I keep saying someday,
but what I really mean is never.

I'll never do that thing,
or go that place.

It's not a lack of aspiration
It's just knowing who I am
and who I'll always be.

Average,
and this may surprise some
but it's okay to be average.

If everyone was special,
technically no one would really be special.

rip me to threads
but relatively speaking
you'll never destroy me
because I('m) matter


Punny.

in seven years my skin
will finally have lost the sensation of your touch
it will forget how you felt
and how it misses you so much

in seven years my name will have changed
and you'll have given someone else yours
and i won't remember what it felt like
or why your name is scribbled in the back of my drawer

in seven years i'll look back
and it won't be to remember
you.

feeling like a cigarette
when it hits the pavement

I knew that it was over.
Because when I looked at him I realized,
That I was much more in love with our memories
Than I was with the person standing in front of me.

See me like you see the trees
strong, tall and calm
Or like you see lighting bugs
effervescent, full of light
I see you like Thursday afternoon
Mid day sun and a full appetite
Let me feed you,
Like you feed me,
Soft words and candlelight.

I lost myself
In time and space.
I love the hunt
But hate the chase.
I'm missing her
She's far away.
I beg her
She will not stay.
In the mirror
She laughs at me.
Reminding me
I'm a catastrophe.

I dream of cities I have never been to,
And I dream of faces I have never seen.
I dream of memories I've never made,
And I dream of words I have never heard.
I dream of feelings I've never felt,
And I dream of foods I've never tasted.

I dream of adventures I've never had,
And I dream of you.

My parents kept me from girls like you
You had clothes that were too tight and hair too straight
My parents kept me from girls like you
Your eyes full of light and you stayed out too late

My parents said "Those girls aren't fit to wed"
You had dyed hair and finger tips painted black
My parents said "Those girls aren't fit to wed"
Your legs were bare and you always talked back

My parents didn't like girls like you
You had faded tattoos and strawberry lipgloss
My parents didn't like girls like you
Your clothes smelled of boos and you perfected the hair toss

I always said hello to girls like you
You sneered at me and the laughs let loose
I always said hello to girls like you
Your eyes that never see and no sign of a truce

I can never be a girl like you

then you were gone
and for the first time in forever,
i felt
okay.

I come here sometimes,
I come in the middle of the night/mare.
I look through the doors, I remember the day/dreams.
I remember the day I left,

Corny rhymes and
****** poetry.
I wish you knew how much
you still mean to me.

When I close my eyes
I see your face,
smell your cologne
taste your lips
I open my eyes
you're still there,
you're everyone
you're everywhere
Why can't you
just leave me alone.

what more could you ******* want
have i not given all i have?

what happens when i have nothing left to give
and all that remains is a shell of a girl
with sad eyes and a hollow heart

then what?
will you leave?
taking everything i've ever given and throwing me
away
leaving nothing but scraps
and a stray dog to chew on my deteriorating shattered pieces

i hope you're happy
i'll be here
alone
but i hope you're happy

I want to say that loving You was like falling,
But that would be a lie.
I want to say that loving You was like losing my breath,
But that would be a lie too.

I will say that loving You was like stumbling,
Completely unsure if I would be caught.
I will say that loving You was like suffocating,
I couldn't seem to breathe at all.

I won't say that I regret loving you,
But I won't say that I'd try again.

Loving You

That pretty little pill that makes you feel so nice,
That pretty little pill that makes your heart like ice,
That pretty little pill that makes you numb and cold,
That pretty little pill that makes you feel young and old,
That pretty little pill in the bottle so yellow,
That pretty little pill that makes you so mellow,
That pretty little pill taken with a swallow of Jack,
That pretty little pill makes you never look back,
That pretty little pill in a count of 90,
When it runs out will you see what I see?

Drag me Down
Drug me up
I need you
I **** it up
You come back
You leave Again
I need you
I need you

every few days
my mother sends me a photo of my self
usually spanning around five years ago
when i was skinner
when i was prettier
when i was living a life she approved
she calls it
motivation.





So I'm going to see a physician about healthy habits and weight loss soon.
She's a good mom.

Treat me like a
Cigarette,
Dancing sparks
On the pavement.

Opaque window pane
Eyes see
Blurry renditions of Monet
Colors muddled
Broken glass reveals
True images
Far more beautiful than

Opaque window pane
Eyes see

I wish he could see me
Now.
I wish he could see me
Here.
I wish he could see me.

Now,
I hope he can forget me
Here,
I hope he can move on.

I love when you
sleep talk
And breathe heavy
on my chest
I love when you shiver
turning blankets into nests
And eyelashes fluttering
small birds taking flight
I love when you
sleep talk
And hold me close
at night

someday i'll come first to someone
I might just have to be that someone

Deadly rose hues blush her left cheek and bloom down her body like winter flowers
She sits in a corner
Darkness hugs her frail figure and crystal tears dry on her face like stalactites
She shudders at the sound of a door slamming
Desire to run freezes her body and she becomes more still than stagnant pond water
His tempered touch has left her fragile china body chipped and cracked
She is moments from breaking

Take me to Rome.
And then we can say "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."
But you already do as the Romans do, because you conquer me.

Take me to Paris.
And then we could learn how to correctly French kiss, and ironically eat French fries.
But then you'll look at the French girls and think "Could I conquer them?"

I'll reply with a passive request to go sight see.
I'll look at you and you'll look at them.
Then when we travel home, you'll settle and I'll smile.

When I touched you I felt your soul tickle mine
A breathy giggle
You had this smell, like a yellow-paged book and fresh hay
On a summer day
When I tasted you it was like spring water after a drought
Sweet and satisfying
You sounded like memories and the click of hooves on pavement
A sound never forgotten

When I saw you walk away and ours souls stretch and break
Could I ever forget the senses you overwhelmed

I wish I could be funny,
So you would laugh at me.
I know I am far from exceptional
and I really hate rhyming.
But this poem is for you,
and it is coming from me.
Well, coming from my heart,
to speak more specifically.
I know a heart is just an *****,
some ****** beating tissue.
But it's the only ***** I'd use,
to describe how much I miss you.
Like I said,
I hate rhyming.
So you better give me props,
Oh, by the way
I don't mind your smelly socks.

I could walk a tight rope across your collarbone and trapeze across your chest,
I would nestle in the crease of your elbow then escape down your forearm,
I can trace the veins in your wrist and read the future in your palms,
I will dance on your finger tips then tangle myself into the spaces between.

I want to take you to cities that you will never feel comfortable in.
I want you to clutch at my fingers like a weary child.
I want you to lose me in a crowd and realize that you could never lose me in life.
I want you to see me every time like it's the first time, and the last.

And when I leave?
I want you to long for my touch, for my taste, for my love.
I want you to smell me on your clothes, and see me in every shadow.
I want you to look at another lovers face and see my eyes.
I want you to shiver when you hear my name.

And only when want drives you to the edge, I want you to remember that I was never yours.

I sit here
Watching and Waiting
Waiting room music
Watching the crowd
If I sit here
Watching and Waiting
Waiting for you
Watching the clock
Then I see you
Watching and Waiting
Waiting for more
Watching my eyes
I must leave you
Watching and Waiting
Because I can't stand
Another Goodbye

You taste like cheap champagne
and summer time,
I miss the days
when our legs intertwined.
But now you're gone.
How are you now?
Does she make you happy?
Are you proud?

Flowers in her
Hair,
She dances in the
Rain,
A Princess of
Destruction,
Mud in her
veins.

Her time is running out,
She's running into brick.
If we don't help her soon,
Our young Princess
Might just
Slip.

I find shelter in your dreamy gaze
I find humor in your peculiar ways
Your laugh ignites a fire in me
Your love for the stars sets me free
The distance that divides us is so weak
The mountains we climb have no peak
Steady moving we make our way
Steady hearts forever stay

Namaste sister,
Namaste