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alexis hill Jun 4
today

I sat very still

the kind where you can almost hear the silence. I could feel my heart alive in my chest. beating.

walk on. walk on. walk on.

it wasn’t easy
I had to crawl to get here.

a lot of time spent tip toeing
through easily depressing situations

I don’t do well with emotional upsets
slit wrists
like please don’t hurt me
palms curled to a fist

but I couldn’t seem to
escape
his body weight

some things you just can’t
undo

unlike a knot tied
and pulled tightly
straight like a line
testing for sobriety

I AM NOT
linear

but you are

just like how you
think the past
shouldn’t
bother
me

and how recovery
should be me
getting over
it all

can you really call
yourself a professional
if you have never
walked the line?

so.

please- try mine.
life side.
alexis hill May 9
not many people like you
because you’re the type to
crawl
not in the literal sense
but in how long it
took to overcome withdrawal

see a lot of people have it
figured out
everyone’s sized you up
they want to seize you
trap you
inside a tiny plastic cup

some people like the way you look
others are afraid
beauty in your many behaviors
many faces
many legs

it’s incredible how intricate
you weave and toil lies
sinful in the way you look
all masked with butterflies

you have this thing you do
you spin them in all directions
then wrap them tightly
as a product of perfection

stressing over
pulling all the lines in time
since no one hates a spider more
than one they cannot find
things we love to hate. and the things we hate to love.
alexis hill Nov 2017
I'm empty
hollowed out inside
I feel absent
never present
in my mind

there is a fullness
like the moon
that I intend my
life to be

into the depths
of whom I am

I wonder if
empty will all
I'll be

fill me up
just one more shot
something to dull
the hurt

when the hurt becomes
worse
I question my
self worth

pain and suffering
add up to make
me wholesome

and much fuller
I will be
when I relentlessly try
to fill up
my forever
half empty.
alexis hill Aug 2017
i wanted to tell everyone all
the beautiful things
i loved about you

all the things
we know makes you
steal my breath away

i wanted to spread
love and
warm embraces

as if i were using
passion to paint
over everyone's imperfections

like my world
was a canvas
and the love
were my shades and hues

that i could help
you to love yourself
more

and for all of them
to love others
this way too

to think
that maybe
this kind of love
could help everyone

to see more
types of beautiful in
themselves
i always wanted to tell you, how much i loved you...
alexis hill May 2017
my strategy,
for this life or the next;
is that the only thing
I'll ever need
is the solace
of my own
sweet solitude.
alexis hill Apr 2017
perhaps life is
sharing more information with me
about this sensation
than what was done
before with that "physical"
kind of
love// language

words are not necessary
when understanding the
feeling of vibrations
in which are
brought upon me

both intuitively//
and instinctively//

this feeling is//
love.

the same feeling I was
taken out of
that is now inviting me back in//
alexis hill Apr 2017
what my wishes on a star
just might do
heavy with hope
till a comet shoots

strength like that of
a gamma ray
searing itself into your mind
you lie there with wonder
the cosmos in your eyes

your thoughts come to life
like a nebula cracking open

all of this seems to prey on you
and becomes too much
as you are ******
into a black hole

with immense force of gravitational pull
swallowed into the vastness of
the universe
like a jolt into reality
sent straight back to earth

I see my shooting star
in direct vision
in return the planets are
in a perfect orbital opposition
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