, I can’t recall a memory that you are not a part of... as if I have loved you from within my mothers womb all the way to this very moment...it’s as if we never meet... as if somehow we just always were.  Tell me, is it true... have you always been here, here in my heart... from it’s very first beat?”, he asked as he moved their hands over the middle of his chest where his heart sang below.  “Or are you just a dream... or am I?  Is any of this real?”
“I am not just a dream... I am Dream, I am all dreams... I am the dream of all the stars wishing to be made of flesh and I am the dream of every child wishing they could fly.  I am the dream of every god wishing they were never given names.  I am the dream of the salt and the blood swimming in the sea and I am the dream of every grain of sand and every leaf floating on the wind... and it is all real, as real as you and I, every dream every whispered, every dream sown into every wish... and you... you are more than just a dream... you are my first love and my last love, always, you are the time in every moment of every breath of everything I do... I can not exist or live without you and you do not live without my dream of loving you... and Life is our child, all life, and we give life dreams and love and time and let it run wild and free.  We are tied to each other in mystery and magic and knowing of things that can’t be known or spoken... We exist for an eternity together and then in a moment we are gone and we sleep and we rest and all goes quite and not a thing is dreamt and time does not move or exist while we sleep...”
“And what of our love while we sleep?”
“It watches over us and keeps us safe.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
“Do we come back... do we wake up again... will we remember?”
“Yes and no and yes... you will be Time and I will be Dream again... in the time ahead, and we will live and love and dream and give life to dreams and dreams to life and time and love to both... it will all be different and it will all feel the same and this will and will not be true but it will never be a lie... a new story for a new Dream and a new Time, as there is always a time before now and a time ahead of now... but for now we will rest and sleep and love will keep us safe.”
He went to speak again and she gently pushed a finger to his lips and without making a sound Dream said, “shhhhhh... sleep, sleep Time, sleep...”
And Dream and Time slept and the time of now was gone and love sighed and sat and watched and yawned knowing what could not be known or spoken and smiled to know that the circle would come round again and Life would be born from Dream and Time and love would be there waiting to be given and shared and lost and found and broken and healed and it would laugh when it could and it would cry when it needed and no matter what, it would always be there as a part of Life and Time and Dream.

You seem so prim,
so proper
on the outside,
sweet & sugarcoated,
yummy.

You float around the room
like a sweet butterfly,
everybody just loves
your pretty innocence.

But behind closed doors,
you're downright vixenish,
not really rude,
but crude,
the kind of crude
that makes a man blush.

Shhhhhh,
hush,
I'm not in a rush......
that's it....
ride.....
right there....
uuuuuhh,
O Darling push,
make my face turn red!

Someone once said,
kids say the darnedest things.
People say we're teaching kids,
but the reality is,
they're teaching us.

I overheard a young child
in the grocery store yesterday.
It was in the check out line.
The young one was tugging
on his mother's sweater & out of
the mouth of that babe I heard,
"Mommy are all people butting in line *******?"
Everyone turned to look.
"Shhhhhh", she said,
"honey, they might hear you!"
I thought, what the hell,
those kind of people should know better
than to set that kind of example
with small children around!

Someone once said,
kids say the darnedest things.
People say we're teaching kids,
but the reality is,
they're teaching us.

12345- didn't think I would stay alive.
How did I survive?
Feeling alone, if I dissapeard would he notice?

No one knew.. Shhhhhh . Secret

Big mishapen.. Yellow, brown, green and blue.
They fade.

Broken, but carry on. Why? Just for another slap or a nice little punch.
Don't want to be alive.. What have I done for such punishment?

Please humiliate me some more.. Or why not punch me in the face?  
You won't though. Not now

Coward.
Your not brave strong or manly.
You weak pathetic *******.