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35
Madaline Aug 2015
35
"He's a nice boy try not to get bored too easily."
You always praise me when I do well when we watch television quiz shows
And you turn around when I am getting undressed; which is ironic as it is not like my body is something that you haven't seen before.
You are a gentleman.
You don't care about negative things people have to say.
Almost feminine in your ways or maybe this society just effeminates the positive qualities that men possess.
I thumb your face it feels smooth, your eyes are small and dark but they feel so honest
Is it Wednesday or Thursday?
Time doesn't exist around you, nothing else really matters around you.
Your almost sociopathic calmness doesn't unnerve me
Getting your life together, from a boy to a man.
Making me feel like I am part of this transition radiates the attraction I feel.
I trust you not to pry through my belongings.
This probably isn't love but what I do feel is new and it is strong.
Thank you for cooking for me and
Thank you for showing me respect
It is all so refreshing, like a cold shower after you've been trapped in the heat all day
I had been trapped in the heat too long

I am so glad that I have you now
Madaline Sep 2014
I feel like I am always gasping for air
The world is choking me
Putting its hands around my neck
Tightening its grip.
I've always felt like I could not breathe
But when it was you smothering me with your love
I should have let it **** me.
Madaline Sep 2014
Do you want tomorrow to come?
Pretty little girl.
Your soft gaunt cheeks,
Harsh jaw.
The heavy burden burns
through those solemn shrunken eyes.
A skeletal silhouette
Weary and worn
**Fragility
Sometimes you just can't help someone
Madaline Sep 2014
When my presence is gone
Slice me open
See the damage I've done
The mistakes.
Yes that I have uttered
Poison inside me
Lingering in every vein
Seeping
Polluting
Corroding
Eroding every inch of
Who I really am
Before everything I snorted, swallowed and sipped.
Elated Negativity
Bitter sweet escape.
Madaline Sep 2014
The fullness of her chest and the gap between her thighs
Regrets of things she couldn't change smeared on her face.
Loyal and loving, longing for normality
Grey draped under her eyes, a penchant for taking a draw
I'm sorry things didn't get better.
I should have done so much more
Madaline Apr 2015
Heartbreaking
Only seeing someone in your dreams is haunting
Your darkest moments feel so lonely
Reaching out but only to grasp memories
Tears seep from nowhere, whenever
And your fondest vivid thoughts will fade
Craving the sound of a voice
Aching for one more embrace
The constant pain is draining
Her
Madaline Dec 2014
Her
Your teeth weren't straight each word you calmly smiled, was uttered from your lips with flawless imperfection
There was something charming about it, knowing you had obvious flaws.
Maybe it made me feel a sense of superiority?
You were more than thin, you were skeletal but it was what you liked, you were proud of it how you never ate, smoked 20 a day and trotted through life
Happy with mediocrity
Tattoos sporadically covered your body, the one on your arm we got together was dirt cheap and poorly done but it suited you
Not because you were cheap but because you weren't perfect you were rugged, it was clear from face value that you you could hold your own
We spent most our time in a drug filled daze of laughter and passion
Your hair was long and corse considering your diet it was in surprisingly good condition
You had a strong accent pronouncing 'Mum' as 'Mam'
It used to irritate me daily but now it is something I miss
Having a house to ourselves yet sharing a single bed
We were truly inseparable
Now we are lifetimes apart
A years gone by now
A year without you hasn't been worth the paper I've written this on
Madaline Sep 2014
You can't see the world through a mirror
Always thinking of yourself.
Forever Number one
Priorities lacking,
Such egotistical vanity
Is it narcissism?
So demanding
Promise lacking.
Trust issues
Oh Mrs self-obsessed
The cards have been determined,
Forever alone.
Always a battle with yourself
But only God can judge
Madaline Sep 2014
A period of transition
Beginning to get cold
Had another birthday
By God i'm getting old
Life is still a journey
No idea where to go
No more making plans
Time to just go with the flow

Learnt so many lessons
Yet failed so many tests
Hurt myself and others
I can't say I'm impressed
I've heard that things get better
and you should wake up every day
By saying
"I am my own person and I will live my life, my way."
Madaline Sep 2014
When the night comes to an end she goes home alone.
She misses the touch of your skin
Craves your smell
Needs your every inch.
Your breath on her neck
Her heart beats only for you.
Longing for just one more chance
She needs you,
Come home.
Sir
Madaline Apr 2015
Sir
"I'm tired of living for other people." he said,
as he brushed his fingerprint vertically down her lip.
The sun drifted behind a cloud
The room began to darken
He recited his strong opinions.

She glanced at his receding hairline
The prematurity of his maturity enticed her.
Scattered thoughts
of the knowledge that his head possessed
clouded her judgement

His wrist up her tights
Her mouth was dry, they leant in
A bitter kiss filled with passionate regret
Looking into his eyes she pressed herself up from the table
and left.
Madaline Nov 2014
It's not that I hear voices
I just imagine it all so slow
The looks upon faces
How it's better when i go

The world without me in it,
Seems such a better place
Free from worldly trouble
With no one on my case

Inadequacy takes over
A cut helps calm the stress
No one understands me
Who have I got to impress?

Forever dreaming of the end
I loathe every inch of myself
Nothing makes it better
Pills, *** or wealth

Too self involved to do the deed
Drowning cannot succeed
Lacking passion never tears
Bland, mundane for all these years
Madaline Sep 2014
I began to resent every second of your company
To end up with the other woman to many, a dream?
A bitter nightmare.
Drenched in self loathing for my actions
I began to slowly abhor you.
Ticking my eyes over you, scouring every inch with hate
Removing your facade,
Every arrogant word you spat,
Your gluttonous ways
Superficial,
Lack of depth.
I detest you

I detest myself for foolishly choosing you.

*Never trade love for lust
Madaline Sep 2014
Pretty girls are a trap
Avoid them at all cost
Beautiful, fancy free
They'll leave you feeling lost

Unless you want to feel broken
Then have this lesson learnt
Stay away from their flame
Or you will end up getting burnt.
Madaline Aug 2015
I do not know if the length of a day is too short or too long.
Either way I feel the fragility of life itself
Sometimes feeling rushed
Other times like forever
Madaline Nov 2014
To hang from every word you utter
Looks you give that cut me
It's real
Touch me. Stop my heart.
My yearn for you should rot my flesh
Pierce my brain with memories
Burn my skin with obbsession
Linger in my thoughts silhouette
Bleed
Cry
Feel
Forever

— The End —