And I do not regret
Every tear I let come out while you were looking at me
Those were my feelings
I do not regret feeling any of it
And I know it's a process now
I did have the courage to express everything I needed to.
You're the coward
And you won't get far with that
And maybe not now
But you will regret it
And if you don't do it with me
You will with someone else
I'm glad I got through this
And now it may not be straight but it's not with you anymore
I feel like I'm being eaten by my thoughts
I think this is my loneliness speaking
And I just feel kinda empty when no one is talking to me
Is this being needy?
I don't enjoy it
My head feels like it's about to explode
With all my daily hipocrisia
I just feel so far away from all the things I want
And pressured with the stuff I have to do
Is this adult life?
Been here for a while
But this feels different
Quitting is not even an option
But I'm not moving forward
What is this?
Fear it's not since I've been on the **** situations so many times
I know I can deal with them
Then what is it?
Was something inside of me destroyed?
I feel like I'm on a self-bubble and it's quite hard to have will to even go to ***
That's the level of outrageous
What am I doing?
What am I missing?
It's hard to look at myself
It's hard to think about myself
It's hard not to hate myself
And I don't wanna cry
But the tears fall before I can even wipe them away
I wish someone could understand me
Or worship me shall I say?
What the hell do I want?
What do I need to have to feel any different from this?
Love is ****
Happiness is not enough or even limitless
The world is cruel
And I don't know what I'm becoming in all this
I really don't perceive myself as a good person
Am I victimizing myself?
What am I doing?
I don't know where I began
I don't see an end
It's really hard you know?
What am I even doing?
I don't wanna die
But what am I living for?
Maybe I was just drowning in the thought of you,
Of what I made myself think was you.
I didn't see any flaws
And if they tried to appear I'd just cover them with tape and say they were okay.
That I was fine with whatever pain you made me go through.
But that's a lie only I can admit.
It was a truth for so long in my head,
That I didn't really know the possibility of this.
Of all this being what it is.
It's all inside my head,
That "I've never loved someone like you",
It's all in my head.
Ate me alive for 3 months,
When I realize,
I'm not your food,
Or anyone's food.
I'm not food at all.
And I'm not going to let this feeling eat me anymore.
I quit love.
I quit this self lie.
I hope I don't ever see you again.
My heart doesn't think,
And that's ****,
So imma take it out.
I'm into bleeding,
So I'll take the opportunity and let some come out before I close the hole.
You say it's impossible to survive?
I was never into living anyways.
If I dye my hair pink
Do you think my emotions will turn innocent?
Do you even perceive pink as a innocent color?
What do you want me to be?
I'll be it just to get your attention,
Just to get your time.
Give me sugar,
So I can bleed and be sweet at the same time.
Sugar doesn't heal,
But it makes you feel better for some time.
But I'll only eat it until I feel full.
I don't wanna get fat,
So I'll throw you out too.
I'll dye my hair black then,
So you know you'll never see me again.
Cause black is a mean color,
And you're not into mean girls