"detoxing" poems
I need rehab from you, and I’m sorry
but this isn’t healthy.
Admitting being a problem is sobering
And I hope you can recover from my withdrawal.
I’ll be busy detoxing myself,
For everyone after you.
But mostly for myself.
I hope you remember how great you are!!
As I try to forget all the poison you gave me
I'll be cheering you on from a far!!
& revising the scripts I tell myself
So that one day I'll stop playing the role
You put me in
And I'll start living
For myself again
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 12:04 AM UTC
I hate you
But I need you
You break me
Yet I pursue you
You burrow deep into
My soul
Weeding
Weeding out all
My inner fears
And presenting
Them to me proudly
Ev
er
Y
Day
I fear your power
Yet long your presence
You claw your way into
My guts
I purge you out
So many time
Yet every time
You remain within me
I pray for freedom
Yet hold the key
Scared you'll leave
Scared you'll stay
I need draining
Detoxing
Filtering
Burning
To rid your presence from
My time ...
What scares me most
Is how you grow
And pass among
The lonely souls
I long for a day
Where you are no more
A fleeting nightmare
A sickening joke
You've taken friends
Of many sorts
Never fussy
For your curse
Bulimia. Anorexia. EDNOS. Binge Eating
So many masks you own
I pray a day
when mine
Is
Thrown .....
!Eating Disorders need bombing!
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 5:07 PM UTC
The pain of leaving you is creeping in,
Am I detoxing the opiates in your skin?
My fractured heart is in its mould
Held together with hopes turned cold.
The time will come for it to thaw
And expose the damage from a love so flawed.
As it crumbles it will take its bow,
For it's only to blame for the state it's in now.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 4:13 PM UTC
Everybody has a drug
Mine?
Mine is you.
Mine is your touch,
No matter how rough.
Mine is your voice,
Whispering,
Growling,
In my ear,
So only I can hear,
That I'm yours,
From head to toe.
Mine is our love,
Your lips on mine,
Hot and heavy,
Your hands over my heart,
Making all sense fall apart
But now
I don't see you
Not that we don't want to.
I'm detoxing
From the best drug
And it is Painful
Shameful
How much I want you
How my chest burns
How my stomach turns
I can't eat
You've got me beat
I can't Sleep,
**** counting Sheep.
All I want is you,
My drug,
My love.
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 1:58 PM UTC
im angry.
i have no right to be.
but im stressed and im scared and im alone and im worried
about you
i should be worried about my exams pushing myself to the very breaking point breaking down breaking through
alas i spend my hours in an exhausted mess trying to think of how
how
how to fix you.
and im angry.
because you give advice you dont take
we all do
and im angry
because as much as i try
to put pieces together and be there for you and give you space and fix your problems and be your escape
i cant
not like you need me to
maybe we dont fit
maybe i cant cope with your stress outs and maybe you get sick of my constant sadness and maybe one day one of us will just get up and leave.
and this time not come back.
see i love you like an addiction but i see how you'll ruin me
i see how much detoxing from you is going to **** me
you will **** me
and i cant get the image of you leaving out of my head and im angry
because 'please baby' wont appease you
'stay' wont make you
'i love you' wont mean anything to you
im scared of you and im angry
im scared of you
and what you do to me
because who else could make me fall half as fast but twice as hard as the last?
who else can set me on fire yet provide the ******* salvation
im scared of you
im scared youll break me
and maybe heartaches meant to
but thing is i think you can walk away unfuckingscathed and oh **** baby
that makes me angry.
i say fix you like its a problem about you but its not about you its about your situation but thing is the way i see the word fix ?
youll push me further and further away
you warned me
so i cant be angry
but how far can i be pushed before i walk away
defeated
you warned me
and i can promise to be your saviour but im not sure
how
and that makes me angry
i want to be your saviour
and the truth is no matter how far you push me ill always always be there when you come back
no matter if were not together
if its 10 years down the track and i barely remember your name but i remember your lips and the marks you left on me and the words you said and the way you make me feel and how much my heart jumps when you look at me and how much i love you
how much i love you
thats the thing
im angry because i care
im angry because im scared
because i love you
and ive never loved someone like i love you
so when i say im angry
i mean
please dont leave.
May 29, 2018
May 29, 2018 at 8:57 AM UTC
They say one always gets attached more than the other.
Does that explain why i always wake up and swear i just heard you calling my name.
They say one loves the other more.
Is love really the reason for the chemical imbalance in my brain, and without it my body is detoxing like a addict off their drug for days??
I guess they were right.
I am not new to this label though, i call these people, myself included, lovers without borders.
Because they have no limit on who they can love, and nothing stands in their way. Not even if the person they love doesn't return the feelings, they don't mind. As long as the other is happy, in the meantime though, they slowly gather up the broken pieces that fell along the way, and put their heart back together, and just like that almost looking brand new, but their will always be left over residue, from the love that couldn't be true.
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 3:01 AM UTC
I called what we had
"A poisonous relationship"
I apologize but it's true
You made me physically ill
I had to medicate myself
In order to put up with you
And your apathy
And your people pleasing
And your mother and her fake religion
You made me sick
Like poison
Maybe not cyanide arsenic or mercury
Because I'm not dead
I'm healing
I'm getting better
Despite drinking your poison for such a long time I'm still here
Detoxing
Jan 16, 2017
Jan 16, 2017 at 1:41 PM UTC
The synergistic symbiote
Whom dwells deep upon my breast
Hides secrets within the locked chest.
Tethered heart strings play a familiar note.
Tightly wound, eroding away
Confusion gives rise, memories wash over
Dr Jekyll, Mr. Hyde struggling to be sober
Detoxing lies I told myself were okay.
Beg for the truth before you leave
The lump in my throat budges, failing
In my head is one story, railing
Away to free, a goal I won't achieve.
Two kindred spirits struggle, power
The true motivator, the opressor killing
Dreams to express brokeness chilling
My spine as we debate and you turn sour.
Friends one moment, devils the here after
Souls once melded, fight for control
Where I am me, you look to patrol
Finding my weakness, self claimed master.
Words won't find a wandering ear
To which could understand, pain
Like this, losing all with nothing to gain
Supress these fears, in silence dear.
We write the words, we won't speak
Nightmares live through day dreams
Stalking the foolish, insane screams
Suffer this shell, shed yourself of the weak.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 2:08 PM UTC
You really don't know
how I crave the curve of you
Your soft skin
and the way you shake
when you ******
Jesus Christ
Your body is like ******
And I am detoxing
It's hard to forget
The taste
of your mouth
Or the winces
when you wanted
One more kiss
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 8:00 AM UTC
i'm here,
saying all the things you don't have the guts to say,
here i am,
facing the elephant in the room,
setting it free,
it's about time for a goodbye to be made,
even if you are trying to avoid one.
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 3:04 AM UTC
"look at the lid of your cup, there's SO much lipstick on there." You pointed this out a few times to me. What did I do? Sat there embarrassed each time and tried to sheepishly rub the red substance off. It was small things like this, feeling like I somehow let you down-that scared me the most. Little did I know, I had way more to fear. Man, were you good at wiping things off as if they never existed. I should have just handed you my coffee cups and let you wipe off the stains because you are great at hiding the evidence of anything existing at all. My heart aches at the thought of you detoxing your body from my kisses. You wiped away the feeling of my head on your chest, my lips on yours, & the happiness you felt when I called you my babe. And now November has came and gone and I'm still stuck in October with you before you destructed us. "This doesn't have to be for good and I don't even want it to be for good." It's as though everything, your words, your promises, your dignity, have been stolen from you. You gave me the chance to run yet tried holding on to me to ultimately decide you wanted her, not me. WHAT DID I DO WRONG? I'm so tired of thinking it's me but the irritation and bitterness I feel is sickening. Now December has arrived and you're so far gone it frightens me.
You were supposed to stick around.
Dec 1, 2015
Dec 1, 2015 at 2:09 AM UTC
Drunk, numb, and fainted.
Just to find myself laying in bed.
Awoken, sober views tainted.
Tracing lines inside sore eyes,
Trying to find clear sights.
Clarity, where do I find clarity these days?
Detoxing the same old story, different chapter but the pages read the same.
24 years written inside 24 pages of this book.
Valediction, but not vindicated
Where has time went ?
Where have I been?
Lost in shame.
Lost in shame.
Lost in shame.
I'm not who I used to be.
I'll never be the person my thoughts imagine me to be.
I'm not who I used to be.
I'll never be the man the world wants me to mold myself to be.
I'll never be anyone or anything.
I'll always be that lost little kid
Walking In circles inside the idea of who I'm suppose to be.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 4:12 AM UTC
detoxing from you
bawling on the bathroom floor
here comes the relapse
Jul 13, 2012
Jul 13, 2012 at 4:06 AM UTC
Everything smells differently in the rain
Mostly you on my skin
Loosely running down my fingertips
Between all ten toes
Detoxing
Breaking from you
Silently
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 11:29 AM UTC
A lot of **** has been on my mind.
Aside from how much I hate Christmas
I'm focused on making money.
And detoxing
Quiting drinking
Quoting smoking
The fact that I have to end a friendship because she chooses not to respect me, my wishes and our relationship and my girlfriend.
It ***** but that's okay.
But what honestly hurts me the most
Is that, I don't think my girlfriend cares about how I feel.
Sure, last night she talked me through a lot of **** I needed to talk about.
But I feel like I can't talk to her about the way she hurts me sometimes.
She'd never hit me.
She'd never do anything that would make me completely submissive
however
If she feels like she's not in control of her choices she's
obstinate
Unwavering.
I respect it.
It just hurts sometimes.
she talks to her ex boyfriend.
It's not wrong.
Well it wouldn't be if it wasn't the same guy she left me for
The same guy she said
"Well, I just want to see if he's what I want."
And when he wasn't, at least I was still waiting.
The same guy that would lose intresf in her whenever she'd leave me for him.
I'm hurting and my self esteem is **** because of this.
He invited her to go play manhunt and I'm positive had I not been with her that night she would have Humored him at first then gone when she realized it sounded like fun.
The only reason I'm so sure
Is because she told me that she told him next time she'd be down to play.
She thinks "Alex texted me today and tried to make plans but I turned him down so I could be with you"
Or
"I only hug him up for bud"
excuses talking to him.
Man, I feel ******* worthless.
All I know is that I'm over it.
I'm over hearing his name
And knowing he talks to her and she lets it happen
because
Because
Because
Because why?
What makes hearing from him
More important than actually setting me at ease.
Does she not care?
Do I even matter?
I feel like I'm worthless these days
As shallow as it sounds
Making money is the only thing that's helping my self esteem.
I don't even like money.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 11:08 AM UTC
Vulnerability picked at battered Heart
Opened spirits found a tattered soul
What seems impossible was our start
Years of false hope refused to let us fold
Help, you wouldn’t seek -----I would never consider to give
Disposition changed daily
Detoxing lies in which we lived
From all the game we been playing
Maybe this is practice
For all the truth we were lacking
Fact is, we still care---all of the afflictions are past tense
Fixate your fire; let me know I’m back in
Redress our desire amid the doubt—believe
Fight forever for ourfutures,achieve
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 11:48 PM UTC
Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to see you again.
I cannot get these thoughts out of my head.
The ****** ****** detoxing on my cot.
The guy that put a gun to my head.
My mother pushing me from the car.
I want the pain to stop.
I crawl inside that bottle of whiskey.
And follow it with a few to many sleeping pills.
I want my thoughts to stop racing.
I start to drift silently into sleep,
On that park bench.
It's one in the morning.
That light is so bright.
I hear my name,
My body shaking,
"Wake up, Amanda.
Amanda you need to wake up."
There's three officers standing over me.
Flashing their lights in my face.
I start to come around.
"We need you to walk over to the squad."
I can barely stand.
My speech is slurred.
"What did you take?"
I try to tell them.
Beg and plead to just let me sleep.
They call the paramedics.
As they try to keep me awake.
Please let me sleep.
I want to say I'm sorry.
We may not wear the same uniform,
But we definitely fight on the same team.
I don't want to die.
I just want the pain to end.
Jun 12, 2019
Jun 12, 2019 at 9:23 AM UTC
We are all babies born
of an addict mother, detoxing
from a drug we never took.
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 8:35 PM UTC
resonance...
i feel it in my bones
do you feel it in your soul?
i’m detoxing from a nightmare that happened in a moment that no longer exists
when i experience bliss i make sure to loosen fists
the other part of me that i held dear for so long is fading along with the rest of our song
i’ll be gone before dawn
i’ve transitioned into the queen and you’re still playing as a pawn
i only let certain dates resonate
and i’ll reciprocate the conversation
i’ll look you in the eyes and smile and tell you everything that comes to mind
happiness refined
i can always tell when they’re falling in love cause they don’t ever want leave
i like to make you laugh
as we seep into the cracks
reality becomes something i’ve never seen before
i’ve become an anchor to silver linings
and i live life making sure you can’t find me
i’m trying to contain the love that wants to overflow in the spots i seal so tightly
cause i promise that with just one kiss
i can’t make you forget me
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 1:03 AM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
People are starting to wake up and realize what's going on,
the monsters that sit on their thrones will
be demolished after claiming the lives on
every innocent man and woman,
I could hear them coming,
Burn yourself on the flame to see if your dreaming ,we ain't go no time to be sleep,
No beds for me in the society of a chaos to deep to comprehend when you're sheep,
No urban peace in this *****
Anxiety drivin lil boy in this *****
The detoxing captain capturing fish,
The poet on the gram with no censorship,
I guess my writers block stopped but I ain't
Stopped ****
May 15, 2019
May 15, 2019 at 12:37 PM UTC
Sometimes we must move
Not shallow gym class work-mimicry
Empty choreography
Planned, timed, synchronised
Movement the purpose, fitness the goal
or health, or presentation
Important, worthy, needed
and yet, a slight, simplistic facsimile
of really moving
Sometimes we must move
Not gentle-stroll-incidental, ancillary activity
Perfect temperature
Sweat-less, shiver-less, comfortable
Sunshine the purpose, restoration the goal
or biophilia, or head-clearing
Cleansing, uplifting, lovely
and yet, orthogonal to the experience
of really moving
Sometimes we must move
For more than moving’s sake
Sincere reverberations
Changing, morphing, building
Action the purpose, elevation the goal
or processing, or releasing
Cathartic, detoxing, rejuvenating
in a way that leaves our world
different than before
we moved
When danger seems a looming steady state
Embrace the energy to scream and run
and channel into moving through the fear
Transmute to new found strength to persevere
To body-work at peak ‘til job is done
To push and pull, to dig, haul up, and scrub
Yield recompense for sweat and pulsing nerves
The world a little better than before
Clearer, cleaner, cared for, kept, and more
And you all terror-spent and panic-purged
Nov 18, 2024
Nov 18, 2024 at 2:34 AM UTC