my mind is awake
with you
dont leave me yet

the alcohol slips through your lips
is that pain i see?

it must be.

and the blunt isnt enough to mask it
either

i see you
broken

i realize that things are
different
now

i cant look at the truth

but it remains
and im gone

the night swallows me whole as i try to
escape
what i fear most

and i cannot face it yet
maybe ever

and the wind soaks into my skin
and im alive
even just for a moment

Its hard to find that
true
that people say exist.

I see you,
and your smile
could only be fake.

For I have never experienced such a thing.

But no,
it is as real as anything,
it glows and this
I know.

The depth of you,
all of who you are,
and will become to be,
is simply
extraordinary.

Maybe its hard to believe,
but I see the twinkling
magic,
in your eyes.

I will never cease to believe
your light
that I have discovered.

Somehow
I feel more connected
to that light
and I am forever
grateful.

It is hard to
comprehend,

what you mean to me.

I could fall to you
and
I don't think
I would
mind.

But the real question
too crossed to
understand.

For where are you now?

You have tried so hard,
for
I have seen it, a glimpse.

I witness your grief,
dear,
and its all too
familiar.

We are the same,
but you left,
and I was gone once again.

We could have shared,
such a simple
occurrence.

But even that was taken.

Dear,
I've been lost.

But finding you is only the
beginning.

Because,
it seems,
your walls are almost as tall,
and thick,
as mine.

And you lost yourself as well,
along the way,
once upon a time,

and I return, and
I see it.

Disconnecting completely,
and this time,

I understand.

I would
give
just so much for
this.

This simple motion,
what is this now?

Not love surely,
nothing close to that.

For how is that
word
even used in one's
vocabulary?

Shrinking under the weight of your
stares,
It is my only choice.

I can feel you
across the
universe
and I used
to just let it be.

But
I have waited
and
now your eyes have gone missing.

I used to live there
in those magical,
mesmerizing
sea arson eyes.

For the fire burns the waves
that your water eyes possess.

But too faded now.

I used to let it be
until today
when
it ceased to be actually
okay.

What are these walls?

Not cement,
for all I do,
is one simple touch,
causing that downfall.

Collapsing, caving,
you're exposed now.

I see you, Naomi.

It is a hasty
life
so they say

and I could not agree more.

The soft sighs of you
distract
the ideas you have of the
truth.

Lies to me
are
much too real.

Live in the way I know
and then
perhaps,
you may know me once more.

Sacrifice
is what I've heard
of you
and
she is too real.
And then in truth,
the mirror
cracks.

Loving a flower
is so
easy,

and I have seen it done before.

For there are those,
innocence,
creating daisy crowns,
happily.

or lovers,
exchanging roses,
emotions bursting,
publicly.

But you are one of those,
but whole.
For innocence and beauty simply
cannot
sum up all of who you are.

Magic,
living within yourself
has caused your
downfall,
but you are living,
spinning out,
now.

It is hard to
fathom
such a world

How should I exist now?

The loneliness of this paved
pathway
is almost too much
Overwhelmed by thoughts of what
could be.

The concrete feels too heavy,
dull silver reflections,
underneath my feet.

Where am I going?

Beloved,
I finally see you.
But the truth is,
the invisibility is
blinding,
even to you.
I'm here, remembering,
existing.

I was free
once
and that is something
I hold on to,
desperate.

Desperate,
for the touch of what
was,
and the knowledge of
the truth.

The truth,
could not,
anger me in ways
you always will.

You always will
be me,
my love,
and
I was free**.

That simple
thought
it is too easy to
remember.

When, my love,
all I wish to do is
forget.

I'm talking to you
but
emotion doesnt seem to exist
for you
now.

Your mouth moves
but
I cant hear you
anymore, and,
I am disappearing with every
word
that you say.

Before I vanish completely, love,

I walk away.

Realize,
The true lightning within your stormy eyes,
Awake.

It is too dreamlike
to imagine what
freedom
really is.

For I crave the
love
and the safety
I have
found
within you.

Could it be so
different,
with them,
somehow,
I think yes.

I create my own
reality
even as it starts to
suffocate
all of me.

I desire your
release
but we are too
intertwined
to be
changed.

This life I know,
all I remember,
4 years.

Have I seen what is now?

This ****** up
instance,

Time to begin the
seperation
of all I know,

now.

She found a
ending
not quite what she had
expected.

Dropping into the void of
herself
was all she knew.

And she knew that all she ever wanted
was
to be wanted,

what a shame.

Too much has
faded
and I can no longer
see.

A warmth tickles my skin
yet
I can't help but
shiver.

Have you noticed?

The thought of piercing my
skin
excites me
and
I'm realizing now.

I'm sick.

Too much has changed
why does so much
feel so
wrong.

I can see it now,
blood,
staining my skin,
ridges,
permanent.

I can only imagine
the
jagged edges rising
across my
skin.

All I know
but still
I don't feel bad.

Have I lost my grasp of
reality,
finally?

For the sight of that only,
creates
true euphoria
and
I can truly
appreciate
the slicing of my
skin.

I can only imagine
the bathtub
the water changing
light pink,
as I bleed out, fluttering eyelids,
lovely,
finally.

I'm lost in the fog
of
what truly is.

What has this become?

No,
the fog is merely in my eyes,
just a hoax,
drawing me in.

Deceived,
by what used to be.

Have you seen me?
or,
perhaps,
her,
for,

Who is she?

The girl with the foggy eyes and unsure smile,
me.

Hurts worse
than what you have become
and
even I
recognize the pain
boiling in your eyes.

But that *** is now
spilling over
and
the river is simply too wide.

Its like winter again
yet
the grass is green
I sense the dark and
the horizon tells the
truth.

I met him where
ink turns to ice
and I return to that
place
once more
and
there you are.

Your open arms
look so warm
but your eyes
make me
shiver.

I see what you are
and
I know
what you are now.

It all ends here
and
I know.

It all ends here
and
I take your hand,
surprised by the iciness of
touch.

Who are you?
More like who am I?

For
you are back
facing that
mirror and
truly
you are me.

Your body is a wonderland
he says
if that is honesty pure.

Then the trees on my
landscape
are in flames
and the skeletons of life stalk
the lands
preying on innocent souls.

And the weather is me
for the storms rage and
collapse in on themselves
and the wind turns
your flesh
into the burns of a
inferno
and the acid rain melts the life
within.

Your body is a wonderland
to you,
perhaps,
but the truth can lie
paradox

Have you seen me?

Perhaps not,
if wonderful exists
in your
vocabulary.

You are waiting for me
and I cannot explain my
want
for it is simply
too much.

and your eyes
swallow me, easily,

where have you been?

for now I am
missing.

I need to escape
you
for you are my
drug of choice
and the cravings are
eating me
alive.

please
release me
even though, in truth,

**I love you

How come I can see you
when my invisibility is so present
to
you?

You captured the thundering skies
and lightning shadows
in your eyes.

Can I combat it with my cloudy skies
that I have found
in mine?

More like fog,
masking but truly
is.

Its all too lovely,
or perhaps,
not lovely enough.

When all I've got
is what used to be
then, in all reality,

what do I truly have?

nothing,
for that is what is.

Gold, crushed,
clenched in my jaws,
too strange to be understood.

Ice cold grips
locked in a stand still
and I can't see you

Angry tears is all you think of
and that is all you have noticed
but that is not what I've known,
for pain cannot be masked that way.

I have seen you, running,
and you are blinded by the
unknown
and that is the scariest thing.

Not for you, or me,
but rather,
us.

Hot touches,
flames consuming quickly,
too quickly to be quenched by
all that you are.

Hidden beauty
and your warm eyes burn silver
and
it is too easy to melt into your mercury.

What have you found since then?

Just a burning grasp of what could be,
carbon dioxide turned to gold,
but I'm still near.

Never far behind, they say,
but that is the truth,
for you are simply what I have imagined,

one of the best,
unrecognized by your own.

Tears rushing down,
collisions,
where have I gone,
spiraling out,
suspended.

I sat there
and no one knows
too easy to escape the questions
but
is it better?
I can't tell.

but with her,
I can.

Acceptance
is that so hard?
It shouldn't be.

I have come down
from where I used to be,
never to return to that
place

Lost in the labrynth,
where are they?
where am I?

Destined to wander,
I accept,
almost unwillingly.

Dare to dream,
only such a fantasy.

What a land of wonderful
flickers of light, and the
sun passes too quickly.

Caresses upon her cheek
so lovely to feel this now,
belonging,
brushes of luck simply passed on.

Warm welcomes
a simple desire,
fulfilled,
a complex thought
finally dismissed.

Soft laughter and
kind gestures.

What a world,
life celebrated too quickly
hints of shadows,
the sun passes too often,
surrounded.

Loud is a price I'll pay,
for you leave, and it's
all I have.

Does your silence scream?

I dance alone, no melody for me to
recognize,
but I feel you at my fingertips.

I am but a memory,
and a page easily skipped
the girl with the unsure smile and
sea arson eyes.

I remember what you said
this neverending racetrack
just turn right
for left leads you where you want to
go

You say my eyes set fire to the
oceans
I gave it all up to you
and you stole my
warmth, ready,

Am I good enough yet?
The girl has lost both her smile and her eyes
An empty body,
drifting.

I am barely breathing, but
how could you see?
for who are you to sit and speculate

What noise could be made
not just this, I'm sure
who is more serious?

The questions creep,
am I too close for comfort?

I know what you're doing
I see it so clearly now
You really had me there,
believing.

There is no air left for me
Not with you standing there,
but for you,
it's the price I'll pay.
What is this now?

I only feel the pain.

She couldn't have tried like she did
and they couldn't have missed it
so easily.

A pretty simple task,
but too many see too much
and her eyes flicker with what she
could know.

She could feel like they wanted
but who would she be,
then?

When found--they stared,
for their creation had fell apart,
not what they
foresaw.

Disconnected,
for what she thought she was,
or perhaps,
who she actually became,
had started to dissolve.

Gazing at herself,
the rise of what could be
withers
and with that her eyes
cloud over once more,
where she loses touch.

Her only want
being seen by others, but
distracted by her own being.

Strong
in what a world
a merry-go-round,
with such lovely company.

A unicorn has no presence here
but who are you to say,
for who are too different to be similar
and dragons without magic,
where are we now?

She met a boy,
but a thought, hazy, hovering

Where has the sky gone?

She met him at the place where
ink turned to ice,
and he clutched her until her skin turned
white.

Ghostly breaths brighten the space
around them,
replacing the music inside him with her voice.

He blinked twice and froze as her saw her escaping.

Blending into the beyond
and she left him, standing,
where the ink turns to ice.

Why should I speak?
For my lips are simply nothing,
but a device for you
to interpret.

And have I seen
a person so divine,
so sweet,
and a heart of stone diamonds come alive?

I have not.

I have seen myself
but the mirror isn't such good
company
not when the pieces cease to
fit

All I've done
that I can yet recall
hasn't seemed so pure.
But you have slaved over your
eyes
for they are now finally
alive.

I cannot welcome the warmth of
anyone,
for I look at fire,
and it appears as ice.

Maybe I can call to you,
just this once,
because you haven't looked into the
fire,
craving more goosebumps.

I still feel the same,
and thats why I left the cotton skies,
for a desert of only green.