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"discoloured" poems
It seemed the space between us became torn and Profoundly distanced.................... Jamming bony knuckles and spread eagled fingers, Lying their mapped out journey.....direction on point patrol.... Adorned by silver decoration, delighting in their skinned habitat Shafted, deceit punching the recipient of the poison digits Prodding and pushing their intent....dare you contradict The intended carved out dose of punishment, Risk and Safety......not yours and never would be; stooped Down under the assailing bony palmed attachements That delivered penetrating power, cupped around Your arm til it became discoloured, pressure points Backed you into a corner, up against the grain of the Brick wall, cold and damp, the odour reaching And scolding your nostrils with its stale internal vows Refuse, stretching and protruding its foul remnents An earlier life, when you were not under threat fades Your very existance in jeopardy, your eyes pleaded for Normality, willing someone to hear your silence, grip you Tightly, not with malice, but with bravery and valour Right now you need that shining knight, that white Horse galloping down the blind alleyway, yet you Know that won't happen for you're already sinking To the floor, the blow comes sharp and stings, warmth Exudes and trickles a path downwards, leaving your Body, finding the cold concrete beneath you, travelling Outwards................
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Sep 3, 2012
Sep 3, 2012 at 7:58 AM UTC
Wrong place.....wrong time
Red balloons litter the floor, Out numbering the pure ones before, What once was white now Discoloured Violated Shrouded Float from view Each a moment of life As the balloons once white Now no more, For all is stained red Crimson, Droplets, Dried Upon white like a tear, It slides down marking Before greeting the floor, Expelled air, ruptured by the Violence, Anger, Death Still lingers, an after image Of the life that was here before, Red balloons float leaving their imprint Splatter effect upon floor & wall Cold eyes stare seeing both White & Red Balloons Clinging around this fallen life, Where white once was now all That floats is the stench of death Red balloons huddle around, Each carrying a moment with them When life became death & White was scarred by crimson, Life is static, still, for death  now floats above the floor
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Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 10:27 PM UTC
Red Balloons Where White Floated Before
Too far away, oh love, I know, To save me from this haunted road, Whose lofty roses break and blow On a night-sky bent with a load Of lights: each solitary rose, Each arc-lamp golden does expose Ghost beyond ghost of a blossom, shows Night blenched with a thousand snows. Of hawthorn and of lilac trees, White lilac; shows discoloured night Dripping with all the golden lees Laburnum gives back to light. And shows the red of hawthorn set On high to the purple heaven of night, Like flags in blenched blood newly wet, Blood shed in the noiseless fight. Of life for love and love for life, Of hunger for a little food, Of kissing, lost for want of a wife Long ago, long ago wooed. . . . . . . Too far away you are, my love, To steady my brain in this phantom show That passes the nightly road above And returns again below. The enormous cliff of horse-chestnut trees Has poised on each of its ledges An ***** small girl looking down at me; White-night-gowned little chits I see, And they peep at me over the edges Of the leaves as though they would leap, should I call Them down to my arms; "But, child, you're too small for me, too small Your little charms." White little sheaves of night-gowned maids, Some other will thresh you out! And I see leaning from the shades A lilac like a lady there, who braids Her white mantilla about Her face, and forward leans to catch the sight Of a man's face, Gracefully sighing through the white Flowery mantilla of lace. And another lilac in purple veiled Discreetly, all recklessly calls In a low, shocking perfume, to know who has hailed Her forth from the night: my strength has failed In her voice, my weak heart falls: Oh, and see the laburnum shimmering Her draperies down, As if she would slip the gold, and glimmering White, stand naked of gown. . . . . . . The pageant of flowery trees above The street pale-passionate goes, And back again down the pavement, Love In a lesser pageant flows. Two and two are the folk that walk, They pass in a half embrace Of linked bodies, and they talk With dark face leaning to face. Come then, my love, come as you will Along this haunted road, Be whom you will, my darling, I shall Keep with you the troth I trowed.
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4.2k
Drunk
Too far away, oh love, I know, To save me from this haunted road, Whose lofty roses break and blow On a night-sky bent with a load Of lights: each solitary rose, Each arc-lamp golden does expose Ghost beyond ghost of a blossom, shows Night blenched with a thousand snows. Of hawthorn and of lilac trees, White lilac; shows discoloured night Dripping with all the golden lees Laburnum gives back to light. And shows the red of hawthorn set On high to the purple heaven of night, Like flags in blenched blood newly wet, Blood shed in the noiseless fight. Of life for love and love for life, Of hunger for a little food, Of kissing, lost for want of a wife Long ago, long ago wooed. . . . . . . Too far away you are, my love, To steady my brain in this phantom show That passes the nightly road above And returns again below. The enormous cliff of horse-chestnut trees Has poised on each of its ledges An ***** small girl looking down at me; White-night-gowned little chits I see, And they peep at me over the edges Of the leaves as though they would leap, should I call Them down to my arms; "But, child, you're too small for me, too small Your little charms." White little sheaves of night-gowned maids, Some other will thresh you out! And I see leaning from the shades A lilac like a lady there, who braids Her white mantilla about Her face, and forward leans to catch the sight Of a man's face, Gracefully sighing through the white Flowery mantilla of lace. And another lilac in purple veiled Discreetly, all recklessly calls In a low, shocking perfume, to know who has hailed Her forth from the night: my strength has failed In her voice, my weak heart falls: Oh, and see the laburnum shimmering Her draperies down, As if she would slip the gold, and glimmering White, stand naked of gown. . . . . . . The pageant of flowery trees above The street pale-passionate goes, And back again down the pavement, Love In a lesser pageant flows. Two and two are the folk that walk, They pass in a half embrace Of linked bodies, and they talk With dark face leaning to face. Come then, my love, come as you will Along this haunted road, Be whom you will, my darling, I shall Keep with you the troth I trowed.
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74
Like a greedy vulture, I pecked at my skin What is there to accept? Is it the discoloured patches where plump red blush had settled before? Rosy and full of life, I will mourn for my past self. Is it the falling strings of hair giving up on embracing my tired neck? A backbone that has defied its own purpose. In a world of exchange and sharing Nature has found a place in me My soul reconciles with the desire to bloom But my body is dwelling in its ashy winter days Between the night and day Find me halfway deciding where to go, It will either be aspiring to be the sun or waiting for the end to die with the moon.
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Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 10:30 AM UTC
A Poem About Trying
I look down at my feet, toes adorned with chipped nail varnish, a pitiful plaster clinging to the sole, and I grimace at the purple marks, reddening blisters, cicatrices of stories long forgotten. The ***** of my feet are thin and worn, my heels rubbed raw from shoes I have loved and shoes I have detested, faded scars from childhood accidents. I have aged hating my feet, the discoloured skin, dotted with odious callouses, my throbbing, wrinkled soles. They have grown with me, from tiny clumps unrecognisable as a foetus, to wide, long size 7s. My toes are misshapen, twisting this way and that, freckled with sun kisses from foreign countries. They’ve been battered and bruised repeatedly, victims of my hurtling abuse and mortal neglect. I have punished them with verruca socks and freezing ointments, pin ****** small shoes, razor blades, nail clippers and not once have I nurtured them, soaked them with praise. These feet have walked me up mountains, aided me in athletic championships, withstood six inch heels on weekends, ran me through marathons, enduring my never-ending physical torment and though they may buckle, with weeping blisters and aching pains, dry skin, broken bones and sprained ankles, they will recover, rebuilding the scabrous skin. Regardless of how unstable my life may become in later years, whether I am stranded on a deserted island, or walking the ***** streets of the city, no room to call my own, my feet will always, undoubtedly, lead me to safety. And when I am old and withered, an exhausted heap of human life, with my last dying breath, I will thank my durable, reliable feet.
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May 2, 2016
May 2, 2016 at 11:28 AM UTC
My Feet and I
I look down at my feet, toes adorned with chipped nail varnish, a pitiful plaster clinging to the sole, and I grimace at the purple marks, reddening blisters, cicatrices of stories long forgotten. The ***** of my feet are thin and worn, my heels rubbed raw from shoes I have loved and shoes I have detested, faded scars from childhood accidents. I have aged hating my feet, the discoloured skin, dotted with odious callouses, my throbbing, wrinkled soles. They have grown with me, from tiny clumps unrecognisable as a foetus, to wide, long size 7s. My toes are misshapen, twisting this way and that, freckled with sun kisses from foreign countries. They’ve been battered and bruised repeatedly, victims of my hurtling abuse and mortal neglect. I have punished them with verruca socks and freezing ointments, pin ****** small shoes, razor blades, nail clippers and not once have I nurtured them, soaked them with praise. These feet have walked me up mountains, aided me in athletic championships, withstood six inch heels on weekends, ran me through marathons, enduring my never-ending physical torment and though they may buckle, with weeping blisters and aching pains, dry skin, broken bones and sprained ankles, they will recover, rebuilding the scabrous skin. Regardless of how unstable my life may become in later years, whether I am stranded on a deserted island, or walking the ***** streets of the city, no room to call my own, my feet will always, undoubtedly, lead me to safety. And when I am old and withered, an exhausted heap of human life, with my last dying breath, I will thank my durable, reliable feet.
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45
Crouching in the rotted dust, Covers covet the light; Dull, discoloured dust jackets And wrinkled leather hides Of the books that moulder and muse, Ruminate and render themselves To dust, as everything must, Upon long-forgotten shelves. Becomes the perfect breeding ground For shadows, for sickness, for sin; The ladies are seen to turn away With tarnished faces and tattered gowns, While the hero remains anonymous, A nobody about the town. A plot studded with lacunas And paralysed on page one, Words grown together in intimate embraces Never to be undone. Thin volumes of poetry Shiver with the poison of years, As passions freeze and snow falls in May – The daffodils die a beautiful death, The clouds are mottled and grey. A teardrop hits the page.
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Jun 19, 2012
Jun 19, 2012 at 2:00 PM UTC
Novel Neglect
The glint of a gold coin discarded and under a hedge. The unmistakeable ***** and ****** of the shrapnel congregating at the bottom of my pocket. I can find any combination of currency in a lovely jingle jangle of metallic discs. The cashier slips me a note and some change on top which spills onto the counter. A 10 pence piece tries an audacious spinning escape morphing into a ball. The change rattles again as it all settles at the bottom of my pocket after dropping in the new recruits. I slide the discoloured crinkled creased five pound note into my leather wallet nicely nestling next to a ten pound note. I love the  smell of ***** money!
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May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 3:14 AM UTC
***** Money
Everything is happening so quickly so many negatives surpassing the insignificant glimpse of positives that never seem to suffice, there’s always this light at the end of the tunnel that everyone speaks of, yet i continue to see darkness; a journey down this long tunnel brings no illumination but only a continuance of nihility, the damp walls seem to bring the chill humidity closer and closer with each step, the droplets echo the narrowing, flickering lights dissipate at passing, the gag sparking stench of sewage and ***** make the voyage to light even more unbearable than the previous hesitant inching towards the so called spoken about bearability of life, sudden scintillations of light bring sight of russet, worn doors, consecutively placed, discoloured of crimson roadkill, I open the first door and see a woman tied and bound, gag in throat, beads of sweat turning the white gag to watered milk, the dirt beneath her nails entwines with skin and blood dredged by her own fingertips, to front is a tray of what seems like torture tools *intrigued, I slam the door                                and avoid a kiss                                    from Judas* The next door, I open and see a man sitting facing the corner, wrapped in a flickering fan, staring at a wall of carvings of ticks and dashes, to see arms of cuts and gashes, with a tray next to him comprised of razors and knives he sits picking at skin of bruises and hives, tempted to grab the tool and corrode self, with the reflection of whats within, I slam the door                                                and avoid Finally the third door eagerly stares to me with anticipation boiling veins, I press my ear to foreshadow, I hear a cries; a man of hatred and a woman of pain I open the door and find a bottle of whiskey I take a swig and feel as if Judas kissed me, Within the third door; walls with peepholes to confirm the calls on the left I see the sliding knife over-panting roadmaps of russet to the neck of the bound woman,   the screams are deafening, they present a vibration, stuttering thoughts, and releasing the fixation, prompting the admiration to view the second door, I see myself, in door 2 tremors and convulsions seeing blood expel every vein as the verticals halt oxygen to the brain Departure brings me to the abysmal realm of society   where the burden of negativity proves to provide no proof towards what differs between the endless, narrow tunnel-visioned cesspool of bone marrow and psychosis driven visions and the narrow pathed voyage of life.
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Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 1:37 PM UTC
The Voyage To The Light Is Anything But Easy°
Everything is happening so quickly so many negatives surpassing the insignificant glimpse of positives that never seem to suffice, there’s always this light at the end of the tunnel that everyone speaks of, yet i continue to see darkness; a journey down this long tunnel brings no illumination but only a continuance of nihility, the damp walls seem to bring the chill humidity closer and closer with each step, the droplets echo the narrowing, flickering lights dissipate at passing, the gag sparking stench of sewage and ***** make the voyage to light even more unbearable than the previous hesitant inching towards the so called spoken about bearability of life, sudden scintillations of light bring sight of russet, worn doors, consecutively placed, discoloured of crimson roadkill, I open the first door and see a woman tied and bound, gag in throat, beads of sweat turning the white gag to watered milk, the dirt beneath her nails entwines with skin and blood dredged by her own fingertips, to front is a tray of what seems like torture tools *intrigued, I slam the door                                and avoid a kiss                                    from Judas* The next door, I open and see a man sitting facing the corner, wrapped in a flickering fan, staring at a wall of carvings of ticks and dashes, to see arms of cuts and gashes, with a tray next to him comprised of razors and knives he sits picking at skin of bruises and hives, tempted to grab the tool and corrode self, with the reflection of whats within, I slam the door                                                and avoid Finally the third door eagerly stares to me with anticipation boiling veins, I press my ear to foreshadow, I hear a cries; a man of hatred and a woman of pain I open the door and find a bottle of whiskey I take a swig and feel as if Judas kissed me, Within the third door; walls with peepholes to confirm the calls on the left I see the sliding knife over-panting roadmaps of russet to the neck of the bound woman,   the screams are deafening, they present a vibration, stuttering thoughts, and releasing the fixation, prompting the admiration to view the second door, I see myself, in door 2 tremors and convulsions seeing blood expel every vein as the verticals halt oxygen to the brain Departure brings me to the abysmal realm of society   where the burden of negativity proves to provide no proof towards what differs between the endless, narrow tunnel-visioned cesspool of bone marrow and psychosis driven visions and the narrow pathed voyage of life.
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75
It’s the hour before traffic, around that time when the paperboys sniff, all of them rubbing their noses on sleeves. The smog is fowl, a stray dog howls orange explosions of bitter pain through which the sun battles to make a comeback. Amber lights flash right of way for whoever’s driving home from the pub, whoever’s daft enough to face the day that way. The last ********** packs her bag, stubs out her *** and zips her **** shut, ‘A fat cow like me can only wait for so long.’ Soon the sky is Usual Blue, discoloured by security swipes, fake handshakes, and Columbia’s finest coffee-stained coffee shop waiters who sell the finest sugar cube coke to those hardworking folk who keep our nation ticking, and tocking – the digital clock, my rooster with the fraudulent eyes, tells me it’s time to let the snooze button go.
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Feb 9, 2011
Feb 9, 2011 at 3:13 AM UTC
Snooze Dreams
Repressed energies Planting sickly seeds Biting the hand that feeds Doing disgusting deeds Grabbing the fist that leads Sweating discoloured beads All to the rhythm of the marching team
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Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 11:42 AM UTC
Repressed Energies
The wind tickles my moustache cigarette tips its ash must remember to get that waxed or relationship could be axed My hair is looking grey better buy that dye today my nails look discoloured but couldn’t be bothered Still got the voucher for the gym I’ll put that in a card for him Son’s birthday coming up, 25 open lines of communication, strive Today’s feeling is melancholy haven’t got the energy to be jolly ah, here’s the bus paste on smile, face life thus
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Apr 12, 2013
Apr 12, 2013 at 9:28 AM UTC
Melancholy
I always thought I had green eyes, They are, in fact, blue. Envy has discoloured them and obscured my true view. Having now matured; trauma, aging, greying (audible gasp), healing is happening in ways not anticipated, nor valued at first. But now, I am embracing my true blue eyes to see anew.
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Oct 13, 2024
Oct 13, 2024 at 4:46 PM UTC
"Green Eyes"
so many faces, so many faces disfigured lives in hushed tones of living find they have no choice and with eyes discoloured yet not blind destroy the flowers that bloom they recognise the work of the infernal serpent in Miltonian affirmation of a stranger and a more deadly disfigurement than that which like sun baked clay bears its cracks in the haunting of lives with a medieval gargoylian curse to becomes the orphans of nothing, except everything and ask how does this equate with so many faces faces that are struggling for the paradise to be regained for the infernal serpent to be slain so many faces, so many faces
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Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 1:21 PM UTC
The struggle of the people of Turkey...so many faces...
I am a paling star to be washed out In the dazzling brightness of the arriving dawn A calendar that ran out of time A broken guitar with strings loose I will soon exit out of life Like a man hardly anyone knew existed And only very few would miss As I look back to the prime days I feel years have flown away in a flurry Like scraps of paper whirling in the gale A dense fog crawls up into my eyes The verdant vistas and smiling faces Have discoloured like weather worn paintings The violet shadows of red rocks Form a dark cave within me Nothing subsists in the dells n’ hollows Of my memory I wilt under Age’s burning breath And wither under its deadly blight Now I drift... a rudderless vessel Through unknown waters Waiting at the Departure Lounge I now have only one prayer; Don’t let me scorn and disdain the young Whose sky is wider and dreams endless Who walk with nimble feet and sure steps To conquer the world that has left me a scrap!
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Aug 16, 2017
Aug 16, 2017 at 8:56 AM UTC
An Old man's Prayer
In this room where I grew up calves’ roars creep in the open window. Day dream on the bed, mirror reflects in Autumn: the time my notebook fills, floods like the land. As I check my email from my phone, two daddy long legs mate on the discoloured floorboards– no business of mine enter my password– no business of theirs. The dog suddenly barks, the front door opens, two old babes shuffle in to visit Gran in the same spot she’s been parked for the last two years, watching the seasons change through the kitchen’s lace scene. All as deaf as the dead; simultaneous yet different conversations– I interpret and translate. In unison they sing my praises: He’s good boy, oh yes a good boy indeed– like I was the dog. Outside Dad chops timber, I make tea for three. Cut some cake Gran worries. What will they think? Barn brack with ring, memories of Halloween play in my head, welcomed like the moon, always. Evening: after I have the sheep counted, I watch the stag in the next field– they rut this time of year, call for a mate. Tomorrow is Friday, the first of the month. The priest will call to the sick and elderly– I will hear the dog announce his red Toyota Starlett over the fields. Thank God Gran doesn’t know. I can do without that worry anytime of year.
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Aug 30, 2010
Aug 30, 2010 at 2:22 PM UTC
Mí na Samhna
All I had done, all I could have But with a touch, A single cut, The blade was old, black as night It was a paper cut, stung like hell But that's how I let it in, My world changed that day, I awoke, Where once there was blood But a vein of black where but a scar revealed My finger numb, Cold to the touch, And everyday I awoke the coldness spread Like a vine it crept up veins black Poison ivy creeping, Awoken in the night my hand upon my throat Squeezing, Compressing, Restriction, Of breath, I awoke was it a dream I looked upon myself, The mirror showed me The horror of the night, A hand print, bruised flesh was seen The veins of black had spread, Upon my body Feet, Legs, Torso, Pink flesh now discoloured, Black veins protruded I shivered, I was cold to the touch, I was being consumed from within The darkness crept upon my throat A voice not mine spoke, "Blade of darkness" "Hell sealed within" "Cut upon flesh" "To release" "The evil within" "What was warm" "Be cold to the touch" "Death will follow" "Once darkness spoke from within"   Fear and terror gripped my mind As this body know no longer mine, I had moments before I was gone, Blacking out I awoke, What once was me know spoke Your flesh is mine, Released to sin, this is my suit To wear, while you watch within You are dead, Spirit trapped, I will live your life, While you soul forever rots within.
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Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 6:56 AM UTC
Blade Of Darkness
Dearest wildflower grinning With powdered crooked teeth And hair incandescent and strange I write you this as though it were my last. Follow me into the Holocene And the night ghosts will not wither your grinning soul Your blue eyes dance away Your iris discoloured and grey Never has indigo seemed so violent And Auburn hair seem so opaque And strong tongues seemed so silent. During Berlin nights And blanched London days I'm forever burning in your flames.
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Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 9:15 PM UTC
an ode to Bowie (repost)
When the sun slumbered beyond the falling horizon, a deranged mentor of those it wondered over below. False expressions were given in tribute to that which watched with acidic smiles of their   persecution beneath its gaze. In its fading they were collected in truest outline. Negatives of perceived imaginings, pigmentation descended from form like coloured petals turning to dust. They were the abattoirs of this now discoloured imaginings. Sweetened voices of lullabies were replaced by disorientated shrills, that reverberated within the halls, they lumbered in there contorted abodes. Nesting into corners of despair that blossomed on them with hues of isolation. Feasting on warm carcasses, weeping with trepidation at this momentary freedom they felt. There home of tattered souls that were cleaved from prey, no peace in death. They hang at the windows clinging to lost hope. Time was a nine tailed mistress that whipped them into the binding once more. For the arising was upon them, they were lacerated within colour once more. All that was flaked away and became as it was. Smiles on there faces paying tribute to that above.
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Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 9:56 AM UTC
Deranged Teletubbies
It oozed from my nails like blood But darker, no pain, it fell upon the floor It was warm around my toes "It was like a puddle walked after a storm" But then then Lacerations, Irritation, Convulsions As what once bleed from my nails Now pierced my flesh, My body trembled, As I hit the floor, "Shaking uncontrollably" It crept under my skin Burning upon every nerve, but then Pierced, Cracked, Perforated   From under the skin, I touched the first, "I screamed in plentiful agony" As if a raw Nerve had been openly touched, It was like poison ivy, my skin Discoloured veins of Red, Blue, Black Slowly crept over the open wounds, It had moved to my trunk, ***** of black spewed forth"** As it entwined, Like clawed fingers Lacerating my internal organs, I moved back, "Crawled upon the floor" The now solid nerves Scrapped, scratching the wooden boards, It was a  futile act, as if I could escape That which was under my skin, My arms were perforated Upon my throat, veins crept As it knew that if Pierced, Bleed, Breath No more would be had, But each was as if embers of flame Inhaled, exhaled with each painful breath, It crawled underneath flesh, agony Not letting me go, I was conscious "Even though I preyed to pass out" It clawed Slowly, Intentionally, At each eye, like a thousand paper cuts My eyes cried tears of black, As I was shown the darkness within That which had taken form externally, I was Corrupted, Polluted, Distorted Darkness that had crept beneath my skin, And with that I exhaled, "Black feathers spewed forth" Cutting at my throat As I ejected the darkness These black feathers not hitting the floor Instead just floating around, "As I expelled once more" Till one feather of white exited With each touch Black became white, Ever brighter the room became, Like a blanket covering I slept "I awoke" "Under white sheets" "Was this but a dream, a nightmare" "I coughed and exhaled" "A tiny black feather exited" Then I knew that darkness is always inside, But it can grow upon the soul, Cutting into the white, Like a vine corrupting upon the flesh Good, Light, & Bad Darkness, Are things of life But we must never let the Darkness blot out the light and take control of our life.
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Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 4:54 AM UTC
Darkness From My soul
It oozed from my nails like blood But darker, no pain, it fell upon the floor It was warm around my toes "It was like a puddle walked after a storm" But then then Lacerations, Irritation, Convulsions As what once bleed from my nails Now pierced my flesh, My body trembled, As I hit the floor, "Shaking uncontrollably" It crept under my skin Burning upon every nerve, but then Pierced, Cracked, Perforated   From under the skin, I touched the first, "I screamed in plentiful agony" As if a raw Nerve had been openly touched, It was like poison ivy, my skin Discoloured veins of Red, Blue, Black Slowly crept over the open wounds, It had moved to my trunk, ***** of black spewed forth"** As it entwined, Like clawed fingers Lacerating my internal organs, I moved back, "Crawled upon the floor" The now solid nerves Scrapped, scratching the wooden boards, It was a  futile act, as if I could escape That which was under my skin, My arms were perforated Upon my throat, veins crept As it knew that if Pierced, Bleed, Breath No more would be had, But each was as if embers of flame Inhaled, exhaled with each painful breath, It crawled underneath flesh, agony Not letting me go, I was conscious "Even though I preyed to pass out" It clawed Slowly, Intentionally, At each eye, like a thousand paper cuts My eyes cried tears of black, As I was shown the darkness within That which had taken form externally, I was Corrupted, Polluted, Distorted Darkness that had crept beneath my skin, And with that I exhaled, "Black feathers spewed forth" Cutting at my throat As I ejected the darkness These black feathers not hitting the floor Instead just floating around, "As I expelled once more" Till one feather of white exited With each touch Black became white, Ever brighter the room became, Like a blanket covering I slept "I awoke" "Under white sheets" "Was this but a dream, a nightmare" "I coughed and exhaled" "A tiny black feather exited" Then I knew that darkness is always inside, But it can grow upon the soul, Cutting into the white, Like a vine corrupting upon the flesh Good, Light, & Bad Darkness, Are things of life But we must never let the Darkness blot out the light and take control of our life.
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92
There is that failure of communication, At least of that soft civilized kind, the Type that doesn’t involve blackened eyes And broken teeth and bruises like fallen Apples. She tries to hide her face behind Her scarf, pulls up the collar of her coat To conceal the bruises to her throat, pulls The sleeves down to cover up discoloured Arms and long skirts to mask the beaten Thighs from her neighbours prying eyes. He is full of jackshit and self-pity and Mopes and sulks and blames her for the Messy house, the kids crying, the bills high, His fists flying. Unconditional love is the Only real love, her mother said, lecturing To her on her wedding eve, pushing the Rosary beads between fingers and thumb. Nights he doesn’t come home are best, she Can sleep and unwind and rest. Even the kids Can feel the peaceful air when he isn’t there. His apologises are fake notes, they bring her Nothing, reveal nothing, cast false hopes like Wasted seeds, open up the pretending dreams That life is always better than it is or seems.
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Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 3:21 PM UTC
PRETENDING DREAMS.
Glaciers withered within me, evaporating into clouds of despair. I collect within a dispersal of all that was cloudless, but now I'm slowly reseeding within a squall of sorrows,               withered emotions now on the cusp of what is darkening the skies of my fortitude. But they say every cloud has that glimmer of hope,                         a silver lining of reflection within. That discoloured allure faded before it began. And now all that I'm consumed by,               is shades of ashen contemplations. Static discharges of emotions collide in turbulent clashes, as words shatter pine trees of fortitudes, splintering hearts. Echoing from within,                          glancing the air in discord. Precipitation finally collapsing below. After every storm there is a moment clarity, where tears fell and emotions disfigured                                 another's calm ground. Remember that when the clouds are gone that the illumination of emotions will shine though, and once again there is calm.
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Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 8:51 AM UTC
Tempest Of Others Emotions
People are too concerned with self, said Father Higgs. His aged face as if hewn from Rock, sat before you on broad shoulders, the lips labouring with the words. Too much worried how self will feel, how self will benefit. He hunched forward, his large eyes moving over you like tired slugs. The symbol of the cross, he said with a movement of his head, is to cut through the I, the sign of the self. You noticed one high brow, grey, larger than the other, hair in nose like insects in hiding. He breathed out deeply. Self denial is the essence of the message of Christ, he said, a left inclination of his head, his teeth (not his own) large and discoloured. You wanted to ask questions, but he raised a hand. The word I is stated too often in conversations, he said, or self too much brought in as myself or herself or himself or such as may be used in talk. You understood this was his way of lecturing. His black monastic habit was stained about the neck by food or dribble or dried up phlegm. We ought to be concerned with others, he stated, wheezing, face reddening, eyes enlarging. Where is my inhaler? he wheezed, I really must be off, this smoker’s cough, my poor old lungs, must get myself a stronger inhaler and he was off, out of the common room he had caught you in some hour back. All you saw was his hand and inhaler and departing monastic habit of black.
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Jul 9, 2012
Jul 9, 2012 at 1:58 AM UTC
TOO CONCERNED WITH SELF.
Dearest wildflower grinning With powdered crooked teeth And hair incandescent and strange I write you this as though it were my last. Follow me into the Holocene And the night ghosts will not wither your grinning soul Your blue eyes dance away Your iris discoloured and grey Never has indigo seemed so violent And Auburn hair seem so opaque And strong tongues seemed so silent. During Berlin nights And blanched London days I'm forever burning in your flames.
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Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 12:19 PM UTC
An ode to Bowie
And so they played they were Innocent, But the words in wood They spoke In black mud "Wood was" "Wood is" "Wood will end" "Wood will become" "What had began" Fear runs fast in young eyes, As to a father they did run "Calm down little ones" And in to woods he took An instrument of destruction, So upon wood he did Hack, Carve, Splinter Pieces now  layed upon the ground, A splinter did puncture His finger that bleed upon Black mudded ground,   And he dug at hated mud For words to be seen, "A splinter" !Will seal the fate" "And too wood will consume" He looked upon the words And glancing blows, Now all was splintered Covered in black mud, Days had past Night was calling, He awoke startled, a burning Sensation, Looking where the splinter Had punctured,  his Finger unable to move, Then as the nights did pass More fingers fell to the numbness Unable to move, He awoke Three nights past, His hand discoloured And a elbow locked, so much pain The fingers now spread out angles were Distorted, Altered, Contaminated, As the stiffness spread Arm and hand now locked in this figure, not natural, His skin did wrinkle Not a colour that Is meant to be, He though he would breath in his last Outside he ran, Bare feet did sprint, then for "No reason" His feet did stop Pain seared through his Appendages He looked down in horror Toes rooted to the ground He reached up "God what have you done" And so the skin consumed wrinkled Like bark his skin did Manifest Once only wrinkled But more like bark from a tree Wood was destroyed, It warned in the wood "Disrespect nature" "And wood you become" There is a new tree in the garden The Mother looks upon this new Leaved tree "It looks like your dads face" "Only just" The child says, There father was never seen But he had paid the heavy price For the words foretold,   That wood will consume, Sap leaks from the tree Slowly it fell for many months to come Always seeing but unable to move, His family sheltered under the tree in Summers, Winter, Rain, They always kept dry Under the tree, And every so often, A branch would move, to brush up To be close to his family.
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Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 6:09 PM UTC
Words In The Wood
And so they played they were Innocent, But the words in wood They spoke In black mud "Wood was" "Wood is" "Wood will end" "Wood will become" "What had began" Fear runs fast in young eyes, As to a father they did run "Calm down little ones" And in to woods he took An instrument of destruction, So upon wood he did Hack, Carve, Splinter Pieces now  layed upon the ground, A splinter did puncture His finger that bleed upon Black mudded ground,   And he dug at hated mud For words to be seen, "A splinter" !Will seal the fate" "And too wood will consume" He looked upon the words And glancing blows, Now all was splintered Covered in black mud, Days had past Night was calling, He awoke startled, a burning Sensation, Looking where the splinter Had punctured,  his Finger unable to move, Then as the nights did pass More fingers fell to the numbness Unable to move, He awoke Three nights past, His hand discoloured And a elbow locked, so much pain The fingers now spread out angles were Distorted, Altered, Contaminated, As the stiffness spread Arm and hand now locked in this figure, not natural, His skin did wrinkle Not a colour that Is meant to be, He though he would breath in his last Outside he ran, Bare feet did sprint, then for "No reason" His feet did stop Pain seared through his Appendages He looked down in horror Toes rooted to the ground He reached up "God what have you done" And so the skin consumed wrinkled Like bark his skin did Manifest Once only wrinkled But more like bark from a tree Wood was destroyed, It warned in the wood "Disrespect nature" "And wood you become" There is a new tree in the garden The Mother looks upon this new Leaved tree "It looks like your dads face" "Only just" The child says, There father was never seen But he had paid the heavy price For the words foretold,   That wood will consume, Sap leaks from the tree Slowly it fell for many months to come Always seeing but unable to move, His family sheltered under the tree in Summers, Winter, Rain, They always kept dry Under the tree, And every so often, A branch would move, to brush up To be close to his family.
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