I think I miss you,
But then I re-think it.
And I see I miss the things I was able to do with you,
I miss the way you tried to make me feel when I was sad sometimes,
I miss the way you loved me until some point.
But I don’t miss you.
I just would like to have what I miss back,
But I can’t,
‘Cause that would mean I would have to have you again.
And I don’t want that.
I don’t want that pain again.
I only want the happy things you were able to give me.
I want the piece you took out of me,
The love you took out of me.
But I can't have it back.
So tell me,
Will I be able to love again without everything that is missing?

We are all humans right?
Humans with fears,
Humans that shed tears.

Humans that should be treated equally,
Humans that shouldn't have to suffer without reasons.
Humans that have the right to choose what they believe in or not.

So why isn't this happening?
Why are we not being treated equally?
Why are we suffering without reasons?
Why are we being stopped from having the right to choose what we believe in?

Why all this?
This shouldn't happen.
This can't keep happening.

But I know I can't do it alone.
I need you.
They need you.

People are being tortured right now,
They're suffering so much right now.
They need us.

It might be them today,
But tomorrow it can be you or me.
And do you actually feel alright not doing anything about this?
Do you feel good not helping your own kind just because it isn't you or someone you know in person?

Do they deserve this?
Would we deserve it?
Being hurt for wanting to believe in what we want?
For having free will?

Is that a reason to be tortured?
To be killed?
To have our loved ones taken out from us and have them being hurt?
To be thrown away into prison?
To be brainwashed?
To be taken out everything we cherish and love?

No!
It is not,
And it'll never be a reason.

You and me know that.
Now spread the word,
And make the difference.

If you really call yourself,
An human being,
Let's end this tyranny.

To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when you're craving for me to be by your side~
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It doesn't matter where you're, or where you think you're, I'm always here with you, writing, loving, giving you my support in everything I can. I know it's hard sometimes, when you want to hold me at night, or when you want a hug after going through some rough moments, when you want to cry on my shoulder, or when you just want to feel my hand holding yours. I know it's hard. And sometimes the word hard is not even enough to describe it. It is the same for me as well, I feel it inside of me, all that pain you have, I mean how couldn't I? How could I not feel anything? I do feel it, Love I do know what it takes to handle it, I do know you. And I know you can do it, you know that. You know as well that while I'm alive, I'll stay with you, I'll write for you, I'll love you. I'm here. Just wait for me.
                                                 
         ­                                         Sara Leal
                                                           ­                                      08/02/18

To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when someone precious to you betrayed your trust~
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Look Honey, I'm going to be honest with you like I've always been. When we trust someone there's always that chance that the trust we gave is going to be broken, turned into little pieces you can't seem to catch anymore. Because we're only humans, and humans tend to do the most beautiful things, but the most horrible ones as well. It happens, people come and go, take and throw away, even the most precious and irreplaceable things to them, nothing we can do about it. Maybe you'll break someone's trust some day as well, or maybe you won't, but there's a pretty big chance it'll happen, because we all have that chance on us. But Darling, trust is to give and take whenever you want, whenever you feel like you have reasons for it or not. So don't be upset about this, it's going to happen again, but everything is going to be okay, I know that. And if you want to trust them again, do it, if you don't want to, well don't be afraid to be human and hurt others as well. Do whatever you want to, while you can. I'll be here with you no matter what you choose to do.
                                                 
         ­                                         Sara Leal
                                                           ­                                      01/02/18

To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when you feel like you have no more reason to stay alive~
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Hey! Cheer up! It's just a bad moment, a really bad one. I know you can pass through it and later on you'll see that it wasn't that bad. I do know because I also have those moments, when I just want to break down and let go everything. So I know that right now it is that bad, with all those negative thoughts inside your head, with all those voices screaming that you're in pain, that you're not needed, that you want to get away from all this. Don't do that, don't get away from it, don't let those voices get to you, it's not your time yet, you have a lot that you should fight for. You have a lot of reasons to keep going and I'm one of them as you're one for me. And remember, I'm here with you. You're not alone in this.
                                                 
       ­                                           Sara Leal
                                                           ­                                      24/01/18

To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when you feel like crying~
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Crying is the best way to let out some pain of old and new scars. So cry everything you have to, so you can heal some more, and keep going straight, even when the tears are an unpleasant sea that you think you can't handle.
                                                   Sar­a Leal
                                                           ­                                      17/01/18

When you look me up close you see nothing.
That's what I want people to know.
Nothing about me.
That's how it should be.

They.
Them.
They are here.
And everything is because of them.
They control everything and anything.
The reason is from them.
They hurt you,
If you try to hurt me.
They hurt me,
If I try to hurt you.
The dolls inside of me love you,
But they hate you.
D o l l s.
They live inside of me,
And get out whenever they want to.
Sooner or later they always come back,
Because I am my dolls,
And they are me.
Do what they tell you to.
Only them can control what is ours.
Live with the thought that you can't escape.
Lie like you believe me.
So you can answer me like you mean it.

Now, do you know my dolls?
*And where are yours?

I try to be just something, but I never get it.
I never get that thought,
That right thing,
That bad thing,
That I have no idea of what it is.
I can never catch that moment,
When you hold my hand like there's no tomorrow,
Like I'm unique,
Special.
I can never appreciate you like I know you deserve.
I can never love you less.
I can never stop of feeling alive with you.
I can never not want you.
It's your fault,
I know it is.
And even with all this I never get it,
I can't be just something,
Because you make me feel much more than that.
You make me feel like someone,
Someone that exists.

... no...
I can't find myself anymore.

**I don't know who I was to being with.

Big Teddy Bear,
This is for you.

Big Teddy Bear,
I love you.

Big Teddy Bear,
I'm addicted to your voice.

Big Teddy Bear,
I want to hug you until I'm dead.

Big Teddy Bear,
I would wait forever for you.

Big Teddy Bear,
I'm insane.

Big Teddy Bear,
I hope you know everything about me.

Big Teddy Bear,
I look forward to our future.

Big Teddy Bear,
Don't leave me, please.

Big Teddy Bear,
Heal me from your scars.

Big Teddy Bear,
Hold my hand.

Big Teddy Bear,
I promise.

Big Teddy Bear,
I won't let our love end.

Big Teddy Bear,
Don't send me away.

Big Teddy Bear,
I may be crazy.

But **Big Teddy Bear,
I love you so much.

What will happen when I'm not enough for you?

Now I got used to it.
To all pain and tears,
To all scars and fears.

Now I got used to it.
To my life without a meaning,
To my life without the act of smiling.

Now I got used to it.
To being hated by myself,
To not being loved by you.

Now I got used to it.
To being an useless human.

It's so sad,
How I keep lying to myself,
And I know it.

You were not "everything to me" after all.

Saying "I miss you",
Won't change anything.
You miss because you had
And you lost.
To this game called love.

There's always a next time.

Words** can **** you,
But thoughts can actually make you suffer until you wish you were dead.
So would you prefer to die by words,
Or thoughts?

"That isn't poetry, it's just thoughts on paper"
That's why my opinion it's different of yours.
That's why everyone has their own opinion.
If it's not poetry for you,
It is for me.

Memories fade*,
Right?
Wrong.
My memories of you,
Didn't.

Maybe I'm just a frustrated woman who doesn't love in a normal way.

Love makes you do stupid things.
Love it's stupid by itself.**
So why do I want it so badly?

She,
Why nobody helped **her?
She helped everyone that she knew that needed help,
So why didn't anyone help her?
She was so happy,
With her beautiful and honest smiles,
With her deep and sincere feelings.
She was a beautiful person.
She was,
She's not anymore.
For one simple reason,
She didn't know how to help herself.

She* gave too much to others,
And forgot about herself.

I thought you were different.
*You just made sure I was wrong.

Can someone take this pain away?
I want to forget everything.
But at the same time I don't want to.
It was so beautiful,
But it ended so tragically.
Why do the most beautiful things end?
Why do the perfect moments end up being just memories?
It seems it was yesterday that everything began.
But actually,
It was yesterday that everything ended.
It hurts.
So *can someone take this pain away?
**Please?

Losing you hurts.
But I actually didn't lost you,
You let me go.
And I can't do anything about it,
It was your decision.
I have to be comprehensive.
I have to.
Even when I don't want.

There's a depressive side of me?
No.
That's how I'm.
When I'm not like that,
Is when I'm really pretending.

Wings.
I was supposed to have wings?
If I was then I probably have a problem.
Because I don't have them.
I never did.
Can I still be called an angel?
A fallen angel.
That's the name I received for not having wings.
Wings.
I wanted to have them.
Tell me,
How does it feel to fly?
Without pain?
Without problems?
Without tears?
Without scars?
Without a broken heart?
I want to know,
Because that's all the things my mom felt.
I was born like this because of her.
Without wings.
She broke her wings before I was born.
She suffered so much.
But she just wanted to prevent me of suffering like her.
Well,
I'm sorry mom.
But you failed.
Without wings I'm even worst than you were.

I fell,
Deep down.
I wanted to fly.
But my broken wings didn't let me.

Ink.
You're my ink.
A book.
I'm your book.
Write on me.

Another blank page,
Where my heart should be.

What my mouth can't say,
**I will be sure my poems do.

My life is a book.
**A blank one.

With that words.
**I almost believed you.