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Christian Ek Jun 2014
Disappointment is thrown strongly at my direction.
Blame gathers in large quantities like a pest infestation.
"It's your fault" and words like "You always make mistakes" evoke anger.
Anger which I want to take out on myself and take out on others.
I can excel in my work of choice, I know I'm more than average.
The bad gets pointed out more and little praise is given for the good.
Stunned by unmoving words. I'm like a prisoner sentenced to jail, released and expected to do worse.
Destruction emerges from my enraged emotions, i wish your words could offer a solution.
I want to be an alchemist and turn things into gold.
It's ironic how I am a creator of words but cant create better words in my critics.
Conversations lead to arguments because i want to be heard.
I'm sick of revolving doors, sick of being slammed by your atrocious comments.
"You have no common sense" you say to me, maybe I just prefer to be in a daydream, my mind drifting away because life is too dull.
Realize that what you say has an effect and that effect can drive somebody or stop them in motion.
Powdered skin,
Brush strokes,
Go coat
those desperate pokes
The shakey nature
Of made up favors
So playful
And able
We are
To Make the devil
Weak in the knees
As he does me,
So what if you suffer
You are but a drop
In an endless sea
No one will notice
When you drop
And you bleed
Just a mixture of rage and pain in threw up when I felt too much and thought my chest was gonna implode.
an0nym0us Feb 2018
An angel, fair and pure
Who's heart is fragile and unsecured
Stolen and hurt with no cure
Wounded with hidden clue.

Great pain and sorrow
But tears doesn't follow
Nothing is inside her, a hollow
Now her past follows.

All because of a man
Who she loved and obeyed every command
Gifted him happiness that lasts
Left her with her heart in his hand.

How rude, how unfair
But I give you a dare
Give her eyes a good stare
Then tell me if you ever care...

You can say "how ungrateful he can be?!"
But I tell you, how blind can you be??
If you can't see,
Till this time you read me.
Bella Mar 27
I know that I'm a disappointment.

I've only been told that half a million times.

It's a running joke within the family now.

I know that I get angry at you.

I know I fight with you.

I know I make things hard.

And as much as you don't think so,

I'm trying really hard.

I'm trying to be better.

I'm trying to better myself.

Get my grades up.

And fix myself for you.

But to you,

I'll always be a dissapointment.
PenNameBree-Z Feb 17
You aren't the first to tell me that...
So I'm trying to forgive and forget.
But it's hard.
It's hard when someone you love
Tells you that your feelings aren't reasonable.
Like I don't already know that...
Feelings aren't always about logic and fact.
Sometimes people just feel things.
Sometimes for stupid reasons.
You don't have to understand why.
I just thought you cared enough
To want to make me feel better.
Instead you let me return to my head
And torture myself for hours.
You left me there when I just needed
To be held for a moment.
I just needed to hear
That everything was okay.
I just needed to know
That you still loved me,
And that you didn't want me to be uncomfortable.
I know all that should be a given.
Sometimes a gentle reminder just helps...
And keeps me out of the dark.
I'm trying my best to not be
The anxious, self conscious mess
That I always am.
I want to turn it off...
But I don't always win that fight,
And I'm really sorry...
And I already hate myself enough
Every time I do fail.
I'm trying.
Please don't give up on me too...
Eno Feb 24
When there is no solid ground
Just combination
When love is abound
Always conditional
When emotion is potent
Beyond reach
When sleep beckons
Nightmare days
When life carries on
Just suffocate -
-
-
When the next day
Never arrives
When pain and fear and shame and distrust and betrayal and dissapointment and disgust for yourself sit like a ball of cat hair stirring in your abdomen.
You’re lying here
And wish you could be anywhere else
Alone
And
Content
Away from destructive characters
Torn right out of a novel where
The genre is
A Psychological thriller
Rhiannon Nov 2017
The feeling of your dissapointment was palpable,
I could taste it on my tongue like I hadn't brushed my teeth in days,
And feel it thick in the atmosphere,
Like heavy smoke from a forest fire.

The grey bags under my eyes did nothing but exclaim my insomnia,
When you told me that maybe I just wasn't going to bed at the right time.
And frustration swam round my bloodstream as I just couldn't get the right pitch to that song I alsways used to sing.

The melancholy rumble from my gut,
Reminded me that I was alone unless I had a full stomach,
My figure didn't matter,
Cause neither I, Let alone anyone else sexualised it.

(No one of my own age that is)

Sleep deprivation rushes round me like gale force winds from a tropic storm,
Lack of money burns holes in my pockets,
and wanderlust nags at my brain like overdue assignments from a College wreck,
Whilst everyones moaning infects me like a plague,
when I find stress spots crawling up my neck.

I am generation Z,
Generation nothing,
Generation give up,
Generation what the ****?
Generation, "Who the hell told you I could live like this?"

But I am privileged,
In a house,
But I am not me.

I am grieving.

I am grieving myself again.
NAME Feb 16
It's funny now.
How if I do something
You always make it about yourself

They compare me to you
Wanting me
Too be more like you.

When you mess up,
No big deal
Because you're the Golden Child.

But me?
Shunned to the side, a dissapointment, a waste.

I'm sorry I can't feed your ego.
That I'm horrible by not catering to your every need.

You blackmail me to get what you want
Spreading lies to all your friends,
That I'm a monster
Deciving
Scheming
Disgusting

I hate that I still love you,
Sis that I hold dear.
i still love you tho
Fall Nov 2018
Mom
Love , trust , herself , blindly will she give you

Hunger , sleep , others ,yourself , will she protect you

Hapinness , peace , security , are her powers

Regret , sorrow , tears , you feel for her

Uncernaity , fear , pain , father gifts you

Death , lonliness , craziness , shall craves you

Dissapointment , wrath , self-loathing , will this World Make you

Paradis , réincarnation , inner peace , will god promise you

The End , Reality , Dreams , will seem shallow compared to a single person

Words , feelings , gifts , will never do justice to her

Joke, humor, laugh, IS this whole POEME until my death

Try to be a better daughter for her , and always wish her to be your mother
DarkSkyesRising Nov 2018
Your inconsideration for this situation
Leaves me high
Burning dissappointment with no ointment
Leaves me dry
Filling up my artificial cup
Thats filled with holes
A symbol that with me
You will never reach your goals
There are way too many flaws
In your sweaty slap of *****
To give me what I need
To fill the want and greed
That I have for you
Your inconsideration for this situation
Leaves me high
Burning dissapointment with no ointment
Leaves me dry
Asking stupid questions that I hope
Will answer why
Wondering if It makes me weak
If I give up and cry
I can't handle this agony and absence
My mind is speaking in fragments
My heart is confused and erratic
and my brain feels like an attic
It is cluttered, it is sporatic

I guess in a way it is connected
But my actions don't reflect it
My mind is speaking in fragments with my brain thats like an attic
In a way that makes me seem like an addict

I'm addicted to love
I'm addicted to the feelings it can create
When you truly feel something for someone, no one, not even you can ever relate
Those moments are felt intensely, and you feel in those moments,
immensely

Such powerful love can only end in dissapointment
It will flatline and cause you pain
That pain may vary depending on the depth of love that you may carry
but this pain is something that kills you
you may not die from it (but you very well could) but it kills you
it destroys this idea of this love you thought existed

Your heart will be dormant and empty
It wants to be alive but it can't be
It was fed ideas that can't be
It desires to be those ideas but it just cant be
It's just not that simple and no one will be able to see

I wonder if anyone besides the person in your head ever notices that you are not the same person
That your old person is dead
It's as if the ego was killed, faded, and won't build
It's freezing over, and sometimes it feels like it might uncover
But then you're reminded that it's just too wounded to heal
That you're just not able to feel

Nothing can break the seal,
It's hold is too strong
It's like a scar in your soul,
It may be able to put itself back together,
but it will never be together like it was at the point before,
It will look different despite how hard the body tries to heal,
It is constant and you are reminded of it frequently,
It's always there and is a part of you

I wish I can start over, I wish I can start new
I wish I could experience more and enjoy life a little more, with you,
I want to forget, I want to be able to close that door
But the cold gust from the sealed heart keeps blowing it open

I used to be creative, but now I'm getting dull
My heart is fed up with ice, and it's grumbling, but it's full

The idea of love is such a faded one
It's no longer a thought,
you already thought you had it once,
that it was over and done, and true love was caught

The idea of love was infinite, but now it is a faded one
I can't feel anymore
and I want to feel again
Red Sep 2018
To set your sights on
a goal
In order to achieve the ambitions
Of your soul

Is to have your heart struck
By the visions
That your eyes have laid upon
most probably by luck

Nobody likes a loser
For they have given up
On what it is
that they wanted with a hush

Whether this be due to
an unfortunate circimstance or not
Dissapointment will surely allot
from even strangers they know not of

Only is true respect
shown from me to one
that is persistance
no matter the time taken for them to have to be number one under the sun.
My older brother once said to me always finish what you start.
Do not quit rather take a break for how ever long but do not give up
Emma Apr 22
You broke me,
You actually broke me,
I can never be content
Because whenever i see your face i fill up with rage, dissapointment and desperation.

Go tell your ***** she can have you,
God knows if you’re using me as excuse to stay,
The strings have been cut for you already.
But try and hurt me again,
And your whole world will crumble before you.
A letter dedicated to a sick family member
The prettiest smiles, hide the most secrets.
The most beautiful eyes, have cried the most tears.
The people with the kindest heart's, have been hit with the most pain.
Kind people help and support others, what do they gain?
They don't gain money.
They don't gain fame.
They don't gain anything that involves physical and appearance.
It's not dissapointment.
What they gain... Is emotions, and that's the most important.
Don't always think of yourself. If someone is struggling, you should help them. Especially if it's someone you care about. Cause if you actually care about them, you won't let them go on with the struggle alone. Their holding up a huge ton of problems and stress right on their backs, if you care, walk up to them, and give them a hand with ton. You're not going to let them get squished. You need them to know you're there for them.
And that you love and care.

— The End —