I really miss you
I wish I could write down everything I want to say to you
I wish I didn't feel embarrassment when I think about how long I'm missing you and how much this song reminds me of you, how your love of nature disconnects me from anyone who feels the same and how I wish I didn't feel guilty when my sadness becomes beauty to others. How I wish that when I am trying to express how much I miss you and that I'm sad about you being gone they wouldn't take advantage. You didn't.
I really miss you
I miss the smell of your clothes when you just woke up
I miss rubbing my nose on your shoulder so I can be immersed in your smell
I regret it
Because the smell of detergent makes me want to break down and cry
I miss having you by my side
I miss your sweet smile
I don't say it enough
Because I didn't say it enough when you were around
I miss you because you were pure
And now I hate to turn this all towards me
Because now I'm rotten
Now I'm vile
And every good thing that you were that I see in other men and in myself
Repulses me to know end
Because you left me
You left everybody
And I cannot forgive
This will be until the end of my life
On and off
You're a bulb that's not dying and the switch is broken
I miss you
I miss you so ******* much
I wish you were around so that I could wish you dead
I wish you fought back death so that you could live until the end
With all of us
Your friends
Be with us
Why did you leave?
Why are you gone?
Why are you dead?
The only thing that has come of this tragedy
Is narcissism
You're gone
And I'm staying.
I'm surviving
I'm not thriving
I'm not steering
I'm not the same beautiful soul
You stupidly fell for
No, I am not the same.
But I am not dead
And that is what I wish you were instead.
Not dead.

The changed seem unreal
It seems to be changing me into some kind of monster
Life
I am so aware of the changes in me
If only I could see it in others as well
Then we could be tender
And meaty
Love could be changed
And life could be dreamy
Some kind of connection is what I crave
But I only see myself in the mirror
And imagine sometimes
That my blurry eyes
Are windows
Into someone else's life

The most beautiful thing
You can do for me
is to love
In slow motion

I'm not tired
There is time
For friendship and love
To coexist
In this sphere
Where the last thing you say is
"Take care"
Every night
With consistency and feeling
Waiting for the right moment
When there will be no more waiting
There is a dream in my heart
That I didn't realise existed
When the truth became my priority
And hearing my real voice
Without pretensions
And hearing laughter
As acceptance, not condescension
Hopeful creatures that we are
There is a place for love
And friendship
There are no real endings
Only wonder
And excitement

I won't pull the trigger back
My finger is on it
Your beauty
Is so intoxicating
I forgot why I had the gun
Loaded dice
Is what I am
Always landing
On the thought of your mouth
Sensually breathing
Your words into my ear
I usually say 'No'
But you're saying the worst things

Hidden treasure inside my chest
Sadness is easy to wear
It's ugly and invisible
It blends into the grey cement wall
I wear sadness from ear to ear
Nothing calms me more than an unfortunate event
"I've been expecting you"
And I will smile unfortunately at the orderly chaos
The formula is this
Expect the worst out of every situation
But be there for it
Because you long to prepare your body
To harden it for the sharp slap across your face
Telling you "Wake up"
But you will just laugh
As though in a good dream

Base feelings are monsters that live in my cage
I always draw second
I unveil
Virginity is a useless sacrifice
So, nobody feels uneasy anymore
Oh they know what self-adoration is
Yet, you are all about the crippling spine that needs to jettison out my back. Crack!
Fear is what fuels your 1962's Colt with stolen gasoline
When I ride it I am on the minute
It drops me off on the line of fire
Flames light up in my lungs
You shout "Here are my reasons, understand, see"
That creeping sensation of the ugliest kid in class watching me behind my ear
Makes me horrified
A basket case of emotion
I cannot stress enough
It's the things I do not want to happen
Like resurrecting insects and then killing them again
Nightmare to my time so I stop moving, like, paralyzed
Fearful is the edge of the knife
Peeling back my ***** as I feel its blade cuts thin
Every slice a feeling creeping in
It abuses my skin
Replaced by a shroud of music that I sing to wheedle out
So you can continue to say I "Live in sin, live in sin"
You needed me afraid, so I became brave
You needed me small, so I became big

How am I going to know all the things you want
You know I don't know how to read your mind
It's a struggle eating this rice
All I am is just them and the same
Heavily rest your breath on mine
My mouth touches yours and it blows my mind
I feel as if you can tell me all your secrets
But all I know is that there's so much kept
You were always just too open about nothing
Eyes
lids touching each other
Breaking his heart
Just so you could sweettalk peace out of war
Your heart was never open to any
But your ambition was forgotten when you saw the light of the exit sign
Settle down in my arms

Understand
I poured myself
Into your cup
Not for the pucker of your lips
But for the finding
Of your tongue
So speak

My graces are not fulfilled when you are trying your best to assume that I am not confident, or smart and capable.

I am not sure if I need to label myself to be any of those characteristics but I know that I have pure faith.

It is undeniable that the world is not only senseless in the best of ways but that I am senseless in the oddest ways

How I want to be a guru in tidying. I can't tidy yet. My room is done but fails the standards and hopes I have for it.

Much like a child, who fails the standards and hopes parents had for her.

Many times I hope only to speak the truth and not in earnest. I hope to speak the truth in truth. Present tense.

Future tense is my enemy because the future never happens. She only disappears once within reach to turn into the horrible truth that is present day. She only then transfigures herself into disappointment when she has passed to become Past.

My former best friend called me a downer. I am, until today, a downer to those who I thought were my friends. I guess the standards and hopes were not met for my friends to be sponges of my anger.

I am not done. My anger, palpable. To those who don't know me, I seem quiet and nervous and sometimes laughing on the inside. Hopefully people notice.

Presently I aim to live outwardly and without gentility. Rough and troubled was my youth. Mud and tumble is/was my trademark. I want that from now on. To live in authenticity and without any restraints. A bull in the field. Explosive.

I can't believe all those times I let myself love
Open heart
Deserted parts
Broken pieces
Left to dry out
Like roses
For novelty?
For beauty?
For suchs stupid reasons
I can't begin to express how utterly egotistical it all is
Just because you're gone
Does not mean you are dead to me
You are alive and well
You are in my caged heart
You are the matter in my skull
You are the dirt under my nails
As I imagine
The world to be your grave

How can my feet hold up all my weight?
From my sick mind
To my weak heart
To my bloated stomach
To my heavy hands
My used ******
My tired legs
If the gods asked for my soul
I would say no
Take my feet
They will decide for you the weight my life

How can my feet hold the weight of my whole life?
I haven't got a clue how to be lighter
I'm sorry feet for being so tall and wide
You're only average sized
You'll have to give me my bearings
Bear with me
You'll need to carry me
When I have fallen down
You'll need to take me there
Even if I'm going nowhere
The other parts of my body have been carried by you to places
You've touched all kind of floors
Worn shoes out
Climbed flights of stairs
Rubbed against other feet
That's the only glamour this life
That and soft socks

And if I had no feet
I would need to make new ones anyway
Then my body would act as feet
Or my knees would act as feet
Trickling up it's strength to give me the grounded feeling we all seek

Pretty feet that have gone far in life
Working feet that have stayed put
Solid Feet who tread mountainous terrain
Broken feet which always are what a heart feels like only sometimes hopefully
If my spirit is broken
My feet don't dance
If my legs are crossed because they don't care to move
My feet will care for you
Bobbing up and down
In impatience
Waiting for changes
So she can plant herself down again
Allowing me to stand up for what I believe
Firmly planted on the ground
Prepared to do or not do
Prepared to walk with dignity
Prepared to run for my life

While my hands will always know the pleasantness of play
My favorite part of the day
Is when I take off my shoes
And they two are free to walk on wood
To rub against the fabric of my sheets
Feel the belly of my pet
To sleep
Till they wake again
They are the first to rouse
When they touch down
I know I can take on the day
To stand on my own two feet

It's the ones that get away that make you tap your ink on the screen
Helping themselves to servings of you to have you mercilessly dream
Succulent messy dishes that they mean to say
Descriptive rich adjectives that blur your mind away
So they devour you and everything you want to leave behind
They don't mean to but they say clearly what you are defined
They have all the hospitals holding broken hearts
And have you heard the rumors that they have no good start?
They are always in the middle
They never start or end
Forever making amends
Forever till they stop
Pretending is enough
If pretense is present tense
It's enough that they see you for who you are
It's enough if they find a real star
Blue and gaseous
They are so away so far

When we feel love
We feel pain as well
Pain from the ecstasy of feeling
Wanting to feel pain
As a result of guilt from being too happy
We end up thinking too many things
So why? My question is 'why?'
Why love?
When there is no escaping from the jaws of love
The hungry, starved lion of love
That seeks to be caressed and nurtured
The bawling infant, love
That is assumed to be a perfect child
Until it demands for more than your attention
She will grow to break your heart.
She will take from you everything
She will give back so close to your death
As you age and lose sensation in your hands
She will hold them
Her smile will reflect your missing teeth
Her tears will make you feel again
'O child' you will croak
'I see His face'
Her questioning eyes will ask
Of what grace, of what reason
Did you love this life?
When everything laced with God does but live
You have lost your sight
Your eyes betray your lack of grasp on reality
A stormy charade of time
Takes you slowly
Why? My question is 'why?'
Why love?
So far removed am I from Him
O mother leave me not
During this time of navigating the rocky waters of life
My soul will be laid out to dry
I need to be drenched by your presence
I long to remove all trace of sadness
All my memories were of the golden youth
That is locked in heaven
Returned to me only after the promise of death
O dear Lord why? My question is 'why?'
Why love what He must eventually take?
I am not finished
This question seeks wisdom
And wisdom is carved marble
It will be revealed in the end

There is a wonder I have of creatures
The sky is ridden with stars
Can they see them?
And do they wonder and awe at the dots on what should be a blank sky

There is a wonder I have of mine
Is their dreaming before the dawn of time?
Are we dreaming in utero?
Who created our dreams?
Was there ever a time we did not exist
Is the past but a figment?

I am adapting
So I never have to suffer your insults
Jests that come out of no where
That ride my eyes like a valley of soft peaches
Pure
You are pure
Everything I ever wanted
Cure
You're the cure
Everything I ever needed
Who am I to judge the ones that cover their faces
With hasty foundations on sand
I am an oasis
Where is your island?
Pure, you are pure
Everything I ever wanted
Cure, you're the cure
Everything I ever needed
You are casting a shadow on my eye
You are the lightning in my cloud
Above me, you make it rain
I will always call you vain
Sure
You are sure
You are everything I ever wanted
Pure
You are sure
You are everything I had wanted

My heart beats for nothing
It beats to a rhythm that suits it
It is not fickle
It has no favorites
When it goes thump thump fast
It makes an effort to slow down
When its rhythm feels off
It tries to catch up and make up for lost time
When it feels pleased
It is immediately humbled
Or dissatisfied
My heart does not belong to my body
My body belongs to my heart.

Desiring material things from this world
Instead of love and passions
Logic trumps everything
Being reasonable heals the mind
From the beating of the heart

The world has less to offer
When you strive for paradise
There’s something about the way
The waves undulate towards me
Coaxing me to die

I don’t like to read books that strain my heart
It would be such a waste of my precious peace of mind
If I even start
The song he’s singing
Helps me get over a heartbreak I’m remembering

I wish I had a lovely home
And a modern body
I get lost in these beautiful things
My brother told me love brings out the worst in us
And I didn't know that until you were dead
Wish I could describe the feeling in my head
Where my eyes are crying no more no more
There’s no heart in here
Instead it’s a bed made of lead
These are the things I hear
The hurtful truths they don’t spare
They are my medicine that daily I ingest

The more i refuse to think

The less I feel

And somedays the feels aren’t important

But somedays I realize it isn’t organic anymore

That I’ve lost the ability to be

Catharsis is not unreal

Ennui can be vital

I am a contradiction of feelings

Because feelings don’t have continuity

They pass moment to moment

And it’s alright if you don’t catch them immediately

Pray for me

Because I don’t believe

Have faith in me

I don’t know how the feelings flow

I don’t know when it will hit me

I don’t know because I’m not in her shoes

When she finally took them off to jump

And gravity had it’s natural effect

I don’t know what that feels like

And I wish they were still alive to tell me they wish they hadn’t

metaphorical balaclava
Something you said last night
SMS
SMH
Wired brain
Wired body
Let's go get some tonight
OK
I said OK
Let's runaway
We're not gonna get married
But I love the way you make me feel
Alive
Alive again
Alive
Immoral
Untied
Breaking the rules
And it's not for you
I'm not doing it for you
It's so beautiful

I'm very scared of being lost
I'm terrified if I don't belong anywhere
Is there something I was not taught?
That I don't fit into the me shaped peg-hole
It's truly a struggle to become myself
I have no assurance that life will become what I have dreamt of it
I have no insurance because I have chosen to take the risk
Still, I live
I will go on living
In this will is my hope
That the path does not adapt to me
I did not choose what is easy
I will become like liquid to the path
And take it whichever way I am led
It is a path, is it not?
It is a way to somewhere
While I feel like nowhere
My goal is plain in sight
It only takes focusing my eyes
To the way that's right

I'm not saying I don't think of you
I don't need to hear what you think of me
You've told me countless times how much you like me
But I'm just not buying it

How am I to discover to you
That I'm just not the girl for you
Because if I reveal to you
That I'm not into you
Then I'd be hurting your feelings

I'm not just some girl
I'm just not THE girl
Let me translate that for myself:
You're not just some guy
You're just not THE guy

Many times, I have pondered
Whether or not marriage is for me
Upon dating you once
I can say
I still am wondering

So that's me
I want to be somebody
I don't want to be somebody to you

Asking you to kiss me in your car
Wasn't a confession of admiration
I have a lot of walls up
That makes my confession a riddle
Easy to solve but beneath it is the truth

I have something I need confess
I'm a mess
Still, the fact that I'm an insecure mess doesn't mean I need reassurance that I'm not one
I don't need to hear that you like me
I don't need to kiss you and I don't need to let you know that I don't need a man
Take this like a man

I'm not into you

My body feels like a cavity
One-Trick Pony
Taking every comment
Personally
Does it take sadness
Anger To create
Madness
Address every blurt

I won't give you money
So you can feel the power it gives me
We'll take you to the therapist
And you can discover the crutch of medication
We'll smile when you're fine
You better do what we want
That can be a sign of an happy home life

There are many thoughts that escape my conscience
I don't know where they escape to
The deep parts of my mind that I don't visit?
I try to think disconcerting thoughts
Rather than exercise my memory
I think my mind is strong
And it will be an ***** that will remain functioning
Once I turn into a vegetable
My mind will function and sin
It will fantasize fetishistic acts
Plot ******
Question God
Think condescending thoughts
When my father who is very kind
Cries over my cold unmoving mass
I will curse people I don't like with satan's words
I will write my eulogy
And no remorse will pass my preoccupied mind
And then let's see what will happen when I wake up
A new woman
Ready to ****.

Flowers growing
In my hair
Your hands
Running through
My mind

Snow falling
Styrofoam
It's like knowing
Going home
Where is home?
Do you have my address?

Hollow laugh
Sleep in ****
It's afternoon
We're at the park

So I said
Where's the next bus
Going back
To the way I came from

Shadow sleep
I'm lost in labyrinths
I can't speak
In tongues

Hope we pass
You are in my way
Hope we pass
Into who we are

This salt is beautiful, crystallized spice
Flavor and glint
It pierces my eyes
Somewhat like a diamond
A fragment too small
Everything is added
With this grain of salt
When your skin is salty
It has the quality of the sea
Vast and wide and full
Full of sympathy
When I look at a mound of salt
It speaks to me of life
Life's sins become absolved
The dead need this solution
Keeping from decay
Celebrated salt adds to everything it sprays
Pain and flavor are hand in hand with salt
A wound, and slab of meat prefer the rougher brand
The texture of the sand and sea dissolved in me

I walk to veer to the left of the line
I keep a slack hold on my mind
Nobody tells me what I think
I don't tell myself not to sink
Deeper and deeper into the gutter
I make out words I tend to stutter
My father tells me I write satire
I try to keep my mind towards  martyrs
I am so very fond of suffering
I don't mind pain it feels like an offering
An empty hand that is well received
My intention falls to the right of the aggrieved

I'm the prettiest girl in the room
I have the longest hair
I don't have much problems
Only my father makes me feel unsafe
My mother left when I was seven
My sister died of suicide,
I was ten
I'm the prettiest girl in the room
I have the best skin
It's unblemished, without pores
It's available for you to touch, sure
I have the biggest smile for anyone who looks
No, I don't seem problematic
The distress is on my jeans
Tell me I'm the prettiest girl you have ever seen
So pretty, having problems is obscene
I can't feel emotion
I can't feel pain
All I feel is pleasure from making you look plain

it's good for me, love
it makes me beautiful
It's good for me
It gives me a look of glowing health
I look at you with love
Because I want to receive what I give
Even if you don't give it back
I have already taken by projecting
I have projected unto you
The person you wish to love
I am perfected in your eyes
I am molded using perception
It's true, it may sound selfish
But love is not for us
It's supposed to be good for me
Before it can be good for anyone

The calendar that changes paintings every month
The friendships that pass on to the next life
The house that once stood for home
The filled notebooks, once empty
The prayer that passes through the crack of sadness
Proof that life is not emptiness
Phrases and proverbs that unwrap their meaning
As life happens before my very eyes
My mind is born like a child
Suddenly time is quick
She is opening her eyes
Oh, beautiful infant
So kind so wild
I pray that you will be kind to life
I know you will be treated fairly
Your reality is truly one of your own making
And if you ever find that you have been dealt cards that cut
Do not throw the deck away
Life is but a limited stack
Play with charm
And never cheat
For death is the lover of life
And will gladly take away what you have at stake
Fear nothing of what I say
Truth and pain wake up the senses
Losing one's way is never easy
Just pinch yourself
Bad dreams go away
Eventually

When we saw
That singlehood
Of being a couple

I am my own
I am my own person
My own book
I am my own
Judge
Jury
Prosecutor
Litigator
Defendant
I am my own
I am my own task force
Totally unabashed love of the arts
I am my own critic
My own worst nightmare
I am my own dream
And all the things I feel for you are my own
Not from you
I create
You are merely a spectator to this feat.
You are not worthy of this love you receive
And it may make you the luckiest person
And myself the proudest
There is nothing you give me
That I cannot provide myself
I am mine alone
And now you must wonder
What are you alive for?
You are alive
For the mere fact
That I would be without purpose
Without meaning
Without ambition
Do you understand now?
My self-respect
Is because I love
And who is there to love
Without you.

I'm a wreck
My life is a bad outfit worn in high school
The reunion should have a better theme
My insurance didn't cover the damages
When you left my heart in pieces
So I try my best to work as hard as I can
Niceness gets me nowhere but at least I'm rarely aggressive
I'm probably the nicest person
Nobody should notice the wreckage they drive by is actually my life
I'm for repair
Which is why I hide all these dents/scratches with that wax crayon they sell on TV
I call it shabby chic when someone points it out
I'm a wreck

You're allowed to get mad
You don't need permission to shout at someone when they ask you for unreasonable things
Like to keep your temper in check when they don't respect that you're old enough to not take their **** storm of ******* manipulation
You can get mad, go on
You have every rational logical explanation but it's stuck in your head
So why don't you just hit back? It isn't like they didn't hit you first
You have every reason to get mad
The guy just comes back without a word and doesn't know how you'll react so he then makes a statement of power by being an *******
His fear is your reason to get mad
Get mad at his fear with a sharp tongue and a voice of fire
He can't step on you

Precious rose
Be always sinful to my touch
I consistently break
The rules are meant to be
Unhelpful habits
I know I can become different
Better than before
This is open brain surgery
This is optimism
That nothing will go wrong
If I live and take chances
Become one with myself
Instead of separate
Although living is hard
It's better than being Calcifer dying

Pray for peace
For control is not within the hands of one
But the hands of many
Compete with yourself
Do not be ashamed of your sins
Have sympathy for those who are dying
For those who have had their youth kidnapped from them
Always pray
Praying is not just for the religious
It's for those who need to ask themselves to be strong
So they can go on
There is something sad about today
Maybe it's the fact that
My country is one ***** loose from falling apart
And all we can resort to is discussing politics
Uninspiring topics that are meaningless
We should be discussing about what inspires us
About how great old songs are on our trips home from work
But new songs are like cold showers to wake us up

What makes me feel alive
Is forgetting I need to impress anybody
To forget that I am surrounded by con-artists
To be a joy to others
Because I am a joy to myself
I don't always succeed
Sometimes we can be insufferable
I know I can be an unapologetic *****
But I can be sorry for those times

Since I was young
I was always passionate
Where has my fire gone?
Is it out?
So I pray for peace
I pray for myself
I pray for self-control
For control over my weaknesses
And to have freedom to use my strengths
Without fear of judgement
I am not inconsequential because I choose to live a life that is enough
I am just content to be happy with enough

That someone so beautiful

Could know sadness

Makes me feel as though

Everyone is average

And everyone is equal

That we're never going to escape madness

And that madness can become someone's friend

Is evidence that the left side of my mind is alive and well

That's where the devil resides

I slipped on orange juice in a grocery mart in Australia
A kindly lady picked me up
I was told I announced my existence in a grocery
My mother's water broke while she was shopping in the local town's
My elder sister of 7 years picked up the phone at customer service to call my dad

It's hard to get the hang of life
Because it is pain
So mostly I like to be terrified
Or terrify
It's all the same to me
Praying that I have a friend
Someone who will always be there
Praying that I will not be alone
So I have something to show in reunions
Hopefully I can digest these feelings
That don't really seem to be there
How am I going to find myself
When what I fear
I already am
There is freedom in acceptance
There is no wrong to right
I am a flower
Aching to bloom
There are just flowers
That don't bloom so soon

In a place I know
They know me too
But they don't know you
It's easy if you're a stranger
But then who said that things with wings were supposed to stay on the ground
If you had flown down to me then it would be the way you look at me that would make me stay
It's easier
Then again
Who said it's supposed to be
There is a time when you haven't really seen me
Outside where the stars are barely seen
There, you start to know that maybe you haven't really done anything to get to know me
You're mostly full of spices
And I'm mostly full of vices
In the end the mixture makes for something that's acquired
The tongue can't get used to eating something so desired
It's the way you look at me that's makes me stay
It's the way you look tonight that makes me stare
Then in the end
We don't know the notes that linger
It maybe because this kind of feeling
Doesn't lift a finger

Who cares if we are lost?
The translation is a sign
The train of thought was thin
Who cares what words are said?
We packed light
Enter forests cradled in the mountain range
Keep your childish laughter
Leave your drunken meal
Drank river into waterfall
I have nowhere, no war
How to exit?
*****
How to enter?
Clean
Land has lost
Sign out the hive
Retired
Bees are so alive
Wire traps the treason
Factory line sublime
I am a social creature
Frequenting the mall
Travel is my heaven
The lights up in the sky
Driven by a dream
Something I can find
Elsewhere and else who

Used to be a study in contrast
Wept a little
Laughed a lot
Sundays we go to Church
Back when I was young
I loved so much
Money meant dirt to me
And dirt meant the World
In my grasp
It felt so simple
My eyes could see
Without prejudice

Now I am older
Much has passed
Pain and life
Go hand in hand patiently
I went away
My body remained
Mind astray
Is there a way to win?
Is there a way to make it?
We're all stuck to this ground
That we end up in
I urge you
Not to let your kite fly too high
Or God with cut you down
I urge you
Not to dream too big
Lest you persevere through the chisel of painful perfecting
It's all I've learned
It's hardship
I take these steps
Inside this safe room
Four walls
Made of doors
This is my life
I lie much
Or the truth becomes inflated
It floats higher and higher
Until nothing is left
Everything given to a life of imagination

I don't have to be afraid to be brave
Everything can be copacetic
If I'm willing to save every bloom in my brain

There are moments and days
Where I can't begin to say
How thankful I am
That I'm more than okay
How can I thank those who've seen me through the haze?
The days when I was not myself were when they were most present
Let me name them friends
Even though some have ceased to consider me one
I'm sorry for all the things that I've done

I know I mustn't run
When the days get too heavy
You taught me how to fend for myself
You teach me how to ask for help
You all taught me how to be myself again

A refugee from the storm
I understand now the meaning of friendship
Even though this type of thing is thinner than blood
My blood owes itself to those who have kept it
Warm and unharmed

Broken glasses on our dinner tables
Time is different with a stranger
A meal over an hour longer
Checking in the realms of possibilities
Hopping towards the future with a hackysack
Even children savour the race
Looking at your worn out face
Reaching for a trace
Time trickles forward, taking space
Until I can no longer feel the distance from you

My heart got entangled
In memories of you
She returns to you always
You are her home

Wait
You don't have to make up your mind right away
I never stressed you out
So wait
The building is blocking the sky
It's driving me to climb the highest heights
I don't have to give you an answer
There's no rush at all to answer
I'm digging a pit
It's a slow process
I said wait
Don't speed up your grave
Keep yourself from anything final
Avoid any brashness, youth is a trial
Some think it denial
It's only the finals
Life goes on
Until death becomes a wall
I climb it with a grappling hook
Dying is not easy, like living
It's not final, like living
You need to get to heaven based on a struggle
It's not purgatory
It's called breathing in a vacuum
Pray for your vices to become devices
Pray for your chances to become a royal flush
Pray for your family, hope they meet you, on the other side is a life of virtue
Hope you know that I am gone
Don't be afraid of being alone
Don't you know when I'm gone
I'll be returning everything I borrowed?
In merits and favors
I have a list made up for dreams
These things are made for beams of light to pass through us
To cast a light and shower blessings upon those we love
These are words used in hoping you're born alright
I'm praying for you to arrive alright
From your previous life