Tears down my face
that scream "I miss you,"
scratching the sheets
on your side of the bed,
reaching
reaching
reaching to hold on
but i'm kept awake
coughing up emptiness
tossing and turning
tossing and turning
forcing some sort of
hyperventilation
in an attempt to breathe.

As my heart beats slow back
to what I assume is normal
I catch my breath and repeat
"Inhale, exhale
Inhale, exhale
everything is okay."
And if it's not right now,
it will be.
The tears now whisper
a quiet and deep "I miss you"
as they trace down
the crevice of my lips
where I can only hope
that your mouth will meet me
when we're ready
back on your side of the bed.

When you can't even write
because the tears are louder
than
any combination of words
will ever be able to express

I remember the first time I saw you
perfect in all of your ways and
the feeling of your hands with mine
laced, intertwined
I wanted nothing more
but to make you mine

Scared, terrified as time excelled
the more I got to know you
the harder I fell

I didn't understand, I couldn't express
that when you're at your worst
i still think you're at your best
you're grays shine in glitter
and your sunrays are always bright
I accept you completely
in darkness and in light

No pressure, no rush
I respect you and us
You're flaws to me
are beautiful fairy dust

I am sorry, from the bottom of my being
for any nonsense i left you feeling
and as we both got hurt
we took this time apart
to mend each other
to mend our heart

In this process,
this dance of life,
I choose to show you
acceptance and love
through happiness and strife

If my sorry is not enough
I know my actions can be instead
I ask my heart where to go
and to you I am led

Still scary, still terrifying  
but I accept responsibility for the past
I trust in this love
and will do anything to make it last

Some say forever is impossible
with us I believe that is not the case
You will forever be the only person
that my hands with lace

I didn't believe it this time.
I was so scared of the past
that
when it was in the palm of my hands
I was too scared thinking
again it wouldn't last.

So I pushed away the fear
and in the process you flew
having a more clear vision
I now see things anew.

I didn't quite understand
I didn't believe,
but now my mind has changed
we will beat the odds, we will acheive

Take your time please,
but when you're ready take my hand
I will show you love and acceptance
I will keep you safe when you land

The pain lingers like
blisters on the bottom of your foot
after walking around Disneyland all day

Where all the memories are beautiful,
but that hurt stays with you
everywhere you go

You know that everything is going to be okay
and the next ride will make you forget
how badly it hurts

But until that next ride you walk the park,
so happy you get to be there,
yet holding in the tears

And as much as the pain has your attention
it was still your most memorable time,
and you would do it all over again

Drug me
with your strongest dose of addictions,
between the spaces of our future sins
I embrace
every adventure behind closed doors
as long as mine is embedded in yours
I feel safe
and anxious at the same time
not physically mine
However
for that moment we unite
intertwined, tight
Unbreakable
strength within the space
adrenaline you can’t replace
This feeling
even in absence of time
rough yet smooth, each line
Overlaps my own
and I search to caress the inside
skimming sweat from both sides
It's okay,
slowly caressing my protection
merely fit to perfection
I’m addicted
to the movement, and touch
overwhelming rush
Of serenity, and flutter
nowhere else I’d rather be
you drugged me

and lately i've been
excited to sleep
close me eyes
ready to dream,
for it is the only place
i can still be with you

and then i close my eyes to sleep
and turn my body towards
your side of the bed where
i put my arms around you
taste the sweetness of your lips
legs intertwined, transmorgified
the way our hips align
into one,
one more time
one more time i get
one more time i get to be with you
one more time i get to
feel what your body
feels next to mine
only to wake to
you no longer
being there

The fight to inhale... the exhale, shaking
Deep repulsions, body aching.
No words to express the impact I’m taking
Having to accept that there are no more “memories in the making.”

Meaningless words that once caressed my ear lay scattered in pieces in a hidden chest
Put away memories of when those words weren’t meaningless.

Destroyer ! - Unexplained reasons of why you left me for her.
A wanted explanation but there’s no comparison to set us in
Lessons learned and “forgotten,” but really stored in another bin.

Winds stronger than the fight,
the water has no meaning but to take you one way
and let me drown.
I surrender my every emotion to the waves drifting
Attempts of catching my breath,
head barely lifting
I’m hit.
And as I’m tossed and turned I learned
it was time to turn and toss away
everything in me that was once my everything
Yet for some reason you still seem to be walking the shore just fine...

Remind me.
These are more than just memories, even the ones I can’t remember!
I may look like your weakest contender,
but you’ll never see someone fight against tide
like I have.
Finding my way to the shoreline, soaked head to toe
Drenched and shivering in remaining fears and unregretted hurt,
unable to solve the mystery of why we didn’t work.

I’ll leave the memories in the mystery and forgive all crimes,
I’m busy making new memories along my own shoreline.

I keep the smile on my face through the day
replaying memories of you and I
laughing, holding one another,
loving, loving, loving
each other.

I am holding on the memories though the day
but there are some moments that I
can't explain the sadness I feel
missing, missing, missing,
each other.

It's an understatement to tell you that you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen
Don't take this wrong, by these words I mean
There simply is no combination of 26 letters I could put together to attempt to measure your infinite beauty.

I close my eyes to picture the sunshine caressing your body through your windowsill
kissing you as lightly as the morning rays,
dancing upon the traces of your lips in sweet 'I love yous'
my gentle hands glide across your sleepy skin

Looking for my morning cup of coffee
I press my lips firmly onto you.
Slow sip,
lighting tingling my bottom lip, I go back for more
Big sip,
this hot sensation awakes every particle of my being
the sugar rushes
heart races
craving more with each sip
I continue to wake myself
in what's left of the mint chapstick
you put on before bed

breathe in, i whispered
feel me surrender, as i melt
i tremble into the crevice of your limbs
morphing into your chest
my ears tingle
my neck hairs rise
i close my eyes
to your every heartbeat,
my sweetest melody

and baby,
i will never forget the lyrics
to that song,
our song
that only we will dance to

do you remember?
where every note i pull you close
where every beat i kiss your lips
where every pulse i feel your heart

sometimes we dance,
where every two steps
we both spin in circles
around, and around,
dizzy, unplaced

those two steps away
confused, misplaced
alone, with others,
yet those two steps are okay
because eventually
those two steps
lead us back to dance

our way.

When you have so much to say
that nothing will come out
and the tears are there
but not falling
and the stomach is in knots
but still crawling
to make something come out
because you have so much to say.

Until then... I'll be here waiting
Until then... I'll be here missing you

I will wait for you.
For you, I will wait.
Wait, I will for you.
You, I will wait for.
I will wait for you.