Picking petals
like you picked apart
my heart.
each piece drifts
slowly
to the ground
You loved me,
you love me not.

Petal by petal.
Piece by piece.
Till nothing's left
but a vacant stem,
an empty vessel.
Left to wither away
never can be whole again,
can't get back what's been taken.
You loved me.
You love me not.

I envy the flower,
for while it dies
after being picked and torn
to peices.
I survive,
these injuries won't **** me
but I'll never be the same.
so i'll continue picking petals
You loved me.
You love me not.

If my eyes are the window to my soul,
  What do you see?
Do you see the the pain
  And the fears?
Do you see the scars,
  And the tears?
Unshed, holding back everything.
If my eyes are the window to my soul,
Do you see the demons
  Behind my walls?
Do you see my shields
  Ready to burst, to fall?
Down, waiting for a push, a shove.
If the eyes are the window to my soul,
  Then no one is looking.
They don't see anything,
  How hard I try.
They don't see anything, 
  Leaving my soul to die.
Behind the window, behind my eyes.

A mask is what you see
No one knows the real me
No not even I
No matter how I try
the rhymes can mask the pain
but i feel it everyday
trying to break its way
to the surface
and show that what you see
is not the real me
but a mask to cover up
the girl who is lost but,
the walls are holding strong
you cant hear her screams or song
sung painfully and slow
its depressing, i know,
but the truth is so  much worse
than the mask you see first
so keep that mask in mind
when finally breaks the ryhme
broken, fading
faster
loosing control
desiccating
darkness consumes
falling
gone.

I looked back to see when it started,
The loss of my sanity. 
When the demons swarmed in,
And walls went up.
When my tears dried,
And I silently gave up.
When my heart lost a piece, 
And I lost myself. 
When my will became weak,
My mind collapsed in on itself.
It was when I lost you
And everyday since,
I become more lost
With no way to be fixed.

A mistake,
they whispered in their minds
but never said aloud.
A mistake,
it's all she was
they could never be proud.
A mistake,
that started a broken home
where love was rarely found.
A mistake,
that cost them their hopes and dreams,
yanked them off their cloud.
A Child,
who saw the hate and pain
locked behind their eyes.
A Child,
who couldn't make them happy
no matter how she tries.
A Child,
who yearned for love
left to sit alone and cry.
A Child,
who tried to understand
but couldn't figure out why....

It's the feeling of being alone
in a room full of people.
The suffocating, drowning feeling
of the walls closing in.
The claustrophobia outside
with fields of open space.
Being trapped in your mind
with no place to escape.
Not being able to breath
when air is all that surrounds you.
Choking on your own words
to keep your secrets inside.
Wanting someone to reach out
but hiding it all so they don't worry.
A stranger to yourself, when everyone
claims to know who you are.
My anxiety is eating me on the inside
but outside you would never know.
They'll be surprised
when I end up losing it.
When the pain, the emotions, feelings
I can no longer control.

Inside an insane mind,
a place few dare to travel.
the mazes are many, exits few
you'll get lost if you can't handle.
it's dark and its dreary,
with so many turn,
what lies within the walls,
few have yet to learn.
But for those who have wandered
the halls of his mind
no one could comprehend
the horror they'd find.
Throughout this place
lies his demons, his fears
lies all his past selves
throughout all his years.
They are broken and tortured
their souls cracked and bruised,
they just walk the maze like zombies,
lost and confused.
The walls are set high
so you can't climb above it,
the thorns are a barrier
to hinder ones spirit.
If you can make it through
to the exit you'll find
the boy whose always been lost
inside his own mind.
Yet he can't escape,
as he bangs on the walls.
Screaming and fighting
to the outside he calls.
But no one can hear him
as his mind shuts him in,
but others can leave
leaving him alone and broken.

Your words are like a knife
and you hold it to my throat
with the power to end me,
to take my life.
You tear through my skin
slowly, reveling in my pain,
watching the blood
drip down my collar bone,
bleeding me out,
bathing in my blood.
It seeps into your pores
making you stronger,
as I become weak.
And somehow I stay every time,
because right before I'm drained
you pull back the knife
and tell me "I love you."

No matter how fast
or how far 
she would run 
her mind was coming
slowly undone
she tried to escape 
from the pain
from the sorrow
fearing the promises
of tomorrow
knowing that everyday
was always the same
putting on a mask
trying to stay
sane
but faster and faster
unravled her mind
walls slowly cracking
waiting for 
the time
she finally breaks
and lets it all out
the screams
the hatred
all of her doubts
and no one will know
where it all came from
the happy sweet girl
you knew was gone
and in her place
stands broken
stands torn
the girl that was inside
now showing 
her horns

I put words in to rhymes
and I call it poetry
my mind on paper
to help keep my sanity.
You may not like my poems
think they're basic and lacking
but my words are my art
from my heart that is cracking.
If you read through my soul
and find that you can relate
that's all I can ask for
from poets so great.
So give me critiques
cut my words down to size
make them bleed out
the feelings inside.
Help me, don't hurt me
just give me your wisdom
show me how to grow
and I'll feed off your criticism.

Here, take a drag,
  one hit won't **** you.
but it will burn your eyes and throat.
The horrid taste make makes me gag,
I guess I'll take another drag
       blow out the smoke.
  One hit won't **** me,
What about two or twenty?
   burning my lungs
       shortening my breathing
thousand of drags later
I'll hit the floor
Screaming
ONE DRAG WONT **** ME!
THEN HOW MANY WILL?
There are easier ways to die.

He broke her.
Took a knife to her heart,
twisted the blade,
and watched her bleed.
But it wasn't enough.

He broke her.
Chained up her soul,
so tight it cut deep,
and he reveled in her agony.
But it wasn't enough.

He broke her.
He beat her will,
battered and bruised it,
He watched it crumble and crack.
But it wasn't enough.

He broke her.
Tortured her mind
with her own self worth
and watched her go insane.
But it wasn't enough.

He broke her.
Gave her the poison,
helped pull the trigger,
he watched the life leave her eyes.
Was it enough?

He broke her.
And she let him,
giving him everything,
including her last breath.
Was it enough?

Broken's almost whole right?
I'm just missing a couple pieces.
  I just need to tape them up
    never mind the creases.
Lost is almost found right?
I just need to find my way.
Blindly searching
   Tripping over my own feet
     screaming out your name.
Alone is almost together right?
I can hear your laughter clear.
maybe if I pull this trigger
   I'll be with you again
      my dear.