I've been stuck in a rut
And sweet Jesus it *****
Like getting a ladybug shoved up your ****

I keep pulling rhymes out of my ***
Simply because my brain is made of glass
I usually write with more bite and sass

I'll be out of this rut one day soon
Maybe my poems will hit a huge boom
Or maybe I should leave my room?

Shine On You Crazy Diamond
reflect the lost purity in us all
Shine your bent light upon our damaged souls
Shine until we overload

i saw a rainbow in a diamond once
reflecting the colors underneath the sun
it was a truly haunting and beautiful sight

it spoke to me, it said, always keep shining, in brightest day
and in the blackest nights,
let no evil, hatred, love or hope ever escape your sight.

So shine on you crazy diamonds. shine on

A ****,

I'm a ****, not the kind that you smoke
Although honestly now I wouldn't mind a ****.
I grow around other plants, some mature some in bloom,
And I grow sapping precious resources
And bringing nothing but gloom

Now you may say, "Nero! You write and play guitar! Surely self love can't be removed from you that far!
Well if you're like me, blessed early on with the ability to read,
And a young but bright intellect that made my eyes bleed
It's not surprising after years of pressure and high standards
And demands now matter how i tried I couldn't meet
It's hard not to see why, I think of myself as a ****

Bloodlines.

Blood runs deep but some times family can reach to far I still carry inadequacy like simba being crushed by Scar,
It hurts to know that although you mean well you keep invading my space and judging my Life making me feel out of space around those that helped give me life.

It's like although we share DNA and features in the face you can't see passed that to my hearts black space,
It's like now I'm simply an eccentric freak to stare and laugh at,
You can't see the tears falling down each night you crafted and the spirit you've cracked

So thank you for all of that, the judgement, the pain and inner separation,
Thank you for self doubting my own destination,
But thank you most for stabbing me in the side,
I guess family isn't always right

Tales from the subway

When you think about it the subway is the best way to observe human life
You see people from all walks and skin tones getting to their destination
If you're like me occasionally you'll encounter the homeless and the visibly forsaken to that mentally ill lady in the last car, we love you dear just keep it down please
And the ***** hippies feeding bread to their dogs, you teach me to value clean
To the Chinese woman reading English aloud haltingly, you show us the reality of immigration
There's the young man with the daycare T-shirt, dispelling stereotypes, one stand at a time
Everyone is here, and everyone has a place
Here on the subway
Just make sure to grab a seat, because you're going on a mental journey
So many ideas, so many places to see, so many new things to learn and experience,
much thanks to that girl who brought out a new confidence in me,
It's plain to see I love the subway

Dream Machine

wouldn't it be nice if we humans possessed a device
to record dreams it seems like that would be nice
now I think about it I would be disturbed
that's my subconscious summed into a blurb
but I guess the real test is turning our dreams from nouns into verbs
It's a simple speech change, but one that alters life
I guess we don't enter the dream machine, because we're afraid of strife

So you got yourself a gun
Tell me something son
What do you think life will bring
That requires that kind of "protection"

So you got yourself a gun
What could occur
That will result in cold steel and hot lead
Creating burning pain and decaying flesh
Bodies overcrowding hospital beds

So you got yourself a gun
For hunting the less intelligent for sport
To hang pelts on your mantle
To brag about conquest as frivolous as the wax from a melted candle

So you got yourself a gun... What were you thinking of?

The ballad of Nero and Echo

This is the ballad of Nero and Echo two friends had met
In millennium park where we lay our scene
Yes I did make a Shakespearean reference
Not to do so would be obscene

So anyway the friends are by no means typical
Because they possess a talent that's lyrical
When two writers meet odd things happen
We talked with my notebook,

The very same I'm writing this in,
It's simply a few pages back
And though some have us as an OTP
I'm happy echo is my friend personally

So you really want to know
Why chivalry died?
Well the truth hurts dear reader
But to explain I deal shall try

Chivalry died because of a lack of appreciation from both sides
Of the spectrum it's like seeing a reflection of stupidity in thine eyes

Ladies it died because we failed to train up gentlemen, and the ones that very rarely are usually end up being simply friends,
Fellas we killed it to by not training up our sons
More often now the golden rule is look out for number one

So chivalry died a slow painful death,
From neglect from both sides,
Will it ever return again
I don't know when really... But I hope we try

Today I'm annoyed not because I'm perpetually unemployed or that I have all of the appeal of a penniless mayweather named Floyd. Anyway this sketch deals with the subject of skin debate, so if it's offense I create in your home please don't throw your phone

Lightskinned Vs. Darkskinned? What a ******* stupid debate
Seriously why debate about how much melatonin your skin creates? It's just pointless why Argue and divide a community that's already split up as it is...

but I'll finish here all of us follow different guidelines and were made differently designed so going for universal appeal is a pointless endeavor

I'd say that i love you, but I've forgotten what that is..
wait that sounds so cliche can we try again?
Okay let me breathe
eeep...ahhh

I'd say that i love you but i can't bring myself to try to love again
my hearts shattered and i have trouble even calling someone friend.
I'd tell you that you mean the world to me but then you'd fly away from my orbit,
I'd be a lonely planet once again, a more pathetic wretch than Norbit.

I'd say that nothing bad would happen while you're in my arms, but i'd be a lying ponce. i'm trapped by romantics and having to keep myself from being hurt with my stone heart. dark and void filled like an endless wormhole

She said she'd give me pleasure
she said her charms were life's greatest treasure
I got a different feeling
almost indescribable
a high like a kite, but energetic and kinetic
it was strange to experience both to remember and forget
what she brought to the table and did to my head
It wasn't psychedelic, but it wasn't reality based
I know I'm starting to sound like a head case
But Molly gave me a new lease
After I learned to fight a disease

All I've got

All I've got is a Sox Bear, my sketches and my guitars
I used to have dreams but those got repoed by the cops
I once was filled with childlike faith in other people
Now you can't trust half of who you see underneath a steeple

I used to be confident but then anxiety killed that, I'm trapped in a cage bullied by my own brain and that's a fact
Someone you see may have it all together but in reality it could be falling apart.
So always, always keep feelings of gratitude in thine heart

I saw the ***** in you
She walked out and said hello
She smacked me upside the head And almost ended me, like I was Macbeth or Cyrano

I saw the ***** in you
She looked me in the eyes
With a heart full of jealousy and lies
Took advantage of my emotions And left me drowning in a tear filled ocean

I saw the ***** in you, she was hard to find
The ***** that said I'm less of a man,
For breaking down to cry.

DelBear 3030, this ink abuse is for you
A silent guardian of my sanity that's got my baseball team on you too
You don't judge, you simply abide when I'm talking to myself in my room lost in Depression or feeling especially despised

Del, the Funky Sox Bear you're a friend who's seen me laugh, cry, write, create And destroy
You've seen me through almost all phases, you're more than a toy
A silent fuzzy diary, I couldn't ask for a better friend,
Del The Funky Sox Bear And Nero, White Sox until the end

Censored

You hate me don't you?
My brown skin ***** hair and long dxck intimidate, don't they?
You say we're violent but you don't see the fear in our eyes
You say "He was no Angel" when one of us dies.

You said Columbus discovered America when he pillaged and destroyed an entire culture
Then we were brought here, and slavery picked at us like the meanest vulture

You want to say it, but you don't want to alienate the people that were so long hung killed profiled enslaved and *****
I'm not stuck in the past I'm just sticking this pen up the *** of those who say racism has seen it's day

I wish I could say that. But like Alex Hayes we need to bring our roots back,
Study our history so it's never repeated,
That way, one day racism can be defeated

Sweet And sugary
tantalizing and tempting
I know I shouldn't eat it
but I can't resist

Licking and tasting
every sugary drop
I know it's bad for me
but I just can't stop

the forbidden is sweetest
when experienced with another
This is some great sorbet
what, you thought I was writing about something
other than sweets?

Cloth with colors on the front and sides
under which nationalism is disguised
In my eyes both flags have represented atrocities
the trail of tears, the destruction of a culture and the enslavement of another

But, society has changed significantly since then, we've gone through several wars, had protests, civil actions, and changes in law, so why can't we finally all just say we're different, but still friends?

Problem is hatred is still taught,
think about those nine people in a church that were shot.
9, caring people practicing their faith
were tragically killed because of indescribable hate.

now I'm all for knowing your roots, and being proud of where you're from.
but don't let that blind you to progression, away from the dark days of before

I'm Clay but I'm difficult to mold
you can't just shape to fit your perceived goal
you see my body but not what I keep locked in my soul
You can cut me open, bake me in an oven and attempt to sculpt me into your idea of perfection,
but I'll simply melt, or fall apart, it's like I'm a pile of clay with a scarred heart

I can't think of a name that will fit this poetically arranged rage,
well not rage but frustration
anyway let me get to the point
I'm sick of seeing everybody around me in love, it's like breaking my ribs and stabbing me in the chest with a disjointed
sense of envy and misguided sorrow, I keep trying to put a smile on so I can see another tomorrow

But every time I try I keep looking into my Facebook or YouTube and everybody is having the time of their life
Meanwhile mine, if you can call it that to begin with
Is shot in the foot and my hearts starting to split
Openly onto the page again I can't bear to see this within my soul anymore, I hang on to the fact that I don't know what's in store but it's breaking me open, like a petty thief,
Life you can be a cruel S.O.B. now let me write my own story

it's easy to forget I'm human isn't it?
I'm not ungrateful I just express my feelings differently
I often keep them to myself and when that doesn't work I'll lay then into a rhyming pattern that hopefully people read

so yes I'm weird as all get out and I don't think the way you do
I'm human or did you forget that fact too?
I guess its easy to forget that when you misread the ***** under my hat

okay let's get to the point
my brains become a highway for every even and odd point
from the meaning of life to my favorite cheese
it's a tornado of mozzarella and thoughts I can't hope to silence, without a psychology degree

It's weird when all thought cylinders fire up in the dead of night no matter how hard you try you can't find peace without knocking out your own lights

Why can't my neurons shut up so I can fall asleep
My brain is moving faster than doogie howser with his degree, Help me please!

Every rainstorm is a Symphony
really I'll name all of the parts
obviously the thunder is the percussion section
keeping rhythm at sporadic times
the raindrops on the streets and rooftops are hammering out the bass and melody lines
the howling wind is the vocalists all itching to amaze the crowd

The animals footsteps are applause scattered in awe at this odd beautiful composition
put together and arranged by nature
and performed by the stormy orchestra
That's why, every storm, at least to me
is one of nature's symphonies

It's one of life's oldest questions and it echoes throughout time
what's going on? what's the world's frame of mind?
three words that inspired a classic by Mr. Marvin Gaye,
What's going on, really what's happening today?

You'd think with all of the technological advances and societal changes we've made our lives as people would change but it seems we can still be as brutal as our ancestors who once dwelled in caves
We can still be as cold as the arctic
and venting our frustrations through social media is only so cathartic,

What's going on?
What's really going on today?
hopefully a revolution... because we need another major change

Obscured by this ornately designed day ****** covering
Is a damaged mind that's still recovering
A broken heart that's still recovering
Love, life, and friendship again
Behind this mask is a dead man that's been resurrected again

He is becoming a new
Without the mask he is no longer blue.
The old world behind him
His new world will find him
Without out this mask his light can shine through.....if you wanted to go that direction of like New life

Behind this mask memories pass straight through it's eyes
When you stare at it slowly your faith dies
The mask was the man's demise The mask is where the darkness will rise

The spell you cast took me by surprise
you hypnotized me with those come hither eyes

I wanted you, that feeling I couldn't give away
but in my head you took root, most likely to stay

I stayed to myself for awhile, that May have been a mistake
because now a lot of my attention you're starting to take


you're like a hip-hop song, smooth, flowing and classic
to pleasure you for the night, I'll take measures ever so drastic

Now I didn't wanna have to through you under the bus
but it's like now your heart is dead and you're living on sour spite and rotten pus
it's torturous to be so loved and hated the same time by my own family no less I guess that's why they say blood makes you related but loyalty is what makes us family it's sad to be the victim of your cruel jokes and biting sarcasm I can only take so much before my brain starts to spasm at this point I'd drop you into and endless chasm before ever even thinking about you again you hurt me too many to times to try to smooth things over with you again my friend go **** an egg and crack the shell then you'll know what you do to me everyday can't you tell I'm a different human being, I'm my own brand of crazy
what I call organization you call lazy

Oh how that woman looks so divine
we can honestly say she's aged like wine
how her lips would feel on mine
oh wondrous cougar so sleek and fine

I'd love to be that cougar's prey
oh how the thought would make my day
I'd be perfectly content being her toy
I'd always be a good little boy

I'm down for whatever is on the head
as long as we leave dents In the bed
oh how she looks so divine
that woman there who aged like wine

Secret Agent Orange!
Secret Agent Orange!
oh a gaseous concoction
designed for mental blockin!

the voices of those men beside me
that died are bothering me constantly
they keep on screaming why didn't I save them
they'll keep haunting ME until I'm in my grave but

Secret Agent Orange!
Secret Agent Orange!
oh a gaseous concoction
designed for mental blockin!

I keep hearing this odd ticking noise
but no one else seems to hear it
it's not a child playing with a toy
I can't put my finger near it

Secret Agent Orange!
Secret Agent Orange!
oh a gaseous concoction
designed for mental blockin!

I keep downing pills to end the pain
I keep dodging bullets disguised as rain
I think I've finally snapped of course
thanks to secret agent Orange

Secret Agent Orange!
Secret Agent Orange!
oh a gaseous concoction
designed for mental blockin!

I need a jolt
just to break away from
the mental exhaustion
that I keep giving myself
a long walk in the park
to keep my brain from falling apart
I keep getting anxious
I keep getting scared that I'll never get my life together
that'll I'll be another statistic outside in all weather.
I'm stuck in a rut
between getting better and doing what I seem to do best, ******* up.
it's crazy because I know where I need to be but not how to get there

it took me this long to admit it but I'm scared.
terrified of what life may or may not do yo me
shivering in my boots at the fact that I have to face reality.
I'm frightened okay?! I admit it I don't know what more I can do...
because more than anything, I just want to be myself without losing you...

Inspiration is a tricky mistress
one day she's laying down letting you having your way
the next she's up and whipping your chest
with a cat of nine tails
beating you into submission with little room for thoughts of poetry or tales.
So if you'll excuse my lack of writing dears I have a headache that could down Odin or Thor in one blow I have a headache THIS BIG and I can barely think straight so this won't sound as great as I may or may not intend dear friends
so inspiration hasn't struck
More accurately it's been beating my brains in all week
So I've.been gone for a little while hopefully I can create something unique

So you ripped my heart out of my chest
in a public area no ******* less
I'm hurt yeah, but I'm far from dead
so now I'm gonna **** with your head

That friend you have, the blonde with the curvy body
you may not know but I always thought she was a hottie
and before we met she actually told me she felt the same
So I called her up with fantasies untamed.

I took those pictures we took together then burned them on the beach,
I sold all the stuff I had bought you each and every jewellery piece,
And your friend? oh we ****** on your favorite sweater
so now until you wash it her ***** juices and smell will remain on it forever.

All the stuff we wanted to try? I did them all with her.
I tied her up, she did the same to me
and I caressed her every juicy curve.
At the office? oh yeah I ****** her at my desk,
you know the one thing we always wanted to try?
well I ravaged her at my desk, in front of my co-workers shocked and aroused eyes.

So thanks for breaking my heart you pitiful *****,
thank you for putting my dignity in a sling.
because I found out Over this week
is that revenge is a funny thing...

Gray and Gloomy
like this rainy day
is most likely how
my heart will stay

I keep wanting something
but I'm not sure what
to fill this void
occupied by tears of blood

I feel as an outcast
among my own people
most nights find me crying
underneath a steeple

So Gray and Gloomy
is how I'll stay
If somebody brought sunlight to me
Like a fool I'd push it away

Am I adjusting to the *****
that time brings along
Am I all out of hope
what am I doing wrong?

Each thought I think
gets stupider each time
my brain is starting to stink
from my rotten tired rhymes?

Have I reached my peak
has my slide begun?
should I end it now?
stop abusing ink?

Step 1 get money Step 2 repeat the first never get high on your own supply that'll buy you a hearse it hurts to have to hit the corner till dawn feed death to my people but I've never been underneath a steeple I couldn't afford the time only church I know is where I lay these rhymes I'll split the Indonesia with the dude who had a seizure I believe ya but the gat don't, so to insure my profits your brains will splat don't take it personal I'm just trying to survive until the sunrise I'm not legal but the streets always advertise I advise you to stay away from my path the ballad of a Hustler cut up into halves

They say that you make a difference in your life by changing who's around you if that's the case I've been replaced so often I'm like a lizard in a grotto,

I'm pretty sure everybody since 8th grade hates and probably would spit on my grave, maybe throw more dirt on my name it drives me insane like a kamikaze without a plane

I hate having insecurity, but it was nurtured into me like breast milk or shaved silk I'm a human contradiction like a stereotypical scot without a kilt.

I've been stabbed with the sword and kicked with the hilt I know how I'm built but my rhymes awaken my inner guilt, I'd poetically be dead but death is boring it's dull like Latin class left me snoring exploring for a new way to end the pain I'd probably drop shots but the alcohol will poison my brain

Feeling like a lost
Investment in times gone
No one fills the void

Duped into a large
Mental war against
Everyone including self

Some days I feel free
Others trapped, like a dog
Maybe I need help

Even my pride can't take
Being beaten badly
On the daily

Delete my history?
You can't start again so
Try to move on please!

Oh I would if this
Life would let me go to
Other things in life

Vicious are the hands of
Ever moving time it's
crazy how life shifts

I read once that none can be as cruel as an unthinking youth
and sad or to kinda be expected that's true
as we know, somewhat to much chagrin
young children will be brutally honest no matter what setting they're in.

Now, bullying is an American epidemic
so why would a parent add fuel to a fire that's already spreading?
why humiliate your offspring to get a point across
why take the heart of a child and harden what's malleable and soft?
I get it, when your child does wrong you have to correct
that's all well and good, but where's the limit set?

Like I stated earlier none can be as cruel as an unthinking youth,
so parents I ask, would you like that done to you?
Would you be okay with someone leaking every stupid decision you made on a worldwide platform?
Would you grin and bear it as more and more people treat you with unbridled and cruel scorn?
taunting remarks and biting stings that remind us of a simple truth
None can be as cruel as an unthinking youth

Okay I'm a guy
and thinking something positively about
my body is something I've never even tried!
Deep breath... Deep breath....
alright, maybe This'll be for the best

ahem

Okay now to think about my body in a positive manner
I'm not the best looking guy but I can clean up and look dapper
I have curly hair and some ******* up teeth
but embracing my flaws is the only way to get over my raging insecurity
I may get inked up soon
ideally on my birthday at high noon
yes I'm a guy and I'm not Charles atlas
but I'm taking my body off of my mental blacklist

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FINALLY THE WORLD IS MINE
IVE BEATEN ALL RESISTANCE INCLUDING DIVINE
SO FINALLY I CAN TAKE THIS EARTH SO PRIMITIVE
AND SHAPE IT THE WAY I SEE FIT

I'LL TAKE THE EIFFEL TOWER AND REMAKE IT AS A ROCKET
I'LL TAKE THE SOUTHWEST AND SINK IT SO THE SOIL CAN SOFTEN
THE WORLD NOW BOWS BEFORE MY BOOTED HEEL
SO I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL

I'LL DEMAND THAT THE POETS CORNER USERS COMMENT CONSTANTLY
WHETHER THE PIECE IS GOOD OR BAD CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS WELCOME YOU SEE
I'D VAPORIZE RUSH LIMBAUGH, I'D CRUSH BILL O'REILLY'S SPINE..

at least.. that's what I'd say If the world was mine

Can you be to me
what that baby blue blanket was to Linus, the younger brother of Lucy?
Can I meet someone I can hold and have all of my stress melt away?

I know this may seem weird but as cynical as I sometimes can be
there is a softer side to me
trust and believe not very many see this often
because in this crazy world you have to be strong, never soften.

It's still poetry
no matter how you deliver your message
if you can put your thoughts into a verse
then go ahead and put out your lyrical burst

It's still poetry
whether you freestyle or write spoken word
or limerick or acrostic, haiku or Shakespearean, your voice should be heard

It's still poetry
writing about experience or just testing your rhyming ability it's all fair game
just because one style doesn't speak to you doesn't make it all lame

**** now we're outside the bar
**** now we're in the car
**** now we're talking *****
**** this is gonna go far

**** now we're at your house
******* just threw off your blouse
**** now we're on the couch
**** now I'm ***** as a hyperactive mouse

**** your ***** tastes so good
**** your soft, ready for my wood
**** your so ******* tight!
this is probably gonna last all night

Hello Sun
you've come back around
after this harsh winter
to shine on down

Hello birds
you've come back from the south
from all the ducks and geese
to the common grouse

Hello trees
you're so bright and green
and.because of your pollen
you set off my allergies

Hello spring
you charming wily sod
you haven't changed that much
How long have you been gone?

Wandering soul innocent and free
You keep destroying the warrior inside of me
I try to harden and fight against the reaper
I sink into the dark abyss deeper
Still looking for a way out
I keep going down the wrong route
They think I'm not that strong
Those idiots are completely wrong
They killed me but death itself fears what it didn't know
The raging demon locked in my soul
I'll use this strength to punish the tormentors
Waiting for us to overstep our mentors
Living each day with horrar and pain
The darkness inside driving us insane
Trying to find what they call mosia...

You could tell a story with just five notes
a novel in a bent string
it wasn't the way Lucille spoke
but rather how you made her sing.

Heaven just got a little more bluesier
I bet it sounds great up there,
the sky is crying like Elmore said
sitting, talking, playing the blues without a care

He sang the blues because it's what he knew
not just because he was feeling blue
but telling stories that come from the soul
does more for most
like telling a life's story, with just three notes
So rest easy uncle, I hope to see you one day again.
say hello to Jimi, Stevie Ray and Sid Barrett,
Because they're up there with you my friend

Rest In Peace to the king of the blues, B.B. King

The patient is stable,
the anesthesia is working
we don't have all day
let's get to working
I'll require a scalpel
I'll slice him open
inserting plastic here and there
trying to fix what isn't broken
insecurity got to the head
now his features will resemble a raptor that's dead,
why do we try to "fix" what isn't broken?
Its like our lives are defined by make up and Surgeries, what have we as a society been smoking?
standards can get chuffed, because as we get older we shouldn't be bound to the "beauty"industries handcuffs

Pouring down from the crying sky
the tears from heaven and angels songs
illuminate my face and mask my pain
that's why I so dearly love the rain

I can feel worthless and I still do
I can be dried up and misused
I can walk out onto the rain
and let all of that leave my brain

thoughtlessly wet, and consumed with a macabre happiness
I don't understand what you'd expect
Me to forget all the scars in my side
I would if I could but the wounds haven't died.

I can't bandage what I can't see
and I can't control what others, and even what I did to me.
I can control how I respond to pain,
I just walk into the deep thoughtless rain

What a horrible night to have a curse
A torment that can only be described in verse
A pain never ceasing, calculating in its agony
A virus that knows no antidote, a craving that cannot be pleased

My curse isn't hereditary
in fact to some oh it may be ordinary
my curse is simple, I don't know how to love anymore
I feel so used up and dried out, like a lemon too long in a store

i keep getting scared of showing affection
like I'm just being used to fill some connection
I keep trying to avoid this but I can't show discretion
I keep wandering in an unknown direction...

So today I rode the train home and as I got off I felt the spring rain
I looked up ash the clouds covering the sky and I saw your face among the bodies divine.
I thought it some strange mirage but I saw eyes nose hair and your smile made up of stars,
your hair a cosmic nebulae that shined on constantly
your dimples two planets, or that's how it seemed to me
it was a beautiful sight, your face comprised of things we found in the outer reaches of space
but just in case I made the mistake of pinching myself...
and then I awoke from that beautiful daydream of you and my subconscious went back to the shelf.