To the one I adore,
I say
More, more, more!

I hate that this year hurt you.
It really was a *****.
It makes the vein on my forehead throb
and my eye does that freakin’ twitch.
You didn’t deserve heartache.
You didn’t need the pain.
But I can see a rainbow after misery’s grey rain.
Red is love, a balm to soothe and lift the head that’s hung.
Orange is the zest for life that grows from when we’re young.
Yellow is the brightest sunflower, capturing your smile.
Green are dilatory fronds that whisper, “ stop a while”.
Blue, the tides that ebb and flow – reminding us of time.
Indigo and violet- vivid sparks. The rush. The climb.
My wish for you in the coming year and all the years to pass?
That colours shine through your darkest hours.
( and this past year can kiss my ****)

A grand place to be
Come stand beside me
I’m smack in the middle
of something,  you see.
Join me ami
You’ll love it, you’ll see!
I’m right between temperance and debauchery.

Get sunburnt
Splash
Play rough
Scream
Bomb others
Leave your towel in a wet heap
Play dangerous games
Dunk weak swimmers
Run around poolside
*** as much as you like

I say thanks though it's not enough
To the war torn, the weary, the fearful, the tough.
To those who returned and to those who have died.
To those shunned at home and to those met with pride.
Our lives of freedom, joy and vice,
gifted at immeasurable price.
Lest we Forget

Standing on my driveway
Gazing left and right
Thinking of the diggers
Who left their homes to fight

Thankful I can stand here
Proud as I can be
Of men and women’s sacrifice
Made for you and me
To be free
To stand on our driveway.

Give me a sign
So you can be mine
And then we can see
What it’s like to be “we”.

I heard some sad news
About a young teen
His Mum turned off his life support machine.
When I gave my condolences and she poured out her grief
You would think that this woman would feel some relief
But she turned to me bleakly and said
“ All my days, I will never forgive myself, lost to disgrace”.
I asked her why she felt compelled to such blame? Self recrimination, regret and shame?
She stated in earnest and her tone echoes still
“ The one machine I didn’t turn off has killed.”
I pledged from that day if I saw any signs
that my loved ones were victims of hurt by design
I’d tell them to switch off
Pull out the plug
Switch off the bully
Cut off the ****.
Your life is precious
don’t let haters thrive
Switch off for now and stay alive.

What a waste
Making a safe space.
You were never going to be
a man of vulnerability.
No haven on this sphere
could guard you from the
whispers that you hear.
Your inner voice, the one you should ignore? You gave the floor.
What a waste.

Where do you find it?
Bone deep happy.
At twilight, amongst the soft pink swaying grass, gazing at the Milky Way?
Curled up with a knowing smile on a plush, sunny window seat with a dog-eared tome?
In the lingering, whimsical gaze of a parent observing their child’s first clumsy steps?
Alone at the stark summit of a conquered mountain, breath misted with panting triumph?
Under the deep? Tickled by flitting fish as they tentatively touch the eddying bubbles surrounding your frame?
The first golden drop that touches your tongue as you swipe it across your syrup laden dish?
A wish.
Made with the puff of a dandelion.
For bone deep happy.

You’ve traded insults with him from the time he could return them.
If he offered you which hairy arm to pick, you’d Chinese burn them.
His annoying level neediness would see you waste YOUR time
Just to see him stand, silver in hand,  on the Space Invaders line.
But HE was always there to help you put the chain back on
When the rest of the BMX Bandits had thrown up dust and gone!
And he was there to corroborate when your day in court arrived.
You were braver because you had him there and TOGETHER you’d survived.
Then the day when words escaped your lips and you just needed someone to save you?
No questions asked; jumped on a train; no hesitation gave you.
Coz pesky brothers grow into men,  somewhere along the way.
Rough them up but love them well for you’ll need them there some day.

Walk into the light
Young men who will fall
Turn your back on darkness
Don't answer the call.
People love your neighbour
Don't give in to hate
Driving men toward the ones who will indoctrinate.
Stand in solidarity.
Condemn wanton strife.
Supporting humanity. Investing in life.

Hey!
Can we love like we’ve never been hurt?
Can we eat dessert before the main and stay sane?
Can we frolick in the rain and blurt out passions like we’re setting them free and yet they still remain?
Can we dance like Dervishes on hot tar? We run to the car with our sodden apparel and turn to each other with a look, wild and feral.
Wet lips collide and slip to the side as we laugh with our heads thrown back, our jaws slack from smiling so hard! Can we go that far?
Can we breathlessly cling, one to the other, hearts beating like drums in our chests?
Can a memory not yet made be the one I love best?

There once was a Cardinal Pell,
whose innocence didn't quite gel.
He made Atheists hope
(and concur with the Pope)
that hopefully there is a hell.

Close your eyes and dream a dream where wishes all come true!
Faeries land on giant sunflowers singing as they do.
Ponies gallop over fields of swaying strawberry grass.
Butterflies reside inside tall atriums of glass.
Air so sweet, the water clean, it sparkles in the sun.
Gold dust falls from shimmering trees to shower everyone!
Children sit upon the hill, making daisy chains.
They seek shelter under giant mushrooms when it rains.
Baby bunnies hop around in luscious berry patches.
Mother birds trill songs of joy as each sweet baby hatches!
The sun, which smiled all day long, sets beneath the rolling hills.
Fair maidens set fresh loaves to cool upon their window sills.
The children walk back to their homes to rest after their play.
For now it’s time to sleep and dream about another day.

Can someone please tell me
On which plane we now reside?
Valuing the cheap laughs that the
Freakish Trump provides?
Existential crisis doesn't seem
Far off to me, when war and strife
Escapes our eye, in our frivolity.

I was moving at a cracking pace
I was wearing lycra too
I had monitors on arm and wrist
( telling me what to do)
You lurked around the corner
With your tantalising smell
Oh Waffle House, why did you send my health kick straight to hell?

I want you so badly!
My body aches with the need.
My mind is suspended with greed, hunger to be consumed by you.
Eager to be in your embrace,
to surrender to you.
To be taken by you.
(But I am not free.)
I am shackled to another-
my captor, Insomnia.
Liberate me Sleep!

Why must we unpack MYSTERY?
Wrap it in Theology?
Box it up with piety and on our knees call “Deity!”
Can AWE be trademarked, WONDER sold?
Does the unknown have to fit a mold?
Embrace the pure uncertainty and cherish possibility.

Some love is rhinestones.
Some love, veneer.
Some love is false, simply words that you hear.
But love beyond life is surely the kind,
that hopeful hearts search for and souls want to find.

Autumnal leaves fall
dilatory surrender
forming amber mounds

Standing on the fringe of a feeling
Reeling from the heady sense of vertigo
Only one place to go
And I’m falling fast.

As the new day dawns
A feather floats slowly on
Cloud reflected seas.

(Incongruous as it may be
To those I reach with words o'er seas)
I'm yawning, though your day is dawning.
To awaiting slumber,  cedes my weary shell.
But Insomnia awaits, and she, the unforgiving mistress of my mind, beckons me AWAKE!
So I write another line.
No, no, no.
Heavy lidded eyes remind me of the wiser course.
The shroud of fatigue covers me with a gentle ripple and I am lulled once more. From this distant shore I bid you,
Goodnight.

Good morning
Sounds so trite
And yet the night
Laid me to rest and yours was the memory of the day I loved best
Guiding me through a peaceful night
And in mornings’ light
I felt  oh, so good
So good morning.

Everything dies I heard her say
As she was finding her way after
Losing the one who made her want to stay
But wait! Hold onto life, there will come a day when the journey leads you to a new path.
Everything is dark, I heard her say
As she was grappling with the pain, straining against the breath in her chest, restlessly searching for an end to this mess.
Hold on. Wasn’t there darkness when he came along? There was a time when ending it all seemed to be the answer and the question, why even exist?
Look at what you would have missed.

Happy New Year?
Well for now, I can’t say.
I have my own hopes
but there could be delay.
I’ve ordered World Peace
there could be a speed bump.
I’ve also requested the demise of Trump.
And the continued success of all bee colonies
and protection from racists and their bigotries.
And more empathy amongst all of mankind
And for those who are seeking? I hope they shall find!
At the end of the year I shall rinse and repeat and hope to find some on my wishlist complete.

Have I messed things up
by talking about feeling?
Should I comment on weather or stare at the ceiling?
Should I only talk cars or financial aspirations?
Avoiding those corny heartfelt declarations?
Does it make you feel awkward to discuss future plans?
If this is the case, I must sadly embrace that the truth of the matter is, you’re not my man.

Memories hold dear,
which were born of deep devotion.
The notion of time fading the ache?
A feint, a fake played by fools who dodge emotion.
Hold steadfast to the joyous spark, igniting recollection.
A rush of joy to fill the void, you’re buoyed from ever knowing this man’s faithful, true affection.

Caught in the crevice between honesty and kindness.
Thought I might deliver you from your social blindness.
How can I be the one to heal you and yet harm you? Hurt you and then calm you?
Shall I step forward, the sacrificial lamb?
Will you reject me for being who I am?
An honest creature, a bit of a preacher, hoping to teach you, reach you, beseech you… To look inside yourself.
Caught in the crevice between a rock and a hard place.
Do I speak out or silently save face?

Sitting by his bedside
Consulting with the Fates
Will this be his time to go?
To rattle Pearly Gates?

He seems to be so fragile
And yet the spirit’s there!
Disguised by sagging jowls
And age spots,  hiding in grey hair.

The afterlife has been discussed
He’s scoffed at it and said
What do I care? Burned or buried?
I’ll be dead!

I watch him in his frailty
Yet strong-willed as can be
He clings to life with stubbornness,  
Blessed mortality!

Neither of us ready
To speak of things to come
We focus on the monitors,
The air vents’ harmless hum.

The ordering of breakfast
And peeing in a cup,
The trolley and it’s offerings
Upon which we both sup.

The future is unknown now
So we resign to be
Contented in the moment and
Embrace the mystery.

The choice is not for us to make
whatever we believe
So quiet words of love are whispered
With our hearts on sleeve.

Waiting now is our new game,
Though we, the pawns and Kings
Pronounce that it ain’t over
‘Til that fat lady sings!

Hush
And in silence.......PEACE.

It’s okay to be afraid
To grieve the plans that you had made.
It’s just fine to get frustrated, cooped up, fed-up, irritated.
It’s quite valid to feel sad
When all around you seems so mad.
It’s alright to share your fears, your doubts, your disappointments, tears.
I know a virtual hug does nought
To comfort you when overwrought.
The platitudes seem never-ending;
Don’t begin to start the mending.
Only time will see us heal
And our futures will reveal
How we began to value life; when this pandemic brought us strife.

I used to be a lighthouse, standing sturdily
Shining my light that others might see
Guardian of your safe passage through life’s treacheries
Until the day my light began to fail me.
I struggled on illuminating hoping to shine through
But ominous clouds amassed and grew
Leaving me with the dimmest view
How can I get through to you?
There you stand in the midst of the storm
Innocent substance this tempest has torn
I try to reach you, to cry out, to warn
I am broken, despairing, forlorn.
Time now to take down my beacon, you see
Not part of my nature, but setting me free
The new role that I’ve chosen for me?
To shine within and hope others will see.

Bad Jokes.
Sad jokes.
Really silly Dad jokes.
Jokes that simply aren't PC
Jokes that coax a bit 'o wee.
Jokes that flop but then recover
Jokes told by your little brother.
Jokes your Grandpa thinks are funny
Jokes told up on stage ( for money)
Witticisms left and right
Jokes for morning
Jokes for night
Some jokes make you slap your thigh!
Jokes can really make you cry.
Jokes you wish you hadn't heard
Some that really are absurd.
Jokes you laugh at ( but you shouldn't)
Jokes someone told ( but you wouldn't)
But the point ( all said and done)
Is jokes are meant to be some FUN!

The word "love" there is no doubt
gets bandied all about
You use it as an epithet
and yet this moniker bestowed
Does nothing to whet
My craving, desire
to explode with the revelatory
notion (and I bemoan) that your devotion
is
to the word alone.

Life is for the living
Do enough forgiving
To try to liberate you from your woes.
Life is no rehearsal
You get no reversal
So focus on your friends and not your foes!
Life can bring you sorrow
Tune in on the 'morrow
Every storm gives way to a breaking sun.
Hold on to the good stuff
Even when things get rough
Then life is bound to be a better one!

This gift called life sometimes seems like the unwanted kind
and you find yourself trying to be clever, tape it back together.
You don’t know whether to complain
so you refrain from saying  “Hey, this is not what I put on my list”
and so you miss your opportunity to speak your truth, to speak your pain.
But see, it’s never too late to call it out!
Your story is about your chronology, there is no expiry for being real about how you feel- your authenticity.
So take the gift again and know that it doesn’t always have to be about endless happiness and joie de vie.
The gift is the journey, not all paths are paved. Not all angels triumph nor all sinners saved.
Hold fast to hope, knowing that it has no end and your true gift just might be revealed around the bend.

The lighthouse stands firm
Guiding me to safe waters
Anchoring my heart.

To everything there is a season
Am I ready to let go?
Romantic v. Voice of Reason
What I feel and what I know.

Muddled by my cogitations
Such a lack of clarity
Yearning for the old sensations
Held back by uncertainty.

I can’t reach a destination
Magnetised, my compass tilts
Time for a new incarnation?
Banish hangups, hurts and guilts

Feelings reconciliation
Pay a penny, spin the dial
Out spits the determination
Leave your heart to mend a while.

Love!
I’m in it!
Love!
I’ve win it, no! WON it!
Oh **** it! I’m in it!

Love me like you’re young again
Kiss me in the rain
Let your heart beat out a rhythm like it never suffered pain
Lead me to your secrets
I can hold them dear
When your fear tells you to run
Draw yourself more near
What does your heart tell you?
Does it call my name?
Whisper words I long to hear-
That you feel the same.
Give me all your passion,
take away all doubt
Love is not a whisper it’s a most resounding shout!
If the fire mellows stoke it reverently, give me everything you’ve got or honey set me free.