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Oct 6 · 318
pink
Nala Alfira Oct 6
it reminds me of gentleness
that had gone too long to remember
it reminds me of a lonely walk
in this dangerous unsafe world

it reminds me of an erased smile
grieves nobody wants to hear about
a long black cloak and i moved on
yet a never ending mourn

it reminds me of a faded love
and eyes that never satisfied
and i don’t want to be a flower
that wither when he loves another
the color i always love
but never dare to wear
Aug 13 · 370
the head
Nala Alfira Aug 13
how can i ever hate you
i was created to love you
(seems like i’m the one who loves more)

how can they say
i’m getting someone better than you
i’ve loved you for the rest of my life
and no one can ever replace you
(don’t know how i’ll ever heal this wound)

you were my reason to live
everything, me becoming a king
all was so i can come back to you
come back to you safely
(unscratched even if you scream at me)

and i want to slam everything to the floor
so i wouldn’t be the broken one alone
be it glass, crystal, or diamond
(all i want is you love)

tell me how to live like you’ve never been my home
because i endlessly miss you
reset my head like you’ve never existed
because i survived without you
Jul 21 · 248
what it means
Nala Alfira Jul 21
you were my whole world
and you decided to tear my body apart

you were my fortress
and you left me drenched in a dark road

you were my definition of love
and your eyes said i better nonexisted
my therapist said "it doesn't matter what happened, what matters is how you perceive it, so ask yourself, what did it mean for you"
Jul 21 · 311
too late
Nala Alfira Jul 21
you didn't come to my funeral
now you ask if i want to dance

you want to reach out
but i've already sunken
you're wrong if you see me glow
the light isn't for you

i've followed you before
climb to you, swim to you
but you can't see me try
you didn't try to

i don't blame you
but don't blame me
Jul 21 · 324
golden hour
Nala Alfira Jul 21
thank you for calming yourself down
thank you for cheering yourself up
thank you for your good intentions
thank you for your best efforts

keep searching, keep running
may God be content with you
Jul 21 · 521
hollow
Nala Alfira Jul 21
there's a crack in my chest
i filled it with flowers,
gold, and sparkles
but it's still empty
i'm still thirsty

were you too good at hiding
or had i been hallucinating

i climbed a mountain to find you
but i lost myself on the way
i was sure you loved me once
May 2022 · 761
revisit
Nala Alfira May 2022
can you be brave enough
to acknowledge that it was just
a fateful unfortune

can you be strong enough
to accept and let go of
what's been taken from you

can you be merciful enough
to see your monstrous form
and shower her with love

you can endure anything
if you let yourself to
what to do when you revisit your traumatic memory
Apr 2022 · 477
cause and effect
Nala Alfira Apr 2022
sometimes it's not the money
but the way it was taken

sometimes it's not the bruises
but the memory

sometimes it's not the wording
but the meaning

sometimes it's not the action
but the intention
that hurts
Feb 2022 · 382
my future
Nala Alfira Feb 2022
the light ripped the darkness apart
and in that daybreak i see my future

things i nurture will be taken away
dreams i want will never come true
people i love, i'll need to let go
pain i suffer, i'll have to endure

i'll lose it all,
but i'll be fine
as long as i remember you,
i'm complete
about coping with recurring traumatic life events
Dec 2021 · 848
one-sided
Nala Alfira Dec 2021
it's beyond your control
why cry over it?

it's not yours
why claim to own it?

'no' is just a result of two random possibilities
take it, leave it, grow out of it
one-sided friendship hurts me more than the romantic ones
Nov 2021 · 1.7k
trophy
Nala Alfira Nov 2021
am i a trophy
am i a crown
am i a flower
in your bouquet
do i shine
like a gold
in your eyes
you make me feel like a lifeless object
Oct 2021 · 621
emotion
Nala Alfira Oct 2021
i don't even know anymore
am i being abused
am i being harassed
am i being loved
all feel the same
scary
painful
but i'm good at ignoring it

"what you need to ignore
is the people who hurt you
not the pain they've caused"
Oct 2021 · 424
canvas
Nala Alfira Oct 2021
sometimes i don't want you
to be kind to everyone
to adapt to adjust
to like everything

you're as lovely as a doll
as plain as a canvas
don't let people paint
anything the want on you

when you asked
"what do you want?"
your heart doesn't answer anymore
you've silenced it for too long

be honest with me
let the tears out
take off your mask
you can rest now
Sep 2021 · 903
victor
Nala Alfira Sep 2021
a lot of things happened in the past
and you have fought well
so whatever the future is going to be
you are a winner
Sep 2021 · 2.2k
castle
Nala Alfira Sep 2021
you build me a castle
but you give me no room
to be myself
to feel myself
Aug 2021 · 145
pause
Nala Alfira Aug 2021
under the light
above the stage
i always know what to say
put a charming smile to sway

but i can't find a word
to title our story
i paused too long
trying to explain how it feels

was it always this vague
were i always this speechless
i need to get out of us
to be able to write about us
Aug 2021 · 4.2k
why did you leave me?
Nala Alfira Aug 2021
even when i know the answer
it's still hurt the most
even when i'm an adult now
it never really healed

maybe it's just how life is
what comes will go
maybe it's just better for me
to stop asking why
Aug 2021 · 775
destination
Nala Alfira Aug 2021
i'm here
i can heal you
and when you're happy
come back to me

don't go around
and get your heart
broken all over again
remember me
Jul 2021 · 1.6k
love letter
Nala Alfira Jul 2021
they always talk,
but can't listen.
it's okay.
i'll listen to your stories,
every detail of them.

when i look at the mirror,
i always think you're pretty.
so don't compare yourself with others
and just focus on us.

you were always so selfless.
but honestly,
among other people,
i love you the most.

i would fight fiercely
yet wait patiently
for you.
so please, accept me.
love yourself.
Jul 2021 · 551
do you miss me?
Nala Alfira Jul 2021
you didn’t notice that i’m fading
you have your family
i don’t have mine
you were
for you who are alone in this pandemic, we're in this together
Oct 2020 · 1.4k
good girl
Nala Alfira Oct 2020
my chest's burning like
i'm ready to slam my phone
and i'm just so sick of

adjusting my feelings
revising my words
setting up my smiles

to keep everyone happy
avoid another contrariety
runaway from the reality

a baby born crying then
you forced her to laugh
i recently realized this is not healthy
Oct 2020 · 1.2k
little birds
Nala Alfira Oct 2020
why do we born
to be weak
to be owned
to recover alone

why do we taught
not to say no
not to be heard
not to be complete
Oct 2020 · 1.1k
astray
Nala Alfira Oct 2020
you were right in front of me
but i missed you so bad
like you're not there

you only wanted to be loved
why can't i give it
why can't we
to each other
i'm sorry, i
didn't love you enough
Oct 2020 · 495
the men
Nala Alfira Oct 2020
a man ruins my childhood
a man ruins our sisterhood
a man ruins her motherhood
we crave their love but
we never loved ourselves
the only thing you can fix is yourself
Oct 2020 · 152
hometown
Nala Alfira Oct 2020
the train blasts in speed
sends me to the battle field
punch my heart, form a shield
i'm ready for another slit
i wonder what could have changed
cause my wound still bleed the same
Sep 2020 · 1.4k
a friend
Nala Alfira Sep 2020
i've invited her to
a dark place which
is called my mind and
she stayed with me

i've taken her to
a rushing river which
is called my tears and
she swam in deep

i've walked her through
an eggshells path which
is called my traumas and
she held me tight

i don't even feel like
i need to make her stay
cause she will
this level of trust is... rare
Sep 2020 · 1.5k
abusive
Nala Alfira Sep 2020
i don't hate you
i fear you
and you make me stay by
teaching me that
to love is to fear and
to fear is to love
Apr 2020 · 191
best-friends
Nala Alfira Apr 2020
we're alike, in many features, they said
but only the two of us understood that
we're standing in different bergs of ice

we enjoy paddling closer to each other
but sometimes the ice water feels so cold

and seeing other stops
weakens another

in the end
we both frozen

and it hurts
this friend taught me that the "break-up" i most feared is actually bearable. thank you, friend.

— The End —