It was always a joke to you
But it was the world to me
i feel like the second *** of coffee that you brewed thinking you wanted more, however you quickly changed your mind about ever liking the taste in the first place.
while making my second *** of coffee this morning I was contemplating whether or not I really needed more (of course I did!) and this poem just came to me in that moment.
Your mind likes to wander
But the thought leaves you cold
You can feel your heart drop
And you remember every word you've been told
It pains you to think
But there is no off switch to your mind
Your bed is where your head only works in rewind
All of the above remains the same
He reminded me of you. I remember his taste, it was just like yours: a perfect mix of hopelessness and pain. His careless demeanor matched yours to a t. His excuses and yours aligned perfectly. The sound of him sleeping mimicked you. I think the only difference between the two was, it wasn't just *** for him. I wasn't just a prize to be won. I wasn't a toy sitting there waiting to be claimed. He saw me as a person, or at least he made it seem like he did. If it was all an act, at least he was a better actor. I deserved better than either of you were willing to give me. He didn't rush me like you did. He at least took the time to spread out the lies, to make them believable. He reminded me of you, and that's just one more example of how I can never escape you.
Both of you had me wrapped around your finger. I would have done anything for either of you. I gave up so much for the both of you and neither of you cared. I still wasn't worth it. Will I ever be?