The sea fades into a well blended orange sun. the deepest blue stretching its fingers grabbing the horizon line. ripples in the waves of color they crash into stars. the explosion peaks behind the darkest of clouds. the sea is drowning the colors of love and turning them muddy. the ocean is wrapped in brilliance laughing at the unattentive ones. the sun dissapears. its warmth gone Texas is now the spring of bluebonnets and sweet air. the handprint of faith stretches across the sky i believe to be my open sea.

Taken, screaming, kicking, his
nana's image slowly
dissapears
Being held tightly in tears,
nana is no longer there
No longer in nana's arms

He looks down at
dismal bottom steps
now empty
He smells the old wood
these steps of hell leading nowhere

Alien sounds from alien shoes,
he listens in fear and dread
Being lifted to an alien room;
taken against his six year old will

He remembers not what will come
remembering his nana's tears
at the bottom steps,
at the bottom steps of a foster home

And aghast, he was me...

letchor blood currdle like wild flowers melting in the mid day sun, let your fire dragon breath beneath the mess of leaves falling from a calm breeze.
Bring peace to a world where silence is comfort and passion is the tulip under the shade. Let the water trickle across your from and watch the skies turn from blue to grey.
The world is a heartache but a heart none the less, you needent suffer because suffering come from ones whose enlightenment leaves no mess.
Be a star in a sea of diamonds. croon for the howling of a dewwy morning.
Believe in a seed that can plant a whole world, never let the thoughts alter your disposition. Your true calling already exibits strength, quite lying to yourself, sleepless this and sinner with saints.
An enegmatic dissolusion of propriety and oath, formless and scouring we delve deeper into our shelf.
Cables and wires sing with praises of stables and liars, klu klux ****, peanut butter and jam, what a contravity of mystery and a hairless dogs epiphany. We told you once and we'll tell you again, your night stand secrets bar no weight in this land.

soldiers ships sail without a captian your ballroom gown looks like a tale unfathomed. please exsist in me as i believe in you. let your gaurd down and let me take the bow. please let my love pass through you like grasses ablaze, set my lingering sentient body free i have no more purple haze.

the morning will come and the night will shrink an exhaled body as yours dissapears in a blink. Together and forever a seemless reality, one blood runs through the oceans and cowers down the river stop breathe, you exist in moments like these

everybody sees you but no body nods, your a stupid little quip on someone elses radar. help yourself before you **** another be your best friend your mother your father your brother. let the ragsw turn to riches and the wine into the blind, let yourself ferment and **** the cat that explains your time. keep to yoursel fan dnever let them in, your a blind man with a stick and everyone else is screaming let me in. to each there own and to own a martyr is a shame, refrain from self obscurity and procrastinate your brain. Reach for the truth kept in a jar glass with the words mason like the illuminati keep in there car. your a vehicles for self enhilation a explosion of confusion, embrace this mess, it all you have to keep. like a safe bares a rope your only job is to escape..

brimming with hatred and filled up with angst your an emotional writer trying to die on the page.
**** yourself kindly and **** yourself well, your death will be celebrated like a child blowing out the candels at his birthday from hell. tears hit the icing and the presents all rott, something was a miss did his mother forget to love him not. the poor childs life went up in ruins the cycles of existance dug him into ruins bleeding and rotting a child life ion time be the future self that your chilhood friend can find. Be with your death like your beside your life. in the middle lies the truth betweent he lies of existing between pictures of books that no one took the time to read. death of a salesman the drowning of a rat, **** yourself with kindness eat your cake until your fat.

whats the problem with that? *******. you ****, you did it you ****! lol. :) ;) emote.

dying by numbers

illusions of granduer
life in a breath
**** the pitch man and take your breath

dont edit yourself absolve yourself

write for a feeling it is fleeting write for death and become alive

"Thank you for saying Happy Birthday to Shimone"
my mother said and I kind of said oh, no problem
and we went on from there to argue since that is what
we do and she will never know who I am
and I assume she meant Happy Birthday on Facebook because I
certainly don't keep track of her friend's birthdays,
especially not her friends who live in Haifa and remind
me of my X

Upset, I ran off to the pool, hoping for endorphins
after some laps  I rested at one end
and realized in a kind of slow, creeping way,
kind of like fog rolling in over the cliffs at Muir beach,
Not menacing, even beautiful, but a little cold, that
I never wrote anything to Shimone, not even on Facebook
No, I've been too self absorbed to write to my parents Israeli friends who used to
have me and my X over for Shabbat meals where I used to insist
on walking up the stairs since the elevator was small and hot and scared me
but he always wanted to ride in it
and one day we went over there was a sign on the apartments next door
that a woman had died in a terrorist attack the other day--
When a suicide bomber, afraid of the security guards at the nearby
mall, ran into an Arab restaurant conveniently located at a gas station
where all the best restaurants are,
and blew himself and everyone inside up
CNN international came for a day to report and then left the next
like a rude house guest who comes for your best food
and then dissapears, never to be heard from again

With my X, my mother always got cards she loved because he
knew just how to pick them and he'd send them without even telling me
sometimes faking my signature or
I just had to sign and he'd do the rest, in between crank calls to them at all hours,
taking advantage of the time zone.  At once tormenting and caring for them
as he did for me

And now is he a ghost in my account?  
A ghost, a fog, a memory, something ephemeral, not real

looking  the speed
searching the inner peace
like flying on a bike, or
getting a *******, by it.

running on the night,
120 to feel alive, my life,
in a way , becomes, the
eternal night ride,

thanks god
for the freeway, and
the eternal look for inner peace,
the zen state,  i'm getting
trow speed

like flying, or surfing
on  the street, every thing
is clear at 120k, like tantric ***,
or those eyes of the past,

  one of two, cool memories
in a past full of pain.

after all the pain,
becomes the good memoir,
in a night of speed, appears,
those strawberry memoirs

in the night ride appears,
sudden and clear,
the state of speed,
looking for the inner peace,
or the state of zen release,

looking,
the one good memoir,
and flying on my bike.
surfing the asphalt,
wishing she could go faster

wishing for the peace,
and wanting the creep to dissapears,
looking for the peace , and hear him
inside of me, a creepy voice,

trying to justify his lies,
asking me to be, after all the harm,
still ask for a hand out,

after all the damage,
dares to ask for something.
during the night, y forget the betrayal,
and become a free man,  and the
burning area feels the wind

looking in the night,
the eyes of the past, or the kimera
that will never appears,
even the one that loves me,
back stab me, love hurts right.

looking the peace, or getting
a kick, on the speed,
looking the  zen state,

getting a *******,with speed.
hearing the claims of me heart to be free,
and getting a *******, in the
process,


all is clear, at full speed.
tight, and clean, no creeps,
just the kick, i'm getting
trow that lovely speed,
like flying on a machine.

looking and wanting
waiting on the coward chick,
that loves and hurts me,
like a kid, on first grade,
hurting what she ******* loves

like a coward, or a slave,
on this creeps trade.
slaves are not ****, or cool,
even with a lion on her back,
afraid, of the hyenas, or this creep

**** and lovely coward,
let go, or say it to my face
time's running out, and i'm
not waiting anymore,

life's
like the night ride,
and i'm going at full speed,
always on the fone, green dress
and **** skin , your heart
belongs to the lion , hows going to eat it,

and grabbing your hair,
screaming my name,
as you take me in,
like in the freeway,
**** and lovely coward
if you love me, set me free,

**** gambas, set me free
i'm on the freeway, need
to touch somebody, and you
need me like the sun, and after all
will you dare to say it to my face.

i'm looking for the rush of love,
and become a *** addict,
of some girls skin, and i'll find
the skin to become addicted.

and looking for the zen state
and the skin of a girl to be a free,
**** and firm, shes going to be,
a free girl, addicted to my,
looking for the lovely lioness

waiting to the one, how well say it
to me face, forgetting the creeps wimps,
and their pathetic harassment,
and take
my hand, and get on
top of me.


a **** lionnes that looks,
the creeps to their faces,
and jump on top of me, looking at them
and be free, next to me.

looking for the brave lionnes,
that will loves me , and deal with it.
and be free right next to me.
on a state, of zen speed...

in sleep i speak
language forgotten,
to the one who'll never hear,
to man once important
to the man i held so dear.

in sleep i remember
my people,
and the land from where
i come,
all the things i left unsaid,
the things i
could have done.

But i forget all when awake
it dissapears behind my eye,
all except a word Manah,
a word wich means "life".

Do you know that feeling...when you fall in love?
When you start falling and you know you'll never get up.
When you give your happiness to someone,because you care for him more than you care for yourself.
Because you love him,more than you love yourself.
Do you know that feeling...when you fall in love?
When the touch of someones hands takes you to another dimension.
When you see another world in someones eyes,a world you always dreamed of.
Do you know that person...that makes you fall in love?
The same person who erases all your fears,making you feel safer than ever.
The same person who is the reason you cope with everything.
The reason to get up,live,and fight.
Do you know that feeling...when your heart breaks?
When that same person becomes stranger.
When the love dissapears like it never excisted.
When you become one big nothing to him.
But he is one everything to you.
He is and he will always be.

crow and crow

What is so fun about crowing?
Every morning the moon dissapears
Her trial still fresh
encircling the sky.
Not even sun can evaporate.
And with every new hour
I play a game-
Finder's Keeper.
Fun it seems.
One time I found a ring of fire.
A diamond engraved to its depth.
I kept it-
I tried to keep it.
I was left among ashes.
Treasure hunt, fun it seems.
But what is fun about crowing?
Every sound is fun,
when in silence,
you are haunted.

I feel like nothing constantly.
Like nobody gives a **** about me.
I have the lowest self-esteem ever.
But then again how could I not.
Everybody always leaves eventually.
And yes, I know they are not leaving me.
But thats always how it feels.
Everybody I ever start to really care about!
Dissapears...
My sister and I were always really close,
And I was just as close to her friends.
They were everything to me!
And then they all turned 18...
And moved away.
My brother has always been there.
ALWAYS!
He is one of my bestfriends.
And now he is leaving also.
I don't know how I am going to handle,
All of them...
Being gone now.
Because I still always had him.
I don't feel like I fit in with my friends.
Its been almost a year now,
And I still feel like an outsider.
I just feel like I am nothing.
And I don't fit in anywhere.

wake up, brainwaves still pulsating
between dream world and wakefulness
eyes closed, press play,
instantly spiralling through emptiness

where is there room,
in the midst,
to see this separate me,
listen-ing, to this song

when I am so immersed,
this separate listener
and the process of listening,
dissapears.

I am, the music.  
And like music,
this "I" cannot be touched, or seen,
but only felt
arising and flowing
in emptiness, here.

My eyes are dryin up again. You play with my hair and I'm in heaven. Little girls shouldn't be drinking but I want to feel alive. Anyway It's just for tonight.

The happiness runs in your bloodstream. Your hair in my hands, gives off a gleam. I wanted to help you feel alive your whole life, but it seems I've only been given a single night.

I'm hyped up to a song I don't know. My body's blue cause I'm getting cold. Getting high off your vibes. Maybe I'll give you two nights...

The ambience dissapears, I felt different. My mind and body became belligerent. I was lost in ecstasy from your touch. I was lost on what caused this rush.

Vision blurry and my words are slurry. I don't know if I should drive home. But my parents are waiting for their good girl. I think i need another happy pill. Or maybe just the touch of you. Hands on my thighs send shivers down my spine.

The good girl in your vanished that night. I'd dream of waking up to your smile at first light. My wandering hands could place on a million thighs. But it is yours that it lingers afraid to caress.

Muscles aching for your finger tips. Eyes closed I search for your lips. Legs and arms wrapped up in ecstasy. You and me are at the world's best feeding frenzy.
You're right. The good girl is gone.

The taxi is silent the driver's stopped trying
A crossing appears with no pedestrians crossing
Houses line the street with a warm yellow lighting
The night drizzle lightens, the pavements start frosting.

Shouldn't winter nights be spent comfortably
Rapped in familiarity?

Turn into the car park, the barrier is rising
Wretched is the destination, cold and disheartening
One day you'll return and your mindset will brighten
For now we will visit under the cold grey lighting.

Should I dare to peak inside?
The driver shrugs. I daren't decide.

The automatic doors squeak ominously open
No round of applause, no standing ovations
A pin could be heard, the canteen is broken
Seldom celebrated, there are few worse locations.

Should I lower my temperament
Become stoic and sensible?

The escalator moans while taking us further
The corridors smell stale, they echo a murmur
A slip-away comment in a labyrinth of tension
Hospital blue reflects in the eyes of the visitors.

Could I muster the strength to go inside?
I'm here, I've done it, all sadness must hide.

The nurse hands over the apron, i feel inhuman,
You lie propped on a cushion, restlessly muttering.
'It's a bad dream, it's okay' I'm nervously stuttering.
My stomach churns at the pain you're experiencing.

Should i dare to show my tears?
I needn't alarm onlookers and familiars.

Your bed-light flickers, the room dissapears
In the darkness we're calm, inhibitions are cleared
Such split-second clarity has calmed me for years.
I smile fearlessly pulling your hand gently nearer.

Should I dare to leave your side?
I'd blame myself, it would shatter my pride.

So here we sit for hours on end, semiconscious
Semi-talking, the volta on which all cruxces depend
Your dream-like graciousness cleanses and encompasses;
Myself and others, regale tales of your accomplishments.

Corsets and skirts and straw hats and
Dream girl
Take me aside with you in the cinema
Dream girl
Ruffles and maroon to your black hair and blue
Hands on front from behind like you want to
Dream girl, won't my parents see from ten yards away
The room is flooding, I'm almost drowning
Dream girl, I can't stay
But panic dies down in a moment, the theater dissapears
And then in that sea all I want is for you to hold me dear
Swimming and kissing and gasping
Dancing and laughing and caressing
Embracing and loving and floating
My eyes misting your raven hair shining
We finally get to disrobing
And then my alarm is ringing
And into my pillow I'm swearing
You know I'd rather be sleeping

The world is spinning
Please explain me this feeling
I feel like my heart ain't beating
instead something heavy is camping on it
and there's nothing which I can do about it

Is  this loneliness
I wonder
My beer dissapears
While I ponder

In my head
I know I got friends
But for some reason
I always feel alone

I feel like, I don't have anyone
Who understands and accepts me
For the strange creature I am
And always will be

Even at home
I feel alone
like I'm just sitting in my room
on my own.

And everytime I meet someone
Who seems to understand
Then he's always owned
By some other human.

Oh well
I 'll just stay here and dwell
On this feeling
Which makes me feel like hell.

Why don't you want her?
She's everything you ever wanted when you were sixteen;
her lips drawn, eyes heavy,
ready to fall into your arms
drunk, gasping for air

Kiss her, you idiot

She's so ill, so sick, so tired of boys like you
who sit and stare at her from across the room
She's not made of porcelain, though her skin may tell you otherwise
She's not made of glass
She's made of living, breathing, flesh and blood,
all soft skin and rough kisses

She wants to hear you say her name,
voice strained from the pressure of her body on yours
But you'll just sit there
Maybe buy her a drink
Maybe tell her coyly that she's 'one of the prettiest girls...'
Maybe walk her home
And watch as she dissapears through her front door,
black space forming a vignette

Why didn't you just kiss her?

When I think of us, 
I go numb. 
Remember the love, 
When I still felt some. 

All I can think about is you. 

Haven't heard from for a while. 
Tried everything possible, 
doesn't seem to be working.

And so I sit here, depressed. 

I don't feel love.

I feel incredibly sad.

Heck, the word "sad" is too underrated for what I'm feeling.
Can't think of anything else. 

All I can think about is you. 

Worst case scenarios play around in my head, and I dare to shed a tear for what isn't the first time. 

Hope is so little, 
When it's hard 
To get what's happening.

And i feel enclosed. 
Just hidden. 
Or maybe I've simply forgotten? 

It does feel like half of me is gone, 
Flown away with the wind. 
Easily dissapears,
As if never there. 

Yet all I can think about is you. 
I want you. Back.
Or even just close by me, even better.

I love you. I haven't said that in a while. It's seriously driving me crazy. But I ain't gonna go up to some random guy and say it... 

It's meant for you... 



I think.

You are the breath of song
that laughs in my ear
That dissapears when I turn around
Evaporating around my fingers like smoke
falling to the ground like sand
and vanishing in the wind you came with

You are the echo of a heartbeat
that just before I fall asleep
resounds in my ears and in my soul
That turns into the gentle ticking of my clock
when I listen too hard to find you

You are the warm skin I feel on mine
when I first wake up
When arms can still exist around me
because my dreams haven't yet left
For they are chased away by mornings light

You are the smile in the mirror behind my reflection
The one I turn to face
to embrace
The one that is never there

You are the feel of a kiss
hot and real against my lips
The feel of goodmorning
and goodnight
and goodbye

You are the memory of a lover
You are the one I will never forget

You are the reason my eyes rain with the thunder
because you always danced outside in a storm

You are the gentle caress I feel on my face
when my tears are wiped away
and the wind whispers to me
"I will always love you"
In perfect imitation of your voice

she is wearing some chemistry
an old dress for a bluestocking
she turns her face towards a green sea
new rhymes for blazing verbs lurk
in the definition of imprecision but
everything is falling into place
cell to cell conversations afloat
shards of mystery smooth
rounding out the caves of night
mirror wars meanders
mitochondrial Eve confused
into this new creature
saturated with radiance

questions not asked
but answeared
how you love her
do your hands chase
her tango shoulders
is there music inside
the shade of water
waste inside nails
naivete in knees imprisoned
vibration self-asserting

a devious sweeping world
of unthinkable gestures
your hands a seismograph  
for the cataclism of shiver
no need to search for
her selfless sense
as you ravening negotiate
the fossilized song of you
the depth of this tympanum
this membrane
time itself this creature
zoon erotikon
levellling up resurecting
ravaging enchanting

all the rites of passage
for the overwhelm of flavor
she breathes in prehistoric gills
nirvana dance inside DNA
you redefine your sharpness,
delicacy tears & tearing
she dissapears in a snare drum
sanity evaporates as mist
over arched forests
in the pulse of no air
in between skin and akin
in the bewilderment of bodies
searching for their lyric
manna for beautiful beasts
over the sargasso sea

she wails genuine
metanoia, love's dianoia
no disambiguation

you make me feel feelings, i have never felt.
just a smile from you and i completely melt.
i could stare at you for days, i could hold
you for years, when i'm lost in your gaze,
this whole world just dissapears.

you hold my heart in your hands,
i hope you understand,
i'll always stand by you
and do for you whatever i can.

my love for you runs deeply
deeper than the deepest sea,
i could never put into words,
just what it is that you do to me.
happy three year aniversary.

You were the target I hit with
              the dart,
I didn't like you, I never did,

       I loved you from the start,

The first time it was so hard to move on,
clenching my fists,
I wanted you back,
with me, not without me,
but together we were completely f
                                                               ­       a
                                                        ­                 l
                                                              ­            l
                                                               ­             i
                                                  ­                           n
                                                               ­                g
                                                                                     incomplete
over the years the pieces began to not fit,
I pushed them together,
bit by bit,
but you didn't try hard ENOUGH for us,
because deep down you wanted us to be through,
to take time for yourself, to find out who you really were,
but we couldn't end it as just friends,
and when you found what you were looking for,
I took you back, again and again,
But no matter how hard we try, we keep losing us,
and once again
                   We've fallen
                                       down
                                                   We've sunken
                                                      so low,
we can't get back up,
beacuse a piece of ourselves is missing when we aren't together,
so we grab on to one  another,
                 for strength,
pulling ourselves up,
you make me happy again, but it's a messy cycle,
relationships without a friendship first,
is a sinking ship which is the worst,
it doesn't work because the trust isn't there, why can't you show me in the way that i'd like, that you really do care?
It's a game we play, from you to me,
staring into your eyes,
my anger dissapears as you begin
                                           to smile,
one false aquistion, and lack of communication,
we're off the page again, not knowing what each other said,
pushing me backwards, I fall off the cliff,
you finally shut the door and our lives together is no more,
you,
are all I see,
memories of us,
flashing before me,
I see the bottom coming near,
you wouldn't believe how much love was hidden by fear,
It's clear to me now,
you're my one and only,
IF ONLY,
we could have each other back,
communication is the key to unlock the door,
give it a chance and you will see,
it takes both of us, selfless, to be,
I guess it's too late,
my lack of trust, doubts, and fears,
and your lack of showing you care
this seems like a mistake, but you can't ruin fate,
we can't be together forever
                                                   and
                                                        ever,­
my life is coming to an end,
I hit the ground and scream,
waking up, I realize, it was just a dream,
          I grab on to you,
to never let go, admit my mistakes, and prove I have room to grow,
I don't want it to end, I'm done playing pretend,
I'm sorry,
it's what I've been needing to say,
today is a new day,
I don't want anyone else,
you do complete me in so many ways,
yes we have different interests with different lives,
different hopes and different dreams,
but what it's really about is being on the same team,
To be in life together, to support one another,
knowing what each others likes are,
the kinds of thoughts and gestures that go so far,
doing things because it would mean the world to you,
is what we should both strive to do.

I don't know where we go from here,
too many ups and downs to remember what's real,
But I do remember I was once completely in love, I want to be that girl again,
swept off her feet, with a simple hello,
let's create new thoughts,
opened book, page so blank and bare,
I know you really do care,
but i can't do it on my own,
we both need to GIVE to have a relationship again,
even if it is just a friendship with nothing more, without you in my life my heart stays sore, I want to be there for you through the ups and the downs, even as just friends I'll support you through the smile and frowns,
because i know what we had was special and it will always be,
the thought in my mind of one day you and me,
if it doesn't work out I will understand, but at least you'll be there as a friend to hold my hand,
I've loved you from the start,
it's your turn to choose,
look in your hand,
you have the dart.

Eyes on top of eyes
reflect on each other
still
light catches
then dissapears
quick breathes
sync in rhythm
hold onto the light of day
like a lonely stranger
occupying ones bed.

When the world sleeps.
And your hair like water drizzles down my rocky callus hands.
I'll feel your love asleep with me.

When the pressure dissapears.
And I can glide my hand across your Everglades cheek.
My serenity will be put to rest.
And my assurances will know no fear.

And when I can lay my head on your lap.
Attracting magnets jealous of our attraction.
I'll shut my eyes with yours.

Because the time the world tells is determined by us.
And I'll never stop loving you until the world stops turning.
So let the moments like these stand still and mean everything.
So long as I lose myself with you.

do it like a lepar king
attatch yourself to the soul
with armies of giants
to place your skin back
when your skin cannot hold
and the day
cannot hold
attatch yourself to the sun
like a body
that cannot learn
and cannot be taught
to stop beating heat
do so in the gropes of the machine
like an organic song
and curve bayonetting
the hive line
in the times of dance
that come like countless
bodies of sigh
to rebel against the well of turmolt
in the evenings veins
kiss the unamed call
of the earth
touch those eyes
like they are the last of all things
do it like you smoke too much
do it like the city
has two pairs of lungs
one pair pays the night birds
rent
when they come
the others
are pecking around as i finish a cigarette
before work
the kind that light the building up
as i enter
but the work
is a bird
the work
dissapears
she dismembers
herself
like the laughter
she teaches
me
and says 'come straight back
after you're
done
don't slacken now
there's dance to be done
there's always our dance
to be done;
and then i stop the count
and let just two animals
do it
they know more of time
and look more
like us.

I went all day
without anyone staring
through the invisible
mask I was wearing

but now was my chance
with the mirror in sight
to finally show
the emotions I hide

as my smile dissapears
the truth is revealed
some sadness some hurt
and the pain that I feel

I'll replace the mask
when the mirror leaves my hand
cause even if they knew the truth
they wouldn't understand

When I was young, I used to watch across the wall As men walked up and down the street Wino men old men Young men sharp as cheddar. See them Men are always going somewhere. They knew I was there eighteen and nineteen years old and thirsty for them. Under my pupil, they would pause. Their shoulders high like thr height of a mountain top, Blazer tails slapping over Those behinds, Men.

One day they hold you in the snug of your arms gentle as if you were the last crisp dollar in the world. Then they tighten up just a little The first squeeze is nice A quick hug Soft hug soft into your defenselessness. A little more, the hurt begins, Wrench out a smile that slides around a fear. When the air dissapears Your mind pops explodibg fiercely Like the sound of a gun shot. Shattered it is your juice that runs down their legs. Staining their shoes when the earth rights itself again, And taste tries to return to the tongue Your body has slammed shut Forever no keys exist.

Then my pupils draws upon their style. There just beyond the sway of curtains, men walk. Knowing something going someplace But this time I will simply stand and watch.

The earth just disolved into black matter
The dark dissapears,
The blackness turns and shatters,

So insignifigant that this life is rather
Smaller then the things..
We think that would matter..

Life is short..
The universe is small,

An when compared,
Its like were nothing at all..

We have eternal life, that we all will live,
As life flashes before your eyes,
Youll rethink what you did..

As you speak through your mind,
Its louder then spoken words,
Like its amplifyde,
Hearing the thoughts of your own..


Reality is, its not perfect here on earth,
The fact of the matter is:
Theres no perfection anywhere..

An the Realization for..
The simplicity of human beings is:
We discriminate an put labels on
What were suppose to be, an..

Keep in mind you shouldent
listen to everything an be discouraged,
Because all the world wants to do
Is bring you down, an see you fail..

But you need to have courage,
an no that you can do this,
Because your way better then that,
I mean every word an

Theres way more to this life,
Here on this planet then
For you to just give up an fail..
So dont make this your end,

Your options are endless,
Theres more then the sky for limits,

The worlds your stadge,
Go preform an play,
Cut the strings,
Dont be controlled,
Your not a slave..

You were born for a reason,
So go an play your part..

Because your lifes more then..
Extravigent..
Not even ordinary..
But more fabulous
an unique all in one..

You make your choices,
You have the say,
So live life to the fullest,
Because lifes what you make it..
So make your life Great..

Sky the palace of a beautiful girl
The Girl who comes out give light
The girl who is cursed
The girl who dissapears once a month
And sometimes she even hides away from us
But the girl which is admired by many children,mothers
But every love can show it every day

I've fallen into the abyss
Now darkness surrounds my soul
I'm lost alone and unwanted
A victim of my heart
I feel so cold
Am I dead?
Or am I dreaming?
I wish i could wake up
So i could leave this place
But what if I do wake up
And this place is reality
An Icey finger touches me
I freeze like a statue made of stone
Now death passes by me & smiles
He stares straight through me
And then dissapears into the shadows
I see a light up ahead
And move slowly towards it
A candle burns bright
My Love for you?
Cold air surrounds my body
Devils dance on the wall
Then the candle goes out
And the devils die
I watch the thin column of smoke
float away
Us drifting apart?
Has my love for you burnt out?
Or is it just a dream?
Now the darkness surrounds my soul
I'm lost, alone and unwanted
A victim of my heart

week 1 constant intense ***
week 2 slightly dimished
week three effort dissapears
conversation changes
everyone else is of higher importance
because u have alreay overcame the challenges and claimed what you fought for
texts dissapear
*** dissapears
except for in the movie in their eyes everytime another challenge walks by
and u are alone now together
dreaming of sleeping with other people
for the rest of your life

Eradication within a hollow abyss of such instinct... callibrating an insourmantable animallistic realization of a deeper defiled reconciled underlined evil lurking within...dominance of my debilitating disease...temptation to succumb to this numbing feeling...As if it all dissapears while I indulge into feeding my own agonizing addiction....something I keep feeding...tired of always fleeing not facing Life secluded within a snared trap of a battle am exausted from alliviating my feelings. I want to recuperate my sobreity, yet keep getting intoxicated to deal with inner dealings. Envelopped in tranquilizing my own self with destructive substances to hide this pain am living...slowly killing myself just to think am living.

As I contemplate at deconstructing my past...where did I go wrong Lord...is my Life even worth living?
The experiences I attain am NOT finding enjoyment at completing...
How the **** do I recover from this deep sadness am feeling?
Despair await me as my thoughts form this sentences am speaking
I ask myself the harshes questions...Is my Life to someone out there hold meaning?
Lord free me from this inprisonement am feeling...
Undersiedged and captivated am losing focus on how I ought to be living...
withstanding the problems I face with ******* toxins I keep utilizing when I desire to be quitting.
Rehab many say is the answer they keep pleading...yet cannot fully shut the door where old habits keep creeping...
Alone, conflicted and restless...am left when am dope feeding...
Is me, myself and I...who I ought to be healing...
In time...this will also dissapear
I just ask of thee Lord, let me make it out alive
Out crawl from this ticking time death-bomb I keep re-living.