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May 14 · 376
Purpose
I always wondered
What is the purpose?
All the written words
An expression of oneself
On a piece of paper
Dotted in black ink
Which makes me feel better
But if often leaves me wondering
What is the purpose?
Maybe a collection of memories
Of what once was
Something important for me
Maybe I know the actual purpose
It is a place for me to heal
No more wearing any mask
And express what I truly feel
Dec 2022 · 1.2k
One Day
They tell me one day
I would know what it feels like
They tell me one day
I will finally get it right

They tell me one day
I would find my own happiness
They tell me one day
I will get out of this phase

But one day seems far away
As the seasons keep changing
But one day seems far away
Because I still feel very lonely

But one day seems far away
As my mind taunts and belittles me
But one day seems far away
As a reason for me to live
Dec 2022 · 706
How do I say?
How do I say I love you?
When everything is at stake
How can someone be true?
Knowing it could bring heartache
How to get rid of this fear?
Thinking rejection is on its way
How can I say I love you?
Not knowing if you would say it back
Fear of expression
Nov 2022 · 138
As I grow Old
As I grow old
How excited I was for freedom
Finally walking out the door
As I grow old
I bid farewell to my friends
As we took our own course
As I grow old
I have met new people
That were quite different
As I grow old
I fell in love with a girl
But got my heart broken
As I grow old
The people I used to know
Turned into another stranger
As I grow old
I am used to being alone
Without care from any other
It's a lonely journey
Nov 2022 · 274
Struggle
It happens almost every night
Especially when I am alone
This battle I am having inside
Is slowly ripping apart my soul
I lay in bed but I am wide awake
Trying my best to fall asleep
But the problem is this heartache
That I could feel in so deep
I try to calm myself down
But I still have this struggle
When no one is around
Is the beginning of my battle
Alone in my thoughts and the struggle
Oct 2022 · 302
Play Thing
Am I your play thing?
An object for entertainment?
When you have nothing
That brings you any amusement?
You call only when you need
But when you are happy
You packed your bags and leave
Without thinking about me
Left me out in the cold
Making me blame myself
Tormenting my own soul
Thinking I am not worthy of love
A toy that is I
Oct 2022 · 413
If Love Was Easy
If only it was easy to say how you feel
Without worrying about the consequences
For these words that I have yield
Would make or break both our bridges
I have been lying to my own dear heart
That I am not a man in love
But these lies are tearing me apart
As I know what we are now is not enough
Would you fear for what I have to say?
If I came down and ask for your hand?
That I am yours until the end of days
If you are willing to accept this man
For his heart has never shifted
The moment he laid his eyes on you
I promise this time it would not hurt
For this love I promise you is true
I still have this fear but I can't lie to my heart about what I'm feeling
Jul 2022 · 800
Thoughts
Here I am at this hour
Trying to rest my tired eyes
Tuck myself under the covers
With my eyelids shuts tight
But these never ending thoughts
Kept me awake from my slumber
These thoughts that never stop
Always makes my mind wonder
Throwing me in scenarios
What I thought would turn out
If we did not walk out the door
Where we did not break our vows
A thought were we were happy
One where we never fought
But there is no more you and me
What is left are just my own thoughts
Late night thoughts
Jun 2022 · 249
A good day
A good day
It could be the day you win the lottery
Or a day when you finished your studies
Could be the day you got your first car
But for me this is that kind of day
Having you right here laying next to me
In the field as we look at the stars
Now that is a good day indeed
May 2022 · 212
Tear
Love is so confusing
You can love someone
Without them loving you back
And no matter how much it hurts
Your mind still won't change
Why is it hard to bury those feelings?
That have you spent your every tear
In the middle of the night
Why waste another minute
Thinking it could work
When you already know
That they have made up their minds
And they chose a path
Where they leave you behind
I don't know
Feb 2022 · 760
A Rest Stop
Come on I will give you a tour
A place where people have been before
A place where people come and go
People came in and said hello
Promise that they are more
Only to leave a note by the door
Saying that they have to go
And that they don't need me anymore
My heart, like a rest stop is just a shelter for a short while
Aug 2021 · 1.4k
Farewell
It's weird how you could read the pages
Of another person's life through their ages
You browse through and find yourself
Mentioned in a few of their chapters
You find a collection of memories
That could remain for all eternity
But like all books it will come to an end
As the person draws their last breath
They will reach the end of their tale
It will be time for you to bid them farewell
Being able to know a person and their story will make it harder for you to tell them goodbye although it's their time
May 2021 · 568
Let me sleep
Hi its me again
Yes the one that hears your pain
Had a tough week?
Minds restless and could not sleep

Maybe music could help
Makes you reflect pieces of yourself
Don't wander into the void
Into the emptiness of a world destroyed

Calm your nerves down
Praying, crying, hoping it will turn around
Now slowly drift away
Into a dream and keep your demons at bay
Demons of the past caught up
Nov 2020 · 307
Red Backpack
I could still remember it
When our eyes first met
You were covered in black
From your head to your toe
Apart from your red backpack
And your pure white soul

Your smile forever carved in memory
Your voice is the sweetest of melody
You wished your eyes were sky blue
But black seems more fitting for you
I always felt that I was the lucky guy
To have met you as I was passing by

The most beautiful girl I have seen
More than I could ever dream
Some people think you are a goddess
But you have always been modest
Telling that you are a normal person
When clearly you are different

Like the red backpack that stood out
You were different from the crowd
These signs were all enough
To know I have fallen in love
Gave my heart with no regrets
To the girl with the red backpack
To have fallen in love
Oct 2020 · 173
Don't Leave
Help Me!
I am screaning inside
The pain that I hide
For all this while
Is messing with my mind
It comes on a certain time
And all I could do is cry
Save me!
From all of this thoughts
Feelings I have caught
The pain that I have fought
Cast in certain doubts
My mind screaming out loud
My heart trying to find a way out
Leave Me!
If the feelings have changed
Through these passing days
Let us both become estrange
Only to look in a glance
Never to hold hands
Never to speak again
Sep 2020 · 145
Footprints
People leave traces
Like footprints on the shore
Memories that come and go
Of fimiliar faces
Now seems so foreign
What used to be constant
Is now left as a remnant
As we kept our distances
Hoping that like footprints
The sea will clear all of it
As the waves hits the sand
Only to find out
That the footprints still remains
People leave such impact in our lives and eventhough we try to forget
Sep 2020 · 191
Quarter of a lifetime
A quarter of a lifetime
Are all of the years
That I have lived
The word goodbye
And all of the tears
Aching with no relief
Remembering the smiles
Laughters that I hear
Is something I would miss
And yet all those moments
Frozen forever in time
Are for mine to keep
But never to relive again
a quarter of a lifetime
Jul 2020 · 116
Smitten
I was worried for myself
The moment I had my eyes on you
I knew what I have felt
There was nothing much I can do
Because it was too late
My heart was smitten for you
Feb 2020 · 134
Memory
If there was a way
Would you still love me?
Would you still care?
At the end of the day?

I ask myself a lot
If what we felt was real
Keeps playing in my thoughts
Though our fates are sealed

It is the end of the road
But I appreciate the journey
Even if it's hard to let go
Us is my favourite memory
Memory
Feb 2020 · 111
Truth
The was a part of me inside
I knew that was going on
That someday you might
Prove that I was wrong

I wanted to believe in you
But the truth speaks
Secrets I never knew
Horrors I would never believed

I thought it was real
The bond that we made
This act made my mind ill
Thinking of your mistake

I hope you thought this through
Knowing it made me suffer
For having faith in you
Thinking you were better

But I have come to realise
The moment I left you behind
With all of your lies
Peace came into my mind
Sometimes you got to let go and face the music
Jan 2020 · 441
Chasing
Chasing you is like chasing the stars
I am sure that I would never reach
Chasing you is like chasing a dream
You would be gone once my alarm rings
Chasing you is like chasing shadows
You are there but I could never hold
Oct 2019 · 160
Dear Self
Hello
Might be the start of our conversation
Please pay close attention and listen
For now the version of you is different
Because your past self would be proud
Those sunny days were covered by clouds
With total uncertainty which cast doubts
Remember those times you got mad?
Or the time you cried when you were sad?
Only to take for granted for what you had
I hope you learn from your past mistakes
Which could affect the choices you make
Hopefully better choices for your own sake
Because the secret to true happiness
Is when you learn to love your own self.
Jun 2019 · 241
Words
I remember someone said
Words don't come easy
But words are all in my head
Though it is hard for me to say it
I have exchange words before
It was surprisingly easy
But when it came to you
My tongue is tied
I'm lost for words
Now I understand why
Words don't come easy
Especially saying it to a person you love
Words
Jun 2019 · 171
Goodbye
Everything must come to an end
Though I never hoped it be this way
Slowly letting go of your hands
But my heart just wants to stay
Your eyes looking straight to mine
Burying your feelings deep inside
I heard you said the word goodbye
And I knew a part of me just died
Goodbye
May 2019 · 2.8k
Procrastination
Procrastination
Is some kind of action
Which needs no talent
Nor does it need passion
Procrastination
Time is always delayed
Meetings are always postponed
It gets nothing accomplished
Procrastination
The silent thief of time
Leaves no trace nor sign
In the end you'll fall behind
I do tend to procrastinate
May 2019 · 277
Sick of Being
I have express the truth
In written paper for all to read
A poem about my youth
Where I chose want instead of a need
When I was learning about love
Pain was what came to me
Mistakes were my companion
Failure was my given title
It was difficult to learn from my lesson
But I'll try as long as I'm able
To strive through all the hardships
That comes into my way
With problems that I bury deep
I still smile at the end of the day
So people won't see that I'm scared
So people won't see that I am weak
But the screams in my own head
Thoughts that are an ocean deep
Would always come and haunt me
Kick me down from where I stand
Who would care for me
A man who is always sick
I hope one day I will meet
A person who would stand by me
For I am sick of being me
All lonely, fragile and weak
My life of being sick, knowing I'm a troublesome and burden to everyone around but trying my best to be strong
May 2019 · 210
Mine
When our eyes intertwine
And our hands held tight
I thank god that you're mine
Does not take much, I appreciate you
May 2019 · 298
Traveller
I was amazed
By different countries
And their different states

I'd hop on a plane
Hitch a car or ride a bike
To be on a different land

I'd see architecture
that took my breath away
Made me hungry for more

I have tasted food
Different from my own
By different cooks

I would take photos
So whenever I am away
The memories won't be lost
My take as a traveller, the world is beautiful
Mar 2019 · 323
Simple
You don't know how simple it was
To have fallen for an angel like you
All it took was one of your touch
And you were in my mind on a loop
I kept thinking about you all day
I had doubts about you every nights
If the words I would choose to say
Would it make you leave my side?
Or those words would make you stay
By my side until the end of time?
You made it so easy but controlling these emotions were hard
Mar 2019 · 308
3 harsh words
You said we could do it all together
Or was it only I who remembered?
That night in the middle of October
When you told me that I mattered
But for how long will I be that person?
Before you choose to leave me behind
But as I expected the situation worsen
And soon you left these arms of mine
How I wished the time could turn back
Maybe I could fix what was broken
Or even stop it from the day we met
To stop the words from being spoken
Those three words aren't enough
Mar 2019 · 274
Aging
Remember when you were a kid and all you wanted to was age up? You wished for it every year as you ascend and it never stopped.

You grew physically and mentally as the years pass you by. You started seeing the extraordinary parts of your life.

But everything great must come to an end. Sooner or later you will learn one of life's greatest lesson which is pain.

Pain that could cause by a heart break or the passing of a friend. Thinking it would stop if only your life would end.

And at that point you start to wonder
how did it get complicated? All these complications and test was never what you wanted.

Then you sat there alone thinking why would you grow old? To only face the harshness of life that weakens your soul.
Aging is never that great. it we learn in time so we could be great
Mar 2019 · 308
Just One Night
I remembered your lovely eyes
Oh how those pair twinkle
Brighter than the stars at night
Falling for it seemed simple

Whisper me sweet nothings
Love as sweet as honey
Tonight I get rid of my sorrows
And I will regret it tomorrow

All those feelings I have caught
Just by our little conversations
Love was not what you sought
You just needed a companion

To heal all of your wounds
You don't really need me
Even if I gave you the moon
You would still choose to leave
Sometimes people just tend to heal themselves without realizing that they have broken another persons heart
Feb 2019 · 252
Lonely
Have you ever felt alone?
Even in a crowded room?
Even with your friends
On a Sunday afternoon?
Even with your family
At one of those gatherings?
Why is there a certain void inside
Only darkness with no shed of light
Is this what it means to be lonely?
Cause I felt it most parts of my life
Alone
Jan 2019 · 486
We Are All Different
We are all different
But in your eyes we are the same
We went through great days
We all bear the same pain
But if you think in such a way
Then you never knew what it is like
To starve on a cold morning
Or sleep by the roadside at night
To bear the sickness that is within
Because you can't afford medicine
Yes we are all different
So never assume it has been easy for all
Today you may rise above others
But mark these words
Someday eventually you will fall
Jan 2019 · 224
Words and Promises
The exchange of words by both
I have taken some as oaths
I lay down my own demons
To honor the words spoken
May this feeling bound us
Taking us to certain places
May you also honor your words
So this feeling won't be a curse
This feeling could embrace us both
Started out with a word called love
Words and promises
Dec 2018 · 419
The Green City
Take me back to the green city
Where the concrete jungle exist
Surrounded by flowers and trees
Breathe in the fresh air
Let go the feeling of despair
Forget the memories that was grim
Just pretend that it was a dream
Life is much better than it seems
Behind these walls of concrete
Is one of the most beautiful places
That your eyes have ever seen
Green City is where I need to go
Dec 2018 · 287
Paradise
I dreamed a day to be away
From the bustling city noise
And from the faces of despair
I wished the car I've driven
Would take me to the coast
Instead of my office in the city
Where I could walk by the sand
Hear the waves crashing on the land
Feel the breeze of the wind
The breathe the fresh air
To have a moment in paradise
Need to get away
Dec 2018 · 386
Memory
Beneath the thousand stars
And the lonely moon
A moment I wish could've last
Lying on the sand next to you
You with those crimson red lips
And eyes colored of the ocean blue
With sound of waves crashing through
I could lie forever with you
And in those quiet moments together
I have dreamt my future with you
With a little house and picket fences
Maybe with a child or perhaps two
I would have taken my chances
Just to have a life with you
But at the end of the day we knew
That this wildest dream
Could have never come true
For you were forced by your father
To be the wife of another
And here I am still thinking about
The thousand stars by the beach
Those quiet nights that I truly miss
Laying on the sand right next to you
But now I am lonely just like the moon
Sometimes that's the only thing we could hold onto when we have to let something or somebody walk out of our door
Nov 2018 · 325
Thinking of you
How could I get through the nights?
Whenever I close my eyes
I'll be thinking of you the whole time
It makes me restless
Nov 2018 · 342
Past Love
I remember how I felt that night
As I packed my things for home
Can't wait to have you in my sight
Can't wait to tell you over the phone
Never have I ever felt this excited
After all this time it was gonna be you
I thought with you is a new beginning
Another chapter unveiling slowly
But it turns like any other good book
The plot has its own unexpected twist
For in your heart there was another
All the time you had a secret lover
The promises we made just disappear
I remember how mad I was at myself
Falling in love for someone like you
You turned out to be a waste of time
But we both never said our goodbyes
We just drifted apart like strangers
Forgotten feelings for each other
Maybe it is the perfect ending
Me trying to wash away the feelings
Trying to forget all of those times
Where I thought to have a fresh start
But it turns out you were the one
Who tore my whole world apart
Memories both bad and good but it ended badly for me
Nov 2018 · 466
Anton
Anton is no stranger on being late
No matter the time nor the date
Whenever you have made plans
Anton will arrive as late as he can
Not familiar with the concept of time
Does not bother to even try
The only day that he will be on time
Probably be the day that Anton dies
Anton is a word in my local state to refer as a person who is always late
Nov 2018 · 330
100
100
I remember telling everyone
I would live until I am a hundred
I would keep each moments
I would keep each of the smiles
I would keep each of the words
That only gave me positive vibes
I would remember the lonely nights
And the tears that I have cried
I would take them as a lesson
To value myself first before others
I would be wiser in the next lifetime
If I was given a chance to live again
Then maybe things would get better Pieces of my heart won't be cluttered
If I could just took what I've learn
From my life that I lived in a hundred
100 years
Oct 2018 · 407
Drifting thoughts
I have cared for the one's who would not care for me. I always wondered if it was all my fault. Though I was left alone with no reasons so I have decided the mistakes are my own. I could not think of reasons of why people should stay. Why should a fool like me deserved to be loved anyway? I am broken and there's no hope in fixing me. Let people just remember me as part of their history.  But I do hope even though they left, I have once made them happy. For their time was short but it made a difference to me. I hope you understand what you meant to me even though I meant nothing much to you.
In fear of losing people but still being the one who gets left behind so maybe it's me
Oct 2018 · 524
Poetry
A world where it does not matter
All you need is your pen and paper
Where words are crafted into beauty
Where you expose your own honesty
Writing out what you bottled up
Writing the contents of your heart
Hoping there's someone out there
That they are feeling the same way
To tell them that they are not alone
And let the poetry ease their pain
My thoughts on reading poetry
Sep 2018 · 465
It Was Different
I used to see you in a different light
We would do all things together
You would always be by my side
You said you would be there forever
I believed in what you've said
I took every word as a promise
But for my mistakes I have paid
For I have never felt pain like this
The aching heart that never stops
But I still think of you everyday
No matter how much I've lost
I still see you in the same way
No matter if you've hurt me the most
Maybe it was I who was different
Sep 2018 · 309
Dream
It was all like a dream
When you were beside me
Whisper of your words
Lingers from your mouth
Those words that I heard
When you spoke of love
How my heart pounded
Thinking this is the moment
Though it was not about me
It was about him
The guy who stole your heart
And left me with a broken heart
It felt great and then it went for the ****
Aug 2018 · 581
Silence
Why is it so hard to speak?
The words that I want
Whenever you are around
I wish I could speak
But suddenly I'm lost for words
It won't come out of my mouth
So all I could to was adore you
Every single day in total silence
I can't find the words whenever you're around but I scream at them all night just so that I could have my tongue tied when I see you
Jul 2018 · 471
I am trying
I am breaking deep down
Though I never show it
I am breaking deep down
I'm happy but slowly dying
I tried my best to move on
But the memories stayed
I tried my best to move on
But my feelings still remains
I swear I am trying
To get you out of my heart
I swear I am trying
Not to let myself fall apart
Never been easy
Jun 2018 · 216
Untitled
It never had been easy
To have patience in your heart
Jun 2018 · 679
Compare
Everything felt like a competition
I felt like I was not appreciated
I gave up on having your attention
Cause maybe to you I didn't matter
To you I should've pushed harder
I should've been much better
I lived life knowing I was not enough
Always know that I will never be
Cause at the end of the day
You'd point out somebody else
And you would always say
That person is far better than me
Sometimes it does not motivate you cause at one point you'll break knowing you're not good enough
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