the verbal conversation is low
but they’ll like it better
if you type it

increase the vibe
with a new visual
to hype it
so i can project something digital

be sure to add a filter
and then take a selfie
for my thousands of “friends”
so they can harness my insecurities

credit my edits
to internet ideologies
but can a website
give you an apology

block you
from society
or let you join their
group on one strict policy

take out the truth
stake straight fake fallacies
un truth the truth
renew the news

fit the mold
for for their categories
tweet the twisted facts

so now
can someone
please follow me.

no one said it was easy
you create the path
spread the base on
it’s foundation
you lay the map

it’s the grapes of wrath
life got a ghastly grasp
seasoned in your present
like your soul is wrapped

i pack the first for last
i muled some dimes and sacks
intricate in so much evil like
they like their snacks

i’m sober now
so that’s all in the past
but i slaved for many years
i broke its back

sedated lids
sealed like permanent naps
but awake with rage
anxiety pulsating heart attacks

snaps for the poetry that
kept me from going mad
claps for the music
that kept me from crying over dad

i work and slave just
to pay the tax
i try to keep one face on
so i can ditch the mask

i haven’t written in a while
i thought i lost my raps
but i guess some things
in life just always last

today

I sat very still

the kind where you can almost hear the silence. I could feel my heart alive in my chest. beating.

walk on. walk on. walk on.

it wasn’t easy
I had to crawl to get here.

a lot of time spent tip toeing
through easily depressing situations

I don’t do well with emotional upsets
slit wrists
like please don’t hurt me
palms curled to a fist

but I couldn’t seem to
escape
his body weight

some things you just can’t
undo

unlike a knot tied
and pulled tightly
straight like a line
testing for sobriety

I AM NOT
linear

but you are

just like how you
think the past
shouldn’t
bother
me

and how recovery
should be me
getting over
it all

can you really call
yourself a professional
if you have never
walked the line?

so.

please- try mine.

not many people like you
because you’re the type to
crawl
not in the literal sense
but in how long it
took to overcome withdrawal

see a lot of people have it
figured out
everyone’s sized you up
they want to seize you
trap you
inside a tiny plastic cup

some people like the way you look
others are afraid
beauty in your many behaviors
many faces
many legs

it’s incredible how intricate
you weave and toil lies
sinful in the way you look
all masked with butterflies

you have this thing you do
you spin them in all directions
then wrap them tightly
as a product of perfection

stressing over
pulling all the lines in time
since no one hates a spider more
than one they cannot find

I'm empty
hollowed out inside
I feel absent
never present
in my mind

there is a fullness
like the moon
that I intend my
life to be

into the depths
of whom I am

I wonder if
empty will all
I'll be

fill me up
just one more shot
something to dull
the hurt

when the hurt becomes
worse
I question my
self worth

pain and suffering
add up to make
me wholesome

and much fuller
I will be
when I relentlessly try
to fill up
my forever
half empty.

i wanted to tell everyone all
the beautiful things
i loved about you

all the things
we know makes you
steal my breath away

i wanted to spread
love and
warm embraces

as if i were using
passion to paint
over everyone's imperfections

like my world
was a canvas
and the love
were my shades and hues

that i could help
you to love yourself
more

and for all of them
to love others
this way too

to think
that maybe
this kind of love
could help everyone

to see more
types of beautiful in
themselves

my strategy,
for this life or the next;
is that the only thing
I'll ever need
is the solace
of my own
sweet solitude.