Anxiety
A ball of prickling fire tearing beneath my sternum.
Fear
A bolt of electric ripping through my veins.
Depression
A cloud so thick is suffocates my soul.
Anorexia
Starving the outside from within.
Bulimia
Inhaling the world and purging it back.
Failure
Being crushed by society for all of the above .....

And still wondering why oh why is it me???

Why?

A wave of grey
A surge of anxiety

What was I doing here
Do I recognised this place

A dark cocoon
A low rising mist
A location only I hold

The lonely, heavy pull
Was this life

Alone with  my mind
A dangerous predicament
A choice I have not made

Can you hear my screams
Or are they muffled like my mind  

I see no route ahead
The path is fading quickly

I hold the rail
Longing for direction

No one sees me
There's no one here

I look up at the world above
Will I one day be taken there!!?

I've had a journey to Hell
And back
Yet.. The journey has had many lessons along
The way
The people good/bad
The traumas endured
YET
I stand proud
Proud as a King
Standing high on his throne
Pleased that he has reigned through hardship
He has now become a warrior
A tooled and skilled individual
Knowing that he is stronger now
Wiser and more precious to life
He has battled through wars and won
The most prolific war was that from within
To discover the peace that has been hiding for so long!
Now my queens ... I take this crown to place on my head
Knowing that I have battled to this point
The demons are now at rest
I breathe deeply
The journey continues ... Yet it's now with the Sun
Not a black cloud drowning my soul
Peace will prevail and all will be well!

I've fought this fight to enjoy NOT to endure
The beauty of life ... Now my demons have gone.

This day is a celebration to all
I love you so
My life line and foundation
That I'd have crumbled without

My heart is yours as you have given me life ❤️

You make my heart race
You make my love embrace
I twirl inside when I'm in your space
You make my soul sing
My heart ring
When all is dark
You are that light that shows me the way
With thoughts of freedom and inner peace
You inspire me to achieve
To DREAM ...and to explore
The outer world that's seemed so far
A loving embrace... A little look
Your tears of joy ... Project the peace I've found
The optimist that you are
Inspires my soul to return to a world
Not containing this HELL
My life and soul will be free
And for that my friend
I owe you my words
That show my love
For all of your support and through times of hell!
I love you my friend
Together as one ... Against the demon that we're fighting ..... always from within!
Amen Sister ❤️

I'm rithing in my shell
It's expanding
Dropping
Exploding
In front of my eyes

I'm panicked
I'm scared
I'm huge beyond recognition

"Oh how well you look"
Such a difference
So much better now

Better
Better
By who's standards

I'm crawling in my skin
Too much skin
Too much fat
Tissue
Just too much me

I can't comprehend taking
Up this space for any longer
Reacting
Panic

Knowing I want more
Yet
Living trapped in this
Hugeness is killing
Me slowly ...

A single breath
A body so scarred
Internal torture
External pain

My body blesses me
The hell it's endured
My heart still beats
My mind still there

Battering it daily
Abusing its trust
Draining its energy
Hurts a must

My heart keeps beating
I'm not sure why

I owe it my everything
Until the day I die

Joined as one together
My body, myself & I