How many

T
    E
        A
            R
                S
                   ago

                           Did I say I'd stop crying?

Ravaging through me
    is an untold destiny
I cannot foresee
      what's gonna happen
But I know what I need
       I need love
It keeps escaping me
            I'm lonely
   I cry constantly
I can't write anything
        Cause I can feel my soul breaking
    I've lost everything
      my heart keeps breaking
I really don't want any pity
   I'm truly not deserving
but my God does this hurt like hell
      I'd just like for one good thing
to happen to me
        SOMETHING
ANYTHING
cause I can't handle losing
    One more thing
   everything I care about
has been stolen from me
     a string of bad luck
Doesn't even begin to describe
   the agony that surrounds me
I'm desperate for something
      GOOD.... PLEASE
I'm asking Fate
    the Universe
Karma
        God
Mother Nature
     Anyone Please
Whoever is making my life filled
      with misery
I'm begging you
          PLEASE
   I can't handle anymore
You've officially brought me
       to my knees
I've cast my pride aside
        all dignity has left
I'm BEGGING
      PLEADING
        Please
Just finally let me be happy



I think I've forgotten
     what happiness feels like

Silence obliterates the mind
Frees those trapped inside
Sing a little tune
Fly me to the moon
Kidnapping the demons isn't a crime

Aimed expressions of love or hate
Feelings mutual or not are still great
Don't say my name
This isn't a game
I learned the rules a little too late

Time after time again I fail
Missing the hammer with a nail
Yet I cannot cry
And I will not die
I still have to tell my fearsome tale

Starting with rage, ending with peace
It's not a long story in the least
I learned a way
To live through the pain
And hide the mind of my inner beast

Thoughts
           Mingling
Brain
           Tingling
Disturbance
           in
             the
                force

          *Who cares?

He says, "you're my best friend"
And kisses her lightly on the cheek
She truly just can't help herself
But her knees collapse as they go weak
He catches her before she hits the ground
His face grows worried and he asks if she's alright
She just stares into his eyes, not making a sound
She can't help but notice how his hands feel so right
Leaning into him, she heaves a heavy sigh
Thinking to herself, "why oh why?"
Suddenly, sparks light up his eyes
Like lightning, he finally realized
She is his rock, where he can constantly lean
When he's feeling weak
His strength and shelter through the storms
This beautiful Angel, sent to keep his heart warm
Suddenly, her mouth is on his
A first and most joyous kiss
He knows now, she's wanted this all along
She folds herself in his arms, finding comfort where she belongs
He pulls back and softly whispers in her ear
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She stares lovingly into his eyes, deep into his soul
*"I never thought you'd believe."

There's no satisfaction
In the pain
That courses through me
There's no enjoyment
In the happiness
That in your eyes
I can see
There's no love
In my heart
That breaks daily
There's no one
In my life
That I can see
There's no hope
In my future
That will show mercy
There's nothing
Left in this world
That can make me **happy

The smoke is clouding my vision of you
          You're starting to become less clear
              I feel you fading away
       You're voice I can no longer hear
A nightmare I can't wake up from
        Endlessly chased by demons
                It's Scary
       You used to rescue me
Now I'm drowning in the deep sea
        And there's no one here for me
                  Someone Save Me
       I lay here kicking and screaming
Wake me up from this dream
        I want to come back to reality
              There's gotta be more than this
      This nightmare, this dream
Where you're no longer here to help me
      Just make it all go away
              End My Suffering
      Right now, today, in this place
I'm dying, it's happening
         This is my fall from Grace
               *Someone Save Me

That headstone
The name unclear
It seems familiar
A graveyard full
So many faces
So many lies
Loves and lives
Lost to betrayal
Secrets and deception
So cryptic
Charms and words
So poetic
Manipulation
At its finest
Now....
Let's be honest
Death is the end
And until then
We live
We love
Staring at headstones
Until it's our name
Someone else is
Staring at
A name unclear
Yet familiar...

Rain crashes over me in waves
             Downing me in sorrow
       But it's not water, it's tears
Filling up the empty places
                    In my soul
  And a heart I didn't know I had

    Blasphemy! Dry those tears!
That kinda thing ain't needed hear!
                    You're strong,
             You're beautiful,
                      You're smart
   Wipe away those pesky things
      And listen to your heart.

           But I can't breathe,
      I'm shaking violently
   As the flood surrounds me.
           How can I escape?
  How could I just wipe them away?
      I'm weak, I'm dumb, I'm ugly
                  Can't you see?
The tears of sorrow are here to stay.

     You are what I say
           And you know it's true.
What's gotten into you?
   No man or thing is worth a single drop
Let alone, a downpour that could drown you
       All this madness has to stop
                I could help you
      If you do what I tell you to.

There's no help for me,
          My chest is overflowing
    With tears, rotten flowers,
            And dark, ***** shadows.
      The past is within me,
    I can't seem to forget or let it go.
          There's no point to the argument,
     I've already given up hope
You're just the part of me that
          Refuses to believe that's so


             **~ To Be Continued ~

A bell rings in the distance
I hear but don't see
The past calls out
But I cannot answer
I'm speechless
So much at stake
Yet I can do nothing
Frozen in space
Surrounded by everything
All my senses alive
I still cannot move
Yet...  
The bell continues to ring
And I can still hear it's melody
All the while...
I'm not moving

This uncertainty
How you feel for me
Honestly, I'm dying inside
It's not right
So now I write and write
And listen to you talk,
About her, about it all,
And it pains me to hear it
About all the crazy *******
But I'm here,  I'll hear anything
Selflessly listening
Being the shoulder, the rock in which you lean
And it remains to be seen
Which direction in life you'll take
Just keep in mind, no matter the road you find yourself on,  
In my eyes you'll never be gone,
There will always be a shortcut, an easy path back
Just get up,  brush yourself off
Take the first few steps in my direction,  
When you get close enough,  
The shadow in the distance will show true perfection