"dissapears" poems
*if he crawls will you crawl too?
if he falls will you fall too?
he cries in silence can you not see his tears?
all kinds of hope dissapears.
no one sits with him cause he doesnt fit in,
but you feel like you do when you make fun of him.
it's not like you hate him and want him to die
but he might go home and think suicide
no one talks to him he feels so alone,
he's in so much pain to survive on her own.
he lives on the edge old enough to decide,
his brother who wants to be him is just nine
but she will be gone too soon*
(c.m.h)
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 3:13 PM UTC
The sea fades into a well blended orange sun. the deepest blue stretching its fingers grabbing the horizon line. ripples in the waves of color they crash into stars. the explosion peaks behind the darkest of clouds. the sea is drowning the colors of love and turning them muddy. the ocean is wrapped in brilliance laughing at the unattentive ones. the sun dissapears. its warmth gone Texas is now the spring of bluebonnets and sweet air. the handprint of faith stretches across the sky i believe to be my open sea.
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012 at 1:45 PM UTC
I do not believe in fairytales, so be straight,
Experience was present, and it's worth the faith.
I do not want to rely, on repeating hopes in oblivion,
If promises were prayers, I don't have religion.
Continuing is just a self-detonation, prolonging the agony,
blaming myself, living life hard sadly.
I am seeing the inequality, on every angle and scopes,
sometimes I am thinking hanging my neck on the ropes.
and as I blame,
negative tendency,
occurs.
comes, sudden,
unexpectedly.
but,
when I see you, negativity's gone,
my inspiration's overflowing,
keeps me away from frown.
but,
when I see you, my depth dissapears,
and all of a sudden,
I want to lend an ear,
but,
when I'm with you, my heart skips a beat,
I step out of my seriousness,
in your cup, I sitdown and take a sip,
but,
when I'm with you, I want to listen
I want to know you further,
overlaps, to what they're just seeing,
to hear every stories told, with your cheerful voice,
your warmth, that caresses my body,
builds up my poise,
transcends a choice, to be happy or not,
I forget all my worries,
and say I'm a little pessimist, but
..I am looking forward,
to stay this way,
for as long, as we both can,
complete our days.
Apr 25, 2011
Apr 25, 2011 at 6:18 AM UTC
Taken, screaming, kicking, his
nana's image slowly
dissapears
Being held tightly in tears,
nana is no longer there
No longer in nana's arms
He looks down at
dismal bottom steps
now empty
He smells the old wood
these steps of hell leading nowhere
Alien sounds from alien shoes,
he listens in fear and dread
Being lifted to an alien room;
taken against his six year old will
He remembers not what will come
remembering his nana's tears
at the bottom steps,
at the bottom steps of a foster home
And aghast, he was me...
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 4:52 PM UTC
"Thank you for saying Happy Birthday to Shimone"
my mother said and I kind of said oh, no problem
and we went on from there to argue since that is what
we do and she will never know who I am
and I assume she meant Happy Birthday on Facebook because I
certainly don't keep track of her friend's birthdays,
especially not her friends who live in Haifa and remind
me of my X
Upset, I ran off to the pool, hoping for endorphins
after some laps I rested at one end
and realized in a kind of slow, creeping way,
kind of like fog rolling in over the cliffs at Muir beach,
Not menacing, even beautiful, but a little cold, that
I never wrote anything to Shimone, not even on Facebook
No, I've been too self absorbed to write to my parents Israeli friends who used to
have me and my X over for Shabbat meals where I used to insist
on walking up the stairs since the elevator was small and hot and scared me
but he always wanted to ride in it
and one day we went over there was a sign on the apartments next door
that a woman had died in a terrorist attack the other day--
When a suicide bomber, afraid of the security guards at the nearby
mall, ran into an Arab restaurant conveniently located at a gas station
where all the best restaurants are,
and blew himself and everyone inside up
CNN international came for a day to report and then left the next
like a rude house guest who comes for your best food
and then dissapears, never to be heard from again
With my X, my mother always got cards she loved because he
knew just how to pick them and he'd send them without even telling me
sometimes faking my signature or
I just had to sign and he'd do the rest, in between crank calls to them at all hours,
taking advantage of the time zone. At once tormenting and caring for them
as he did for me
And now is he a ghost in my account?
A ghost, a fog, a memory, something ephemeral, not real
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013 at 12:58 AM UTC
looking the speed
searching the inner peace
like flying on a bike, or
getting a hard on, by it.
running on the night,
120 to feel alive, my life,
in a way , becomes, the
eternal night ride,
thanks god
for the freeway, and
the eternal look for inner peace,
the zen state, i'm getting
trow speed
like flying, or surfing
on the street, every thing
is clear at 120k, like tantric ***
or those eyes of the past,
one of two, cool memories
in a past full of pain.
after all the pain,
becomes the good memoir,
in a night of speed, appears,
those strawberry memoirs
in the night ride appears,
sudden and clear,
the state of speed,
looking for the inner peace,
or the state of zen release,
looking,
the one good memoir,
and flying on my bike.
surfing the asphalt,
wishing she could go faster
wishing for the peace,
and wanting the creep to dissapears,
looking for the peace , and hear him
inside of me, a creepy voice,
trying to justify his lies,
asking me to be, after all the harm,
still ask for a hand out,
after all the damage,
dares to ask for something.
during the night, y forget the betrayal,
and become a free man, and the
burning area feels the wind
looking in the night,
the eyes of the past, or the kimera
that will never appears,
even the one that loves me,
back stab me, love hurts right.
looking the peace, or getting
a kick, on the speed,
looking the zen state,
getting a hard on,with speed.
hearing the claims of me heart to be free,
and getting a hard on, in the
process,
all is clear, at full speed.
tight, and clean, no creeps,
just the kick, i'm getting
trow that lovely speed,
like flying on a machine.
looking and wanting
waiting on the coward chick,
that loves and hurts me,
like a kid, on first grade,
hurting what she ******* loves
like a coward, or a slave,
on this creeps trade.
slaves are not **** or cool,
even with a lion on her back,
afraid, of the hyenas, or this creep
**** and lovely coward,
let go, or say it to my face
time's running out, and i'm
not waiting anymore,
life's
like the night ride,
and i'm going at full speed,
always on the fone, green dress
and **** skin , your heart
belongs to the lion , hows going to eat it,
and grabbing your hair,
screaming my name,
as you take me in,
like in the freeway,
**** and lovely coward
if you love me, set me free,
**** gambas, set me free
i'm on the freeway, need
to touch somebody, and you
need me like the sun, and after all
will you dare to say it to my face.
i'm looking for the rush of love,
and become a *** addict,
of some girls skin, and i'll find
the skin to become addicted.
and looking for the zen state
and the skin of a girl to be a free,
**** and firm, shes going to be,
a free girl, addicted to my,
looking for the lovely lioness
waiting to the one, how well say it
to me face, forgetting the creeps wimps,
and their pathetic harassment,
and take
my hand, and get on
top of me.
a **** lionnes that looks,
the creeps to their faces,
and jump on top of me, looking at them
and be free, next to me.
looking for the brave lionnes,
that will loves me , and deal with it.
and be free right next to me.
on a state, of zen speed...
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
in sleep i speak
language forgotten,
to the one who'll never hear,
to man once important
to the man i held so dear.
in sleep i remember
my people,
and the land from where
i come,
all the things i left unsaid,
the things i
could have done.
But i forget all when awake
it dissapears behind my eye,
all except a word Manah,
a word wich means "life".
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 14, 2015 at 6:43 PM UTC
Do you know that feeling...when you fall in love?
When you start falling and you know you'll never get up.
When you give your happiness to someone,because you care for him more than you care for yourself.
Because you love him,more than you love yourself.
Do you know that feeling...when you fall in love?
When the touch of someones hands takes you to another dimension.
When you see another world in someones eyes,a world you always dreamed of.
Do you know that person...that makes you fall in love?
The same person who erases all your fears,making you feel safer than ever.
The same person who is the reason you cope with everything.
The reason to get up,live,and fight.
Do you know that feeling...when your heart breaks?
When that same person becomes stranger.
When the love dissapears like it never excisted.
When you become one big nothing to him.
But he is one everything to you.
He is and he will always be.
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 6:49 PM UTC
crow and crow
What is so fun about crowing?
Every morning the moon dissapears
Her trial still fresh
encircling the sky.
Not even sun can evaporate.
And with every new hour
I play a game-
Finder's Keeper.
Fun it seems.
One time I found a ring of fire.
A diamond engraved to its depth.
I kept it-
I tried to keep it.
I was left among ashes.
Treasure hunt, fun it seems.
But what is fun about crowing?
Every sound is fun,
when in silence,
you are haunted.
Apr 18, 2014
Apr 18, 2014 at 6:40 AM UTC
I feel like nothing constantly.
Like nobody gives a **** about me.
I have the lowest self-esteem ever.
But then again how could I not.
Everybody always leaves eventually.
And yes, I know they are not leaving me.
But thats always how it feels.
Everybody I ever start to really care about!
Dissapears...
My sister and I were always really close,
And I was just as close to her friends.
They were everything to me!
And then they all turned 18...
And moved away.
My brother has always been there.
ALWAYS!
He is one of my bestfriends.
And now he is leaving also.
I don't know how I am going to handle,
All of them...
Being gone now.
Because I still always had him.
I don't feel like I fit in with my friends.
Its been almost a year now,
And I still feel like an outsider.
I just feel like I am nothing.
And I don't fit in anywhere.
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 2:57 AM UTC
My eyes are dryin up again. You play with my hair and I'm in heaven. Little girls shouldn't be drinking but I want to feel alive. Anyway It's just for tonight.
The happiness runs in your bloodstream. Your hair in my hands, gives off a gleam. I wanted to help you feel alive your whole life, but it seems I've only been given a single night.
I'm hyped up to a song I don't know. My body's blue cause I'm getting cold. Getting high off your vibes. Maybe I'll give you two nights...
The ambience dissapears, I felt different. My mind and body became belligerent. I was lost in ecstasy from your touch. I was lost on what caused this rush.
Vision blurry and my words are slurry. I don't know if I should drive home. But my parents are waiting for their good girl. I think i need another happy pill. Or maybe just the touch of you. Hands on my thighs send shivers down my spine.
The good girl in your vanished that night. I'd dream of waking up to your smile at first light. My wandering hands could place on a million thighs. But it is yours that it lingers afraid to caress.
Muscles aching for your finger tips. Eyes closed I search for your lips. Legs and arms wrapped up in ecstasy. You and me are at the world's best feeding frenzy.
You're right. The good girl is gone.
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 13, 2016 at 3:59 AM UTC
The taxi is silent the driver's stopped trying
A crossing appears with no pedestrians crossing
Houses line the street with a warm yellow lighting
The night drizzle lightens, the pavements start frosting.
Shouldn't winter nights be spent comfortably
Rapped in familiarity?
Turn into the car park, the barrier is rising
Wretched is the destination, cold and disheartening
One day you'll return and your mindset will brighten
For now we will visit under the cold grey lighting.
Should I dare to peak inside?
The driver shrugs. I daren't decide.
The automatic doors squeak ominously open
No round of applause, no standing ovations
A pin could be heard, the canteen is broken
Seldom celebrated, there are few worse locations.
Should I lower my temperament
Become stoic and sensible?
The escalator moans while taking us further
The corridors smell stale, they echo a murmur
A slip-away comment in a labyrinth of tension
Hospital blue reflects in the eyes of the visitors.
Could I muster the strength to go inside?
I'm here, I've done it, all sadness must hide.
The nurse hands over the apron, i feel inhuman,
You lie propped on a cushion, restlessly muttering.
'It's a bad dream, it's okay' I'm nervously stuttering.
My stomach churns at the pain you're experiencing.
Should i dare to show my tears?
I needn't alarm onlookers and familiars.
Your bed-light flickers, the room dissapears
In the darkness we're calm, inhibitions are cleared
Such split-second clarity has calmed me for years.
I smile fearlessly pulling your hand gently nearer.
Should I dare to leave your side?
I'd blame myself, it would shatter my pride.
So here we sit for hours on end, semiconscious
Semi-talking, the volta on which all cruxces depend
Your dream-like graciousness cleanses and encompasses;
Myself and others, regale tales of your accomplishments.
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 9:06 AM UTC
Death is like
Origami paper
which spills from a old woman's face
INTENSELY
until all her
melatonin
skin
dissaPears
and all that is left
is an empty Volume of space
oncefullofthethingsthat
made her
UnIqUe
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 7:50 AM UTC
so i've always been afraid of the dark,
it's so powerful and
can leave a terrible mark,
on the human mind,
the dark always seems to find,
ways to ruin us mentally and emotionally,
it always seems to find,
ways to tear us apart from the inside out,
it even makes us doubt,
our existence.
the dark can tell us a simple evil sentence,
and the happiness once inside us,
dissapears,
but our negativity and fears seem to reappear.
and sometimes,
when i'm in the mist of the darkness;
i wonder how stars do it.
how do they outshine the darkness?
night after night,
day after day,
week after week,
year after year,
oh dear stars,
how do you do it?
how are you able to sit up there,
and shine as bright as you can
because you don't give a care?
like man,
the dark must hate you guys
for shining so bright in the night,
is that why it comes down to earth?
because there was nothing else to
ruin and hurt?
you know i admire you stars,
for finding a way to outshine the dark,
and heal your own scars.
maybe i can do the same,
maybe i can outshine the dark
just like you did,
and i'll get rid of this sadness and madness,
but until then,
kudos to you stars,
for finding a way to outshine the darkness,
kudos to you.
Apr 22, 2016
Apr 22, 2016 at 6:00 PM UTC
You are the breath of song
that laughs in my ear
That dissapears when I turn around
Evaporating around my fingers like smoke
falling to the ground like sand
and vanishing in the wind you came with
You are the echo of a heartbeat
that just before I fall asleep
resounds in my ears and in my soul
That turns into the gentle ticking of my clock
when I listen too hard to find you
You are the warm skin I feel on mine
when I first wake up
When arms can still exist around me
because my dreams haven't yet left
For they are chased away by mornings light
You are the smile in the mirror behind my reflection
The one I turn to face
to embrace
The one that is never there
You are the feel of a kiss
hot and real against my lips
The feel of goodmorning
and goodnight
and goodbye
You are the memory of a lover
You are the one I will never forget
You are the reason my eyes rain with the thunder
because you always danced outside in a storm
You are the gentle caress I feel on my face
when my tears are wiped away
and the wind whispers to me
"I will always love you"
In perfect imitation of your voice
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:40 PM UTC
Corsets and skirts and straw hats and
Dream girl
Take me aside with you in the cinema
Dream girl
Ruffles and maroon to your black hair and blue
Hands on front from behind like you want to
Dream girl, won't my parents see from ten yards away
The room is flooding, I'm almost drowning
Dream girl, I can't stay
But panic dies down in a moment, the theater dissapears
And then in that sea all I want is for you to hold me dear
Swimming and kissing and gasping
Dancing and laughing and caressing
Embracing and loving and floating
My eyes misting your raven hair shining
We finally get to disrobing
And then my alarm is ringing
And into my pillow I'm swearing
You know I'd rather be sleeping
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 9:16 AM UTC
Why don't you want her?
She's everything you ever wanted when you were sixteen;
her lips drawn, eyes heavy,
ready to fall into your arms
drunk, gasping for air
Kiss her, you idiot
She's so ill, so sick, so tired of boys like you
who sit and stare at her from across the room
She's not made of porcelain, though her skin may tell you otherwise
She's not made of glass
She's made of living, breathing, flesh and blood,
all soft skin and rough kisses
She wants to hear you say her name,
voice strained from the pressure of her body on yours
But you'll just sit there
Maybe buy her a drink
Maybe tell her coyly that she's 'one of the prettiest girls...'
Maybe walk her home
And watch as she dissapears through her front door,
black space forming a vignette
Why didn't you just kiss her?
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015 at 6:53 PM UTC
When I think of us,
I go numb.
Remember the love,
When I still felt some.
All I can think about is you.
Haven't heard from for a while.
Tried everything possible,
doesn't seem to be working.
And so I sit here, depressed.
I don't feel love.
I feel incredibly sad.
Heck, the word "sad" is too underrated for what I'm feeling.
Can't think of anything else.
All I can think about is you.
Worst case scenarios play around in my head, and I dare to shed a tear for what isn't the first time.
Hope is so little,
When it's hard
To get what's happening.
And i feel enclosed.
Just hidden.
Or maybe I've simply forgotten?
It does feel like half of me is gone,
Flown away with the wind.
Easily dissapears,
As if never there.
Yet all I can think about is you.
I want you. Back.
Or even just close by me, even better.
I love you. I haven't said that in a while. It's seriously driving me crazy. But I ain't gonna go up to some random guy and say it...
It's meant for you...
I think.
Jul 25, 2011
Jul 25, 2011 at 9:03 PM UTC
The world is spinning
Please explain me this feeling
I feel like my heart ain't beating
instead something heavy is camping on it
and there's nothing which I can do about it
Is this loneliness
I wonder
My beer dissapears
While I ponder
In my head
I know I got friends
But for some reason
I always feel alone
I feel like, I don't have anyone
Who understands and accepts me
For the strange creature I am
And always will be
Even at home
I feel alone
like I'm just sitting in my room
on my own.
And everytime I meet someone
Who seems to understand
Then he's always owned
By some other human.
Oh well
I 'll just stay here and dwell
On this feeling
Which makes me feel like hell.
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015 at 3:37 AM UTC
she is wearing some chemistry
an old dress for a bluestocking
she turns her face towards a green sea
new rhymes for blazing verbs lurk
in the definition of imprecision but
everything is falling into place
cell to cell conversations afloat
shards of mystery smooth
rounding out the caves of night
mirror wars meanders
mitochondrial Eve confused
into this new creature
saturated with radiance
questions not asked
but answeared
how you love her
do your hands chase
her tango shoulders
is there music inside
the shade of water
waste inside nails
naivete in knees imprisoned
vibration self-asserting
a devious sweeping world
of unthinkable gestures
your hands a seismograph
for the cataclism of shiver
no need to search for
her selfless sense
as you ravening negotiate
the fossilized song of you
the depth of this tympanum
this membrane
time itself this creature
zoon erotikon
levellling up resurecting
ravaging enchanting
all the rites of passage
for the overwhelm of flavor
she breathes in prehistoric gills
nirvana dance inside DNA
you redefine your sharpness,
delicacy tears & tearing
she dissapears in a snare drum
sanity evaporates as mist
over arched forests
in the pulse of no air
in between skin and akin
in the bewilderment of bodies
searching for their lyric
manna for beautiful beasts
over the sargasso sea
she wails genuine
metanoia, love's dianoia
no disambiguation
Feb 13, 2023
Feb 13, 2023 at 6:06 PM UTC
as she walked slowly
down the middle of the night road
she tears off pieces of herself
and scatters them face-up on the cool pavement
they stare up at the spinning stars grinning
she mutters the song with
a small rough broken english voice
guttural it echoes softly
off the closed storefronts
and sounds like Christmas if ya think about it
her reflection swings slow through the motions
each pane of glass tinted with
the tidal forces of tears and rumors
each day has seen it much discussed
tread like jackboot in the fragile hall
like a bird in flight
you can see in slow motion the beauty
of its flight
you can sense the brilliance of its craftsmanship
somewhere its creator is laughing himself sick
she reaches an impasse
and turns casting pieces like hemlock prizes
into eating the parts of the night
she can no longer stand
so the silence dissapears
and the warm space between dark and light
becomes cold once again
versions of herself
scatter to shopping mall parking lots
all over the world
and all the carts are taken down
like disassembled dreams
like laughter halved
like a smile too close to tears
brave knights fallen
Oct 11, 2013
Oct 11, 2013 at 1:00 PM UTC
you make me feel feelings, i have never felt.
just a smile from you and i completely melt.
i could stare at you for days, i could hold
you for years, when i'm lost in your gaze,
this whole world just dissapears.
you hold my heart in your hands,
i hope you understand,
i'll always stand by you
and do for you whatever i can.
my love for you runs deeply
deeper than the deepest sea,
i could never put into words,
just what it is that you do to me.
happy three year aniversary.
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 16, 2015 at 4:43 AM UTC
do it like a lepar king
attatch yourself to the soul
with armies of giants
to place your skin back
when your skin cannot hold
and the day
cannot hold
attatch yourself to the sun
like a body
that cannot learn
and cannot be taught
to stop beating heat
do so in the gropes of the machine
like an organic song
and curve bayonetting
the hive line
in the times of dance
that come like countless
bodies of sigh
to rebel against the well of turmolt
in the evenings veins
kiss the unamed call
of the earth
touch those eyes
like they are the last of all things
do it like you smoke too much
do it like the city
has two pairs of lungs
one pair pays the night birds
rent
when they come
the others
are pecking around as i finish a cigarette
before work
the kind that light the building up
as i enter
but the work
is a bird
the work
dissapears
she dismembers
herself
like the laughter
she teaches
me
and says 'come straight back
after you're
done
don't slacken now
there's dance to be done
there's always our dance
to be done;
and then i stop the count
and let just two animals
do it
they know more of time
and look more
like us.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014 at 1:53 AM UTC
Eyes on top of eyes
reflect on each other
still
light catches
then dissapears
quick breathes
sync in rhythm
hold onto the light of day
like a lonely stranger
occupying ones bed.
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
When the world sleeps.
And your hair like water drizzles down my rocky callus hands.
I'll feel your love asleep with me.
When the pressure dissapears.
And I can glide my hand across your Everglades cheek.
My serenity will be put to rest.
And my assurances will know no fear.
And when I can lay my head on your lap.
Attracting magnets jealous of our attraction.
I'll shut my eyes with yours.
Because the time the world tells is determined by us.
And I'll never stop loving you until the world stops turning.
So let the moments like these stand still and mean everything.
So long as I lose myself with you.
May 25, 2017
May 25, 2017 at 1:02 AM UTC