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My moments .....
*****
Moments of joy,moments of bliss
Moments of love ,moments of Happiness
Moments of share,moments of care
Moments of hope,moments of despair
Moments of tears ,moments of cheer
Moments of mine,moments of yours
Moments of us, moments of ours
I pack these tiny moments
In my heart
The small treasure house !
My whole life is safe n secure
In these tiny moments,
And I pull them out
When I need them most.
When the road is long
And I am not strong.
When my eyes are blurred
Tears are too  tiered to flow!
I am frightened to look at
Those dark shadows
Advancing rapidly
To unsettle me .
Helplessly when
I watch
Like sand  ,life slip thru,
These tiny moments
My precious ,
My cherished moments
Come to my rescue!
Surround me
Hold my hands
And console me
Lift me up from the lowest of lows
Ever so graciously !
Copyright(C) Bhargavi Ravindra....
My moments .....
*****
Moments of joy,moments of bliss
Moments of love ,moments of Happiness
Moments of share,moments of care
Moments of hope,moments of despair
Moments of tears ,moments of cheer
Moments of mine,moments of yours
Moments of us, moments of ours
I pack these tiny moments
In my heart
The small treasure house !
My whole life is safe n secure
In these tiny moments,
And I pull them out
When I need them most.
When the road is long
And I am not strong.
When my eyes are blurred
Tears are too  tiered to flow!
I am frightened to look at
Those dark shadows
Advancing rapidly
To unsettle me .
Helplessly when
I watch
Like sand  ,life slip thru,
These tiny moments
My precious ,
My cherished moments
Come to my rescue!
Surround me
Hold my hands
And console me
Lift me up from the lowest of lows
Ever so graciously !

(C) Bhargavi Ravindra....May 2018 ..
It's not in the moments where we hold hands and skip
It's not in the moments where we hug and smile
It's not in the moments where we laugh like crazy
It's not in those moments that made me love you.

It's not in the moments where we make faces and wrestle
It's not in the moments where we cook when we can
It's not in the moments where we watch each others' favorite movies
It's not in those moments that made me love you.

It's not in the moments where we share our life stories
It's not in the moments where we get off topic on the phone
It's not in the moments where we miss our curfews
It's not in those moments that made me love you.

It's not in the moments where we call each other nicknames
It's not in the moments where we hold awkward conversations
It's not in the moments where we make plans for the future
It's not in those moments that made me love you.

*It's in those moments where lying together I can feel your heartbeat increase and race with mine, while our breathing matches up.  This lets me know that together we are one and being with me excites you as much as me being with you.
Curtis C Sep 2017
This has been a time of Great moments, aha moments, kind moments, accepting moments, releasing moments, good moments, smiling moments, sad moments, open moments, closed moments, moments of fear, moments of joy, moments of not understanding to moments of understanding. All these moments together, plus many more moments have come together to create Your Glorious Life. Your Being! The Unconditional Love that You are. So, take each moment and know that in each moment the only limits you have are the ones You create!!!
Embrace each moment because...YOU ARE THE MOMENT!!!!
Now lets do this Thing!!!!!
Lexi Smith Apr 2017
In life, we have those moments.
Those moments where,
everything seems to stop.

And the only thing that seems to matter,
is you, and anybody in that moment.

Your heart beats faster than
it ever has before
and everything is now
in slow motion.

The rain even seems to fall slower.
The wind quiets
and in the distance you can hear
a Lynyrd Skynard song
or maybe it's Bob Dylan.

But it's smooth and calming
and you feel like the moment
couldn't possibly end,
but it does.

Like all things it, it too must end sometime.
But you know what's really great?
We can always make more.

I've had a lot of moments,
with you.
They take my breath away
and remind me.

They remind me that no matter
how I'm feeling:
Angry
Excited
Glum
Happy
that I'm ALIVE

Mon Cheri
You are the best thing
that has ever happened to me.

I was once petrified
at even the thought
of uttering any sentence
close to that.

To admitting how I feel.
Especially to myself.
I was terrified of getting
broken.

But that's apart of life!
To be upset, happy, scared, confused,
Full of love.

And we as people
are not like the broken glass
in the alleys of the cities.

We are humans!
Resilient! Persevering!
Not just surviving but living!

And what do we live for,
if not love?

Mon Cheri,
you have my heart.
My everything.
Everything I have to offer
it's all yours.

You are my one.
I will make no comparisons
of princes and princesses,
or of fairytales and fables.
We are not those things.
Make believe.

We are the realist thing
I have ever had the chance
to be apart of.

We're human.

We make mistakes.
We scream.
We cry.
We get hurt
and we kiss the broken parts
of ourselves.

But, amazingly,

We also help each other.
We laugh.
We love.
We pick each other up
when we fall.
And we kiss the broken parts
of each other.

We have love between us.
It's similar to Kryptonite
for Superman.

It's the source of his strength
which makes him invincible.
but it's also his weakness.

We'll get hurt sometimes.

But together
we are still invincible.
You literally make me feel
like I'm flying.

Like I was saying about moments.

There have been moments where
you're in front of me and
tears are sliding down my face
and I feel as though my heart
is banging on my chest,
trying to escape the pain.

Where we're yelling and I'm
afraid we're going to lose each other.
Where your eyes are full of tears too.
Where I don't think we'll make it through.

But we do.

And then the relief washes over us.
And suddenly, we're clinging to each other
for dear life.

And in those moments, I'm absolutely sure
that I NEVER want to lose you.

Arms, legs, and lips are intertwined.
Hugging, kissing, laughing.
Like we never had before.

I love all of those moments.

I love the moments on a lazy Sunday.
Where we wake up, make love and just
hold each other. Just enjoying the morning.
As the light creeps through the window
dancing on our bare skin
and smiles are stretched across our faces
and our hearts are full
and we whisper to each other and laugh.

I love our adventurous moments,
where you scare me to death
and I shout your name and smack your arm.
But really,
I'm laughing on the inside.

I love the moments spent on the couch,
fighting over what to watch, or
playing video games.

I love the moments we spend in the shower,
it just feels so normal.
So comfortable.

I love the moments when we
go on dates. How you hold
my door, hold my hand,
hold me.

So many moments spent together.
Doing normal everyday things
with you is so much better
than alone.

They just become so full of love.
They become moments.
Things to appreciate.

Even sleeping next to you is better.
You keep the nightmares away.
You keep me safe.

I love you Mon Cheri,
for everything you do,
for every part of you.

From your messy hair
to your toes.

For every piece of you,

From your kind and sweet words
to your ADHD.

I love how loud, how vibrant you are.
I love how excited you get for things,
you could never annoy me.
Everything that makes you who you are,
I love it.
and I love you.

With every part of me.
Even the parts you don't particularly like,
but I know that you still love.
Oh darling,
even with all these words,
they still don't come close at all
to how much I love and care for you.

Oh, my darling.
Mon Cheri.
Monisha Jul 2019
Moments of life,
Moments to explore,
Moments when I go crazy,
Moments when I need more.

Moments that are mine,
Moments that I do not own,
Moments that are heightened,
Through thoughts and no thoughts alone.

Moments penning poetry,
Moments by the sea,
Moments smelling  flowers,
And the thorns pricking me.

Exquisite Joy
and Exquisite pain,
Moments with another,
feeling his grasp on my mane.

Moments where my thoughts are in knots,
Moments of release where I see just stars and dots.

And then sweet oblivion,
And floating gently above the  tree,
Moments where I open my body and soul,
And am bound and totally free!
Jason Cheney Feb 2021
There are moments of unbearable anguish
There are moments of unspeakable joy
There are moments when I can't even breathe
There are moments of quiet despair
There are moments of smoldering anger
There are moments of hopelessness
There are moments of effortless laughter
There are moments of solemn prayer
There are moments of trusting in Him who is greater than us all
There are moments of deep abiding love
There are moments when I call upon His tender mercies
There are moments of excruciating pain
There are moments of seeing light at the end of the tunnel
There are moments of knowing that He has not forgotten me
There are moments of redeeming hope
There are moments when I sing with my whole soul
And these are the moments when I turn back to Him, who is the greatest of them all.

Written by:
Jason Cheney
Date: April 2, 2020
Kelly Diaz Mar 2024
you made me miss many moments of my life
moments i cant get back
moments where i could be happy and live life
moments where i could be with my family
moments where i wouldnt have to hide
but i traded them for moments with you
moments where i felt the happiest in a long time
moments where i cried
moments i felt excited
moments where i was neglected
moments i felt safe
moments of hatred
moments i was filled with so much love
moments i should regret
but their moments i cant forget
Michael DeVoe Nov 2009
Moments
Like ordering two mochas
Just to watch you make them
Forgetting your name five times
Before getting your phone number
Wiping chocolate off your shirt
Trying unsuccessfully to flirt my way
Out of spilling on you
Little moments
Like finally having the guts to ask you out
Running to the coffee shop full speed
Just to find out it was your day off
Sulking my way through my third cup of tea
Cursing the fates for their insolence
Right until you walked in to cover someone else's shift
And running out too scared again
Little moments like those
Remind me why I fight through
Big times like these
Little moments
Like driving over the mountains
To get to the first big storm
Just to be the first ones to kiss in the rain
After the summer sun chapped our lips so long
We forgot the taste of our kiss
Little moments
Like the first time I took you out in heels
And you spent the whole night
Whispering to yourself about not falling
Right up until I fell twice
Down a flight of stairs
And for you
Little moments
Like you running over to pick my head up
Off the concrete
Staring at me with this look
That made me want to ask you if you were okay
Little moments
Like that remind me
That the big times like these
Are worth fighting for
That the big fights like these
Are worth ending
If only for the shot to have one more
Little moment
Like
A movie perfect scene in the snow
With snow ball fights, snow angels
And a snow man with coal for buttons
Eyes, mouth, sticks for arms and a scarf
But we didn't have a carrot
So you ran upstairs, broke off one of your heels
And called him Stalleto-face for a week
Little moments
Like
Burning three attempts at chicken cord en bleu
And begging the old woman on the phone
To put in one more order before they closed
And tipping $100 just to have the chance
To eat midnight fried rice on the living room floor
Because the table was full of
Foiled attempts at cooking
Little moments
Like those
So dear to me
Remind me there is no fight too big
To give up little moments with you
A collection of poems by me is available on Amazon
Where She Left Me - Michael DeVoe
http://goo.gl/5x3Tae
Casey Jan 2015
Moments.
Moments of 'I can do this',
or I can't,
or I will,
or I won't?
Moments of uncertainty,
where its just you,
and its just me.
Moments of temporary bliss,
because I know it doesn't last,
and I know this doesn't stay like this.
Moments of seeing the good in the bad,
matched with the bad in the good.
Moments where I think I'm okay.
Moments where I think its that day.
Moments of desire,
when I desire the wrong person,
and that desire can't seem so desirable anymore.
But I wrongly desire it anyways.
Moments of stop! (red light),
and GO (green light),
and 'I don't even know what I'm doing.' (yellow light?).
Moments.
Take the moments as they are and run.
Run for your life.
Lazlo Mehl Sep 2014
My moments with you
Have been undeniable true
Moments of pure pleasure
Moment of pure pain
Hurt beyond measure
But love beyond treasure
Sweet moments off loving
Unhappy moments of tears
We have shared all these moments
Throughout our years
We both treasure these moments
Each and every day
Moments are our memories
Those moments are our hearts
We've had many moments
And still do each year
These little moments we treasure
And will always cherish
For many years to come
EVERY NOW AND THEN
I THINK OF YOU
YOUR ON MY MIND
FROM MORNING TO NIGHT

THE WORDS YOU SAY
IT HELPS TO FIND MY WAY
PRECIOUS TO ME YOU ARE

PRECIOUS MOMENTS THAT LAST
LESSONS FROM AFAR
YOU ARE MY SHINING STAR
PRECIOUS MOMENTS, PRECIOUS MOMENTS

WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU?
SO MANY TIMES I WANTED TO GIVE UP
YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION

PRECIOUS MOMENTS
PRECIOUS MOMENTS
PRECIOUS MOMENTS
PRECIOUS MOMENTS

I'M LIVING EACH DAY
TO LEARN FROM THE PAST
YOU HELPED ME FIND MY WAY
OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST

PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF YESTERDAY
PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF TODAY
I'M LIVING EACH DAY
YOU HELPED ME FIND MY WAY
PRECIOUS MOMENTS

THE WORDS YOU SAY
IT MAKES FOR A BETTER DAY
YOU HELPED ME FIND MY WAY
PRECIOUS MOMENTS,
when it's late at night i want you; i crave you
and your beautiful smile and the way you joke
and how when you laugh your whole body moves
with it.

i crave those moments when you're most vulnerable
and sincere, the moments when it's so early in the
morning you can no longer pick out the ugly
thoughts from the pretty ones; the moment
when everything just gets thrown down onto
the screen like a huge pile of confusion and thoughts.

i crave those moments when you look at me for
a split second and seem to care about me more than
just as that person always there for you. the moments
when you look at me and seem to want me too, under
all the confusion and pain.

i crave those moments when you two are away, and
i don't have to be reminded that the moments we have are
mediocre in comparison. completely and utterly mediocre.

i crave those moments when i can go to sleep and enter my
own reality, where i can just forget it all and not have to pretend
any longer about anything.

i crave those moments when your eyes form gentle creases
on the side of your face when you finally are not smiling to
please, but because you are actually happy.

i crave those moments when i write and i am not forced
to cry; those moments when i can write about 1am and
almost 1am and talking to you and being happy, those
moments when i have hopes for the future.

but i also crave those moments when i cannot crave anymore,
because the pain seems to be too much for me to handle
Jamie Nov 2016
Its these moments I am thankful for,
these small moments that to anyone else
might seem insignificant

Theses small moments with
your head resting on my shoulder
love caressing your smile
like a gentle wind

It is these moments that I live for
these small moments that to anyone else
might seem insignificant

These small moments where
our eyes meet and
I see the same person I met
on that very first day so long ago

These small moments where
I feel your hand in mine
rough and weary but still
holding on to me like you did in the
beginning

These small moments when
I smile at our picture beside our bed
when you nestle beside me
drawing my body back into yours

These small moments when
you look at me and I know
just like I did that day
You are mine, I am yours

These small moments that
I will treasure forever
keep them locked inside a tiny box
in my heart

And I will give you the key
Stacy Mills Mar 2017
I'm a mom
I have two jobs
It seems I'm working
all the time
If not on the job
on my family
I wouldn't say I'm beautiful
But I have my moments
I wouldn't say I'm smart
But I have my moments
I wouldn't say I'm talented
But I have my moments
I despise drama
But it can't be avoided
I yearn for my soul mate
But that can't b found
Some days I'm depressed
And most days I'm not
I wouldn't say I'm a *****
But I have my moments
I wouldn't say I'm unkind
But I have my moments
I wouldn't say I'm a pushover
But I have my moments
I think everyone is a little of everything
With flecks of nothing
Smeared in greys and blacks
Speckled with rainbows and sun
A little lost
A little found
A best friend
A worst enemy
I wouldn't say I make sense
But I have my moments
I wouldn't say I'm an idiot
But I have my moments
I wouldn't say I know what I'm doing
But I have my moments
Maybe I'm too bossy
Maybe I'm a bad mom
Maybe I'm  A natural born leader
Maybe I'll fail at everything
Maybe one day I'll get it together
Maybe I am doing everything right
I wouldn't say ..........
but I have my moments
Melanie Kate Nov 2010
Moments like these racing through me:
Looking out the bus window,
stacks of lights
in square, blinded blocks of cement.
Golden trees
turning brown and barren.
But moments like these,
I'm miles away, I'm someplace else.



Moments like these passing me by:
As I wonder through streets,
alleyways wafting in dark sewerage;
Seafood bistros glaring at me.
My hips sway, my feet sink
into exotic sand, sunshine warm.
Floating effortlessly along the dead concrete,
opening my tiny door; this nutshell abode.


And I can’t breathe here
without moments like these.
They are the broken pieces
of my longing heart.
Slowly keeping me together
in these moments’ reality.


Moments like these, slipping, speeding away:
Like endless traffic in angry madness,
in cities that awaken in darkening hours.
The tranquil silence in my heart
guides me to your faces.
One by one I dream for each;
For all the things we want, the good things we need;
For happiness, love, success.
Each thought embedded, embroidered
into moments like these:
Sitting on a bed, millions of miles away,
a cold, rainy day –
A heart beating for moments not these.



(c) Mel D.  Ltd. 2010
(C) MKD 2010
LP S May 2014
It's such a strange thing,
falling in love,
and the way the things you fall in love with,
change with the seasons,
or as various lovers even strangers,
enter and exit our existence,
as time passes.
And it's extraordinary how love
seems to warp time.
How it moves too slowly
when love is sad,
but far too quickly
when the love is good,
how you fall in and out of love
faster than you can say the words,
or the tears can form
on the inside corners of the eyes.
The tears that don't ever fall,
but linger just long enough
to melt the mascara on the fine lashes,
that only seem to be evident
during moments like these.
The moments when people look most like themselves.
Moments of weakness.
The same moments when you realize
that the movies are liars,
and songs are rarely written from truth.
Because people don't find their soulmates
in the spontaneous moments of passing,
but in the everyday moments.
Real people don't fall in love
during the dramatic, desperate, lonely moments
but the quiet
simple moments.
For I once fell in love with a beautifully ordinary boy
as he slept soundly
on the other side of my mattress at 4am.
Because he'd never shown me
any of the private memories he had survived
and that night he'd told me everything,
and whispered that without me
he always slept, but couldn't dream.
And once during a quiet evening
on a couch,
in a small town in Connecticut,
in front of Lord of the Rings,
while we'd laughed about all the things,
we'd somehow forgotten to laugh about
over the course of growing older.
And then a third time in your car,
on a rainy afternoon
while we had danced horrendously and sang off key
to an old mix you had burned back in
God knows when.
Where you knew every line,
and I'd rolled down the windows
despite the rain,
to hold my arm out like I was flying,
like we had when we were kids,
and you had smiled at me like I was magic..
These have been the moments in which
I have fallen in love.
Never during the movie-esque moments,
but in the ordinary moments.
The moments in which,
I never expected to fall in love at all.
there are moments when i think i want you more than i want hot chocolate on a cold winters day or a nice book to read and warm tea when its raining out. moments i think i want you more than seeing my favourite band live, moments that seem so tangible i could almost grab them out of my mind and form them into something real. there are moments that i feel like i need you or your comfort more than i need the clothes on my back, more than i need the shelter on my head. there are moments when my chest begins to tighten and my lungs begin to close, moments where i think that i can't breath, moments where i wonder how i havent died yet. there are moments when i begin to fill my head with dreams higher in the clouds than the airplane we flew on goes, moments when i feel like i need him more than the soil needs water. there are moments where i realize how lonely i am and how sad i am because of it, moments where i realize that everything i want is too elaborate in my own mind, that the plot line of this fails every time because it is already written in my head and erased in yours.

there are moments where i sway from love to hate, from happiness to tears. but i read somewhere that means that you really love someone; someone who makes you experience that. and i think about that a lot.
Maxim Keyfman Jul 2018
these were wonderful moments
moments when the sun is in summer
these were the moments when
I found the first love in my life

this summer I will remember forever
because that's where my happiness was
This summer will be my main source
of great great inspiration

these were wonderful moments
moments when the sun is in summer
these were the moments when
I found the first love in my life

I met her beautiful red-haired
a girl with blue bright eyes
and we met summer together
and we parted with him

these were wonderful moments
moments when the sun is in summer
these were the moments when
I found the first love in my life

her will always remain in me
in my eyes and in my soul
and when suffering will overwhelms me
I remember her and the fire will come again
that will save me

06.03.18
Kayla Wozniak Nov 2010
Moments are what capture life's greatest achievements
They are photographs worth 1000 words
Thoughts in your head too good to be put on paper
Moments are what last a lifetime
Emotions captured forever
Life changers or happy endings
Moments are captured anywhere or anyplace
Everyday creates a lifetime of moments
A look, a glance
Moments are created by everyone
They can help you set your destiny or pick your future
Moments help you remember the finer things of life
As life passes by you will always have your favorite moments worth remembering
Good and bad times remembered
Moments are what capture life's greatest achievements.
I'm open  for suggestions on this poem. I'm not really sure if i like it
HOOPS11 Mar 2015
In moments like these you need a shoulder to cry on,
but nobody's around so you try to sleep on it till dawn.

In moments like these you just don't care what happens to you,
people around you act like they already knew.

In moments like these depression is eating you away,
you don't see colour in the world all you see is black and grey.

In moments like these you need someone to talk to,
but you cant bring yourself to say it so you try to break through.

In moments like these you think your not good enough,
you put yourself down because you know it's too tough.

In moments like these you just don't want to live,
because there is no other way because they won't forgive.

In moments like these you need determination and strength,
because you don't know if you will hold up till the end.

In moments like these you stare at the sky,
you think what it would be like,so this is my goodbye.
The word 'you' is referring to me,sometimes i like to refer to myself in second person.
Destre' Sep 2016
I have moments
I have moments where things fall away
Where the world is fuzzy
I have moments where things fade to grey
Where the world becomes dark
I have these moments where I can't think
Where I want to scream
I have these moments I can't explain
And yet, I have moments
I have moments where everything seems clear
Where things start to become light
These moments when the world flushes back to color
And I start to write
I have moments where I get lost
Ameer Pather May 2018
My life has been moulded by mere moments.
Simple moments, that when I look back,
Seem insignificant at most.
Yet the weight of these moments are immense!

Simple and minute moments that I
appreciate.
It is within these moments I have found solitude.
Within these moments, I have found peace or happiness.
Within these moments, deciding factors that has lead me to live!

These are moments that may seem tiny!
Meeting someone and becoming family!
Experiencing a car accident and learning to live more!
A sports injury, that taught me to relax more.

There is one moment, that I did not see coming.
A moment, that has not only redefined my future,
But has shown me to build my future around it.
That moment? Meeting her!
it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when(being fool to fancy)i have deemed

with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds

the genuine apparition of your smile
(it was through tears always)and silence moulds
such strangeness as was mine a little while;

moments when my once more illustrious arms
are filled with fascination, when my breast
wears the intolerant brightness of your charms:

one pierced moment whiter than the rest

—turning from the tremendous lie of sleep
i watch the roses of the day grow deep.
CLStewart Sep 2015
Just a few moments away-
In just a few moments I will embark on a journey to start over- In just a few short moments I will leave behind a residue of times forever caught- In just a few moments I will seek her lips on mine as a weather vane meets the rain...and the  gulls fly overhead bringing that familiar sea salt presence-
Just a few moments away-
Billie Marie May 2020
The mind collects moments
bad ones and weepy ones
moments to spark fires
and ignite engines
moments to roast the heart upon a spit
to watch the ****** sizzling juices of love
drip down and burn off into smoke
the mind is a storehouse
though vast isn’t spacious
its compartments crammed
full to popping
under the strain
of all the moments in time it collects
to make the body recall
and you gawk at the wreckage
in wondrous amazement

moments in bubbles
floating past on repeat
mind digs in the toy chest
throwing up dreams
more moments of nothing
to hold you away from me
two nations at war for my soul
and all three are me
what mind fudgery
and horrific intent
the whole point is you
just you, nothing else
think what that reality means
whatever you like
life isn’t a playbook of rules
some other person can write
real life is lived
and what can that mean?
other than whatever life looks like
when you’re living through me

each time you can’t see the forest in the leaves
the moments you seem to pull back out of me
are only a specter of what isn’t true
only a reminder to remember your Truth
and turn once again to the Self that is real
and is one with the whole of all life that is living
can you gain joy from rehearsing old stories?
of worries and woes and doubtful discoveries
of fake images and faulty dreamscapes
then go on, by all means, let mind keep collecting
and storing away
for some other fake day
you can’t really be living
if you keep letting mind
give you moments to see
instead of real life
living in your True Self
and you truly seeing
Confusion.
Then, words come slowly;
nothing behind them but space.
Our very existence is comprised of one moment replacing the next. After its role in the greatly debated, but as yet unknown grand scheme, each moment is replaced by yet another, just as it has from whatever beginning there may have been to whatever end may come.
        The earliest moments of eons ago are lost to us as if they never existed at all, and came to pass despite our knowledge of such, just as eons from now, every moment we experience will be lost, just as if it had never been at all, to whatever conscious entities may dwell in such impending recesses of time...just as the moments each one of us have not found to be significant enough to remember in our own personal conscious awareness have already been lost to us, both individually and as a collective whole, despite having been. The tragedy of this is that far more moments are forgotten than will ever be remembered, despite every single moment having an impact on the next, even if it appears that it does not.
        Why, then, do the moments remembered seem to have so much more of an impact upon us and the moments to come than the moments we have forgotten? Because they are the moments that create and destroy. They are the moments that bring sorrow and joy. They are the moments that matter most, for whatever significance they hold. They are the moments that make the greatly debated, but as yet unknown grand scheme so grand.
        This moment…this very moment…this is the moment for each of us to make every remaining moment in our conscious awareness a moment to remember, for all too soon, our moment will be gone, and the only thing that will ever matter is what we made of each moment in our own moment of existence.
The first line is supposed to be tabbed, but whether I tab or space, it posts it with no indention. I know that for some, paragraphs are not considered poetry, but for me, it is, because it is still my thoughts bleeding out just as if the layout were otherwise.
DElizabeth Mar 2021
I just want to
hold your hand
when you experience
your best moments
sad moments
successful moments
dark moments
imperfect moments
exciting moments
sleepy and bored moments
lost moments
authentic moments
adventurous moments
lowest of the lows
& your sensitive moments.
Something as simple as
being there for you
when you need me to be.
I want you to want me to be.
I want to make sure
we are in this together.
Zoe Dec 2014
I know things are alright
and that they will actually get better
and if not better
they will get worse
but only for a moment
Only for a moment will the happiness last
the sadness
All life is
is moments
Moments on top of moments
Lessons on top of lessons
Hardships on top of ****** hardships
All for the big moment
which is life
I have come to despise moments
good or bad
I find no reason
I find it repetitive
I find the hardships especially a waste of time,
because why in all of these little moments
adding up to just one singular big moment
would there be pain in hardships?
Moments
I find there is no reason
Lessons
why have them, if the lesson itself is temporary
Hardships
why endure pain when all this is
is a
Moment
Michael Ambrosio Aug 2024
The current day is May 1st, 2024. I believe I might have found Brianna. And she’s gone. . .

About eight years ago from this date, I would have my first encounter with this mysterious girl. With all of this having taken course over such a long amount of time, a lot of the details are blurry compared to how solidified they used to be to me. But, back to the first encounter, although encounter sounds more like a passive aggressive frightening experience, I’m not sure what other word I might use to describe it. Maybe it was a chance meeting or divine intervention, but encounter gets the meaning across a bit more fluently, as every time I would find this girl I would be in total shock, utter disarray, and my heart would beat so fast I’d feel as though a heart attack was right around the corner.

The first time I ever met her was through a dream. . .

I can’t remember what this particular dream was. I’m not exactly sure what happened in it, why I found it so profound, or how it even got me to begin thinking about this girl. All I know was that it got my attention and I began to pay attention to this idea, this one night miracle where I first met this mysterious woman.

The night I had that dream, I’m pretty sure I thought nothing of it. Who doesn’t have a dream every so often where they’ve met their true love, their other half, their once in a lifetime love of their life? I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic and I’ve always known that this was one of my deeply ingrained character traits. From my first ever year in school in first grade, I had a very large crush on this girl, Ashley Amaya, and I remember wanting so badly to be her crush as well. I even remember a moment from school when I saw a spider crawling towards her and me while walking across a paved walkway to get to our next class, and I leapt towards it and crushed it, despite having a massive fear of the little demons at the time. But, I did it to impress her!

All that to say, the first dream wasn’t extraordinary, and instead it was just another more than usual somber morning when I woke up only to realize the beautiful woman I had just met was probably a mixture of something I ate and some tv show I’d probably seen the afternoon before. Time would go by, the memory of that first dream fading to the farthest recess of my mind with only a hint of any remote recognition still reminiscing in the deepest abyss of my head.

But, this is when what started out as a dream began to become a bit more substantial. This is when Brianna began to plague my mind.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I began to have recurring dreams of being in love with this mysterious woman. She began to become more familiar in a very inconvenient and unreliable way which was of course through the remembering of my dreams. In the beginning stages, I’d only ever catch glimpses of her face and the reset was usually a silhouette or a very rushed moment. The rushed moments were hard to describe but they were full of light, always this wonderful warm yellow light and though they were rushed, time also slowed down significantly in a perplexing way that I still can’t really understand to this day.

I’d see her dark brown hair flowing and filtering the light into these tiny and magnificent rays making a twinkling in what was usually a dark atmosphere. I’d catch the corner of her mouth turning ever so slightly into a warm beautiful smile as she looked away, something else in the vicinity stealing her attention for the moment. There were intense feelings of joy and tranquility and there was a warmth about the situation I could only hope to ever feel in the true cold and lightless world we all collectively call home. Something about her was so intensely special, and the fact that I even got to share a dream with her was the highest privilege I could’ve ever received.

As time would go on, I’d continue to have these dreams. She always stayed the same, with her long dark brownish red hair flowing ever so gracefully. It got to the point that when I would have these dreams, I would’ve preferred to not wake up, just so I could spend more time with her.

Over a year would go by. At this point in life I was still just in high school and still brand new to learning life in the real world compared to the sheltered view I used to have. I had just gotten a job at the local Home Depot as a cashier, literally a few weeks after I got my license since my parents were unwilling to pay for gas for me (as good parents should do!) I was still figuring out life with my friend groups and trying to balance the reality of starting to become more mature and take on more responsibilities while still trying to cling to my childhood of digging holes and bashing legos against the wall with my brothers! It was an odd time, which I guess many can easily familiarize themselves with the timeframe as we’ve all at one point been teenagers.

One of the biggest things in my life I remember being a bit troublesome though, was all my friends I had made and my groups of people I had become so entangled with. With going through these changes, I had some friends that were still absolute children at heart and some friends who were practically ready for college! I had loads of moments through those years where these friends I had grown up with would start to feel like strangers and I’d begin to not really feel as though I had a social place to call my own.

Work was a new outlet, and I actually used to love talking to people as a cashier, ringing up their items, and learning the social norm of small talk that would amount to nothing less than an afterthought. I made a lot of friends with people who were retired and with college kids who seemed to be the coolest bunch around, who knew how to live life and have fun doing it. It was such a variety of friends where I’d talk to Tina about her granddaughter or Jim about his retirement and stock options and then I’d go up to Isaiah and he’d tell me about all the dates he’d been on or all the party stories of him and his friends living life to the fullest. It was a pretty great time in my life though, because one thing especially it taught me was how to be social, though this process would still take years and years to fully develop until I was in my early 20’s to be fully confident in my ability to put it on and be charismatic if need be. The reason I mention so much about this job though, was there was still a deep  and unrecognized subconsciously aware desire in me to meet the one.

Home Depot of all places was the first time I saw her. In person. . .

I remember it was a day much like the rest of them. After having struck up some conversation with our customers and being a little groggy from waking up at the crack of dawn for the early shift, it was time for me to finally get some lunch. While taking my usually route from the front of the hardware store I stopped at my usual coworkers stations to say hi or make a passive joke as I strolled happily on my way.

I can’t exactly remember why, but I had the need to talk to one of my managers, and it was something I needed a response for by the end of the day, so I figured before I clocked out for lunch, I’d get that little task out of the way. But, on the way back to my manager’s office, which was this little 10 foot hallway with doors on either side, one leading to a bank of sorts, and the other side hosting two doorways to offices, I was stopped in my tracks. Right next to the old clock-in machine were two seats where you’d usually sit and wait if the manager’s doors were closed so you could catch them as they walked out. They were also the seats I had sat in when waiting to get an interview for this first job of mine, where I nervously and anxiously awaited the outcome so many years ago.

In one of those broken down, flat cushioned little seats was a girl so beautiful, I literally lost my breath at the sight of her. I knew immediately who she was. She was the girl from my dreams I had been having over the course of that past year or so. Recently through my dreams, I had learned a very crucial detail about her and that was that her name was Brianna, and there sitting right before me within a few steps walk was the girl.

I froze. I made eye contact. And I immediately turned around and walked away. How I wish beyond wishing I would’ve said hi now. . .

Seeing that my manager was currently in the process of onboarding her as a new employee, I decided to take up my little question with my manager a bit later and I went to lunch. While walking into our break room, I ran into one of my new co-workers who I had become pretty good friends with. His name was Brad Brad.

At this point in time, I had more of an idea and more of a recognition of the fact that these recurring dreams of mine were something special, though I hardly let anyone know because of how embarrassing and odd it was. I mean, who would go around blindly telling people about some chick that they’d been dreaming of that they were totally in love with?? (Definitely not me eight years late. . . ) But with Brad Brad, I trusted him and had told him about the story a few days prior to running into her.

Not knowing her name and only having seen her face, I walked up to my friend and asked him about the new possible employee. He immediately knew who I was referring to her as he had seen her just a bit ago and apparently gotten to know her slightly! I asked him if her name was Brianna, being almost definitively sure that that was her name, and just wanting to check to see if I was either certifiably insane, or possibly blessed with this odder than life knowledge.

Brad immediately confirmed her name was Brianna and asked if I had spoken with her, and this immediately had me out of breath, terrified of how the girl from my dreams was truly true and realer than life. I don’t remember exactly how the rest of the conversation went down, though I can safely assume I was blabbering like a lunatic and telling him every single detail of every single dream I had had of her before. I walked out to get lunch knowing that I’d finally become acquainted with Brianna over time in the work atmosphere which was a relief to me, knowing how social I was at work while in comparison to how introverted and quiet I was at school. Life was looking to good to be true.

Brianna, didn’t get the job.

A few days would go by and my excitement to go to work was through the roof. Never before had I had so eagerly gotten in my car, driven to work, and immediately clocked in in hopes of seeing this new girl around the work place. A week would go by and my thoughts of her were still as excited as ever, but I began to realize that there was still training, a full on hiring process, and that it would most likely take time for things to get in motion. A few weeks would go by and then a month and an unsettling worry began to haunt me as I started to wonder if she didn’t actually get the job.

I started going around asking all of my fellow co-workers if they knew her or if they had any ideas of if we were hiring anyone new. I became obsessed with what we called the, “war board,” which was a schedule of all cashiers’ schedules for the day, what departments they would work in and so forth so on. But, I never saw Brianna’s name pop up, and I began to realize that I might have missed my one and only chance of getting to talk to Brianna.

As time progressed I finally decided it was time to talk to Brad about this new girl since he had been the only one I had talked to about her, and this is when the strangest thing ever happened. Brad had absolutely no idea who I was talking about. He could tell I was obsessed with the idea though and he saw how persistent I was that I had had the conversation with him before, and he even sympathetically lied to me about knowing her just to appease my insanity by saying,

“Ohhhh yeahhhhhhhhh! I remember who you’re talking about!”

I was crushed that the only person who knew her didn’t remember her and at the time I’m unsure of why I didn’t ask my manager to see if they knew who I was talking about. Maybe it was embarrassment or the thought of not being able to see other potential employee’s information that scared me. Either way, I wish I had asked more and been more determined in finding information on what had happened to Brianna.

Months and months on end would go by and the fascination with work would disappear as I got older. I’d check the war board on a pretty consistent basis always hoping that by some miracle, Brianna would show up to work for the day! And even though we eventually would go on to hire an incredible Brianna that I’d become such dear friends with, she wasn’t the same one.

I remember how I used to day dream about Brianna walking into the store and how I would recognize her and how we’d instantly fall in love. Especially on those hot hot Summer days when I was stuck in the garden department with nothing but my thoughts and a dream. As life began to progress though, I realized I didn’t want to only dream about Brianna. . . but I wanted to find her! What good was all my wallowing around if I didn’t make any active attempts to find her!

Thus began, the searching for Brianna. What might just be an everlasting one. . .

I began to take a reality check on this recurring girl who haunted my every thought and when wondering on how I would find a girl from my literal dreams, I thought maybe the first best place to look would be there! Literally in my dreams. I took on an idea I had borrowed from the movie Inception where first thing in the morning, if you try to remember your dreams you’d have a better chance of seeing more details.

Doing more research into this line of thought, I read about dream journals and how some people keep entries of their nightly subconscious activities in order to become better at what’s called lucid dreaming, where basically, you have full and utter control of the dream and realize that you’re in it while still sleeping. My dream journal over time would start to slowly fill and fill with some pretty crazy stories and hilarious dreams. Actually, I wonder if I still have it. If I can find it, I’ll drought down one of my entries here for you to read. . . whoever “you” might be.

I won’t lie when I say I found it in about one minute. It was sitting on my desk right next to me. Oddly enough, my first journal entry is far further in this story than I thought as it was written on October 9th, 2022 (thank God I wrote down dates!) Here goes my first entry.

10-09-22 (#1)

My first dream, I remember being at Home Depot, working while pushing carts. I was very sick and delusional and the atmosphere was rainy and dark. All I could feel was gloom and sadness. There was no one to help me which added to the exhaustion. A customer managed to break 3 carts in half and I had to try and fix them, but I couldn’t. The feeling of wanting to go home was very strong.

10-09-22 (#2)

This time I was in a small class with two other men. It was our first day and our professor was already making us write books worth of homework. But, she soon assigned us Minecraft assignments and the rest of the class was devoted to playing Minecraft. A mixture of falling while playing the game repeatedly occurred and was frightening, yet exhilarating and fun.

Though my timeline of the dream journal and me beginning to write it might be skewed in this story I’ve been telling, as you can see from October 9th’s dreams of the year 2022, it was in fact something I started to do. There were quite a few pages from this journal missing and I can’t recall if they were pages of old homework from school and the notebook was one I self-recycled or not. But, I thought I had started writing these way earlier in my life. Maybe one day, I’ll write up all of these dreams into some sort of official funny document, but as of right now, they’ll all stay in that book. It might honestly be for the better!

Either way, it’s obviously apparent that I became obsessed with this idea of Brianna and I began to play my life events in my head over and over again, and this might have been harmful to me later on, but at the early stages of these occurrences, I was very much into reading. Being the introvert that I was in school, and having no access to a smart device, I used to read so so so many books all the time! My best friend in high school wasn’t any other student really but the faculty and staff, specifically our school librarian Mrs. Hogue.

Every time I’d walk into that library which was probably like twice a week, she’d see me and know it was time for me to become obsessed with a new story or spend the next however many months of my life engrossed in a series. I absolutely loved Mrs. Hogue and while she was very strict with all the other obnoxious kids, she loved me too. We used to talk about life and such and the day I graduated, she was one of the people I made sure of to talk to her and wish her a goodbye to.

Anyways, this obsession with writing and reading of mine was one that really flourished during high school due to these circumstances. It feels rather odd writing now when I haven’t gone about it aside from formal essays and school work since specifically 2018.

2018 was the year that I decided to run with a lot of these creative concepts my mind had created over Brianna and turn them into an actual book with full on character development, a family for Brianna, a place to live and friendships and occupations of all sorts! This is why I mentioned just earlier that this might’ve been more harmful to me, because, sometimes I can’t remember with Brianna what’s memories and what’s a figment of my imagination developed by a creative and passionate former younger writer of myself.

Either way, at this point in my life you could tell I was so devoted to the idea of Brianna being a real person, and this one specific idea plagued me like no other.

The idea was that Brianna was also dreaming of me and that we could only communicate through our collective dreams.

This idea for a young hopeless romantic was intensely alluring and from this idea became the now published and only book of mine, “The Fracture of Reality.” In this book, there’s two main characters named Ian and Brianna. Ian oddly enough matches almost identically all my physical and intellectual traits, some of the only differences being him having a place of his own, a pretty successful job and a bit more muscle, almost as though he were a version of myself I hope to one day be.

Brianna, well, she was and is the Brianna that I know.

The premise of this book was, well how should I put it? Better yet, I’ll just plug in the summary from the back of the book I wrote many years ago!

“Dreams and reality are relatively similar terms. Dreams describe and amplify events that occur in reality whereas reality can capture what little glimpses of the dreams remain. But, it never occurred to me that the two could blur together. Only when it was too late did I start to realize that reality was fracturing…”

Although this summary doesn’t really expound on what the book was about, only now do I find it so profound that I established this saying, this line of thought while I was still younger. I’ll write to you now that the basic premise of the story was a bit of a thriller! Ian begins to have these dreams where he meets and speaks to this mysterious tranquil and beautiful girl. He starts to fall in love with her as he slowly begins to realize that she is in fact real and having dreams of him also. But, with his dreams comes the slow beginning of his down fall where his dreams start to predict horrific events that will occur relatively soon. Along with the dreams comes the mental breaking down of his sanity with a deadly progression exponentially on it’s way to happen far too soon. Through the connecting of his dreams, he needs to find Brianna who he hopes when finding her, will stop the terrifying decline of his conscious nature.

In the end, and [insert spoiler warning here hehe], Ian finally meets up with Brianna only to have one of his dreams predict a horrible event of him and her being hunted by some men that Brianna had gotten in bad with during her youthfully naïve years. The story ends with Brianna and Ian in a cottage after Ian in real life has been shot. The story ends with Ian being unsure as to whether or not his dream reality is real life, or if his reality with the pain of the bullet in him is the truth. Brianna tells him that it doesn’t matter, and tries to convince him that the current peaceful reality that they’re currently in? That that moment and that present feeling is real, and that’s what really truly matters.

Look at me, doing a synopsis of my own books six years later! Writing this book and creating my dream journal and doing research was really the first phase of my obsession with Brianna. The older I’d get though, the more it’d become real to me. I’m unsure as to whether the past eight years of my life has made this idea so authentically real to me, but now I see this all as fact rather than speculation and a possible decline in my sanity that I used to be subconsciously aware of.

More years would progress in my life and would lead to the graduation of my high school and the starting up of college at my community college. There, I’d me one of my best friends which will most likely be my best friend for life KJ, but it was also a time of maturing and shying away from the ideas of Brianna as much. Rather than focusing on the idea of her, instead I got so busy with work at Home Depot, balancing friendships at community college, and still trying to socialize with my family that I hardly thought of her.

But, circumstances would change and even though I went a while without thinking about her, she was always there. When I began my first semester at Columbia State and accidentally sat next to this absolutely beautiful girl named, you guessed it, “Brianna,” I thought that she was her! Only to find out like literally two days into the semesters that she was married, whoops! But I still became friends with her and weird stuff like that would occur every so often, but at this point in time, life was changing so rapidly and my mind was always so distracted that Brianna began to fade.

I’d still have my occasional dreams and when those hit, it’d be more difficult than it used to be. The feeling of wanting to stay in those dreams was so strong and so hard to swallow when I woke up and realized it’d only been in my head.

With school starting though, my priorities changed a lot in life! My job was the least of my concerns at Home Depot and I’d more often than not skip all of my shifts as it always drained me of all my energy having to socialize with a bunch of people I didn’t care for or care about. All the small talk became irritating and whenever I was there, I guess I had come to associate that little hardware store with the idea of loss and gloom. I mean, if my dream journal didn’t speak enough for itself, I think it’s because I missed out on my one and only chance to actually talk to Brianna.

My new priorities were to make as many friends as possible and to turn this new page in life and that’s exactly what I did! I was incredibly social and went out of my way to introduce myself to total strangers just to try and escape the old Mike and pursue a new version of him.

It wouldn’t take long for Brianna to come back to me though.

Nobody that tells you how quickly life goes by can truly explain the depths of what that means and you sort of need to experience it yourself, and with the pandemic of Covid-19 happening around 2020, those two years at community school and the two years at MTSU would go by like a wisp of air. Like a breath, **** the time went by. Sure there was quite a bit of stuff that happened throughout that time, like me beginning to fall in love with creating content through YouTube about Minecraft, getting internships and freelance work for my degree as a Graphic Designer where I won competitions and published my art in many places and had the opportunities to be in a crazy high end internship.

But the amount of time, was just literally gone. I was too busy. Brianna became an afterthought.

That is, until fairly recently. To drop some dates for you, I created my first official youtube channel on September 18th, 2019 and published my first video four years ago a day after I made the channel. At first, my channel of Minecraft specific content was created both to prove to my brothers that I could create content as incredible as the youtubers we watched, but it was also just in hopes of turning it into an actual career since it was something I genuinely was okay at. Having had architecture for for years in high school Minecraft felt like a more creative and liberating way to express those abilities and live them out in an actual environment I had created. But also, Minecraft was an excuse for me to turn off my mind.

Covid and the pandemic was sort of the greatest thing to ever happen to me, because it gave me so much time to think and play this wonderful game. I know I mentioned above how I didn’t think about Brianna that much, and that part is true, but when I had those dry moments of playing Minecraft and grinding out some simple tasks of literally just breaking and placing blocks, my mind would wander to her. I used to choose the most essentially mind numbing tasks of mining for hours upon hours which only consisted of holding down a button and occasionally moving your character around to mine some more. But though the task was completely and utterly boring, my mind was active as ever thinking and wondering about Brianna.

Finding these quiet moments in life were far and few between, but I began to cherish them. All the moments from day dreaming while mowing the lawn and sweating to death in the 100 degree sun, to sitting in my car after a long first four hours at Home Depot while staring at a semi-vacant parking lot, to even just the long walks across my enormous campus at MTSU or the long walk from parking spots I chose purposefully to be super far away from my campus at Columbia State. These moments while rare, gave me a chance to keep Brianna at least in the back light of all the real life moments I was constantly distracted and thrown around with.

But, going back to Minecraft when I got into youtube, this changed everything.

I went from having at least some spare moments to having literally no moments at all. The only time I would rest was when I had experienced such bad burn out from trying to do everything everywhere all at once, and between that and the occasional sleep I would get, my mind had no time to think. I still can easily get into that workaholic mind set sometimes and it’s a dangerous one to be in, but I’ve gotten better as I’ve figured out why I believe I fell into that mindset in the first place.

The reason was to escape Brianna’s grasp.

As I went through school hanging out with friends and making new one’s internationally through the development of an ever expanding youtube channel, I had just about no time for anything. The only time I had to stop and think was my 10 minute drive to get food and even in those moments, I had no time to think, because I was too busy driving trying not to get killed by crazy drivers.

Three years of school went by before I finally said that enough was enough. With school being as difficult as it was, I decided to “retire” from my newfound love of youtube because in all honesty, it was driving me mad. My retirement video from Minecraft came out on December 5th, 2022. I stepped away from the never ending grind and set out to enjoy life and the little moments that life offered.

The only problem with this was that my mind began to ponder Brianna once again.

At this time in my life, after retiring I was actually working for a famous youtuber named PrestonPlayz. It was a random freelance job and for the past year or so I had been jumping from freelance to freelance work with little regards to cost and payments real life had always waiting around the corner for me.

This would make me end up ultimately getting a job back at Home Depot for a few months to pay off debts I had incurred from being financially stupid and buying stuff I didn’t really need. But, between all the financial problems and weird life situations I had so much more time to think about Brianna. The dreams of her still occurred every so often but the frequency at which they had started to occur was less and less. Maybe this was all due to me reaching a new level of maturity, but I’m still not entirely sure what caused it. Maybe it was the distraction of a busy workaholic life or the hopes to find someone, really anyone that was a girl that would love me that I could love back.

But, like I said my mind began to think about her more and more. I began to see her in my thoughts like I had years ago previously and it almost felt like I was back sliding into some weird territory I had just grown oblivious to with the amount of time that had passed. Either way, that was my life. A jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas all scattered in a brain far too busy to stop and breathe coming to the new age of silence and habit.

With my mind able to breathe, I thought of her again. . . and then I saw her again. . .

I can’t remember the exact day or time of year, but on one of these days of my “retirement” I was driving home after having just gotten some taco bell. (I was obsessed with the place back then) Driving up my street, I saw a girl with long dark curly hair and bright pink clothes, what might have even been pajama pants on her, walking up my street! I didn’t think much of it until I looked into my sider mirror and saw her face and saw that it was the one and only, Brianna.

Brianna was walking up my street right next to my house. In person. Alive and breathing.

I panicked and jumped out of my car with my taco bell nearly crashing to the ground as I roared into park in my driveway with my car. With bare feet, since I used to drive with no shoes when I went to fast food place, I dove onto an aggregate driveway and started running down it, knowing that there was no way on earth I was missing my chance to finally talk to her. I had nothing but time that day, and I was overly excited to finally introduce myself in person

But when I turned around, Brianna was gone. She’d simply vanished into thin air? I still don’t know how or why, but she was gone. . . possibly gone forever. . .

This experience drove my efforts to find her to another level of passion as I began to research through many google forums and sites and social media platforms praying to God that I’d be able to find her. It didn’t matter if I had to cross the entire ocean to get to her, I was going to find Brianna, no matter what.

I started to revisit old ground and went to the Home Depot I had worked at, asking the new manager there if he could search records and being able to find her that way. I found old coworkers I used to work with and asked around trying to find any trail or any lead and couldn’t find a single thing. I even managed to find Brad Brad’s Instagram and messaged him only for him to have literally no idea what I was talking about, go figure.

With nothing working and having literally no idea on what else I could do, I began to passionately work on a project called, “The Bri of My Dreams.” What this basically was was an ARG or alternate reality game which was a puzzle game I setup for my prior youtube community to solve and have fun with. But, it was more than that. It was the telling of the story of Brianna in a way that I could hopefully publicize and gain some popularity on so that maybe instead of me finding Brianna, she’d be able to rather find me! So, I started working on it behind the scenes unbeknownst to anyone in my community that I was going to use this new found passion project to hopefully find her, but also to bring me back to youtube content creation.

To this day, I’m still not sure why I wanted to go back to youtube. Well I know some underlying reasons, that being tied loosely to Brianna, but now many months later still being at it, I’m unsure as to the real reason why I still create stuff on there.

Either way, after creating an entire animated short film with a script and what I consider to be one of my greatest projects of all time, “The Bri of My Dreams” project was finalized and ready to publish. I put it out there hoping that it was only a matter of time before I finally heard from her.

Hardly anyone noticed I’d returned to youtube, let alone my project failing horribly as only close friends I knew even attempted the puzzles.

My final efforts produced literally no results, and well, this brings me to about right now, this moment that I’m actually writing this all down on May 1st 2024 at 4:21 p.m CDT. For the past few hours I’ve written down all of this while listening to The Caretaker album on youtube, a depressing soundtrack meant to represent the stages of alzheimer's.

This morning while sitting around doing nothing really, I looked up Brianna one last time, despite me telling myself I would be done with her after my ARG project. I found a girl, about the same age as me that matched the name and the description. Her father’s name was funnily enough the same as my own, Michael.

What I found about her and her father were obituary statements.

I’m unsure if it’s okay or morally right to even think that might’ve been her, but something I noticed when doing research about Brianna in my earlier days. . . For some odd reason there’s a lot of young beautiful Briannas who unfortunately die in their early 20’s. It’s an odd and horrifying fact I’ve come to know over the past few years through my odder than odd research.

But, this case I found today? Well the exact date this Brianna died on correlated almost exactly when my dreams stopped of her.

I don’t dream of Brianna anymore. I haven’t for years. . .

I think the reason I’m writing this, is my own way of finally saying goodbye. Wherever she is, I hope she’s okay. I hope she’s well. But as for me, life continues to go on and it’s finally time after these past eight years to finally say. . .

Goodbye Brianna. I’ll miss you. . .
Alissa Rogers Mar 2012
In moments of my life
I lie, I do admit.
I try and guard my heart
with my rancor and my wit.

In moments of my life
I gave a piece of myself,
for nothing in turn.
There's always another woman
for whom a man's heart will yearn.

In moments of my life
I doubt I will have a one and all;
one who understands me
when I cut and when I crawl.

In moments of my life
I try and run from my fate.
Yet as I've found,
with growing dread,
I'm already too late.
This is for all the lonely souls like me.
meg Jan 2017
These moments - cold,
in the bathroom,
naked except for the blister plasters
and the indent across my ribs
from the new bra.

Before the eyeliner is scrubbed away.
Before I’m back to that flushed girl
with big dreams.

These moments - fresher
than the rest.

And in the end, always,
I’m churning everything inside me,
making pretty songs. But especially moments
like this.

Moments with clothes curled
on the tiles, with blue clarity,
the moments wondering if it matters
that my **** are lopsided.

Always poetry.

There are boys swimming in my head,
boys I once knew,
boys I might know,
girls I want to find. All
poetry.

Suds down the drain. Sponge on skin.
Every moment in every bathroom -
every grimy, cold bathroom,
stacks of them, in my head.

Holy baths and sloppy showers,
moments for renewal,
moments of ***** thoughts.
Underwear kicked off, inside out,
door locked so only
this moment
exists - here - in front
of the mirror, the same crooked
grimace, the same curious brows.

Moments of steam and condensation,
bed socks twisted together.
Cold weight of wet hair, always
the same cycle. Water
rolling down my back.

I am my own ******, in all these moments.
Claire Elizabeth May 2014
What if things were as they used to be?
The idea of never speaking again makes me feel sad.
Remember the late night talks until 2 in the morning?
The first conversation we had was about murderous cows
And how much you loved me for those moments.
The last one we had over the phone was about my father not taking pride in me
And I started crying, hoping you couldn't hear it through the vast space of emptiness in my voice.
But I think you did and I remember feeling ashamed
Because you didn't deserve to hear me sound that way when you had bigger problems.
It was moments like those that I wanted nothing more than to wake up in the early dawn of the mornings
With the pale sunlight washing over the bed sheets and your mussed hair.
It was in those moments that I wanted to go to parties with you and get drunk
And say things I would never say sober
Secrets about myself that I didn't think I had
It was moments like those that I forgot about my family issues
Or my own issues and your issues
It was moments like those that I loved you too much to physically feel.
I couldn't express the fullness I felt in the dead of night when it felt like we were the only two alive.
It was in moments like those that I started thinking about the possibility of not staying together forever
And it was those moments that I got out your proclamation of love that I had written down
I would stare at it and smile and giggle and think about what I did right to be with you
I wasn't sure if I was good enough to stay
Stella Matutina Feb 2017
It’s tough to write a happy poem.
The poems about the nasty,
Gritty,
Gut wrenching stuff-
I got it down.
But a happy poem?
That’s gonna be weird.

I think it’s because growing up,
In the home and life I did,
I learned not to hold on to the happy stuff.
To not feel the good feelings for too long.
The happy moments were far and few in between,
And when I had them I was scared to enjoy them,
For fear that enjoyment would be taken advantage of,
Used,
Broadcasted.
When I felt happy moments,
I did my best to hide and push them away.

There were moments though,
Where amidst all the pain and suffering,
There were moments I was brought comfort.
There were moments that made me want to live,
Want to go on,
Search for something better.
These moments were brought by two furry ears,
Eyes with the closest shade to my own,
And a long furry tail.
Yea, I’m talking about my cat.

And now the poem has taken a sharp turn from meaningful,
To just absurd.
Right?
That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?
Dude, this chick wrote a poem about her cat.
Her ******* cat.

These moments aren’t when my cat was being funny,
Or playful.
There are a lot of those memories that I enjoy.

These moments are the ones where I’m sitting on the stairs,
My hand pressed to my mouth,
Suppressed sobs shuddering through my body.

She’s selfish,
She hates us,
She hates me.
She doesn’t deserve any ounce of pity from me,
I meant every word I said.

You know that’s not true,
She is your daughter,
You should care.
You can’t just freeze her out,
She isn’t one of your old college friends,
She needs you.

She doesn’t need me,
She doesn’t want me,
And I don’t want her.

Okay.
You know what,
Fine whatever.

I can only hold on to the hope that she was lying.
But even in those darkest moments,
Listening to my Dad try to defend me,
Just to give up and walk away.
Listening to my Mom,
Throw my name around in the mud,
And stomp all over it in her New Balance Sneakers,
Canni was there.

Animals have a queer way of being there right when you need them,
And Canni is one of the best.
She’d sit there patiently,
While I willowed away into nothing,
The sharp,
Biting feelings of pain,
Echoing in my head.
Those feelings took me down,
To a deep, dark place,
Where there was no feeling.
No feeling happy,
No feeling sad,
No feeling hurt.
There was no feeling at all-
It was safe.
But she brought me back.
She’d rub against me,
Nudge her head under my hand,
Nip at my arm if I didn’t pay attention to her,
Or even just sit there next to me.
She’d listen with me,
Her tail flicking back and forth,
Like she couldn’t believe what was going on either.

Maybe she was trying to distract me,
Maybe she just wanted attention.
Either way,
She made me care when I had nothing left to care for.
She gave me something to hope better for,
Gave me something to work harder for,
Something to get me moving out of the dark,
Hopeless place that had become my heart.
If not for me,
Then for the small animal,
That cared enough to know when I was happy,
And when I was sad.

My cat is the reason that I know love today,
The reason I have feeling today.
And for that,
I can’t thank her enough.
A Poem for my Best Friend
nabi 나비 Jun 2018
as the kind of person i am, i don't regret any of my decisions
because I've made my decisions and there is nothing i can do now
they've occurred and i can feel bad about making them
but i never regret them, because there's no use wishing i could change them
this aspect of me becomes prominent after a loss
recently it feels as though there's been a lot of loss
and it's terrible, i hate the feeling of it
but loss shows me a lot of things
loss has shown me that sometimes it's not the losing that hurts
it's the lost effort and feelings and time
it's the lost emotion that hurts me most
people walk in and out of our lives and we have no control over that fact
but they take moments and little pieces of us along with them
but we take a little bit of them as well
and sometimes what we take hurts
loss teaches us how valuable our moments are
that every little moment is worth something
regardless of how small we think it is
because one day we or somebody else might not see it as miniscule
but as a miraculous moment that is impacting on their life
loss doesn't erase these impacts and hurts on us though
it might even enunciate them
and loss doesn't make the sadness of losing that person go away
time does
and even though time takes away that pain we have those moments
you should never regret those moments
whether they be good moments or bad moments
you took them with you for a reason
i think me as the person i am
certain moments shine light on certain aspects of myself
and loss shines light on my inability to regret moments
although some may see that as a bed things and call me emotionless
i view it as a tool to view moments a little differently than others
to view them as valuable and worth remembering
Mark Lecuona Feb 2012
Sometimes I think I can avoid the problems of life
I act like it’s not going to happen to me
That stuff only happens to other people
I don’t have to pay because I want it for free

If feels like I’m living in a war
There are casualties all around
I get nicked every now and then
But not enough to make a sound

I don’t have a bad life
I just have bad moments
I see the bitterness in others
As they breathe between torments

Success seems so random at times
Every day I wake up in the same place
My work has become my life
But still I wear an anonymous face

The extremists are taking over
Most of us have nothing to say
The politicians take us all for granted
They say spend your money and then go away

I don’t have a bad life
I just have bad moments
I see the fear in others
As they await life’s judgments

It’s a strange thing watching the news
I see our heroes dying every day
Nothing ever changes
Yet another baby will be led away

The more I think the less I believe
The less I believe the more I see
The more I see the less I need
The less I need the more I am free

I don’t have a bad life
I just have bad moments
I see the hopelessness in others
As they accept their punishments

They say what doesn’t **** you makes you stronger
I’m so strong now that I have lost the thrill
I don’t need any more near death experiences
One more and my heart will soon be still

I spend so much time doing nothing
Like waiting at a light or being stuck in traffic
I wish I could gather it all up
And relive the hours I’ll never get back

I don’t have a bad life
I just have bad moments
I see the pain in others
As they endure their disappointments

I think about *** all the time
But I want to live alone
I don’t want to explain myself
My mind will always be my own

There is an oasis where we all exist
But sometimes it’s only as we sleep
As soon as it passes you know you missed it
So we wait even as we weep

I don’t have a bad life
I just have bad moments
I see the struggles of others
As they can’t make their payments

My daughter couldn’t wait for Christmas
She still believes and was so impatient
I wonder if a woman could love me
Like a child opening a present

I need your love just as you need mine
I know you want me to settle down
I see it in your eyes and hear it in the songs
That float around this lonely town

I don’t have a bad life
I just have bad moments
I see the heartache of others
As she tries to understand my resistance
Ann M Johnson Aug 2016
Life is a rollercoaster filled with many ups and downs.
Life is a rollercoaster it can sometimes be scary to be swept off the ground.
Life is a rollercoaster there are moments can sometimes be exciting.
Life is a rollercoaster there are moments where you get knocked off balance and feel sick.
Life is a rollercoaster sometimes all you can do is hang on for your dear life and scream.
Life is a rollercoaster sometimes you reach out for your dreams no matter unpractical they may seem.
Life is a rollercoaster filled with little loop de loops that spin you around and hurl you around in a different direction.
Life is a rollercoaster filled with chaotic moments that make us feel blue.
Life is a rollercoaster, I don't know about you but at times it seems for many the ride ends too quickly without enough time to say goodbye.
Life is a rollercoaster filled with heartache and moments that make us cry.
Life is a rollercoaster and it is best to just face it instead of trying to hide.
Life is a rollercoaster it is good to take a supportive hand as we round the next bend.
Life is a rollercoaster we have this moment today to try to live life to the fullest and remember that it is best enjoyed with our friends and family by our side.
Life is a rollercoaster I am grateful that I have this opportunity to ride this ride.
Life is a rollercoaster so I'll do my best to take bad moments in stride, and focus more on the good moments that are held within each new day if I just choose to look around.

— The End —