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Monisha Jan 1
Hope and desire ,
Want and fire,  
The dawn, the start,
new beginnings, empty cart
New year, and jan of first,
Parched us in that undeniable thirst.

Brush away the old, learn anew,
Wee bit carte blanche, to run askew,
Every year same old story,
Can revelry sometimes be a tad gory.

A moment of solitude,
To think about those who can’t,
Pause pause pause,
Change the rant.

All those resolutions,
and the mutinous cacophony,
Let peace reign supreme
and create a veritable symphony.  

Bid adieu to  resolutions and to do’s in your head,
this cycle shall  break
Create  a “to don’t” list instead...

Don’t pressure yourself  to party
Don’t  forget to be thankful for this year
No matter this years sorrow,
There is that beautiful promise
Of a beckoning tomorrow.

Don’t set any more resolutions,
Live each day with gratitude,
When the new year becomes old
You’ll have many a tale untold.

Don’t stay in the past,
It binds in Chains,
Unfettered you soar,
Hopes, desires, wings and more.

Hope is a song,
It’s notes lilting
It’s wings shiny
And it’s span embracing.

2020 let’s  call you hope
2020 let’s  call you love
2020 more than anything
Let’s  call you dawn of another day...

Monisha Dec 2019
Waning dulcet tones,
Waging winds clamour,
Trees shedding their garb
Taking a chance with the tremor.
December, December, December!

Brown grass, Gray skies,
Hibernating desires,
Shorter days,
Pauses, sighs and whys.  
décembre, décembre, décembre!

Huddles warm and soothing,
Wuthering and whithering away,
Cracking fires that once were
Only remnants of embers remain.
Diciembre, Diciembre, Diciembre!

Wintery sun, caressed once
The skies await,half awake,
wanting, waning, waking,
What lies ahead, you mysterious you...
दिसंबर, दिसंबर, दिसंबर!
Monisha Oct 2019
Some of us, few of us,
Maybe he and  you,
and certainly me too,

Carve our worlds,
Different worlds,
Wanting, desiring,
Seeking the different.

Dark, gloriously different,
Decadent, wild and free,
beautiful to you and me.

Something elusive,  exotic and maybe ******,
mysteriously something out of the ordinary.

Sometimes we find it,
Sometimes we do not,
And we continue seeking the different,
It’s so achingly sought.
Monisha Oct 2019
Just like that,
I felt a sprinkle of pain,
You know the kind that gnaws and grows,
And nibbles your insides.

What started it, I wonder,
A buried thought,
a deserted experience,
Befallen, buried, squashed,
Run asunder, but still alive.

It pushes through the barriers to say,
Hey you! Yes you!
I exist,
Don’t think your looking away,
Will stop me coming back, some day.

Huh! I beat it hollow,
and there it’s slimy self crept back,
I had learnt not to feed it as it would grow,
I keep it on such a strict spartan diet,
My oh My! Look how bulbous it looks!

Hmmmm! Pain, were you feeding inside of me merrily while I was asleep,
Chewing my tissues, chomp chomp, burp,
Deep so very deep,
I feel I am missing a bone or two,
you gluttonous pain,
I am sure you’ve gobbled up many cells too.

Dark, gray, silent, doom,
Am I on for lifelong gloom,
Aah! Hrmph! Boo hooo!
What do I do,
So many around me,
Who do I reach out to?

Oh I do reach out,
And they say,
You? Couldn’t be,
You’re so strong,
It doesn’t fit you well, this pain you see!

I laugh, Is this pain
A size smaller for me,
Am I self indulgent,
In saying it hurts.

I start looking around,
And see many like me,
Laughter hiding the pain,
Cloaked well, their touch warm,
The tremble reaching out in vain.

It’s tough, this despair,
Sometimes with valid cause,
Many times so much accumulated,
Unaddressed, unmet, covered with gauze.
It rears it’s ugly head
For many
Eating their insides,
It’s canine jaws,
Sharp and unrelenting.

I still don’t have an answer,
Who does really,
Expectations, recriminations, justifications, validations, manipulations, mechanisations,
Eat us up a bit more.
We sleep off some days
hoping to sleep away to nothingness.

And then we arise to the morn,
The sun filtering through, casting its warmth,
A bird in the distance chirping away,
Pain still there but so are my fingers glowing like starlight along the Milky Way,
My limbs stretch and I purr away,
The clocks tick tock,
Reminds me of a chance,
A new beginning,
A fresh start,
A fresh me,
A wounded but mighty heart!  

Facing my pain instead of sublimating it,
Nursing it tenderly instead of ill treating it,
I know you’ll ease out, heal out,
And I will be better each day,
Because this life, this beautiful life,
Is worth living each moment, every day.

When I face you, I shall share you,
Tell your story to those I want to,
And suddenly, you will feel acknowledged and dance way into the oblivion because you’ve been sung to, heard, cuddled and celebrated.

Till then, I trudge along...
This is an ode to so many of us who carry burdens of hurt, unresolved pain, and stories to self which need to be heard. May you seek and find those willing to listen and hold your hand, sometimes that’s all it takes, sometimes you need more, but seek you must. I send you my love and hugs and Godspeed to find your pain and acknowledge it, only then healing starts.
Monisha Sep 2019
मुझे तंहाई अच्छी लगती है,
ख़ुद से बातें, सची लगतीं हैं,
बस हाथ में चाय या काैफी की प्याली हो,
और पुराने से कैफे  में,काैफी ब्रू की महक हो
और ऐसे में  कुछ यादें बस यूँही याद आ जाती  है।

टेबल अगर थोड़ा  गहरा हो,
थोड़ा घिसा, थोड़ा मैला हो,
कुर्सी थोड़ी कड़ कड़ करती हुई
अपना अस्तित्व जताती हुई।

कॉफ़ी का मग या चाई की प्याली,
चीनी मीटि की बनी हो,
गाड़े नीले या हरे रंग की,
लकीरें समय की समेटे हुए,
समुद्र की तरह  सब जानने वाली, समाने वाली।

दिन हो तो, भीनी भीनी सी,
इठलाती, बल खाती किरणें,
श्याम हो तो, पुराने लैम्प की,
हल्की, मघम रोशनी,
ऐक अरसे की याद दिलाते हुऐ।

सोच कर थोड़ी मुस्कराहटें आती हैं,
और आँखें नम सी भी हो जाती हैं,
जब कुछ लम्हे परचाईयों की तरह
एक जुट हो जाते हैं।

कितनी बाज़ुऐं इस टेबल पर टिकी होंगी,
सामनेवाले की कही सुनने के लिए आँखे झुखी होंगी,
कितने अरमानो की कश्ती,
समुद्री गहराइयों में निडर गोते खा रही होंगी।

वो कश्मकश से दूर,
पर, किन्तु, परन्तु से परे,
मीठी, मासूम और कुछ करने की चाहत लिए,
वोह पल याद आतें हैं।

और फिर सोचतीं हूँ,
वो यादें रंगीन थी,
ज़िंदगी की तरह, बेहतरीन  थी,
और आज का क्या विचार है,
चलिए आज कुछ और यादें बनाते हैं
कल कॉफ़ी पर उनको याद कर जाते हैं।
A poem depicting the passage of time, celebrating the past but also mindful of the magic of the present.
Monisha Aug 2019
Have you ever felt this,
That you know someone
Without really knowing them.

That you hold someone,
Without really  holding  them.

That you see someone,
Without really seeing them.

That you hear someone,
Without really hearing them.

That you feel someone,
Without them being close enough.

That you call out to them,
And their soul whispers back!
  Aug 2019 Monisha
They’ll check your wrists,
But not your thighs,
They’ll check your smile,
But not your eyes
They’ll avoid the truth,
Believe the lies,
Nothing to sooth,
No reason to cry,
Our smiles are bright,
Eyes are a bit dull,
Wrists are clean despite,
The blade with an emotional pull,
And we’re emotionally unstable,
But they say that’s okay,
We are all a bit of a riddle,
But that’s the only thing we can convey,
And the world will open to swallow us up,
But that’s okay, at least our habits remain,
And when their arms finally open up,
We will show them the reflection they taught us to shame,
So we paint a smile with the color of red,
From the thighs they didn’t check,
And from our eyes we bled.
And they'll only understand,
When the noose hold us by our necks,
And if they had thought twice,

Maybe our eyes they would have checked.
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