The forever-stench of hoboken
The most composed... undress
Loosened to a senseless smirk
Keep walking...
The prettiest eyes droop to a cool low
Posture is hard to keep with them shots!
Keep walking...
Messaging another senseful planet the boring absurdity of now
Watch your step!
Her fine italian dinner is inches away
Or is it fine thai...
It's vulgarity kills any sense of definition
Uh oh... now there are more puddles!
Keep away from those leaking lakes
Of sushi... sashimi... heineken... absolut!
Absolutely acceptable in this town!
Come on! We're almost out of it
Out of the town we were once so happy to visit just a couple of hours ago
When everyone was efficient, and not venturing *****
When communication wasn't fogged, but clear and easy
When men didn't dress like 14 year old boys trying to score at a house party
And women didn't give away their IQ so easily, heads slightly bent forward with a lack of direction
Maybe it was home, maybe it was danger, maybe it was fun
The zombie within arose with a wretched stench of alcohol
Yet this will never stop selling
People are sold this "treasure" of acceptance, rank, a strong sense of esotericism, all lies
Yet in reality, they are simple facades, regular people like you and me.
O Hoboken, you stink

When I was a kid I thought I fell in love
Worshiped the ground he walked on and the sky above
Giving everything I had was all I'd ever known
He was supposed to be my heart and my home
I'm not much older now but I often remember
The child that I had been; God how I hate her
I can't hurt anyone but I can inflict the pain on myself
And I guess I do that too often to be good for my health
The question that always comes up for me is "why"
The search for an answer continues as the years go by
I wish I could reach across time and destroy your life
Instead I sit here and watch red run down the knife

It's a ridiculous cliche but, ******* it, your eyes...
Forgive me if I don't always make eye contact,
Or look away too soon.  I'm listening. I swear it.
I'm afraid you might think that I'm full of myself,
Or afraid you might think that I've no self-esteem.
The truth is much simpler than either extreme.
The truth is I'm somewhere right in between.
but still:
Twin seas draw my stare and I fear what I'll say.
Fear falling into their unlit depths, where even my silence could betray.
The source to illuminate and fuel our lives' desires,
Find it in her hands , her touch,
Find it in her eyes.
Her eyes of ocean depth see me,
Giving no safe place to hide,
Searching bad cliches for the light, the otherness inside.
But what if all of my words are wrong?
What if they drive you away?
What if the light between oceans is mute?
Insufficient to make you stay?

Slithering snake skin over my arm
Will this creature cause me harm?
It tightens it's grip I stand dead still
I'm at it's disposal it's programmed to ****.
I gasp for breath it slides round my back.
I realise then that I have to attack.

we went to Little Blue
that summer in a ***'d car.
riding in extravagance
we couldn't afford.
camping in the Oklahoma ozarks,
we brought liquor. the two of us
drank a half-litre honey whiskey
and twenty-eight of thirty Pabsts.
your chick only nab'd two.
we were sunk from that point on.
i *****'d behind the car, and
there were left retched handprints.
left were a phantom's handprints,
having been drown'd by their hedonism.
the bikers partied along
with us apart from us.
they ask'd to use our hatchet,
that's the way we met.
men share tools, and that was
the only instance of civility
for two days. we ran feral.
rip'd shirt to ribbons,
wrap'd them 'round a stick,
soak'd citronella,
commenced adventure.
returning,
   two hours time gone;
returning,
   scratch'd and bleeding;
returning,
   we lit their paths with
   torch burning a primal fire;
sleep,
pass'd out by fire in lounge chair.
been in this spot before,
knew to bring a quilt
and mine was the only one.
startled awake,
fire nothing more than nightlight embers.
raccoon, sitting upright,
stared from his high perch of a picnic table.
apple in paws, nibbling,
he mock'd and monitor'd.
i swiped at it with a stick,
missed. said **** it.
slept in the car that night.

It started like any other ball up
My boys on the phone are who I did call up
Dank kush they did bring
My doorbell they ring
I let the boys in
and we smoked

We passed the **** 'round
But the herbs were pre-ground

Something was amiss...

I took my first rip
and my hop lost its hip!
Fire from the sky!
All the angels cry!

Darkness...

Awoke in a daze
My mind is a haze
I'm trapped in a maze
lost.

An unknown period of time passes
My boys and I are flat on our *****
"That **** was strong"
"That **** was wrong"
I smoked no more after that day
My reggae vibe went away
I bought a suit
I bought a tie
And I became, a different guy.

connecting….
you are now connected at 4mbps.
heart beats at 4beats per second.

connecting for…
…connection.
social networks
for social interaction.

names. nicknames. pseudonyms
all over the screen.

outbox. inbox.
feelings box.
boxed and botched.

attracted to an idea
a person living inside my computer screen

in my inbox.

are you sure you want to replace this file?
click.

i’m forgetting about you.
you with the flesh
and the warm blood.
and the beating heart.

pop-up.
this signal is poor.
i’ve been disconnected.

we’re disconnected.

In my life
I have been
Lifted onto an impossibly high pedastal
Puffed up to fit the mold of perfection
Inflated with false hopes
Filled by others’ expectations
Blown out of proportion
Stretched beyond capacity
Pulled until I am nothing but papery skin and bones and air and dreams

But at the sound of your voice
I melt.

Never have I felt smaller than when the whisper of my name rolls off your lips.

They chose me
I don't know why
Maybe the ****** Mary
Hanging from my neck was enough
To raise their ire
And surely in a ****** it did

I've taken hallucinagins in my life
Good ones
Bad ones
Beautiful magic mushrooms or
Lsd laced with stric 9 leaving your
Best friends siezing, begging god with
That very same emblem, "bring him back" and with a gasp and some *****
He was back

I've also had a history of  depression, anxiety, and the abuse of substances to self medicate. I'd say I've been close to being in a psychosis but never lost touch.

No, that's not what happened in that
Small town southern jail cell
Someone opened the gates of hell

Ilang segundo lamang,
Ikaw ay mawiwindang,
Akala mo'y matagal,
Ang yong ipagdarasal.

I drove from I-95 over to I-90/94
Yes you can say I put the metal to the floor

Drove all day and into the night
Guess I was going to fast now smokey is in sight

He stopped me and laid on me one hefty fine
He said slow down and be safe wow! he was kind

Went back to the driver seat to color in my log
Rolling down the highway pretending to be a big dog

Have a hot hot load and no time to spare
Running my face on the CB acting like i have something to share

All ready 3200 miles into this trip
Just hoping and praying that I just don't quit

Oh lord the chicken coop is open and pulling me around back
Lucky me Mr. DOT man letting me know I have a missing stack

Shut down of course till the repair guy fixes my truck
Have to call the company now just to pass a buck

Down too many hours wore out and beat
What can go wrong? have a broken air-ride seat

No border patrol or radio stations here in Montana
Have only one Cd why on earth did it have to be Santana?

Jamming to the only tunes, my truck doing all bit of 68
Driving illeagle to get there and cant remember the last time I ate

I'm in desparate need of real hot shower but I'm almost at the receiver
Stopping in to get some fuel, Just my luck got bit by a golden retriever

This has been a trip from hell no doubt about that
What else can go wrong? what that sound to notice I have a flat

I'll limp the rest of the way  have 10 mins. to get check in
After I get unloaded and the tired fixed I"ll do it all over again.

Smoking my last cigarette
I know you hate it
Never kicked the habit

Walked in with your jawline set
I know your angry
Lets get at it

Walk out trailing behind you
Like I'm some kind of
a n i m a l?

Throw me into the passengers side
And kiss me hard
Before we go

1 In the beginning man created God
2 And God was without form, and without name; and the concepts of man had yet to be imposed upon God
3 Peace and tolerance ruled the land and from this tranquility, light entered the world
4 And man saw the light, that it was good
5 And man called the light knowledge, and he divided the light from the darkness from which it had come, and the darkness he called ignorance, and hence, division entered the world.
6 And man said,” let there be a separation in the midst of the world, and let us divide the ignorant from the enlightened”, and the enlightened he called righteous, and the ignorant he called wicked, and thus duality came into being.
7 And man looked up to the sky from which the light came, and he called the sky Heaven. And he placed his God in this Heaven and thus separated God from mankind. And he called this separated land where God no longer resided Hell, and thus evil was given a place of its own.

Hope swerving; bending my thoughts of life
in it's curving lane. A game of gain, that not everybody
wants to play. Escaping from the day, or days; looking
for change in these ancestral chains. These are the shackles, keeping me in constant battle. Wearing my weight as a satchel; I constantly have to dismantle myself; to reach the top of successes great mantle.

Life's a rattle; shaking you at the core. Follow it's lore; and
be careful not break all of it's many laws. You'll get so many scars, and sores. Opening moments, opening and closing doors;
as you constantly walk along on life's floors with your flaws.
Happy moments galore; but also the saddest ones creeping up
on the low.

You'll cry to the Lord of it all; His lifting spirit keeps you up
when the soul falls. He's a calming voice to all of His children
he calls. You'll be in awe, letting Him guide you to where you
need to go. A lot of what he does you can't ignore. "Be patient
child; there's a lot in store. Blessed are the poor."

There's no valley too deep, or it's mountains to tall. But life
has it's many walls; we all have to face. Cracking knuckles
a couple times, till that wall breaks. It's not a mistake, or a
place to misplace how far you've come from that starting place.
Whether from the maybe, or maybe not; of the choices you've made. We've each got our choices to make.

Love grips the crowd like a glove. Some that are fed sweet nothings, while others starve. All the lights of these stars; like rushing traffic in space. Rushing like cars in a chase. Love feels like a rush of a race; trying to keep those emotions going straight in it's lane. Wild hearts trying to keep tame, with their hormones often the one's to blame. "Such a shame."

It's the rush of love; but is it enough to love someone more than you can give? To live only on the feelings love gives; wanting all
that's out there, but refusing to give in. Giving it at your best;
but ask a lover about their ex. They'd say, "my current is the best from the rest." What can you expect; of a lover's treasured love buried deep down in their chest?

An itch at the neck; nerves telling me to double check at my deck. Just in case my next play has me going, "what the heck!"

What's my next calling card in this play game of gain? Seems I'm
back at it's start once again.

i think future history will show PewdiePie as Marcel Duchamp
and the ideas curated will be
something.

The story of my life has never been one direction but a couple of blessings that come from me learning lessons and understanding that women are like different fragrances some that last longer through your trials and tribulations and some that are wrapped in fancy packaging claiming....but what am I saying she was an angel or so I thought meanwhile she was fake like an actress covering up with facials, never thought personas where part of life's daily essentials or that the essentials where really becoming essential.
Masquerading, parading but at the end  saying you're real though had my fair share of drama in this world involving this one girl turned into an ******* as they said but as I learnt in school I had to recycle cause pain comes around everytime like the menstrual cycle

My dreams,
Wasn't just any dream.
It took me into the deserts,
And made me into a cold
Feen,
A cold killer with a pierced heart ring.
I slowly fell into that dream.
Sinking like quick sand.
My head went first then my hands.
Unclean,
And dark tan.
I sunk.
I sunk into your quick sand,
And you left me there;
Selling false dreams with no care,
But who ever really cares?
I feel reincarnated wearing all
Black everything,
And a tattoed red tear drop that stains.
The stains that slowly rain,
One by one.
Two by two.
I've been playing fools gold,
But who would've ever knew,
That this day would come true?
I need your direction.
The only thing I ever knew was your
Protection.
I breathed you,
And your imperfections of lack of
Rotation to change your ways,
But it doesn't work like that,
That's just how the game plays.
Now i'm reincarnated in all black.
I had a knife cut in my heart
And thru my back,
But I still stand because at the time
I didn't know that I was sinking into
Your quick sand.
You know its funny,
Now;
Because you had me on hold,
But now all along...
I can truly title this
Fools Gold.
I was digging deep
Praying my soul would mold,
But that's just another story
Being untold.


-Marci H.

water cascades down
over crests and valleys
of an emaciated sternum
streams conjoined with tributaries of tears
diffusing and diluting

catharsis denied

slide of wood
rattle of curtain
escape of steam

i sit
you kneel

bare, naked, exposed
carrion of reality
defeated

LOVE
IS HIS HOLY ROBE
REGAL THAN AN OPPOSITE
A KISS OF LIFE

JUICY

RED

AS SIMPLE
AS AN APPLE ON A TREE
RUBBING AWAY POISON
KISSED
PIERCED
GENTLY BY TEASING INCUBUS SLEEP
BUT IF CAREFUL
IT WILL NEVER LOSE IT'S SHINE.

© S.T. Rebel of Eden

I saw the door wide open
Tempting my weak side to go in,
All I had to do is take one step.

Sincere but unwanted thoughts found their way to me...
"You won't go in without him..."
"You can't be genuinely happy without him, and you certainly don't want to"  
"You are incapable of standing without his arms there to hold you
"You can't glow without him, he is the energy that allows you to fire up"


So I closed my eyes and gave up
Allowing darkness and loneliness to embrace and surround me one more time, fulfilling me with fear of living life without him, of being happy without him.

But things couldn't stay like that forever... (Read the next poem, part 2)

I have no eyes, yet I must see,
The void's dark grip is haunting me.
No longer lost in others’ truth,
I'm swallowed by this empty ruth.

I have no mouth, yet I must scream,
Starved for food, for water, for dream.
Life slips away, cold and stark,
No lips to warm me in the dark.

I have no ears, yet must I hear,
My heart beats pain, my pulse is clear.
They mock, they whisper, they conspire,
Love’s sweet breath will never inspire.

I have no skin, yet I must feel,
No human warmth, no chance to heal.
I can't touch her, though love’s in sight—
Forever lost in endless night.

I need more eggs to feed the chickens, the big bad wolf to the little red hen,
The pigs are up in the family's den, and the shepherd can't herd them,

Well, I have two pieces of fence to hold the sheep in, find some mud to get the pigs sleeping,
Not a snowball's chance in hell we are leaving, now get back to your cage and start cleaning.

But the animals are asking for Napoleon ice cream, I'd scream but you know that doesn't make for nice dreams,
Well, feed the sheep a fresh hot plate of steam, make sure to gather the animals should all be as it seems.

Love always hates
when there's no one to love
No where to go
to give itself up
No one around
deserving of love
But isn't that really
most all of us

It's not that love doesn't
go out of its way
In spreading itself
where ever it may
From the best parts of town
to the worst you can say
Love hates to not
give itself away

When we love
we hold on to the image of a face  
we tuck them away in a corner
within our hearts
and we listen
we look
we carry your every word
like holding hands .

I miss you...
Not romantically though,
I just miss you...
'cause you always get me through.

I miss your face,
Especially your weirdness.
I miss when you take me to space,
Just you and I in the darkness.

You will call me a freak,
And I will call you the same.
'cause we both are sick,
And we both are lame.

We would talk, and talk,
Until we discontinue.
But then I will knock, and knock,
And we will continue.

Then came the day,
Where the conversation ended.
I felt dismay,
'Cause I thought our story was open-ended;

i wish i could
talk to people as easy as i
can convey words
to paper

You see before this year I was innocent
I wasn't ugly
No, pretty, hot, nice ***,or great *** often followed my name
But so did nice, quite, and innocent
That was the way I liked it though, because while *** never scarred me I didn't really need it
And this way only the few guys who weren't ''in it for the ***'' talked to me, which trust me wasn't that many

Than came this year
Nothing really changed physically, maybe lost a little baby fat, **** got a little bigger, demeanor become a little more open, maybe just hint of sensuality
But it was enough to be noticed thats for sure.

You see I'm not sure when it started but I can tell you when he did something about it. He was in three of my four classes and despite him being popular and hot i'd never payed him much attention, until he talked to me. And I wasn't used to that, we talked for a few weeks than he asked me out. Little did I know it was only because his girlfriend was away on vacation, I said yes, when he asked where I told him to surprise me, he asked if i liked surprises and i responded with very much, thats when he asked if I liked some action as well , and for the first time ever I seriously wanted to have *** and there were so many times we almost did, that was my introduction to the wonderful world of sexting and a week went buy before I heard about his girlfriend, another week later he told me they might get back together, even though they were never broken up. He asked if i'd still want to keep talking, although I hated the idea of being the slutty other women I said yes and I wish I wasn't so stupid

Sometimes I wish I was made of paper
To be one and the same as the trees
My perfume would be of printers ink
My face would be traced with lines of quils
So that one day when I step out on mars
The sun burning with volcanos’ rage
My skin might burst into flames
Fahrenheit: 451 degrees

Little boy Blue where did your smile go
Sweet and pure
Little boy Blue where did your smile go
Perfect as the sun
Bright as the moon
Little boy Blue where did your smile go
Perfect smile with your lip stuck out
When did you turn so blue??