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Jan 2019 · 848
nothing
mer Jan 2019
spinning
falling
out of control

blurry vision
quick decisions
no logic

painful cuts
with silver blades
searing pain

glazed eyes
dull hearts
brains on fire

never ending
thoughts
and anxiety

"better off dead"
said the ones
like us

before they took the gun
blade
pills

and
became
nothing
Jan 2019 · 545
Blue Rivers
mer Jan 2019
She climbed like fire
from the cold claws--
"Not today," she said
Shaking her head.

It came back,
gnawing at her skin
Picking at her head
"No!" she yelled.

It crept up again
Its shivery smile deceiving
She met its eyes
And sighed, before walking away.

But it stuck with her.
Pleasant, yet sickening.
Beautiful but disgusting--
She stopped.

Looked over her shoulder;
It was still there,
Its red gleaming eyes full
of knowing evil.

Her eyes turned the color of fire
She touched its scales
Stroked its flesh
Eyes full of forbidden wonder.

She took a blade, in her pocket,
And looked at her wrists.
The blue rivers of gushing red
Intrigued her.

It noticed how easy she was
To control;
It hissed in her ear
And told her "Yes!"

That was all she needed--
She became one with it
When she sliced open her arm
And became slowly absorbed.

Soon she was gone
With the blue rivers,
Carried away by lies
And deceived by evil.
Jan 2019 · 139
honey?
mer Jan 2019
you open a mason jar
full of sticky,
bitterly sweet honey

your fingers stick
to the jar

and refuse
to release

you then realize
the honey

was actually
brown cement

why me?
you think,
annoyed
Jan 2019 · 148
Self-Harm
mer Jan 2019
I
let
it
happen
again.
I
slipped
up,
and
now
I'm
back
where
I
started.
I
hate
that
I
hate
myself.
I
hate
that
I
can't
stop.
I
hate
that
no
matter
how
hard
I
try,
nothing
seems
to
work.
I
hate
the
thoughts
I
have,
that
sickening
feeling
of
short
lived
joy
when
blades
grind
against
my
skin.
No
one
knows
the
things
I
do
to
myself.
No
one
hears
my
tears
or
my
awful
thoughts.
But
I
hear,
loud
and
clear,
and
it
keeps
me
awake.
I
can't
sleep
when
everything
is
so
loud.
I
love
it,
but
I
hate
it.
I
crave
it,
but
I
am
disgusted
by
it.
The
marks
appear
on
my
skin,
the
blood
rushes
to
its
surface,
the
pain
throbs.
The
pain
I
love,
the
pain
I
hate.
The
pain
I
am
addicted
to.
Jan 2019 · 361
Because I Love You
mer Jan 2019
I talked you through your dark times,
when you felt so alone
when no one else was willing

I left you alone
when you got angry at me
for trying to help

Why am I still here
with you
after all I've gone through because of you?

Because,
because I love you
Jan 2019 · 437
Airplane
mer Jan 2019
He thinks about that airplane
Flying above his house
What would happen if...
But it won’t.
But what if it actually...
No.

He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of something else
He covers his ears to hide the noise
It only makes it worse

His heart races inside his chest
He feels nauseous and dizzy
He tries again to think of anything but the plane
To no avail...

He feels so alone
His anxiety stops him from being happy
From doing what he loves
Being who he wants to be

He just wants it to stop
and
go
away.
Jan 2019 · 140
Thoughts
mer Jan 2019
You turn up your music
as
loud
as it will go

The meaningful lyrics
fill
your mind.
You take a
deep
breath

Maybe
Just maybe
This time the music will be
louder
than your thoughts
Jan 2019 · 328
Hopeless
mer Jan 2019
Everything feels
wrong.
Who am I
(really)?

I look in the mirror
and I see a face
that I don't
recognize.

Will I ever
feel
right?
I am so (hopelessly)
confused.

I have mutilated myself
Look at my arms and legs
(Are they really mine?)
The scars are all I see.

Help me, I softly whisper.
Not surprisingly,
no one
hears me.
Jan 2019 · 219
Broken
mer Jan 2019
Beneath the smile I
fake
At night, I lie
awake
When will the
pain
end?
When will I feel
alive
again?
Sep 2018 · 5.9k
Society
mer Sep 2018
There's this little thing who was born in the sewer
Her name, they all say, is Society
Pretends she's all that, but she's really nothing newer
They say she never once spoke the truth.

Society likes to pick in the brains of young girls
Likes to meanly whisper in their ears,
"You're fat, you're worthless, you're the ugliest there is!"
What good does that do? It brings them to tears.

Society likes to mess with the minds of young boys
Likes to torment them by teasing,
"You're skinny, you cry, you aren't manly enough!"
Society makes sure it sure isn't pleasing.

Society likes to mess with the minds of in-betweens or not-at-alls
Likes to belittle, judge, and taunt
"Why can't you be normal? No one likes you!"
It goes on and on. Society likes to daunt.

Society herself doesn't have a care in the world
She never thought once about anyone's feelings
All day she picks at everyone she can find
All night she waits for them to wake, on their ceilings.
Sep 2018 · 989
marching band
mer Sep 2018
left --
left --
left --

stepping in sync
in stiff uniforms
shoes go: clack, clack

left --
left --
left --

memorizing songs
the temperature is never
comfortable

left --
left --
left --

marching backwards on our toes
counting steps
and playing music

left --
left --
left --

all with a smile

left --
left --
left --
Sep 2018 · 343
Leaves
mer Sep 2018
The chill autumn breeze
The tall and brown rustling trees
Come dead falling leaves
Sep 2018 · 307
That's Why
mer Sep 2018
Your hands may be rough,
But at least they are gentle.

Your eyes may be plain,
But at least they are loving.

Your lips may be cracked,
But at least they can smile.

You may not be perfect,
But that's why
I love you.
Sep 2018 · 436
Your Eyes
mer Sep 2018
Your eyes aren't just brown --
They are the shade of running deer
Of sunlight on bark
Of stones under a clear creek
Of crispy autumn leaves
Of warm, sweet honey

Your eyes, they twinkle back at the stars
They light up like the sun when you smile
They look at me with kindness
Your eyes are something else.
Sep 2018 · 269
Faith
mer Sep 2018
I reach my hands to the sky,
Knowing You will catch me
if I fall.
I love You.

My trust in You cannot be described
in words.
My love for you my mind
cannot comprehend,
Oh God,
I love You.

Every time I fall short of You
You hug me and tell me "It's okay;
"I forgive you."
I love You.

When anxiety creeps up on me,
You calm my soul
and remind me that You
have everything under control.
God,
I love You.
Sep 2018 · 285
Yellow
mer Sep 2018
Clad in yellow low-tops
and second-hand jeans,
she walks through his heart --
with a curious mind, she explores.
Sep 2018 · 264
The Mystery of Birds
mer Sep 2018
I find it curious the mystery of birds
cawing deep within a morning forest
somewhere in the distance through the mist;
they soar from tree to towering tree
through the faded green and brown
as the entire wood dances to the song
of the soft, lingering breeze.
Sep 2018 · 251
love
mer Sep 2018
fingertips grazing
heartbeats racing
eyes lingering
minds hoping
Sep 2018 · 222
little does she know
mer Sep 2018
he looks at her like he loves her,
with truth behind his eyes,
and meaning in his heart.

but her gaze doesn't linger
when he catches her eye;
little does she know
Sep 2018 · 259
The sunset in your eyes
mer Sep 2018
The sunset in your eyes
gives me the light I need
to keep on trekking
through the mystery
of your broken heart
Sep 2018 · 186
how can i compare?
mer Sep 2018
i pull my covers over my burning face
because I know it was just a dream;

i know you didn't actually say you love me --
you didn't want to hold me tight
and wrap your arms around my waist,
with blush across your cheeks.

you dream of some other girl, and how can i compare?
she is everything i am not -- she is confident,
kind and funny, her hair is pretty and she
doesn't need to wear makeup to be beautiful.

how can i compare when you dream of
kissing her smiling lips and whispering sweet nothings?
truth is, i can't, but i'll just keep dreaming of you
and killing myself in the process.
Sep 2018 · 224
With You
mer Sep 2018
With you, I find peace.
I find peace through the night and
Through the thunderstorms.
Sep 2018 · 280
Clarinet Song
mer Sep 2018
The voice of a flat clarinet
Sings through an open window
Through the warm, paved streets
Full of Honda Civics and ***** buses

The people turn off their bass blasting radios
And adjust their ears to the quiet music
Which softly sighs through the town
Through the busy bakery and the dusty church

The song dies too soon
And the world holds its breath
For one more second --
Exhaling noisy construction, business phone calls,
And the popular love songs that seem to play on repeat.

Forgetting the quiet clarinet song.
Sep 2018 · 675
still holding on
mer Sep 2018
when are you coming home?
i've waited years and years
what came were tears
come home
Sep 2018 · 239
A Watch-Wearer and the Time
mer Sep 2018
The watch read five fifty-two
On a Saturday morning
The sky was dark blue
The stars a warning
that all that begins
must end,

It was now six-oh-one,
Morning had begun
The birds were singing their tune
For the watch-wearer would wake
soon

Another minute had passed
For time was not made to last
For now the world was
awake
Time is left to take.
Sep 2018 · 195
Just a Minute
mer Sep 2018
A new minute had come to life
Exploding
with each new second
Which gave it an identity
Something to be
recognized by
This minute existed all over the Earth,
In this minute all the humans take one
breath
together
Heartbeats of everything which has a heart
Beating
In this minute
A minute when laughter erupts
Babies cry
and old ones die
A minute when the stars twinkle brightly
Their beautiful essence
So far
away
A minute when the trees sway in the wind
Their leaves green and dancing,
All the life that comes from them
rejoicing
A minute when eyes will look and
see
everything around them
For the first time or
the last
A minute that could be one you'll always remember
Or one which was so ordinary
That you forgot
Sep 2018 · 165
can't you see?
mer Sep 2018
fingers tapping at phone screens
going out with friends
to buy useless jeans

blind to reality
blind to those who wait for the day
they can be free

can't you see?

don't you care?

writing useless stories
singing pointless songs

just because you turn around
doesn't mean they will disappear

they wait
in hunger
in pain
in need

can't you see?
Sep 2018 · 191
scars
mer Sep 2018
the scars that i have
remind me of memories
that were kept hidden
Sep 2018 · 333
The Shining Shore
mer Sep 2018
The silver tide sloshed to the shore
But soon shivered back to the black
It was leisurely lured once more
Sep 2018 · 335
Blissful Autumn Days
mer Sep 2018
A whirlwind of dry, colorful leaves float to the sky
As the breeze picks up, birds start to fly
Autumn trees dance along,
As if it were a song.
The sun casts their shadows on the chilly ground.
Sep 2018 · 153
The End
mer Sep 2018
A burgundy heart
thumps loudly under slick skin;
Droplets of gray rain come running down
a bare chest.

Cold, ****** hands grasp
whatever they can seek,
Lungs gasping for air that gives them nothing;
throat stinging as it screams

Colorless eyes squeeze shut in exhaustion
as sharp crimson pain
floods through;
Screaming in agony

Time halts in its tracks --
Fear floods the mind
as wet, throbbing fingers
lose their grip.

— The End —