drifting downward,
picked up by a breeze,
floating townward,
with everything at ease,
i envy this feather,
so careless and free,
i'm tied down with leather,
with nothing to see,
a weight in my heart,
a wait in my head,
my dry lips now part,
i'm on my deathbed,
my heart is still hurting,
oh when will it stop,
why can't he stop flirting,
and just set up shop,
inside my arms,
with comfort and love,
where no one will harm,
my one true love.

i am tired,
my eyes start to close,
i feel undesired,
my body is disposed.

i hear the rushing water,
i feel the soft breeze blowing my tresses out behind me,
i see the water falling in slow motion,
every drop has light reflecting through it,
casting the world in a blanket of rainbows.

i hear the roar of the mighty waterfall,
i feel the spray as the water splashes on the jagged rocks,
i see the light cast a heavenly glow on my body,
and on the water in a pattern i cannot understand.

i hear the wind whistling in my ears,
i feel the cool water running over my bare feet,
i see birds dancing in the air like ice skaters on ice,
the clouds above are colored with the vibrant paintbrush of god, the strokes lighting up the world around me.

the waterfall is beautiful, stunning, majestic, breath-taking,
a wonder of god.

i look at you,
i feel your gaze,
it's all brand-new,
i'm now in a haze,
when did this start,
when did this end,
i can hear my own heart,
what's around the bend,
i'm falling in love,
it's a thing i must gain,
it fits like a glove,
it's my turn to reign.

ring
ring
ring
ring
hello?
ring
ring
ring
ring
hello?
ring
ring
ring
ring
a gunshot was heard,
but not by her,
blood gushed out of her face like a grotesque river,
a bullet hole in the side of her head,
maybe we should put down all the technology...
before someone gets hurt...

feel the sun on my neck,
shining on me on the deck,
i hear the breeze,
it's rustling the trees.

see the birds fly away,
across the town and across the bay,
think about the life you've led,
as you lay on your deathbed.

your legacy will live on,
until the last dawn,
you will be know as the great,
but you were used as bait.

i woke up to the sound of my mother's crying,
i knew that she wouldn't be lying,
she said that my poppa is gone,
i feel helpless like i'm just a pawn,
my heart slowly started to break,
my body then started to shake,
i covered up my emotions,
and went through the motions,
i tried not to feel,
to not be real,
now i hurt,
because he's in the dirt.

people come and people go,
they leave me alone.

i feel cold to the bone,
scared and alone.

i am now made of stone,
but inside, i still feel alone.

i feel my cheeks begin to flush again,
as he whispers sweet nothings to me,
feeling so adored and loved,
i can't help but smile,
and close my eyes for a while.

water trickles slowly downward,
into puddles quickly softly,
falling gently onward outward,
current moving promptly strongly,
feeling breezes gently blowing,
dancing water over boulders,
water always always flowing,
seeping creeping up my shoulders,
voices calling under water,
drawing closer hands around me,
eyes now closing time for slaughter,
maybe next time you will flee.

oh,
you who wander,
don't be held back by a leash,
cut yourself free,
for we all are wanderers on the inside,
begging to be let free,
but we are the ones holding on,
to safety,
to comfort,
let go,
and live life,
go,
and wander in wonder.

if i die,
would you care,
if i was eaten by a bear,
would you just stare,
or would you care,
i shouldn't stress,
i'm very blessed,
caught in a nest,
with twigs and thorns,
oh why was i born!

the mask that i put on,
is elaborate and strong,
i've worn it so long,
without it, i feel wrong.

they say that beauty is blonde hair and blue eyes,
they say that beauty is being thin and wearing makeup,
they say that beauty is smiling and not thinking for themselves,
they say that beauty is only there when others say it is,
they say that beauty is not for everyone,
they say that beauty is always being happy,
but that's a lie,
i know that beauty is every hair and eye color,
i know that beauty is every shape and every blemish,
i know that beauty is in a smile and that being smart is a part of it,
i know that beauty is always there,
i know that beauty is in everyone and for everyone,
i know that beauty is letting yourself feel emotions,
i know that everyone is beautiful.

i walk to the stage,
i put on my masquerade,
i take the microphone,
and get in the zone.

i start out slow,
because i know,
that when the tempo gets fast,
i can't make it last.

i blend my voice with the song,
hoping that it'll last all night long,
this is bliss,
give me more of this.

it has been a long day,
a rough day,
your typical Monday,
i rolled out of bed,
and almost hit my head,
my feet feel like lead,
i'm so tired,
but i know it's required,
i'm not inspired,
why school,
why are you so cruel,
you spin me around like a whirlpool,
i hate you,
you are not my boo,
you make me want to spew,
but now today is done,
you think you have won,
but you have been outrun,
by me,
now you should flee,
and i think you would agree.

i am cold,
my hands are numb,
i feel old,
my time is done.

it spreads without a whisper,
at times when the air is crisper,
it creeps along,
until you're long gone,
it takes it's time,
while you're in your prime,
it spreads and kills,
even if you take your pills,
it's a machine with no mercy,
maybe that's a controversy,
it's a disease,
out to **** me.

love,
something powerful from up above,
love,
a feeling,
emotion,
its got you reeled in,
sin,
trouble,
forbidden,
no,
love,
from up above,
its come to cover you,
smother you,
until all you can think about is love,
love,
oh sweet love,
but love is also a weapon,
made to pierce your heart till it bleeds,
but why does it have to hurt so bad,
you feel like you're being torn apart,
piece,
by piece,
until a new lover comes along with a new weapon of love to torture you with,
it's a cycle that cannot stop,
and you don't want it to.

tick-tock,
tock-tick,
these old clocks are making me sick,
tick-tock,
tock-tick,
time is running out now take your pick,
tick-tock,
tock-tick,
come on now make it quick,
tick-tock,
tock-tick,
there is no longer any time,
or any rhyme,
your time has ended,
and it can't be mended.

long way to go,
we're now on low,
get me out of here,
take the wheel and steer.

i feel the pain of judgement,
i feel the burning eyes of the "normals",
i feel abandoned,
i feel as if no one likes me,
as if I just don't belong,
i have a few friends and that's all,
i'm the "******",
homeschooled and apparently homeschoolers have no friends,
that's what they all think,
i miss my home,
my friends,
my old life,
i hate technology sometimes!
it's a wall between real people,
even with "friends" people are on their phones talking to people they aren't with!
they don't talk with the people that are standing right there!!
why can't this generation be different?
why can't we all just talk,
really,
really talk,
i want this so badly,
i've been on the outside for so long,
and it's because people are scared,
and stupid,
they can't see what's right in their face,
they can't see that i'm hurting alone,
alone with my hurting soul.

sounds are of the essence,
of life,
love,
and all of the above,
we laugh,
we cry,
we say goodbye,
we listen,
to words,
to the oceans roar,
to the crickets at night,
we listen,
to the breathing of an infant,
we listen,
to the wind in the trees,
we listen,
to the i do that changed you forever,
we listen,
to life.

waste of time,
i hear my phone chime,
my time is gone,
working until dawn,
time to say hi,
when I really want to say bye,
it's now bedtime,
but for me that doesn't mean downtime,
yea, it's a waste of time.

the silence in the dead of night,
is sometimes as bright as a light.
it's quiet,
but so loud.

the cars along the highway,
slowly making their trek up a hill.
honking and yelling.

the wind,
whistling through the trees making me shiver.

the occasional plane,
going on its merry way up in the sky.

the low hum that always seems to be in the air.

the bright lights of the city,
blinding me.

the headlights carving the way along a dark path.

all the lights on in a house,
makes night seem like day.

night is supposed to be quiet and dark,
did humans have to ruin that too?

across the sky i see a star,
and then i watch it go so far,
it shoots across the sky so fast,
it heats my face with a mighty blast,

the sight took my breath away,
now i feel quite astray,
the sight was such a pretty one,
now i know my life is done.

i feel like a music box,
only coming alive to your touch,
when you go away,
so do i,
to a place in my mind,
where it's cold and dark,
but there you are again,
with your golden fingers,
lighting me up,
and bringing the song to my lips,
letting me live.

i try to do what i am told,
i try to be bold,
i try to escape the cold,
i try to fit in the mold,
but, behold,
i am uncontrolled,
i am free,
to be me,
to see,
to flee,
from from it all,
i am free.

random words spilling out,
a nine kilometer cloud,
it is something that i must shout out,
it wasn't until the final bow,
when i realized that life is so short,
i think i need to abort,
not a baby,
just reality,
for a while make me smile,
a nine kilometer cloud,
it made me frown,
it pulled me down,
a nine kilometer cloud

open your heart to feel,
free yourself in my touch,
i’m loosing myself in your eyes of teal,
don’t give up on me, i love you so much.
baby, you’re my star,
the essence of beauty,
i know you’ve been scarred,
but loving you is my duty,
let all your fears melt away,
loose yourself in my kiss,
don’t let your feeling sway,
let yourself feel this bliss.

run from your life,
run from the strife,
escape the pain,
there's nothing to gain,
from the hurt in your heart,
it's time to get smart,
pack your bags,
renew your tags,
speed away in your car,
it'll only leave a scar,
don't worry about her,
the reminder of who you were,
leave that life behind,
empty out your mind,
don't rethink,
you're on the brink,
it's a new chapter,
just think after.

there is never silence,
always something humming,
buzzing,
creating a melody for the world to sing,
and when someone is off beat,
the world adapts and belts out a new tune,
so there is never silence,
i wonder what silence really is,
i suppose I'll know when I die.

"love is not an emotion, love is what makes us human."
-faith

he said that he liked me, maybe even loved me.
i said the same.
but then he let me be.
said that he couldn't be tamed.

i said that it didn't matter.
i told him i loved him now.
he said he saw a pattern.
and that he had to move on somehow.

but not with me.
the one who loved him.
he'd rather let me be.
then go out on a whim.

don't ****,
don't take that pill,
you're worth it,
even though you're in a pit,
god will get you through,
when you're feeling blue,
he loves you,
he's in view,
love him,
when you're feeling like you're out on a limb,
he will save,
please don't cave,
the sun is shining on his face,
we are saved by his grace,
don't be a slave,
don't bury yourself in that grave,
get up,
he is your backup,
he is love,
he pours it on us from above,
don't believe them,
you're a gem,
you are worth it,
please don't quit.

sometimes friendship is like a flower,
full for a while,
but then it starts to loose its color and beauty,
until there is nothing left,
but a vague memory of what it once was.

my life is in the sun, the moon, and the stars.
i'm in the dark for half, and light for the other.
i cannot change the unchangeable.
but i can express my life to you.
it's been rough.
down in the dumps.
But don't get depressed, I'm just dramatic sometimes.
I'm loved, but I still feel unloved.
I've had to change, myself, and my surroundings for other people.
But I have a life, a future.
A bright, bright future just waiting for me.
I can't wait for my life to begin.

i am young,
so loved,
i am dumb,
so far from above.

i am fun,
so i party,
i am done,
so i stop the party.

i am mad,
so i yell,
i am sad,
o i fell.

i am love,
so i look up,
i am free like a dove,
so i had better shape up,
i need your love,
wrap me in your embrace,
now i kiss your sweet, sweet face.

boom boom,
feel the bass in the room,
clap clap,
get ready for it then snap,
listen to the music,
then go out and do it,
hear the drum thrum,
put on a smile don't be glum,
mouth the words,
then sing like that caged bird.

crashing.
pain.
silence.
that is the life of a human being.

the beat guiding me,
it drops and becomes ever more sweet,
i feel happy,
listening with my soul,
passionately,
hoping and praying the song will be longer this time,
i'm happy,
and i know this doesn't rhyme,
but i'm happy to be alive.

what is joy?
is it music in your headphones?
is it the face of a little boy?
is it feeling renewed strength in your bones?
is it laughing for the first time in forever?
is it being applauded for your part in a play?
is it knowing that your past is in the place of never?
is it giving love to a stray?
i believe that joy is all of these and none at all,
joy is found in god and god alone,
joy is found in something small,
maybe joy is something we'll find when we're grown.

he sent me a letter,
it made me feel better,
his letters are from far away,
down by the coast and down by the bay,
he said hello,
and he wanted to know,
if I still loved him,
or if this was now something more grim,
he knew that I had been depressed,
more like extremely stressed,
he now is coming to visit,
but I won't be explicit,
now he is here,
i have nothing to fear,
he now holds me to his chest,
as i take in a new breath,
this is love,
it fits me like a glove,
i hope this isn't a dream,
or a huge scheme,
he is my other half,
the one who makes me laugh,
he is my friend,
please don't let this end,
his letters are from far away,
down by the ocean's spray,
he said he had something to remind me of,
that we are the definition of true love.

how am i to know if i love you?
how am i to know if i want to?
how am i to know if you want me?
how am i i to know if you love me?
~
these questions swarm in my head,
but all i want is you in my bed,
i know that for sure,
don't make me use a lure
come on home to me,
then i'll let you go and let you be.

why,
oh why,
did you have to fly,
fly high,
so high,
into the night,
left me there,
so scared,
we had something we shared,
now i'm scared,
so scared,
why,
oh why,
did i let you go,
well now i know,
that once you go,
you're in a place where no one knows,
where you are,
maybe you're in the stars,
far,
so far,
away,
from here,
why.

i close my eyes and feel a breeze,
then hear the buzzing of the bees,
i touch the towline of the swing,
then toss my head and start to sing,

"oh joy! how much i love the air,
The wind that tangles up my hair,
oh yes! how much I love the grass,
a pane of fuzzy looking glass,"

i wake up to the sun and clouds,
the sound of water and roaring crowds,
the water swiftly rushes as it goes on by
i sigh to myself and look to the sky.

the rock is revived by the water that crashes,
the water that swirls and twirls and lashes,
the same can be said of our own lives,
revived by the words and stanzas and lines,
but beware of the snares and beware of the knives,
because they are the people that want us to hide.

i hear a whisper,
i feel a kiss,
the air is crisper,
yes this is bliss.

life is so short when you think about it.

i love you from the bottom of my heart,
i hope this love never tears us apart,
you light me up,
remember the teacups?
we're meant to be,
like snow on my ski's,
you're perfect,
when i see you we just click,
i only see you in my future,
with your awful sense of humor,
i bet this all sounds super cheesy and cliche,
but it's because the cliche is true,
it all applies,
i love you.