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Isaac Golle Sep 2012
Let's write a love poem built out of plaster and garden gnomes
We'll staple it together with our memories of bad weather
And we'll fill it with our hopes and dreams
Between the two of us I think we've got enough so it'll be bursting at the seams
Cuz I've never met someone who's got such a sparkle of life in their eyes
And that's all it's gonna take to put the twinkle in mine
You shine like roses and smell like the stars
I mean whoops!  You've got me stumblin' over my own heart
What I meant to say is you're looking exceptionally pretty today
Not that you weren't pretty yesterday or the day before or that tomorrow you won't blow my mind...even more
You've got a wonderful smile and a fantastic laugh
But even better than that your mind shines like a thousand stars
And your soul beams like a billion rays of sunlight
It spills out so radiant from your eyes
And see that's where I get lost
That's when I get those moments of soaring through the skies
It's not when we lock lips it's when we lock looks and start to read each other like books
Our souls intertwining into a three strand rope
And that rope's been binding up my heart gettin' tighter since the start
Cuz see I've never believed in soul mates but you've got me second guessin'

Let's write a love story stitched out of pain and sorrows
Made of hardships and forgotten souls we borrowed
Let's fill it with joy and glue it together with God
Cuz if it's God's wind in these frail sails then this tiny ship will never fail
And when we reach land He'll help us blaze a trail
Take the long way round so we can bask in the sound
Of our harmonic voices remembering that love is all about the choices
But if we forget that we'll end up voiceless
Drifting further apart as we follow the other noises
And I don't want that I wanna keep makin' choices
Choices to pursue no other woman than you
Through and through that's all I wanna do
Cuz I've never believed in soul mates but you've got me second guessin'

Let's paint a picture of a beautiful rose
One that sits amidst the thorns and thistles
Yet despite all that it flowered and flourished to its fullest potential
Slowly but surely unfolding each and every petal
Exposing all our darkest secrets as we hammer out these hearts of metal
And let these roots grow deeper and thicker in the soil
Remembering that love is all about the choices
And even if we lose our voices we've got our gazes
And when the haze is strong we'll listen to our favorite love song
And if we lose our hearing we'll just hold each other tight
Breathe each others breath all through the night
The rose'll get redder and the stalk'll get thicker as our hearts flicker into one, unified thrum like the beat of a drum and, 'you can wrap your fingers 'round my thumb'

Cuz I've never believed in soul mates but you've got me second guessin'
To see the poem as spoken word:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uGocT8ao9I
Jeremy Betts May 2022
(too long version)

Life indeed pushed me to the edge of the cliffs end but the jump was my decision, no one there could ever be bothered to care enough to even explore the simplest question much less begin thinkin' about askin' what I was thinkin' when I settled on the option I ultimately, on more than one occasion, failed at miserably while attemptin', like the byproduct of rabbits ******' my faults are multiplyin' as my spark goes dark at the same time my shine went dim, not worth restorin' this vessel that sits as decoration in a white trash front lawn deterioratin', startin' from the back end then devourin' the engine

One step forward, two giant leaps back pedalin', that was the general motion of regression, lookin' like I'm plagiarizin' Michael Jackson when he's on stage performin', masterin' that classic moon walkin' he's known for doin', never as smooth as him but you get the picture I'm paintin', losing track of my destination as it began droppin' out of sight behind the horizon, followin' the trail the sun was blazin'

Can't see the forest for the trees and vegetation, could have heard the pre-lumber fallin' if you would only humor me and at least pretend to listen, but that there is somethin' you have zero interest in which is interestin' cause if the past has taught me anythin' about what you find pleasure in it's that you're lovin', above everythin', the chance to keep pointin' out and highlightin' how I'm a terrible human bein', a garbage person but not a man and no CDL license, I'm not pickin' up the trash I'm metaphorically dwellin' in only then to have it pile back up again times ten, ultimately creatin' my own land fill location within, wilfully lettin' recycled misfortune to continue hittin' me on the chin, it's due to inadequate trainin', not for the lack of tryin' to defend

No direction just a lie practiced to perfection too keep 'em from noticin' my state of depression, leave 'em guessin'. But to keep the honesty rollin' in I have a confession, I'd loan you the money to pay attention but you'd never take that good for nothin' offerin' and I ain't even placin' blame, just sayin', I know my position, I'm fully aware I'm on the losin' end of this game of tug-a-war life and I are playin', though I think it's cheatin', countin' cards to ensure a win, gamblin' that I'll give in and fold before noticin' I'm the mark bein' taken, the journey of life is a rigged expedition

What am I doin' besides losin'? Why am I here became the daily question, how do I get out this mess of confusion that's drownin' me to the point of extinction? It's an impossible equation even for a mathematician with years of education, so you know for certain I'm lyin' when, for no good reason, I have a go at answerin'. The slipknot is workin' just as I was expectin', slippin', goin' taunt, slidin' into its final position

I should mention, if you're thinkin' this has taken place solely for attention you're sorely mistaken, you never come to that realization, dodgin' conversation in an attempt to avoid confrontation, leavin' me noticin' there's no one standin' by and extendin' a hand to help and lookin' back there's never been. No one attendin' my lonely execution by decapitation in an effort to stop the spreadin' of harmful misfortune I feed myself, bad for my mental health, a deadly addiction that's become somewhat of a tradition through repetition, turnin' a weapon on myself, worsenin' my condition, that's a fact based observation not an opinion

No resolution in the hard hitting revelation that there's no salvation for someone who's gone and done what I've done and gone on livin' in a web of fear that I first spun for protection but couldn't stop the infestation from gainin' the traction it was needin' for the completion of my complete elimination

Cravin' anythin' real to place my faith in, I'm bein' told the hate and pain I'm bathin' in is of my own creation, I can see the connection as I sit broken down in the intersection of real life and fiction, I've lost control again and once again there's no mulligan. Am I seein' the glass half full or half empty or maybe it's all an illusion regardless of perception? Lost my vision, can't see through the pollution and corruption runnin' rampant with no solution comin', I'm a simpleton so this ***** gettin' confusin', a complete brain malfunction

I've awoken the beast within and just as I was predictin' we instantly began battlin' to the death, fightin' for position and a quicker end to the situation I'm always findin' myself in then findin' out for myself that it's always been my own reflection startin' back in my direction, the ugly inside is finally outwardly projectin', can't even pretend to be my own friend, enough is enough, I'm saying when

Its lurkin' just under the skin, waitin' for the moment to strike and beat me down to nothin'. When will it end? Never I'm guessin'. I'm gonna have to try to put an end to it all myself again, tirin' of the repetition to the point I usually take no action, sometimes due to exhaustion but still just lettin' it all happen like that's what I was plannin' from the beginnin' but that makes about as much sense as quittin' ****** right after the needles insertion or waitin' till after overdosin'

Frustration givin' way to aggravation and aggression leavin' little satisfaction even if I could squeak out a win, but I'm no longer wastin' time waitin' for that to happen so I'll probably most likely be caught sleepin', dreamin' about what could've been had I listened to my gut feelin' and put in the same amount of stock I place in what my treasonous mind and heart are always sayin'
and not let doubt creep in and claim top billin' as it's permanent position, knocking out compassion and reason, replacin' both with the hate and weight of a nation

It's a fools mission, I WILL be beaten' into submission, the last thing I'll hear as my energy gives up on existin' is the mortician statin' then time stampin' my expiration, that and the body bag zippin', family left pickin' out a coffin from the bargain bin, not worth payin' a fortune, only payin' little respect to the fallen then quickly forgotten at the drop of a pin

You're sayin' I have a purpose but I'm witnessin' me wastin' every minute of the earths rotation and never reachin' the conclusion that I was slackin', far to laxed in the preparation for a home invasion of this mental prison I'm caged in where I'm servin' a life sentence and I'm mentally and emotionally starvin' while my vision of any kind of future begins to darken

No open invitation, but that's not stoppin' my personal demon from just walkin' right in and startin' the killin' spree up once again, focusin' first on positive motivation just for existin', of course that's just my imagination, but could you imagine? A horrible vision to the average pedestrian, I know, but I still crack a grin at the thought of it happenin', the devil on my shoulder is at it again

My light fractured through a prism and some went missin' and I never got around to lookin' so no chance of gettin' it back into my possession, there's no raignin' it in, goin' from a fools errand to a search and rescue mission seemingly overnight but for what reason, just to teach me a lesson? I don't test well, I won't make it to graduation

Choices made out of desperation got me lookin' and feelin' like a felon, to survive I had to become the villain of the biography I'm narratin', this isn't livin', at best it's just barely holdin' on for dear life and weakenin', a measly attempt at survivin', forced into an intimate relation with the unforgivable, each of the sinful deadly seven

The line not to cross was paper thin, walked it like a drunk person in front of a couple corrupt police men, heathens but feelin' better than, lost control long ago, before I fell off the wagon, I ain't talkin' about drinkin', it started way back when with prescription medication, ones that were suppose to be helpin' but then used for wreckreation and that's when it began draggin' me down to an underground parkin' garage elevation

I didn't have a break down, like I said, it was a break in home invasion with the assumption there was somethin' worth takin' to begin with but everythin' inside is broken and you can see the corrosion of the foundation built on sand, makin' this temple worth nothin', even self worth is fadin'

Graspin' at the air and yet again findin' nothin', grapplin' with the notion I'm nothin', prayin' my emergency flotation device will suffice cause the water is ragin', feelin' the undertow currant strengthen in it's concentration, I think it's attackin' and there's no escapin' so I began blinkin' SOS in old fashion morse code hopin' you don't need help with the translation, if that's the case then I'm done for, why bother debatin', I'll take myself out of the equation, preparin' my soul for the comin' evacuation

You begin lyin' just to raise my spirits but I ain't buyin' into what you're sellin', counterfeit concern bein' spoken with no emotion or conviction, after the extensive evaluation I see it's no garden of Eden I'm livin' in, again, someone's been lyin', I'd be wakin' right into the den of a rabid lion shrouded in original sin, I ate the fruit knowin' full well it was forbidden, straight up poison but zero ***** were given, so this was bound to happen, the writin' was on the wall, who am I kiddin'?

You have my permission to begin the process so let's just go ahead then and get this over with so I can silence the voices within, I've eliminated every complication, layin' on the tracks at the crazy train boarding station, awaitin' the unavoidable, provin' I was correct in the assumption that this is the right time to initiate my endin', a personal Armageddon...oh, well hello, you must be that Satan guy I've been hearin' so much about from everyone preachin' directly in my ear then going out the other, it's still hard not to listen, I'm just tyin' up a loose end or two then I'm yours for the takin'

...alright, thanks for waitin', now then, let the journey to my endin' begin shall we? I'm takin' the lead on this one cause I know where we're goin' and I'm no good at followin' direction...obviously, it goes without sayin'

©2022
Jeremy Betts Feb 2021
{Political}

You know exactly who I'm referring to when I say...

They have this habitual political ritual of babbling on
Rambling wrong, your standard God complex politician
Standing in front of a congregation spewin' lies, oozin' corruption through thin skin
Politickin' about a mission we should sht on and skip the Charmin
This is my f
ck you dissertation, a doctrine based on real time observation
A deep dive into what has essentially become an unhealthy obsession with sin
Holding a position I'm told I have no right to speak on much less be a voice in
But if one life don't matter none, no life matters son
Including your own, don't confuse facts with opinion
Watching your tone would be wise in this situation
Hooked on the slogan defund every police station
Convinced it means let loose the entire prison population
You know, just for fun
Stoke the confusion, skip any and all explanation, no need for a reason
Willfully blind to the sedition, a corporation backed rebellion, it's open season for treason
To quote the law men, "we'll even hold the door for y'all till you're all in"
Then when they're leavin' make sure to welcome them back again
A simple bewildered complexion brings 'em satisfaction
Chaos the reflection of a lagit election
Regardless of the facts within reach, we witnessin' half a population claim fiction
Feel the friction
Destruction is the reaction, falling for a complex distraction
The consumption of our damnation overshadowed by a mutation of this god forsaken nation
How did we wind up in this position? How'd we let this happen?
I reckon we sure weren't just placed in this situation, a fraction of us stumped by long division
It''s by no means an answerless equation but a question we still debate on
Standing upon a soapbox trying to out crazy the competition
What was once neighborly is now seen as the opposition
Someone please just hit the gong so we can move on
Restoration is easier than resurrection so stay strong
Hope has been long gone for so long, maybe to long, a hopeless conclusion drawn
No anti venom for our venomous condition
A symptom raised from conception, taught to the young
We bet on corruption inside a polling station
Ballets a currency printed on different stationery then it's just simple addition
Still waiting on the announcement that we finally won
But that day will never come unless you're higher echelon
Controlled by the elusive free mason, I'm guessin'
Can't know for certain what side they on, influencing our direction from behind a curtain
A mission forgotten, a population forsaken
Praise God as dangerous as hail Satan
That should be a$$ backwards but it ain't wrong, I'm just sayin'
If you were payin' attention you wouldn't need an explanation
Incarceration eludes the criminals behind the walls of that white mansion
Not a single one ever pays for what they've done and that's fuel for frustration
The people scream out objection and beg for a proper ejection of this borderline evil pantheon
But they get to run over and over again every election and instead of serving up a strict ten day eviction
We just turn to digital b*tchin', no real action taken so we're stuck with this dangerous faction
One that holds Rome as its inspiration so you know this nation is collapsin' it's just a matter of when...and if we'll even make it to the end

©2021
Jeremy Betts Aug 2023
(Extended)

An authentic smile defeated then deleted long ago, zero chance of winnin' stretchin' all the way back to my beginnin'
It was a genuine expression that slowly melted to an unrecognizable reflection
All pigmentation givin' way revealin' a secondary, ghostly stand in walkin' in my skin and it's handed some demands in
Granted, it happened in my formative years, a couple of years before the realization hit, I was an abandoned abomination
But the impact has been felt through forty somethin' calendars and countin', often wonderin' just how many more of 'em I'll actually be needin'
A true representation of life's failed evolution, my opinion, it would've helped to have known the mission
At the very least I coulda been shown at least one possible destination
Instead of being teased with this mystical American dream while always wakin' up in a nightmareish situation
Or hell, just vaguely point me in the general direction I should be travelin' in
Oh and where I should begin because I'm sure I'll be back here again, spending a majority of me time going back to the beginnin'
Then, after that you can get back to not givin' a **** about your creation, can't be bothered to even check in too see how we're all doin'
Refusin' to even call it in with a simple "how's it goin'?" Completely stopped showin' up for some reason
What happened to all the love and forgiveness you're supposed to be dishin' out according to your words, king James edition
Bigfoot and god, both bein' heaven and earths undisputed hide and seek champion
Ignorin' all the cries for help you've been hearin' while dodgin' every little question
Eliminate guessin', can't find the answer if you can't formulate the question
Still wouldn't say it's been a waste but the needles strongly leanin' towards an awfully vague reason for existin'
An overall lack of an adequate position, doesn't really seem like I was even designed to fit in
That is if my life has been any indication
I manage to make it to, AND THROUGH, the proverbial one more day but where's the lesson?
Was it in the bull shiit I kept slippin' in before crossin' off and finishin' anythin' deemed worthy of doin'?
This just feels like non-monetary extortion, a life-sized portion, takin' far more than what's ever been given
How do you think that's gonna end? This is not a rhetorical question, I'm looking for answers and forever waitin'
I'm still in competition with myself, the prize, livin', the compromise, loosin' myself in a portrait I've broken
Or durin' the transition, stumblin' across the realization that everyone's been right, I am the problem, that's no longer opinion
Find it in the nonfiction section
The eradication of an inner companion, replacin' compassion with aggression, smooth sailin' with frustration, no direction, no validation
The transition to curmudgeon happened earlier than expected, drawin' parallels from the curious case of Benjamin Button
Not for nothin', the infestation of negative thoughts caused a mutation inside and out, completely loosin' what it means to be a person, never was a good one
Probably no longer a shoe in for team human, my demon is all high on my supply with a gargantuan appetite for fear and hate eggin' it on
It's not a lose lose situation, and it sure ain't win win, and any other option, I'm guessin', got lost in translation
But I'm pretty sure somethin's gotta end in order for another somethin' to begin, at least that's what I'm hearin'
Still can't find a reason that justifies the conviction
Is what I'm feelin' damnation?
Is what I'm seein' my own creation?
It could just be that no matter what I'm not goin' to be happy with the conclusion
Only recently discoverin' life is not a choose your own adventure, you're not allowed to be pickin' your preferred endin'
A mustard seed of faith in myself ain't doin' nothin' but turnin' a mole hill into a mountain
No fat lady singin', just a whole lotta screamin', just a band playin' as I feel myself sinkin' into oblivion
Who the hells idea was it to make me captain? Given the keys to the ship but zero trainin'
Pardon me for givin' up on salvation but if you've been payin' even a little bit of attention
It should go without sayin' but you're waistin' away waitin' for divine intervention
Be careful what you look to for inspiration, maybe get a second opinion before goin' full send, divin' head in without practicin' the landin'
A recipe for disaster cookbook in the kitchen, irony gone missin', passin' overhead, no one's even lookin'
It may not be your intention, but there's no hate like the love of a christian
I'm just sayin', that's a world I lived in, I wish this was a work of fiction, then I could benefit from all this wishin'
Even presentin' it as an exaggeration would be lyin', if I'm lyin' I'm dyin', we're all dyin', they're all lyin'
A livin' contradiction by their own admission, rid them of bullshiit with a little sanitation
Keep an eye on the who you're prayin' to every day, it may not be the one, or at least the only one, listenin'
And there's no mulligan, no snooze button, no rewind function, no wake me up when it's over discussion
A conversation on morals is just opinion, life's not a given, it can be taken but if you can't take it, please, don't give in
With a questionable foundation any moment construction can slip, unnoticed, into destruction
Countless lessons on dysfunction, an influx of confusion, temperaments risin', no inner peace on the horizon
Please have your opposition choosen before the match is striken allowin' the dumpster fire lifestyle to begin
Fuelin' suspicion, a growin' unease between both neighbor and friend, the end will come as no surprise then

Just pay attention

©2023
Jeremy Betts Aug 2023
(First draft)

An authentic smile defeated then deleted long ago, zero chance of winnin' stretchin' all the way back to my beginnin'
It was a genuine expression that slowly melted to an unrecognizable reflection
All pigmentation givin' way revealin' a secondary, ghostly stand in
Granted, it happened in my formative years before I was abandoned due to the mutation
But the impact has been felt through forty somethin' calendars and countin'
A true representation of life's failed mission, I'm guessin'
Not necessarily my opinion but one every other person is holdin', no question
Still wouldn't say it's been a waste but the needles strongly leanin' towards no reason for existin'
An overall lack of position, doesn't seem like I was designed to fit in, that is if my life has been any indication
I manage to make it to and through the proverbial one more day but where's the lesson?
This just feels like non-monetary extortion of a life-sized portion
Take far more than what's given, with or without permission
I'm still in competition with myself, the prize, livin'
The compromise, loosin' myself in a broken system or durin' the transition
The eradication of an inner companion, replacin' compassion with aggression, smooth sailin' with frustration, no direction, no validation
The transition to curmudgeon happened earlier than expected, drawin' parallels from the curious case of Benjamin Button
Not for nothin', the infestation of negative thoughts caused a mutation inside and out, completely loosin' what it means to be human
It's not a lose lose situation, and it sure ain't win win, and any other option, I'm guessin', got lost in translation
But I'm pretty sure somethin's gotta end in order for another somethin' to begin, at least that's what I'm hearin'
Still can't find a reason that justifies the conviction, is what I'm feelin' damnation? Is what I'm seein' my own creation?
It could just be that no matter what I'm not goin' to enjoy the conclusion, not allowed to settle on your preferred endin'
No fat lady singin', just a band playin' as I feel myself sinkin' into oblivion so pardon me for givin' up on salvation
It should go without sayin' but you're waistin' away waitin' for divine intervention, be careful what you use for inspiration
It may not be your intention, but there's no hate like the love of a christian, I'm just sayin'
Pay attention, who you're praying to every day may not be the one listenin'

©2023
Questions and blank stares
Answers in blank squares
The lowest form of humor
This has convinced junior
That this is art
Still replace a sound track with farts
“Modern art”
Please don't get me started
On how ******* “Art” is
Blank stares and questions
Blank squares and cessions
I'm guessin’ a million ain't enough
For all the “expression”
And here we're
Starin’ at black mirrors
And never saw clearer
The youth we missteered
With all of our weird
Programming
This is true expression
Words on blank pages
In my language
Deep eyes and questions
Help them understand
But keep guessin’....
Tashea Young Jul 2019
Dear Black girl
I love the graceful like movement of which you twirl
You are One of the only Real jewels in this delusional world
I love the Density of your mind and how it adds volume to the thickness of your Beautifully defined curls
I love the way The infinite comic skies glow within your diamond filled moonlight eyes
It’s like Watching the Sun set and Rise
You embrace your Inner G You speak your  colorful native tongue in vibes
So fluently
Pure Energy
You Are A frequency and you flow to the wave of your own ride
Black Girl I love the way your bodacious figure carries that sacred space called heaven safely between your thunderous thighs
I love The way your skin gives life to that blissful Melanin that let’s the world know you were sculpted and crafted straight from the Divine’s hands and placed into the womb of heaven
You are A Joyous Blessin’
There’s No Guessin
A whole Garden, a Goodness Of Perfection
There’s no word or picture that can capture the Power of your Magnificent Essence
You carried this deep within the fibers of your being every since you were just an adolescent
A Temple Of Gold
Walking Tall and Bold
That no naked eye could behold
Just So **** Mesmerizing and Beautiful!
You’ve been chosen from the vine like grapes to unfermented wine.
Never to age but the savoring flavor of your nature’s nectar it just gets better over time!
Miss me
hug me
kiss me
touch me

make my center
your surrounding space

Don't tease me
please me
never
leave me

you can't king me
it ain't a game

i wear you better
like fitted sweater

you just my size
don't change a thing

no waters wetter
no April better

forget umbrella
come play in my rain

queen reigns
u knight
with me
just right

A.M.
no letter
penned
Dear Jane

u like it
we love it
can't get enough of it

no messin
no guessin
absolutely
no testin

u wake
"Hey wifey,
our hearts not icey
feels so good
to be unashamed..."

no guilt
no filth
no watchin' milfs
i'm yo star
you got changed mind frame

What a blessin
God is present
form of worship
He don't turn His face

our bed be wild and undefiled
**** and pure
like white lace

no need to fear
our God is here
we dance this dance
so
u n a s h a m e d

no need to fear
our God is here
we dance this dance
so
u n a s h a m e d

. . .


let's do it
again.
© 20 june 2009
Mike Bergeron Nov 2011
I’ll take it as a lesson
Not to play games,
Cuz this ****’s got me guessin
Whether I am or not sane,
Or whether this mess is
Because of my brain
Or because those
Doing the messing
Aren’t true to their names,
Or maybe they are,
**** it, either way
I go to the bar
To slam scotch in my veins
And watch as the cars
Circle in the drain.
These people believe they’re driving forward
But they’re going in circles,
Forever toward
The singularity.
bryn Jun 2017
This sinking feeling sets,
It feels just like a hole inside your chest.
I know you're thinking,
No, no, no, no, it is easier said than done,
But please let me attest.
I know it's hard.
You're feeling like you're trapped,
But that's how you react,
When you cannot see the light.
But try and see the light.
I'm tellin' you,
No, no, no, no,
You're the only one
Standing in your way,
Just take a breath, relax, and tell me…

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Why do we insist,
On crossing bridges that do not exist?
Let's take these issues
Step by step by step, to work it out,
Day by day by day we're falling down,
But life goes on.
I've got some questions,
Are you sick of feelin' sorry?
Uh huh,
And people sayin' not to worry?
Uh huh,
Sick of hearing this hakuna matata motto,
From people who won the lotto,
We're not that lucky.
Have you noticed that you're breathing?
Uh huh,
Look around and count your blessings,
Uh huh,
So when you're sick of all this stressin' and guessin' I'm suggestin' you turn this up and let them hear you sing it.

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Chin up, quit actin' like you're half dead.
Tears can only half fill how you’re feelin'.
Don't worry, be happy baby.
Stand up, life is too **** short,
That clock is ticking.
Man up, if ya feel me,
Everybody sing it.

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping
I'm not buying what they're selling
So if worry's never helping tell me
Why,
Why?
Worry at all?
all credit to set it off this song was just stuck in my head
Jeremy Betts Sep 2022
The hardest battles fought are against the chaos found within the rubble of the broken.
Any continuation of this experimentation on the human condition hangs on the theory that an upcomin' breath will allow itself to be taken
Gift or not, presently present solely due to the repeat of a heart beat, reminded constantly it's never a given
Many a complication with said blood pumpin' mechanism ribcaged in, to many components either broken or straight missin'
Naturally raisin' an interesting question, does life support support life or allow it to get one last minute jab in
Seems it's a personalization and ******* of the punishment fitted for the crime of lyin' about livin'
Seein' right through the Facebook filter projection, doom sets in without the monitor screens protection
Actin' like spoiled, undisciplined children, often throwin' a tantrum cause we're all on the spectrum
All of us? Yes, everyone.
A nonsensical state of frantic desperation overrides conviction, dignity the next to leave the station
No thought put into what's bein' said even, flippantly askin' for more calendar pages to be added in on the back end
Wildly missin' the irony of spendin' life in line for the next death bed to open, prayin' the priest is well spoken
Choosin' then to allow the soulless prayers to begin, hopin' to pull the wool over the eyes of the creator of all creation
He's up there laughin' and judgin' from heaven, he ain't sendin' help because it's entertainment first, then maybe fit in a lesson
Feels like bein' held in a hostage like situation through a self inflicted condition with a loved ones permission
Ignorin' the DNR written up to eliminate confusion and limit any guessin' 'bout what the dead is thinkin'
Wishin' they'd let go, knowin' they won't though, love can make the right decision impossible to determine
It was always a bogus mission, there's never been no mention of direction much less any talks about a realistic destination
An unorthodoxed tug 'o war, doin' both the pushin' and pullin', can't recall witnessin' a win, I only recognize losin'
The matrix is glitchin', the vale finally lifted as nightmares come to fruition, crowdin' an already distorted vision
Depraved of nutrition, lose sight of ones self in the fog of sleep deprivation
IT'S THE SLEEP THAT LETS THEN IN
In a never endin' hesitation, becomin' one with the comman background vegitation
A threat of slippin' into a comma is beginnin' to look like my very real and inevitable conclusion
The Illusion is crackin' and the illustration behind the fusade is to heavy for some to take in
And if I'm not mistaken it will only worsen for here and we're only here cause you took for granted what will now be taken
WHAT WHERE WE THINKIN'?

©2022
Reverse back to the verse
I throw ya in you cursed
Watch me put them rhymes in a hearse
Sound the eulogy
Cuz none get next to me
Im swift as bruce lee
Kicks hard like Chung Li born in 83
Add the 4 more ya get *******
Im crazier than Cujo these putos
Dont want it on the mic
You aint murderin nothin'
but ya own sight
I brailled ya envision changed your decision
Whatin' n guessin' a prediction?
Is it me or is it the way the
Way my rhymes please ?
Bow to ya knees
I make the crowds freeze
Even ya fans say bless you! when i sneeze
I bet you still wear dungerees or high heels with tight capris
I thought ya heard  im the rappin' don Shapiro
Shine n spin  around haters like disco
Sip old school Sisqo hit the blunts slow
Let the smoke meditate my mind flow
Learn how to grind ill put  ya on a flat line
Resuscitate your rhymes just to put you back on the flat line
Searchin' for the light im dolemite
My game **** tight know how to write
When ya step to legend im gifted
Young black n hung
I keep ya lifted
Got hoes on the tip of they toes
Just to hear suave flow
Pockets of dough
Thats how it goes
Pistol cocked to ya nose
Ya thoughts are froze i suppose
Dont redeem ya self
My rhymes hittin' so hard
Made the minds deaf
Cuz when ya try to diss me ya diss ya self
The microphone murderer
Aint never left !!!!

Yo everyboy gather around
Hand me the crown
Cuz ya know im King of the ****
My NY freestyles stay lit
TEXAS is where i reign
Home of the ******* up clique
This life i live aint no ****** puzzle
Tryin to figure me out gets gun to ya muzzle
Dont meddle in my ****
Spinnin' out the wombs
From cradle to my tomb
Im hittin' ya curves that go straight
Flows penetrate so hard make girlies mind  *******
Who can relate?
To my skills raws as ever
Goin' in with my raw potato skin
Bust my nut then i leave em blowin in the wind
If ya a hater i gotta mack 10
Extra clips on my hips ****** done then i dip
Listen closely to the story being told
I wont grow old never will i fold
Platinum or Gold knots
check the tic toc
My money on clockwork  
rolex watch
Worth 50 gran an on the other hand
Is the microphone
Turn the amps up mic up
Leave crowds minds blown
From nut being shown my tone
Is laid back these nigguhs
Spittin' is wayyy wack
While you pushin' Honda im in a Maybach
No frills only the real i spit so you can feel
Givin' head aches to radio station
Cant tune me out im like exacerbation
Crush my opponent everytime he bust a rhyme
They give up even before they heard mine
Intimator from dope originator
Now im the terminator eliminator
Showed up yo party they still didnt play ya
Im old school fool soul filled with blues
Leave my competitiors on front line news
It goes a little like this
This is a replica of a Chris this aint a diss
But an address
To you punks who wanna **** around
With the master of this ****
Duck quick or these rounds will put you in the ground
Flat line..........
I’ve been stressing, dare you to start testing
Not in the mood, talk to Smith and Wesson
Can’t help a man who gets hurt but never learns his lesson
Life is a question, multiple choice, guess who’s guessin?

Running from myself is no longer an option
Can’t blow my composure, everybody is watchin
Always pay the price despite what it was costin’

I’ve been through hell and back,
Would you agree with that?
Stab through my chest,
Crush my head with a bat
People walk all over me, place mat
Guess I gotta man up, and face facts

Paranoia sinks in, you start doubting everyone
Ketamine breaks skin, my trip has just begun
Take me to a place I aint never been before
New dimension, jumpin in, diving board
I’m yours

I look in my eyes and see a shell of myself
But what I’d really love to do
Is look through the eyes of everyone else
Do I look hopeful and happy?
Or sorrowful and melancholy?

I got no love for myself, no love for another
Growing up all alone, and hating all others
I’ve got some friends, and I love em like brothers
But this cloud of negativity follows me, a steady hover

Push me to where I’m stretched to thin
Now it’s far gone and I’m empty within
It became easy living with sin
Take baby steps forward on scissors and pins
David Nelson Jun 2010
Is there a reason

is there an aisle, for the pile, for just a while
a box, that holds rocks, and room for my socks
  a clamp, to put on my cramp, hold my stamp
   a day, when I can say, it's gone my way
    an eye, made for a fly, without a sty
     a flag, or a paper bag, to cover the drag queen  
      a goat, that you know will float, without a boat
       a house, for my mouse, a lacy blouse
        an imagination, for a nation, needing salvation
         a jeepers, without a creepers, and no peepers
          a kite, that flies alnight, until it's right
           a lesson, learned from confesson, without guessin
            a mole, in every hole, who likes rock and roll
           a nerd, who looks like a bird, that's what I heard
          an oil, our waters will boil, you've ruined the soil  
           a potion, or a lotion, that enhances the motion
          a queen, whos really keen, on old James Dean
         a reason, for commiting treason, in any season  
        a space, in this place, to put my face
       a time, to do my rhyme, is it a crime
      an Ull, unknown to Krull, whose blade is dull  
     a vacuum, in every room, or just a broom
    a way, to ever say, you need not pray
   a Xe, to strong for me, a trace I see
  a yak, the color black, behind my back
a zama, in Alabama, Phi Slamma Jamma

Gomer LePoet...
Bob B Nov 2016
Did you happen to notice
That last year Santa's sleigh
Was missing an important
Figure, by the way?

Let's see: Comet and *****
Along with Cupid and Prancer
Were there, and so were Donner,
Dasher, Blitzen, and Dancer.

Which reindeer was missing?
Rudolph? Ah, you guessed it.
The news was out there, but
The media had suppressed it.

(Because of frequent fog,
Santa was being sensible
In counting on dear Rudolph,
Who had become indispensable.)

It all started like this:
On the morning of Christmas Eve,
Rudolph was tired from having
Been on the qui vive

For sneaky present robbers
All the previous night.
By noon, poor ol' Rudolph
Looked a sorry sight.

To perk himself up a bit--
The "where" is still unclear--
He dipped into a little
Too much Christmas "cheer."

Now I don't know about you,
But Rudolph's nose would flicker
Whenever he drank wine
Or any other liquor.

When the team of reindeer
Lined up, Santa could tell
That sleigh-guiding Rudolph
Wasn't doing so well.

Needless to say, Santa
Really got a whiff
When he approached his friend
And took a little sniff.

"I can tell, dear Rudolph,
That you've been making merry.
Did you turn your eggnog
Into a Tom and Jerry?"

"I think--hiccup!--a little,"
Said Rudolph with a blush.
"Go to bed," said Santa.
"We are in a rush."

That night Santa was forced--
Although he felt remorseful--
To use toys with lights
To guide him. How resourceful!

So last year if the batteries
To your toys were run down,
Causing disappointment
And many a tear and frown,

Don't feel so sad.
They went to a good cause:
They helped to distribute
Gifts from Santa Claus.

Regarding this year, I
Don't want to keep you guessin':
Rudolph's back in service.
I think he learned his lesson.

But some say Santa's considering--
Despite objections and moans--
Future gift deliveries
With the use of Amazon's drones.

- by Bob B
Boat floater Feb 2015
Right here write now all open ended honesty dies
Cuz I realize her eyes r always on me

God forbid I have my own space
Only place where I find a release
Has been forced to seize to exist
U can find my thoughts n prayers amongst the mist
an imprint of fist against the wall
Evidently a stroll thru the mall was too much to ask for
I won't waste my time fighting a past war

With another dumb broad who swore to god she wasn't flawed
My iPod will b smashed by morning , by morning
A warning
Was givin,
Proceed living
Ashes to ashes
But my need smashes ,my existence
Pure resistance
Reinforcers my stance

Yet if I can b granted one wish it would be
to be able to dance
rathervthen judged in a glance
Was there ever
Really a chance for our so called romance?
U had a husband I had a drug problem
So yeah.....issues we got em
Teachers have taught em everything
They didn't need to know
Let's see u show
me
how to conquer or deal with jealousy
or the way I feel.
Now that would be a real
Life lesson

Instead they got me second guessin
Waste more time on impression then passion the ability.to be .just .me
is what I'm askin



**** just realized I'm sittin at the bar alone lost in the zone
I wanna fit in b a clone to each is own don't exist
**** THAT PUT A FIST IN THE AIR
HONESTKY I REALLY DONT CARE

go ahead n stare

I You'll see the real me
N u don't wanna go there
I'll flow there here
In front of a mirror
Face to face with my most fear
In a box with a fox
Or where ever the ****
I fall in the category as stuck
on stupid
But I've got so many lessons to teach you kid
Written now at the bar at bjs.   Duh
uh my clan be ***** as the Taliban
with illegal contraband
got more heat than desert stand
one man stand on the mic
i rock im as hard as a ****
in between a ***** legs
gettin' ready to knock
ya out with flows i expose
the industry closed
once yosef pours
out the blessin got me foes guessin no stressin
**** and henney sessions
new lessons
daily sip irish creme baily
they cant play me but pay me
listen to styles p or bump biggie
or maybe 2 p a c
host aks at birthdays
im al caponin' it runnin' ****
like diarrhea
yall just need ta
sit the **** back while i count benjamins stacks
which be
in bundle king of the hip hop jungle
and im
going to **** puffie diddy
He soft as a nestle cookie
Make mysteries
no rookies
cant play with me in this deadly game
lite a match for the flame
burn the fame
infamous is how i keep it man
hol up


I see the hate excite of the critics
Gimmicks leave with they headsplitted
And backs more open than parachute
From the guns that shoot 21 salute
Dont ya know im soldier
I keep glocks hot as folgers
In ya cup i interrupt the scene
Once i puff red hair greens
Ya drivin a limousine
N ill throw grenade in ya sunroof
And watch it land inbetween
Ya legs
So ya can blow ya own head
Get it naw forget
All i see is yellow tapes chalks
And you being admitted
To the hospital in critical
Condition no intermission
All ya memory left is ya see is my face
Im like the son of man
Leavin competition running
Marathons cuz im the biggest don
They call me the Holy one
Cuz of the way my guns
Put holes in one
The rawest spit flawless
Talk **** we'll leave ya jawless
Throw ya remains in the death valley
With the rest of the restless carcass
Facing eternal darkness what???
**** haters poetic justice
Uh
I heart haters *******
N spectators
Congratulations
You just assist my promotions
**** a notion
I rock flows tighter than ya ***** clothes
N ***** hole
Bump Lamar n J Cole
Cnotes of **** at least in the bowl
Never will i fold
Them critics be  suspicious ridiculous
On my **** cuz its so delicious
No diamonds are precious here
I make cumbulus clouds drop tears
Another fear
Sent by me cuz im ya nemesis
Takin' on all of the genesis
Its beginnin' of my slaughterhouse
Created the world in six days
On the seven i came out the crud of clay
Judgment day
When they see me they pray
Lile Muslims givin' honor Mecca
Ultimate wrecker microphone check
One two im.comimg with words that spew
Turn leechers face blue you n yo crew
Can catch a contact
But cant numb me my raw raps
Leave you guessin' n stressin' im a blessin'
In disguise close ya eyes
Say with me " im the best"
Just before i give you a pass
I put 3 in ya chest
For tha holy the father and the son
Never disrespect the don corelone
Kiss my rings when you see me
When i spit on the mic
They nostrils flare glare
and quote
"it's the ghost of
B--I--G"

Why yall sportin' honeys
Im flashin' money
By the ton like CBo
My career shine like Glo Mo
Movin' so fast
Got my critics in slow mo
you ******* can kiss the rain bow
******* check how my **** hangs low
**** slow spit sloppy
We gettin' busy in a bugguati
Killuminati got my own imperial
We makin' mad loot
Clockin' our own serials
My team dangerous in guns we trust
Not God wipe out the must
Get away cleab if ya kniw what i mean
Dip the scene extract the cream
From these powder puff emcees geez?
Why so much of em
Try to talk hard but end up of roughin' em
Now they in bluff
I say quick prayer shots off to the head
Dome put em to rest the best
To ever mic test mic murderer natural born killer
Im deservin' tha
Praise keep eyebrows raised yall gettin' played
I sprayem with my venom like raid
Like roaches they only come in the dark
Once i put the spark
They clear out of the park
My rolex gets ***** with ease
Pack desert ease
If ya wanna test I'll make chest sneeze
Oozin' with blood soaked clothes
Now count them holes
Embedded passin' me forget it now ya admitted
To I C U now i see you gaspin' for breath
Close ya teary eyes be prepared for death as i..


Cyrus Gold Apr 2016
I have to be honest.
There was a time when I wondered what would become of you
Call it a sign but it’s harder to see your point of view
Wanted to know how somebody could be so cold
A woman who pays no mind sayin’ friendship is gettin’ old

Elder abuse to social interactions
And even without excuses it’s harder to see the usage
Of minutes I spent on textin’ her, mind you the reason
I’m doin’ it cause I want to while thinkin’ that I was testin’ her

But ultimately I started to know her character
Havin’ respect without knowin’ what to expect
Independence rooted in spirit, harder to scrape the fibre
Hopin’ not to admit that she’s beautiful, run it by her

The conversations we’re havin’, I’m lookin’ forward to them
I’m always checkin’ on her, I wonder why
But I’m guessin’ she thinks I’m smitten too, she might be onto somethin’
Amazin’ features, I’m thinkin’ up quite a song from nothin’

Beautiful name and I always stop to admire it
Guard her attention from lesser men who desire it
I need to know my place, happy to read what she types
Nobody’s type, yet expression of envy on my face

Force to be reckoned with, aimin' for that perfection
And I’m takin’ a second displayin’ my full affection
By writin’ this little lyrical letter, I’m feelin’ better now
I've made her curious, startin’ to feel the pressure now

A livin’ Princess in love with god’s creatures
And compared to many she suffers from odd features
But not to me cause I’m lookin’ past all the layers
Messagin’ late at night and we’re callin’ each other later

I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way
A great companion cause friendship is for another day
I’m not the type to disappear if there’s no interest
Happy to tell you - I promise that I am here to stay.
One of my personal favorites.
pauldeeeeee Jul 2011
these days, society aint nice.. so i can probably steal rhymes from your mind and sell it back to you for half price.. i might even do it twice.. they should stop rolling that dice.. stop treating us like mice.. writing became an escape, a vice.. trying to make people not take their advice.. cause mine's more precise.. this world has been overturned by ignorant thinking and ****** up lies.. they've charged us with having too much screams and cries.. making our world their daily heist.. learning how to pick up a knife and splice.. does the sight of me keep you guessin? or do you understand the stressin? the aggression.. are you waiting for a confession? or do you see why i have this depression? this free expression.. my consciousness cant fathom this recession.. wont understand why people look down on my profession.. i write.. cause i choose not to fist fight.. and even if i teach people how to survive, i also teach them how to get as high as a kite.. so they'd understand that life isnt just about fighting the blight.. we must emerge from this back night.. stronger than we were, armed to the teeth with pure light.. my imagination soars up in te heights to meet the maker's knight.. asking him about how i can help to stop people taking their flights and look inside themselves to find the true meaning of their life.. this is where i found the schools i need to educate me on how to end pain and strife.. this is where i found myself shattered and torn like getting cut by sharp glass of a knife.. this is where i found out that i wasnt ready to have her for a wife.. i needed so much to learn.. to step into the fire but walk out without any burn.. i stop myself and ask myself what i really yearn.. i yearn for truths.. but are these truths enough to make me move forward? these pains push me toward doing something good.. but my principles are never understood.. cause nowadays it's just all about should, would, or could.. sometimes i would plead, cry, and beg for change to remain the same.. unpredictable, imaginative, and never on the same page.. i no longer want to be locked up in a cage.. nor to be ridicules on stage.. and i no longer want to be controlled by this rage.. i want to be me.. able to create and learn anything just by being free.. able to sing songs and write poems with humility.. and all we have to do to achieve this is to just be..

pauldeeeee
17may2011
"Yeah i had to drop some
People out of my circle
So here's a special ******* *****
Im a rebel and an outlaw
This goes out to my enemies feel me?"


Yeah how many wanna
Come try to ****** me
My secrecy
Driving suckas in insanity
Pleas don't step to
This real G
I been hustlin' since
The age of three
Hey now my adversaries
Wanna see me buried
But don't worry
I'll grant ya wish
Real easily
Burn 'em all with the desert ease
If they don't ease
Watch the bullets
To ya mind I tease
I gives a ****
About a notion
My only mission is
To keep exposin'
Muthaphukkaz in position
Keep my critics guessin'
So stop with ******* testin'
Cuz I'll teach you
******* a lesson my immortal
Flow unlocked from my portal
Of thoughts so ****
What you thought?
I Yosef can never
Be bought
****** and ******* be
Buggin' keep my stare muggin'
Cold nights
Alone in the dark
Hittin' my spliff spark
Peep out the window
For narcs
Hey got the guns ready
Ripped like a michete
Ain't too many ready
Cuz heated mentality heavy
So brace yourself
When you in the presence of a Don
Comin' to bring punishment son

Cuz I'm an outlaw outlaw outlaw
Fools tryna get me bent
Outlaw outlaw outlaw
God save me from my foes
Leave em all exposed


Huh before I raise my
Pistol
I say a deep prayer
Wonderin' if there's a
Heaven really up there
Blurred sights from a glare
But we right here
In this atmosphere
So that ******* don't steer
Or smear me
I'm an outlaw out for the law
Never talked with a
Closed jaw word to the Ra
Addicted to interruption
Of the ******' law
Merciless heartless apart from this
I'm rippin' through hearts
Deeper than an abyss
Hey here's a kiss
A slug from a drive by
Braille you third eye
Soul searchin' the sky
Like Bill I'm science guys
Thinking of ways
To improvise more
Bodies to lie and die
Rot in the beaming sun
Ever since I shun
And became a soldier
To the rebel nation
Got communications
With all my comrades
Yeah we all bad cuz we never had
Love from the start
I knew my part
My life growing in troubles
But don't worry me
Cuz it's just the outlaw in me

Cuz ima outlaw outlaw outlaw
They tryna get me bent
Outlaw outlaw outlaw
God save me from
All my foes leave all exposed
Huh


"Yeah they think this is a joke
Fools wanna see me fall
Bu5 Never that I'll still ball
Coming back at cha
I'll never die I'll only multiply
Once my cash game rise
Watch how many leechers rise
Right in from of yo
Muthaphukkin' eyes no surprise
****** n *******
Can't peacefully see the sunrise
Cuz they got all eyes
On the Don Yosef
******* haters n future hataz
From foes and imitators
Y'all only advance me greater
***** die slow punks
Imma rrise all day everyday fuckaz"
Cyrus Gold Apr 2016
Spinnin’ runnin’ circles on my mind like a roller coaster
Feelin’ feelings of fumbles and tackles I ain’t supposed to
Facin ‘ the loss of a good person just like I remember
In December suspected the fallin’ out but things were simpler

Happier times and facin’ the world – we were together
Smiles and happy vibes all around – birds of a feather
Can’t seem to pinpoint the exact moment within our history
When everything was fallin' apart like an unsolved mystery

Connection so sacred, how can this love turn into hatred?
She ain’t the one? I’m guessin’ it’s time to exit the matrix
Face the world at its bleakest gettin’ tired of all this fake ****
Cupid’s venom radiatin' on a regular basis

Stasis at its most basic got me feelin’ like an instrument
Gettin’ played by many different women  - a state of detriment
Turnin’ to Howard Hughes – isolation within the bachelor pad
Couldn’t accept the division of us - guess this is the aftermath.
From a real place. A breakup that I wasn't sure how to handle. So I wrote about it.
Pow!!!
Look up in the sky the Heavens
Pouring Out Hells Blessin'
We cursed and we stressin' guessin'

Who the enemies is but look around
All around us the demons lurking
Fools minds is twerking jerking

Can't *** with **** Cuz we so Wicked
Desperate for a meal ticket
We gotta keep our family feed
Look into the book life for my daily bread Prayers said but I feels like it's all dead
Since slavery left us in dread
Bunch of bloodshed
News media newspapers head

Line talkin about the worst Is yet to come Some
Get it some don't admit it ya *******
Most over did it
Playin' for.drug sells destined for jail
But can't get acquitted

Or No bail no love from the courts
Cuz they makin' profits off sales
Our ***** ain't catchin' on
Sprinkle ya past the break of dawn to the early morn
Peepin' watchin' for 65s creepin'
Mental seapin' from knowledge
That stabbed on my conscious
Sick of the silly nonsense I'm intense
Blunt sessions immense common sense

Is lackin' nigguh is slackin'
Now I'm all for my.peeps but not pro-blackin'
Cuz nigguhs quick to sell.u out for a buck
Then back.on the corner saying they wish
You wasn't stuck
In the system when they could have helped

But the hood slogans with
No snitchin'
Tryna hold down a hood they ain't even
Gettin' a commission
in your name learn the rules to the game
Nigguh the deadliest move in silence
Invoke violence

Without presence of being shown
Corporate America Owns
The hoods and we fall victim to there stupidity off stupidity
Ignorance self hatred insecurity as validity I.pity
These ******' critics hypocrites
NAACP suckin' white supremacy **** get off the *****
***** before I hit

the switch brain shocker
Shut down malfunction
Now society's in a rage get the twelve Guage
Cuz I refuse to be slave and I'll pave
A way even if I gotta die from.from.the words that I say

Take heed I know I was cursed from my seed Indeed
Deaths come for everyone
but I'll ****** that ***** with my shot gun

I ain't scared fool
As I sip on the henny hit the blunts slow
Meditate my minds circlin'
Playin' tricks who's that peepin' in my window
Pow!!!!!
Cameron Boyd Jul 2016
Waiting here
Looking at the stars
Watching all the pretty people
Climb in all the pretty cars.

The sun's creepin up
With the numbers on the clock,
It's got me second guessin
If I'm really waiting for you
Or if it's all just a show
'Cause my car wont start
And my doors- they just wont lock.

This old four stroke engine
Never won a race;
Make a lot of noise, but it
Never took first place.
I used to hear it bangin' round my chest, now,
A friendly little growl,
I hope it only takes a rest, now, baby,
I haven't heard it in a while.

I ain't burnin' diesel, baby,
and I ain't burning coal.
I ain't burnin' much now, maybe
That's why I'm so cold.
RatQueen Feb 2018
Regrets bounce around back and forth inside my mind
like a game of pong
a purgatory
making me cockeyed
I try to explain that I have nowhere left to hide
Every emotion
sensation
obsession
amplified
Maybe when I was young I needed something you couldn't provide
Maybe my little apple slices were covered in pesticide
Speculation of course
it can't be simplified
A combination of factors that together fortified
An illness
A flaw inside of me
so vicious
My intentions in the right place but my actions turned malicious
We tried to fight back with multiple prescriptions
I popped 6 or 7 without reading the description
You'll have to excuse me and my self fulfilling prophecy
I catch myself getting bad again constantly
It's not done consciously
And then yall get gossipy
about my lack of modesty
All that **** you're spewing you should invest in a colostomy
I don't know who I am without the drama
Without the trauma
Without the late night calls crying for my mama
I try to listen but its like I'm rotten to the core
I tried to stop it all that day but they broke down the bathroom door
Asphyxiation
And another state petition
Humiliation
At my failed suicide mission
I figured I'd grin and bear it
Act recovery driven
My insurance will boot me either way in 5-7
Why are you so angry?
What is at the source?
Can you pinpoint it?
Do you think it's run its course?
Don't you ever get tired?
Of being so dramatic
Everyone has problems
Some cobwebs in their attic
Yeah I do get tired
I'm exhausted actually
Of constantly being at different extremes mentally
Polar opposites
I wish I could be competent
I would trade my mania to truly be self confident
Nature versus nurture
A classic debate
Which one is more at fault for causing those to deviate?
A long line of addiction
Or abusive tendencies
Is it genetics?
Or painful first memories?
You wonder why I go for guys that hurt me in the end
When I get down about myself it's your voice inside my head
I've done some things in my life that keep me up at night
I've been so afraid of failing that for years I never tried
From an early age I just wanted to be loved
To be held, to be kissed, to be cradled, to be hugged
Instead I got tossed around and used like a rag-doll
When someone treats me good
I'm at a loss of how to handle
Sweeter than honey and it keeps my ego fed
But I repeat bad habits and cycles instead
I've been here before and man isn't it funny
How desperate I am for you to ******* love me
It serves to ask questions and poke at insecurities
I put my all into serving others and its so ******* embarrassing
I'd do anything and perhaps it is my downfall
But I didn't anticipate such a quick and subtle curveball
It's pathetic call the medic
Sedate me
anesthetic
Put the drugs on credit
I just want to forget it
All the way
but I guess I'm here to stay
Cant even **** myself right
Jesus christ, what a cliche
It's a new day
gotta fight through the pain
It's okay
its okay
it's okay
it's okay
I got these regrets
like I said
and I'm sailing off course
I'm nothing but the walking dead
but I try to consider the source
I repeat things and stumble
all on autopilot
I'm hardwired to **** up
and I'm done trying to hide it
a moment of silence
for all that couldn't have been
a lust for violence
and an appetite for bloodshed
beg for an abrasion
and physical injury
contusions
gashes
lacerations
dulls what's happening in me
all these different methods
to avoid my introspection
******* myself up
relieves the constant tension
acting up and acting out
gets me the attention
and impulsive actions keep all around me guessin'
Now, tell me, is that what you expected?
Edited Nov 2019, a poem about mental illness
Homunculus Dec 2014
We've gotta find a new vessel,
For the waters have capsized,
Submerged and baptized, now
Our thoughts are chastised,
Drowning in an ocean of mass lies, and
Can't see the sky, but
Who am I to say?
To come and pull you from your ways?

I will simply ask:

Today, will you allow your will to be
Detained and contained, and maintain
A state of utter disdain,
With men exploiting your pain, or
Will you rejoice in refrain?
It's only human to complain,
It's only human to question, and
I think you'll find that in so doing,
There's a valuable lesson, and
There's no need for guessin',
I'll just break it to you, and
Say that power spawns corruption,
In the hands of the few,
The pages of our history
Have shown it to be true,
With political dissonance,
Making dissidents indifferent,
Coercive influence invades
The minds of the constituents, and
In a way it just may be,
A new era of slavery, and
It never ceases to amaze me,
How crazy it gets,
We argue over hair splits, and
Ignore the bigger picture,
With a mixture of,
Destruction, and distraction,
Take no action, and lack a
Greater sense of satisfaction,
They say that ignorance is bliss, but
I'm aware and I'M ******, and
It's no lie that once I die,
My cherished views will not be missed, but
Til then I'll keep writing, and hope that
People start fight, and igniting
A new spark to change the lighting, and
Yes,  I realize that it all may seem
A little frightening, but
I forgot, you have a TV, so
Why should you care what I think?
its hard letting it show and getting a hold
of emotion when letting go, or moving on
when all you gots self help knowing anyone else,
you vent to will give an apathetic yawn

So I record this for those who hoard this
same fear and board it needing strength
stress so enormous aborted is storage of gorgeous  
dreams resorted to feelin horrid for lifes length

It can be a struggle drowning in tear puddles
as trouble, less than subtle doubles to attack
And every stride doesn't abide or Coincide as snakes
rise, til your tries of going forward flies back

To square one, and in life rare is fun thats
fair to none, we were taught
Or told,so be bold in lifes cold and hope as you get old
youll get to hold the gold you sought

and ill be first confessing how distressing
and depressing life is, so less interesting to you
is being targets, and seeing how charmless the  
arm pitts of lifes hardships are, but true

is how we grew from it, learning to control
frustration when we lost and had to let go
teaching us the cost of a loss, and to cherish what we got  
before we do not, and learn as a whole

to fight it off dont write it off, from a loss, like
calling a cough fatal but a slump confuses
so we sacrifice triumph for lumps concluded
when at most it was only bumps and bruises

But the more humps eluded
The less theyre found to be intrusive
And lack of experience separates the greats
from the ignorant fake and stupid

Transforming Translucent to Lucid
Helping the disapproved prove its
Only movement with motivation will prove an
approved transformation to see improvement

Recycling for beneficial Accruement
so positioned positivity surrounds my proximity
Ignore judgement given with no realistic vision  
like religion and ****** Proclivity

Cuz alive and well is vocal Bigotry
Don't let it lead to Social misery
Nothing but insanity and vanity can come
from some dumb boastful imagery

Just concentrate on denying timidity
All u need is a path spacious for clarity
Be honest with yourself, embrace its sincerity
to trump the negatives of bein an Auspicious Rarity

And soon the limitations will dissipate
and'll incubate prematurity from the womb
so the happiness it Impedes will now lead with speed
and feed whats conceived and leave you immune

to The sadness that presumes to bloom and consume
the needed room to emphatically feel free
Sometimes the mentality of normality is just a fallacy
to stop empowering the masses but we

need To dissemble what resembles self hate
its poisonous to our mental plot  
so fight like you were a ****** blow addict
against psychosomatic havoc reeking thoughts

Of conformity when normalcy lives In abnormal
habitats, and almost extinct is average acts of affection
to ones self cause, and ones doubts'll come out as we
figure out, true perfection lies in imperfection

and that visions the driven means of conception
who we are, what is given and what will be
And evidentially this entity essentially will remedy
being our own enemy then eventually proceed

To prove as key, and all we ever need
To be secure, and to assure our second guessin
can be denied and die as no longer are we tied to  
what insecurities imply forcing us to question

If our quests less our own invention
as we are stuck restin' in a direction
Thatll leave us stressed and left in debt to our
future set, hoping to avoid collections

Cuz the confidence to believe we wont regret
is needed, while perusing
dreams seen as too far or too hard from where
you are but so is anything worth doing

So don't hesitate to pass and move on from a past
that knocked you off your path on your ***
Just continue this rat race or waste what awaits
as you erase manifestation to grasp

what destiny had, so Let go, and move on,
being victorious maybe laborious, but it'll help
emit the enriched bliss fueling you to dismiss
doubt amidst lifes struggles and finding out
  
that if you Learn from mistakes, and shake the self-hate
that makes you controlled by fears based  
on statistical outcomes, that say to out run the high
risk, but when you are faced

with a mirror showing the face of
your raised self doubt, dont mask it
cause within us is both the magic to pass it or the
havoc traffic of our doubts to help end tragic

so act drastic and grab it, hold the mirror that
mirrors doubts and grasp it
then **** residule subliminal doubt, of this cynical
criminals habitual ritual as you smash it

Cause confidence is needed to believe in what we do
and who we are while perusing
dreams that seem too far from where we are or too
hard but ..so is anything worth doing
Gotta release the stress
The only way I know how
Without an inebriation Or intoxication, type vacation, so now...

If only for a second, my weapon
To concentrate on conception
Of good karma, and ****** no one,
But often a ethical or moral direction

Leaves me second guessin
Do I even ask the right questions
When I'm answered with a lesson to
unfold more question So progression

Calls me infertile with contraception
That Clings like a
Chinese finger trap ****** and transgressions
Leaves Ramifications, or Consequence, Of my discrepancies,
To stir.... To bubble .. To boil..
Til the evil inside is a dichotomy, where good can try
but ego,tempts the unethical to hide
The moral fibers,
And seek pride
The pride it's chased being misplaced
Or erased for so long it's arbitrary,
As emotions ominous ocean Drowns it,
Til I'm surrounded
swallowed, like *****
and no help
Is self loathin or pity,
cuz it makes me a type of livid so vivid, even when it looks like it's asleep,
Still even Bill Cosby couldn't ****** it
knowin this is hell,
serves me well
And swells as its felt
From all the *******
...... I bring myself

Trust me I've tried to frame it
On anything like lazy People do immigrants,
but eventually I face it ...
Left with nothing but this release
That is the relief as a consolation
Airing my ****,
I try to keep in like some weird reverse constipation

Til I see stars but constellations
Even align to find a consultation
Gratuitous,
cause Im ******* abit
More than a bit,
so the offered achin'Im accepted,
cuz exceptions
Can't be made so I'm expecting my
Come around,
that went around
Like it goes around,
to my backside,
For a reach around.
Like ******,
I thought to be
The type of the
"try it once"anomaly
That didnt sound bad when awfully
Distracted indulging like an economy
Spending freely,
Makin commodities
Amenities and justify it like an idiotic neo Socrates to convince with a moronic
"YOLO"type Philosophy  
Maybe I shouldn't .....
But then again
YOLO ....
******* deep type ****
Cause in the end as men,
we invite in
Future discomfort if impulse hits
The present,
like the worst present
Ever presented to you,
but hell
Just for show ....
When i unwrap it
I'll act shocked,
and surprised...

I didn't realize this gifted go **** yourself was actually so literal...
So try not to **** yourself like I often do...unless...an ******* the residual
Cedric McClester Apr 2015
By: Cedric McClester

Better days lie ahead
At least that’s what I thought he said
While on a tour of New Orleans
But what I think he really means
Is things are better than before
Yet we know he should do much more
To rectify the situation
Nola’s still part of our nation
Better days lie ahead
For the homeless not the dead
Whose bloated bodies floated by
In a way no one should die
Cos FEMA wasn’t energetic
Their response was just pathetic
Showing up three days late
Having victims sit and wait

Better days lie ahead
We’re tired of the rhetoric
Just tell us when it’s getting fixed

While his friends are getting paid
He claims real progress has been made
There’s little progress we can see
Being made for you and me
But he says things are going fine
He’s either crazy or he’s blind
Cos progress has been slow to date
And people are still forced to wait
For the help they’re supposed to get
Most of them are at their end’s wit
Trying to figure how to make it
And some of them just plain can’t take it
The levees are still inadequate
And that don’t help us not one bit
Who know when the next hurricane
Will bring flood waters and torrential rain

Better days lie ahead
We’re tired of the rhetoric
Just tell us when it’s getting fixed

He comes down here for photo opps
But hasn’t pulled out all the stops
And mean while we’re still suffering
And wondering where the hell he’s been
With all the help he said we’d get
That hasn’t materialized quite yet
And we’re still waiting to rebuild
To have our empty stomachs filled
But all we get is rhetoric
And that can’t buy us ****
I don’t know and so I’m guessin
But in this there must be some lesson
That I must have missed in school
Call me stupid or a fool
Fool me once but not again
Which begs to ask the question when

Better days lie ahead
We’re tired of the rhetoric
Just tell us when it’s getting fixed

Better days lie ahead
At least that’s what I thought he said
While on a tour of New Orleans
But what I think he really means
Is things are better than before
Yet we know he should do much more
To rectify the situation
Nola’s still part of our nation
Better days lie ahead
For the homeless not the dead
Whose bloated bodies floated by
In a way no one should die
Cos FEMA wasn’t energetic
Their response was just pathetic
Showing up three days late
Having victims sit and wait



(c) Copyright 2015, Cedric McClester.  All rights reserved.
Better Days was my take on the government response to Hurricane Katrina under George "Dubya" Bush's leadership, or lack thereof.
theunrealist Oct 2015
Who gave you the key to my cage?
I've embraced my death, like its love or compassion.
Four blank walls, suppressin my guessin.
Born into this, pulled out of it, now where do I go from here?
Colors fade.
Ideas change.
Defamation of the martyrs stage.

Never agreed to be freed.
Rusted metals attached to me.
I'm forced to drag it around,
Until the limb gives out.
To learn to live is what im limping toward.
But where do I begin?
Colors change.
Ideas fade.
Evolution of the modern age.
Isty Apr 2016
still we're all here searching
and we all hear hurting
so we all keep hurting
something inside
gives uh rise
too live,
this lurkin' dark demon
a burden
sometimes i wanna
let it in, for I
Feel like a docile weapon, stressin' contemplatin'
waitin' and guessin'
ready to be sharpened
i feel the potential
and to mention
i know if its not the pain
then its the hardenin'
stuck in that
habitual mental
steppin
in precense
the time is now
and surely its not
cause time can never be caught
make best what you will
cause when you're in it you're lost
alexis hill Nov 2016
from the look
on you're face
just guessin you've
been addicted to hate.

cause you
didnt understand
the gravity.
the weight.

makin the darkness
a deeper shade
grey matter driftin
through the brain

manifesting deception
sin sampled
with evil its
simple and plain

doesn't matter
how you hold it
twist it, leash it
make it or ignore it

who's gonna be
the bare witness for
every important series
of events you experienced

the come up
is what we live for
and the come down
is when we die

so I try to breathe
try to sleep
try to close my eyes
I simply try to try

so why can't being alive
mirror what I wish
was the perfect high?
uh my clan be ***** as the Taliban
with illegal contraband
got more heat than desert stand
one man stand on the mic
i rock im as hard as a ****
in between a ***** legs
gettin' ready to knock
ya out with flows i expose
the industry closed
once yosef pours
out the blessin got me foes guessin no stressin
**** and henney sessions
new lessons
daily sip irish creme baily
they cant play me but pay me
listen to styles p or bump biggie
or maybe 2 p a c
host aks at birthdays
im al caponin' it runnin' ****
like diarrhea
yall just need ta
sit the **** back while i count benjamins stacks
which be
in bundle king of the hip hop jungle
and im
going to **** puffie diddy
He soft as a nestle cookie
Make mysteries
no rookies
cant play with me in this deadly game
lite a match for the flame
burn the fame
infamous is how i keep it man
hol up


I see the hate excite of the critics
Gimmicks leave with they headsplitted
And backs more open than parachute
From the guns that shoot 21 salute
Dont ya know im soldier
I keep glocks hot as folgers
In ya cup i interrupt the scene
Once i puff red hair greens
Ya drivin a limousine
N ill throw grenade in ya sunroof
And watch it land inbetween
Ya legs
So ya can blow ya own head
Get it naw forget
All i see is yellow tapes chalks
And you being admitted
To the hospital in critical
Condition no intermission
All ya memory left is ya see is my face
Im like the son of man
Leavin competition running
Marathons cuz im the biggest don
They call me the Holy one
Cuz of the way my guns
Put holes in one
The rawest spit flawless
Talk **** we'll leave ya jawless
Throw ya remains in the death valley
With the rest of the restless carcass
Apostrophe's Feb 2018
I've got a lot of questions
And I've learned a lot of lessons
But the relentlessness to ask 'em
  Always keeps me guessin'
You learn things better the hard way...
Should I starve today
  and spend my money on the lottery?
Or buy a 12 pack and attack another artery
Every day it's gettin' harder for me
But it's feelin' like there's a part of me
That's startin' me to realize
things ain't really like they oughta be.
People's justification and rationalization
Keep me tuned in on a station
findin' life even more evasive.
and I find myself just wasting
all my patience on just waitin'
and thinking in contemplation
When I awaken...
Will I still wander while I wonder
And wonder while I wander
How much longer
it'll be
'til we grow strong enough to see
that what we actually believe
isn't fact
and we've been decieved
everyone will be relieved
That we just need to plant a seed
And a new garden will grow
Like it did so long ago to make today
And in our day and age
It seems that things will never change
But change today or walk the plank
Steady movin' up the ranks
Until I stopped and thought in thanks
to the conclusions I draw and then erase.
Listen to my inner dialogue it says...
Only reason we're breathin'
Is cuz while others were bleedin'
People were seein' the treason
And called together a meetin'
  To declare authority
A reason of ignoring me
A reason of exploring the seas
A reason of cuttin' down trees
where animals used to breathe and live free.
Instead we lock 'em in cages
or shoot 'em with 22 gauges
It's so outrageous
Our worth is based on our wages
We **** to get some bills
with a buncha old guy's faces
And sit back in amazement
With a smile on our face-lift
Wrote most of this when I was much younger...hence the title...enjoy angry teenage me. Somehow I remembered most of it. Lol...
Pow!!!
Look up in the sky the Heavens
Pouring Out Hells Blessin'
We cursed and we stressin' guessin'
Who the enemies is but look around
All around us the demons lurking
Fools minds is twerking jerking
Can't *** with **** Cuz we so Wicked
Desperate for a meal ticket
We gotta keep our family feed
Look into the book life for my daily bread Prayers said but I feels like it's all dead
Since slavery left us in dread
Bunch of bloodshed
News media newspapers head
Line talkin about the worst Is yet to come Some
Get it some don't admit it ya *******
Most over did it
Playin' for.drug sells destined for jail
But can't get acquitted
Or No bail no love from the courts
Cuz they makin' profits off sales
Our ***** ain't catchin' on
Sprinkle ya past the break of dawn to the early morn
Peepin' watchin' for 65s creepin'
Mental seapin' from knowledge
That stabbed on my conscious
Sick of the silly nonsense I'm intense
Blunt sessions immense common sense
Is lackin' nigguh is slackin'
Now I'm all for my.peeps but not pro-blackin'
Cuz nigguhs quick to sell.u out for a buck
Then back.on the corner saying they wish
You wasn't stuck
In the system when they could have helped
But the hood slogans with
No snitchin'
Tryna hold down a hood they ain't even
Gettin' a commission
in your name learn the rules to the game
Nigguh the deadliest move in silence
Invoke violence
Without presence of being shown
Corporate America Owns
The hoods and we fall victim to there stupidity off stupidity
Ignorance self hatred insecurity as validity
I.pity
These ******' critics hypocrites
NAACP suckin' white supremacy **** get off the *****
***** before I hit the switch brain shocker
Shut down malfunction
Now society's in a rage get the twelve Guage
Cuz I refuse to be slave and I'll pave
A way even if I gotta die from.from.the words that I say
Take heed I know I was cursed from my seed
Indeed
Deaths come for everyone but I'll ****** that ***** with my shot gun
I ain't scared fool
As I sip on the henny hit the blunts slow
Meditate my minds circlin'
Playin' tricks who's that peepin' in my window
Pow!!!!!
Alexandra Dec 2014
Baby, there's things i'd love to tell you, but im scared. Scared you'll hate me. Scared you'll never want to start over. Scared that i'll lose you. I miss your stupid smile, your pointless facts, i love! The way you make me smile, just by looking at me. You can give me butterflies the easiest of ways. You make me want to flood the oceans, with my tears, and you make me feel so happy. If i could change back the clock i would. I would try and be better. I told you from the beginning that i was a challenge, and im guessin you didnt believe me... Im sorry. Sorry i was so cruel-hearted. Sorry that i didnt think about you in my actions... Sorry i still love you because you've moved on and im still crying oceans for you.
Jey Blu Dec 2017
The progression of depression
It really is not a blessin
It's not healthy to be supressin
All of your aggression
Everyone gets the wrong impression
They say just get a session
With a guy in the right profession
Keep right on assessin
I tried that once it kept me guessin
Bringing up all these microaggressions
Lemme backtrack now I'm digressin
I have to hide every expression
On my face keep on repressin
I can't just be professin
Every single transgression
Makes me feel like **** no more fessin
Up to anything keep it all inside harnessin
Every thought kept in check obsession
With nobody knowing it's pressin
That its a secret that can't be let out I'm stressin
I really ******* hate this depression
I tried to rhyme oops
listening to this new rap
makes me wanna take a nap
I wish I could slap
all these mumble rappers
backwards act awkward
cuz my guns call
out cowards
soon to get showered
by my bullets no protection
ya stiff as an *******
teaching lessons
hidden like a blessing
for those who guessin?
step back before. ya get hit
like a lumberjack
split ya like a crack
yea it's yosef
on a sneak attack
black in effect reject
what society sets
jet like a ski getting busy as a bee
I know ya don't like me
but I gives a ****
competition fronting
be prepare for the slam summer jam
at the bayou classic
spittin flawless with my magic
got ya stunned as voodoo who crew ?
could do what we do?
stay fry or better yet high
just giving up the real
knocking empire down
for mass appeal



prepare for the Armageddon
no more letting
up as I bruise up
the corrupt
makin slices
like cold cuts
like jelly in the ****
naw I ain't trying
to diss the ladies
but the ladies be playing games
with ya mind g
in society
I rep the **** and the **** I rep
watch my steps
so I don't fall
victim to the game or the system
hit em with a rhytmn
that they can't deny
got ya knot like in ties word to the wise
like smoke on the rise
ya know the degrees
getting hotter and hotter
smooth as Sinatra
break em off proper
once the keys tease
to ya mind I please .with these
lyrics hard for ya to clear it
once I steer it
in ya direction make a selection
who ya choosin
them wackos
or the true rap impresario intellectual
cuz I'm keepin' it real real
knockin flakes out
claimin they got mass appeal
Yeah in Texas we love to swang
Switch through the lanes
While smokin' on Mary jane
It don't matter what ya claim
We spit flames sittin' on 84
Twistin' round and round
And you can hear the bassing sounds
Thumpin' keep the streets jumpin'
Much love to the originator
I'm talkin' the ***** creator
Earl Davis a legend so don't be second guessin'
Or you'll be gettin' a blessin'
Surprise from my Smith n Wesson
Sittin on Vogues 15s or 14s
Gold over chrome in chrono order
My appeal is so real
So ya know all haters feel
Jealousy and envy but it don't bend me
I just chill and let the wind breeze take me
Into another zone I'm game smooth *** baritone
Gets me a bunch girls to bone
Intellects sang
rollin'hard chirpin' on them thangs

Bound to be a sunny day
In that sunshine state
Texas breakin' crates cuz our music rake
From the streets to the jail cells
Makin' revenue with the crew
Black & Hebrew
No time for evil I moved pass that level
These devils wanna see me fall
But will Still continue to ball
Til I'm over the top chillin' in a million dollar loft
Breakin' off proper treat my guns
Like a visa
I'll never leave my chopper at home
Pushin' more domes than the astros
Wrapped around ya mind like a lasso
Live everyday Like my last though
Just a hustler spittin over instrumentals
Rhymes verbal where's the punisher?
Foes soon to be a victims
From tyna still thangs
Still servin' up on them thangs

— The End —