It's like it's picking
at my bones
my organs severed
I wish I wasn't alone
I used to roam
along the plains
they shot me dead
and left my remains
now I'm stuck here
no strength to move on
dying in the desert
where I belong
a crow found me
smelling rotting flesh
My body is it's meal
I must taste the best
the finest carrion, Sun fried to perfection
I hope it stops biting in that direction
this isn't painless but necessary
I wonder what they'll say on my obituary
"He was a good man, he loved music and his pen,
Poetry and stories were his arts, where he created his closest friends."
I wonder if all the girls who turned me down
Will look upon me with a tearful frown
I wonder what everyone will say
when this crow is through eating me today

You know what *****?
not having anything to write about because you're full of doubt about your life and the way it's going
when you have to consider giving it up to get those creative juices flowing

You know what *****?
when you're one of the few loyal mothafxckas out here but no one gives two fxcks
when your the type to buy your lady flowers but **** her in the car at her parents house
the type to compliment her blouse then rip it off when we get hot

you know what *****?
when one thing happens and your whole day is shot down the tubes and dead like Jimmy Hoffa got,
when you try to play to sweetness but get led on instead
when there's nothing but insecurity and loneliness residing in your head.

The Harshest Critic you could ever meet is yourself
when I have money I always don't have enough
if I'm lonely it's my fault I haven't lived enough to know lust from love
I always critique myself harshly because I know my potential is in the stars.

But maybe I'm too ******* myself,
well what would you want a soft man's mental health?! learn to hide your feelings and release them onto the page!
I did that brain, now the more I write sometimes the worse I feel and the less I heal.

but you need me to put this into perspective because you're opinion on what I do isn't subjective you're not aggressive enough you'll fall to the ground like Dust

SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYMORE! I TRY NOT TO OVERTHINK EVERYTHING BUT YOU ******* ME FASTER THAN A 20 DOLLAR WXORE!

You know I'm no good
for your heart mind or soul
so I guess that's why you're not bothered with me
you saw ahead and didn't even let me know.

You know I'm no good
I can't bring anything to the table
you saw that I'm a horrible waiter
and ran like a stallion from a stable

You know I'm no good,
you saw through my glass chest
and through to my broken spirit
and destroyed me for the best

I'm uninspired
unmotivated
ungrateful
and understated
at least that's what most people say,

I choose now to stop living and loving by all the Uns
that everybody tries to throw my way.

From now on I'm no longer an UN or a statistic,
and though you may find what's on my mind twisted
and you may say what I write is sadistic
I'm moving on from an un now I'm moving in
to where I should of been going, from beginning to end

anybody got a map
so I can find who I'm looking for
seriously I've been trying to find her
but she's about as lost as Stevie Wonder in a grocery store.

I just want someone I can show off to the world and still keep our business in private
someone I can take to my parents and say
she's my pride and joy and she makes me smile each day

I mean, I'm the kind of guy that'll go get you candy if your on that womanly business
Need a rub down? okay turn to where it itches,

you want candy? tell me what kind you like the most
headache bothering you? I'll lick you until it goes away like an ungracious host

you walk to me crying? Who am I beating up today
want a kiss in front of everybody? you got it I don't give a crap about what they say,

yes I'm a nice guy or at least I try
and yes we still exist.
but can I just find someone that I can show my softer side...
can I find someone that's not going to destroy my time?

Birthday

So I'm 19 years old today I didn't party but I celebrated internally I laid up happy, got some dead presidents to spend and as a bonus I got to speak to a very good friend

Now ordinarily I'd choose right now to destroy many others in this flow
But I'm gonna give a shout out to the lovely @thicksnoww
Seriously she's awesome you'd be a ******* to not follow the page
Take this as the advice from Nero The Sage

But anyway thank you one and all for all the birthday wishes the love filled me with fuzziness and happy days like a kid on Christmas
Anyway I'll lay this to rest,
Thank from my heart because you're all the best

To the lovely Lady in the buffet
oh right, I went to a buffet yesterday
I was standing in the dessert line and
this chocolate beauty caught my eye,
a million thoughts ran through my head, like does she have a guy?
Anyway, I wanted to place in an order for her
lay her down on the table and lovingly devour her

I stood frozen for a second imagining what I'd do
anything and everything I guess it's true
I wanted nothing more than to eat her ***** like lunch
get up and **** her over the counter,
serve her my **** like brunch

good God how'd I think like this in a restaurant
a buffet at that
well lust can take over,
at the drop of a hat

We're so so very sorry
but the poets brain you've requested is currently under maintenance.
We do apologize for this but
he really is down for the count
not the puppet but he is broken and fatigued
tired of putting words into verse, at least until his head and art get back into sync I think I need rehabilitation from my own head creating is a burden I'm certain that I'm not even that good anymore when I was just starting I was full of life and vigor...
now I just feel like a chore,
someone else's mess to clean up...

hello thank you for calling the brain service line
where we help you fix your mind in time for a rhyme
what can I do for you?

Yes thank you got taking my call
I'm flustered you see, I don't know what to do at all
see my brain and heart are on two different pages
I go from happy to lonely to flying onto irrelevant rages

Ohh yes we've been flooded with your problem lately
we don't have a solution that can work
Well can you give me advice?
Maybe...

I'd advise trying to focus on life itself
but my heart keeps desiring someone with which to build an empire of wealth
well I can't help you sir, but I wish you good luck
thanks ma'am, I'm gloomy as ****

Therapy Session

What's the point of explaining
When all I get is you're ****** in the head
I feel like a caged animal forced to write **** by my own hands
I'm an ******* and no one seems to believe expect those who listen, and take me seriously when I say I ******* hate the world  
Well allow me to play the role
Of deacon blues
Because you need to vent
As I do
There's a hole in my head
The size of San Andreas
I know I'm not at fault
But I can't help but to take it to heart
A lost cause taking steps to my hearse
With each blow to my ego
Heck even my friends think I'm about to explode
A self-centered freak with my heart on a sleeve
I'm my own disease
I've been my worst enemy
I've fought myself for years
But I am better, I hope you see
I'm here for you death,
Just follow me
Knock knock
You there?
Of course not, you left
So I'm calling it quits
**** what you said, I know what I heard
I'm to far gone even the angels refuse to save me
Tonight I'm throwing lady off the cliff

Am I going somewhere, or is this the end of my road,
I wish I could tell you because I really don't know.
I'll be 19 this Sunday, that's well over 6 thousand days here on planet earth.
But what good is it doing anybody if the last 3 years was up and down from high on life to heartless hurt.

So I ask, what Am I doing? honestly I want to know...
I don't want to be here and have nothing to show.
I mean, I write and appreciate every single person that takes time to read
I play guitar and draw, but what does it all mean?

I guess if I'm asking these questions then I'm close to the answer, more so than I may think...

You know what *****?
being kind.
Wait What?
Why?

Because if you're too nice
you'll come of as weak
but it takes true strength to remain humble and meek

I don't get what you mean, can you please explain?
Sure dear friend, I'll make it simple and plain.

I try to be nice and not offend or be rude
but everyone seems to take advantage of me in a mellow mood
so when I finally snap it comes off as a surprise
"How was I supposed to know hurting you would bring anger to your eyes?"

And let's not even get started on relationships
being nice gets you walked on, or they Dash like Damon did.
I can be as pleasant as a human can be
but everyone fails to see the other parts of me...

Have you ever loved someone
with your body and soul
would do anything for them, in a heartbeat
just them being around is enough to help you soundly sleep,
But life soon happens and it drives you apart
but nothing and no one can fill that space, that hole, buried into your heart.
You know you should move on, but can't let them go
why do you care so much Nero? I really don't know.

Well, my birthday is coming up soon again,
I'll be 19 and spend the day with two of my friends,
but there's only one thing I want this year,
just the chance to say that I love you so much, and I want you here,
just to hold you tight and never let you go
to kiss you like a madman, on those lips and cheeks white as snow
That's really all I want this year, just you nothing else
can't anybody see this? can anybody help?

It's Funny
i never saw you this way when we first met
but now I keep imagining you on top of me
hot and wet
it's a hard thought to shake
you grinding against my member
I think I've finally knocked it out
but it comes back around like December

it's funny because the lines aren't blurred
we're both sober our speech isn't slurred
but when I lay alone I become drunk with lust
and this aching desire to sip and drink from your cup
I can't keep thinking about you like this
it's unhealthy for us both, like an uncomfortable itch.

Hello my name is Neroamee
Alucard if your nasty
and I'm a nerd,
I've gone through most of my life
socially awkward
Now you'd think at the age of 19
I would've gone out of my cocoon
and become a social butterfly
but I'm a walking Pariah
I'm not even close to fly
Just for liking manga and listening to music
that is older than me
I ended up ostracized
but I did gain friends
and we became like family.
So yes my Name is Neroamee
and yes I am awkward socially
I'll admit I'm sensitive, a nerd and don't fit into a culture homogenously
but I promise you this
you'll never encounter someone like me,
I guarantee you this

this is the tale of my good friend Hugh
who was once so ***** he didn't know what to do
he tried watching videos on dubious websites
but even that couldn't satisfy his ****** appetite.

So one day he was pondering what he should try
to get rid of this libido he was creating the poor guy
So he picked up a phonebook and dialed a number
"I hate to do this, but I have to put this problem under!"

35 minutes later he started to simmer and stew
until there was a knock at the door, and up jumped Hugh
There at the door was a curvaceous female
he could barely speak he just started to stare

In she walked and off came her clothes
she was wearing nothing, but she looked hotter than melted gold
He immediately jumped in and they made sweet love
so loud the screams were heard by doves

So remember folks if your like Hugh
and so ***** you don't know what to do
just take a peek at the classified section
and you can absolve your Hugh G Rection

I want to cry
but I can't shake my pride
I'm supposed to be emotionless and cold
not crack at the first sign of life going downhill

I Want To cry
but I can't bring myself to break
I can't stand being weak in front of anyone
This is so hard to shake

I want to cry
but I feel so stupid
Why didn't I see this coming
**** it why do I still take everything so hard

I want to cry...
but **** it
I'm going to break if I don't
so If you see me in the rain making the tears in my eyes

I got my wish I finally cried.

you know what's strange?
it's like for every friend I gain
I lose two more
especially when you ready give a **** about someone it makes you kinda bitter to the core
Why is it this keeps happening? I already listlessly wander, now I have reason to wander more
Since no one seems to want me around I'll just go find life and see what it has in store

I mean I know I'm not perfect but don't just leave with no reason,
I guess they were right, for everything, and everyone there's a season

Anybody else hate assumptions
like you really come off as presumptuous
Its really very scrumptious the tea that I drink
when someone who knows nothing about something tries to speak what they think

Now, if you have an opinion on a topic, that's perfectly fine
If we disagree respectfully that's great, but that's not Who I'm discussing this time
I'm discussing people who don't know anything then flex like they have a functioning mind

you know the type Right? those people who have larger than life mouths?
but when it comes to stating facts they look like they've voided their bowels
it's like you could jump on Google and search it out, connect the consonants and vowels,
and look up the facts and form an opinion, instead of running off at the mouth.

Like I said, I'm okay if your opinion or situation differs from mine,
but I'm speaking on those that jump into a debate completely blind
next time, jump on the net and do a good old fashioned fact find.
then say something once you form an opinion on your "mind"

I grasped the sword
charged ahead at full speed
I don't know who will win
my opponent or me
we both trained for years
shared classes, friends even food
now our elders decided that our fates
shall lie within an age old contest,
out in the forest, we staged a duel.
I heard kunai hit the trunk behind me,
I instinctively turned around
dodged, parried, struck back as he aimed
to cut me to the ground
I struck back with two quick slices
aimed directly at the head,
we fought like dogs starved for days
like the moon struggling against the sunrise
I was grievously injured, but he couldn't win the fight.
I removed his head from his body
in one swift, fluid stroke


and then I awoke...
fighting my own brother
a nightmare that had been plaguing me for days, weeks on end.
why is it I keep on thinking, that maybe just maybe, it has roots in my past loves end?

When you hurt me you didn't just turn me down
You left me feeling like a faceless clown,
you took my confidence to hell
buried it right beside my pride, how swell!
my ****** side? yeah that died with my dreams
You didn't just hurt me, you tore my heart apart at the seams.

But... yet....

What you took from me could never be replaced
So I went into the deepest recesses of my heart and soul and forged new items to stand in that unoccupied space
It took a lot of time
most of that spent putting my pain into rhyme
I had to go through hell to really appreciate it when I get to heaven

So thank you for stealing, because I just got new models in and more coming at 7
So now I only have these final words to say to you

Roses are red,
violets not blue
you must think I'm stupid,
if I decided to return to you

Roses Are red
a deep crimson hue,
I heard about someone getting deported to outer Mongolia
you should follow suit.

Roses are red,
spinach stalks green
you may be wondering,
why this poem is so mean

Well at the risk of sounding cliche,
it's inspired by an ex of mine,
what more can I say?

Welcome to the machine dear friends
you won't be glad you came
Because though we walk inside different
we all leave carbon copies, one and the same

The echoes resonate off of the walls
of the line where they took us apart,
they gave us manufactured brains
and surgically grafted our hearts

we were taught history but from only one side
we were wrong to think differently, because all that we knew before was simply a pile of lies.

So though you may think your school pristine,
I say to you my friend, welcome to the machine.

A Tremolo tale of dead men riding
in the old west deciding
that their fate was up to Destiny
but this is their story, not mine you see.

They ride as one soul, pressed on by the promise of a better life
leaving behind everything, family, friends
even their wives.

Searching for something that can't be toed down,
looking for someone that can never be found.

they burned white hot when angered,
a soothing blue when pleased
I've seen them ride, it's a humbling experience indeed.

And it's said that to This day, on a brightly lit night
if you look up quickly you may see them fly right on by
those brave warriors, those ghost riders in the sky

The men behind the mask,
that Is my face
have required that I give everyone here
a small update
see not everything I write
Is a result of my own imagination
sometimes I just use the people residing up here
For some measure of inspiration,
NA is me normally and naturally,
it's no longer a character or a concept
but just me on reality.
now I've got to let him out of His Cage.

ALRIGHT JIM YOU CAN COME OUT TO PLAY

Hello I'm Jim I'm sure we haven't met I often use hip-hop to tell of our struggles and Regrets I expect that you'll guess that I was behind the freestyles that were posted here once upon a time but then that's how I rhyme internal and external my microphone skills are ****** like the infernal souls of the restless and the wicked I'll spit ballistics abd the evidence will support that you risked it by battling with me
Next up?
I believe that's me..
OrionThaReject light up the Mic for the symphony

OrionThaReject is my name
being seriously depressed is my game,
I'm usually the sad writings
that pop up on this page
along with loneliness, depression,
and occupational rage
I'm engaged to my tears as they were more faithful than most
so if you like darkness, I hope to me you'll Play host

Well there you have it dear reader
you've met my constructs that are about impossible to destroy without holy water and Ether
anyway, reading my work you should be able to tell who's who
Because the inside of my brain is more messed up than the San Diego zoo

I thought I buried you under the green grass
in the gloomy graveyard that is my past
I thought you'd gone on
to a distant land never to be seen or heard from again
I made these assumptions and tried to press onward but...
I Lost all of what made me less awkward,
I Lost my positive out look from one too many fixings of my black hole of a heart
my ****** edge is dead, that's why my Sundays have been so dry
I can't string two words to make anybody moist... so really why do I try?
I guess it's because I gave my heart to this notebook and pen,
when I was dead inside it became my closest friend,
helping me out my problems and surpass my demons,
but then everything has a season,
I guess what I'm getting at
is if you wanna try, (which I doubt)
I'm up and down for that...
So really.. why am I not the same anymore?
I thought I knew

Pitiful power hungry people
are strange with an odd plethora of features
it's like even though we know what lies in the box
we insist on angering Pandora, and she isn't one to be mocked

Nowadays next to no one is really worth a **** family and friends can stab you in the back quicker than an admitted enemy can shoot you from the front we placed to much priority on trying to stunt and floss off our material possessions,
maybe if we focused on the inside more than out this may never have been written.

Petite Teenager getting pregnant thinking that a baby equals love, or that kid who tried his best to stand the constant harassment just stamped his ticket to heaven with a loaded gun,
People are strange, we delight in another's misery yet abhor someone's success.
like the book said, were both cursed and blessed

I'm stuck in a loop
an inception like paradox
I'm like a cat trapped in its box
It's weird, I'm aging but
I'm not going anywhere
locked in my straitjacket
I'm on a freeway behind the tortoise
but I can't pass it
I'm alone but with a family
I'm a walking contradiction, I'm loved
but I can't stand me
my writings touch people, I think but i don't know how they affect me
I'm sorry, lately I've been thinking weirdly

This is the reason
we haven't changed seasons
we're feeling the wrath of
the raging demon
he goes from country to country
region to region
changing the weather,
from Sun to snow
from warmth to cold
I don't know what will
cure his ill
but I do know
we aren't of the same ilk
I tried to reason
with this insatiable demon
he said when mankind learns
to restore what he has burned
then he will take leave of us
until then, he'll tease and torture
until we bust

Equally at home in the streets and just as gifted in a suit with a delicately done press.
the smooth operator Is one of the most dangerous creatures we've yet encountered
They're found everywhere, coast to coast, from NY To Chicago, also spotted up north in Canada and down south in Key Largo.

The smooth operator is equipped for any encounter with eyes that pierce deep into the soul and can approach anybody with a confidence level unrivalled by none but their own kind.
There is only one, Nay Two known deterrents of the smooth operator, either a pathetic Roger Rabbit like nerd, or a spilled drink.

careful out there ladies. it's a jungle.

The Burden of Creativity
is that somethings I do
somethings I say or think
won't make sense to anybody but me

let's use for example Mr. Kubrick, first name Stanley
who took 178 takes of one scene grandly,
I'm sure everybody was tired and worn into the ground
but The Shining was one of the greatest movies around

so though this may sound self serving to a point
painting pictures with verbs and drawing landscapes with words isn't an easy way to make coin

but that's the curse of Creativity,
a lot of things Don't make sense, even to me

Dear Music

thank you for being a friend
thank you for being there when my world was at an end
thank you for being the ultimate antidepressant
thank you for saving me from myself because I'm my own worst enemy

there's a lot I could thank music for, like giving me confidence when I walked through a door
or blocking out people in the morning on the bus
thank you music, for being there for all of us

I know you mean well but you can't speak for me
forgive me if you'd writing seems like it's driven by apathy
I want to grow up but I can't right now
I have enough personal issues of my own to iron out
I'm still shy as all **** and insecure as ******* and bacon
I'm constantly on edge like a diet coke with mentos that's been shaken
But then that's my own cross to bear
having to fight things in my head that no one would know they're there.
And it seems when I make an effort no one gives a ****
So really, please don't speak on something you can't understand.
Like I said, I know you mean well and I appreciate your concern
but it's my mistakes and my life, I'll always have demons to burn

Nerozy you're at this age..
Where you just wanna be set free..
Like a little birdie..
To fly over the world..
To see the seven seas..
Instead of being stuck at home..
In the same cold world..
With no place to turn..
You got a head full of ideas..
Crazy enough to believe..
Somehow you just gotta be set free..
To preach out..
To reach out..
To be yourself..
With no ones help.

Hillzy were birds of a feather
Except in my case I'm experiencing better weather
Whatever you're right
I gotta get out and love my life
I gotta be free
And you do as well

Go and explore..
Spread those wings apart..
Just always remember..
Your big sis is always here to help...
If you wanna go big..
Go big..
To the fortune and fame..
If you wanna go small..
Stay in town..
Go and explore for yourself..
You're a pilot of your own life..
Baby bro..
Just remember you're always welcome back home..

Hillzister be free and roam the world
Be a take charge Phoenix type of girl
Answer to no one until you're ready to be cuffed
And even then make sure he's up to *****

You've got it good you see if you're not unwanted like me an unnamed burden that is for certain a beast with no beauty a wandering soul with no rest was I that wicked in a past life? I guess I can take striking out but I've done so horribly it's hard to not dwell on it and I know I've written a lot about feeling unwanted but when you get led on by someone you thought was a friend it's like wandering into a job interview and making it far enough to get a call only to find out they hired someone and though it wasn't meant for you at all it stings your pride and beats your spirit to a ****** lifeless pulp

so while I have to indulge my feelings of emptiness and disappointment again my friends just know you aren't a waste of space and if you're in a hole like me you don't just have it good, you have it great

Now in case your brain stem is loose
I'm a big fan of Dr. Seuss
And clearly a few of my screws are loose
at least I'm not crazy like a moose

Now, for those that remember Sam I Am
he heavily endorsed Green Eggs And ham
persistently and though he cajoled And coaxed
the other party wouldn't eat them, not on a plane
not on a train, not with a goat, and not on a boat
not here, nor there, he wouldn't eat them anywhere!

However I'm much older now and now I can say,
that old rhyming story holds truth even today
so put away all your prejudgements and prejudices
Because something beautiful has come by, and if you let that cloud your mind, you'll miss it.

It's like a jungle sometimes
that's what The Grandmaster said
but learning about bodies being found in alleys over colors
that's maybe not what he saw in his head
the streets are cruel, but they teach you a lot
every day in my city it seems
someone's getting shot
More bullets pop every night
And more kids don't get to see the sunlight
to quote Run-Dmc whatever did happen to unity?
we lost the concept when getting money and turning up became the only objects
of our fascination and now our babies won't grow up to see outside the chainlink fence that symbolizes the divide between the hoods, north south west and east side we need to call a truce put all the beef aside and let's grow as a city it won't be easy at all
but I guarantee if we can do this it's together not apart from the homies is how we'll ball

I think it's time
I explore my twisted side
I've got my rope
I've got my knives
I'm going out
for a new thrill tonight
a little psychotic
morphed into a lot
now I'm going to use bodies
to leave my Mark
And it's a shame that
you've crossed my path
Now I'll grind your brains to paste
now like Jagger, I'll lay your soul to waste

You are what you are
no bypassing the issue
And if you force change on someone
the issue is you

we all were created to be something
from the addicts to the presidents
for those that may be wondering
hopeless nerds and the awkward
are who I represent

Me? I'm a hardened cynical writing fiend
inking and abusing pages like schoolly D when he asked, P.S.K. what does it mean
you won't find this engrossing
as I'm prone to bouts of vicious self loathing

You? well clearly you must like what I write
I personally don't see why but hey that's alright
but then you always are your own worst critic
So even though I may think I'm dumber than a post tied to a box of rocks
you may see something different

Bottom line is, we all are something unique and strange
because of this humans should try to engage
the idea of being loving and not war hungry ******
because who know how long we have until the final curtain call
And when the author's pen makes that last click

I've
Cracked
at
the
seams
I
Can't
find
out
what
these
dreams
mean
I
don't
understand
why
my
mind
keeps
becoming
so
underhanded
Playing
tri­cks
on
my
consciousness
Can't
for
once
it
just
go
away.

I promised myself I'd address this with
you two but is been burdening me and messing with my head
so we go any further and before another day decides to pass
I'm going to write this down before I end up brain dead.
You're my parents, you birthed me and I love and respect you both
but the pressure you put me under is causing me to choke
I don't know how much longer I can take living under this yoke

First off and with all due respect,
I'm not my siblings or my cousins, and I know I'm not what you must've guessed
would arrive on this earth, and I know you do and have done your best
to raise me right, but I see that's one thing you forget.

Second, please pick a consistent tone.
I want to grow up but clearly you don't want me on my own.
I know I'll always be that curly headed little kid, and I'm trying to grow up but there's only so much I can do no matter what either of you did.

Thirdly, mom, I have trouble sleeping at night because of all of this, so when I do wake you up I am sorry it's nervous energy that causes it.
I keep trying to sleep then wonder
Will I ever get my life together or am I just another burden another life ripped asunder?

I hate that I even had to write this but I had to get this off of my chest,
I know you both love me and want nothing but the best,
but I couldn't find a way to communicate these problems I'm facing without coming off as issuing disrespect.
so if I'm you're biggest disappointment I'm sorry, that's just maybe what I'm destined to be,
I know that I'm not in charge of my destiny,
but I am glad that God assigned you two to me

Let me go
away
from myself
today
I need a respite
please
just let me go
don't squeeze
me tighter
I can't take anymore
the darkness
creeps in
making bad days
seem brighter
than my own thoughts
it's strange how
I used to be a happy
go lucky cherub
not caring about the world
now I'm a hardened cynical *******
who can't work up the nerve to talk to anyone
about anything let alone a girl
so let me go
please

The streets are talking
but you're too dumb to listen
every sidewalk has a story
but not all of them are written
like that guy begging outside Walgreens
he was once an army lieutenant until
he was ******* over by mental disease
she used to be a doctor,
now she always works nights
letting people inside for money for her kids
so don't judge anybody on sight

I'm my own disease
I'm my own worst enemy
I can't decide
I've lost my mind
I'm either hiding from everyone
or easy to find
I need a syringe
of some kind of medicine
to get me out of
this pit that I'm in
I can't even walk
let alone crawl
I'm the loser from the teen movies
that one and all
So I reign
over my patch of dirt
like Johnny cash
I'll just make you hurt
I'm no one's benefit
just a constant burden
on myself and others
that much is certain
now some may think
this isn't true
but I've been this way for so long
what more can I do?
I have no confidence
my pride is all but dead
sometimes I have to bully myself
to get this out of my head
not one person has ever seen
the faces I take off daily
Will someone ever figure it out?
one day... maybe

Stop sticking
your pins in my sides
I'm not an avatar for someone else's pain
I have enough wounds of my own that need to heal
so stop trying to make me
your voodoo doll
because I'm not built for that kind of pain
no not at all
I know I've done a lot of wrong
I know I can't do any right
but stop punishing me because of this
it's nowhere near worth the fight.

So please I beg you against my pride
stop stabbing me violently in the side
dispiriting my body and reaping my soul
because you know I've nowhere to go
I'm trapped imprisoned inside my own head
the same thing that helps keep me awake could turn on me And I'd wind up dead.

I can't escape my mind And I can't get it right
if I got up any measure of nerve maybe I wouldn't be writing this tonight
I keep trying to exorcise these ghosts upstairs but they keep coming back to life

There once was a kid who'd been hurt
As a result he became cold and curt
But he ran into someone
Who brightened his day like the sun
And stitched up the scars in his patch of dirt

He's feeling much better and in a better place
the negativity mostly has left his mind space
his smile returned
but he doesn't want to be burned
Because he doesn't want to go back to that place

So he's in a position he doesn't want to be in
Because he doesn't want his heart to cost him a friend
Should he play it to the vest
Should he go for broke and invest
Because this'll drive him around the bend

A man walked into a bar
Sat down and ordered a bottle of whiskey
the bartender said with each and every shot
the task of drinking would get risky

He laughed naturally and turned the bottle on its head
The Amber Brown liquid fell into a shot glass and from there into his head.

At first the whiskey was nice and refreshing
soothing his aches and pains not at all depressing
as he went through each glass he couldn't stop

he realized he was drinking his own life, each day by the drop

Whether it's poetry from the streets or the stuff written in limericks on parchment sheets there's no denying that when a poetic Homosapien sets the mind to rhyming our brain patterns are odd because we use our pens to stitch up and heal our scars because we are poets. Our minds don't function like the rest of the world and in this verse it kept me from ending up in the back of a hearse whether by my own doing or because of this world's curse

But if course I care about the people that have influenced or helped me to become better, Midnight Writer I'm not just vintage I adapt to all weather, Miss Hillzy and Reamer, Queen, Aurora, Joana Ashby Drsjoke and blue star♥ Antipodean Product I love you guys and I hope page abuse carries us far

and from hello poetry Wolf Spirit, lady death and many many others I love all of you from the bottom of my twisted heart I hope that our union of words shall never break apart.

Now I know what your thinking,
"Nero you hate being single! Crap you barely even know how to mingle!"
but I've really given it thought and wrote this down
single people take solace in these hard facts
number one no can criticize you for liking at internet ***
number two no Valentine's financial obligations
number 3 that's the time you get yourself together, moving your life like a train from station
number 4 I adore that you aren't obligated to answer to anyone
number 5 IT'S ALIVE you can spend more time having fun

so long story short everything has both a reason and a season
I learned the hard way that people come into your life for a little while but the truck is to make your time with them worth your while

I'd rather be alone
that have my sweet nature played
I'm not perfect by any means but loyal
is burned into me like a 3 dollar steak
I'm not a friendzone option
either you want me or you don't
don't keep talking to me to stroke your ego
because if you do I'll come for the throat
why is it you claim you want someone nice
but go for an insensitive *****?
all men are different down to our dzcks.
But if you just use the nice one that stayed around for emotional support
expect him one day to move on
He'll probably be the one you should've married
if you just made him like a shopping trip
and tried him on
Like I said I'd rather be alone forever
than have my heart taken advantage of whenever
so if you generally want me, then just tell me
because I'll turn on you faster than a shrunken sweater