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2.0k · Apr 2016
Voicemail 365
Hey, it's me again
I know you said you'd call back later
But I'm calling to let you know that I had a better day
I didn't cry
I didn't hide
I didn't stray away
I miss you so much it hurts
Please come home soon
I did the laundry and the dishes
I even finally dusted our room
Our bed feels empty without you
I keep a few pillows on your side
The nights feel colder and longer
But I can't wait to be your bride
I know you will be back soon
You called and said so
I replay your voicemail twelve times a day
But I still wish you didn't have to go
Your trip is taking too long
I like it better when I wake up in your arms
Time goes so slow when you're gone
Plus now I have to remember to set my own alarms
We are getting married next month
I cannot wait to start our lives
So hurry home so we can taste cakes
And teach each other how to dance right
Goodnight my handsome fiancé
I guess you're still pretty busy
But it's been a year and I think it is about time
For you to call me back or let me know that your plane landed fine
I had nightmare last night that I got your voicemail again
Cigarette after cigarette
You smoke until you choke
Grinding **** and sparking bowls
Does it not get old?
I fell in love with a chimney
As wonderful as he may be
But I question how much more
I can take of this
Before brushing off the smoke
To leave
For Garrett Hedley
1.6k · Mar 2015
Drunk
I want to get drunk one last time
Just to know what I would say
Intoxicated words come out so much easier
Than trying it the sober way
I want to tell him I love him
I want to tell the truth
I want to feel like everything is acceptable
I want to talk to you
I want an excuse to come clean
About everything I have felt
From love to hate
to anger to lust
to that time I wanted to **** myself
I want to share things I am too scared to share
I want to hold him tight
I want to thank you for breaking my heart
I want to share incredibly sad things in the dead of the night
I want to be brave
I want to talk a lot
I want someone to listen
And not just laugh it off
I want to get drunk
So I can be who I truly am
But alcohol is bad
And I am clean
So I will filter these thoughts for now
1.4k · Jan 2015
Talk Is Cheap
Do not sweet talk to me
about the future
about our future
unless you can actually
see it
see me
and not question
if we are truly meant to be
and you are aware
that you would dread for there
to be a morning
you awake
to an empty bed
a twist of fate
to someone who is not me
and could never be
for I am the one
you know
you want
and
need
For Garrett Hedley
1.2k · Jan 2015
Small Bump
If ever I see
A pink little plus
On a stick covered in ***
I may cause a fuss
You were not in my plans
But you will not be called a mistake
You will begin to grow
And your life, I will not take
You were made out of love
Although, not our intention
I will raise you how you were made
And I will not forget to mention
How beautiful you are
As you wrap your fingers around my thumb
And I will show you the stars
And I will teach you of love
I cannot end a life
Because of selfishness for my own
You may be tiny
But you will soon grow
I will love you all my days
Even if I have to do it alone

-Successfully Broken
For my future child (I am not pregnant. Hopefully not anytime soon.)
1.0k · Jan 2015
Thank You
I never would have thought
In a million years
I would find myself thanking
The boy who caused my tears
For the heartbreaks and the lies
Broken promises
Second chances and tries
For causing my heart to shatter
After repeatedly picking up the pieces
All on my own
Making me question if love was for me
Denying any boy
Who showed the slightest interest
Because I did not think I deserved it
I just wanted to be alone
For lying to me constantly
And making me believe
That if anyone was truly honest
It must be a dream
You changed my course of happiness
And made me want to sin
Drink away the pain
And never let you back in
I wanted to forget your name
And your forest green eyes
I wanted to kiss a boy
Who would not tell me lies
Once I sobered up
I came to believe
You were never good enough
To love someone like me
So thank you for my tears
And your expensive lies
Thank you for pushing me on a path
To meet the boy with green eyes
To tinder a relationship
Into the brightest of flames
To love someone worth trusting
That makes me want to dance in the rain
Thank you for the pain
You have caused me
Without experiencing you
I wouldn't be in love with Garrett Hedley
For Mando
930 · Apr 2015
My Boyfriends Keeper
Tell me why I have this pain in my chest
When you socialize with someone who once shared the same bed
Girls who my boyfriend have slept with make me uncomfortable. Is it normal to not like when he talks to them?
796 · Jan 2015
Little Hell
With eyes of evergreen
And freckles of galaxies
You ******* undone
With heart of purity
You take my insecurities
And make me want to love
It was you who captured me
And gave me sympathy
You saved me from myself
You say you will never leave
And I promise the same of me
You rid me of my little hell

-Successfully Broken
For Garrett Hedley
747 · Mar 2015
59 Days
Today the number is 59
I can talk about the chills he gives me
down my spine
or how the beauty of his eyes
should be a crime
I can talk about how he makes all the stars
in the night sky shine
or about how he takes my breath away
Every **** Time
But tonight let's talk about
why I chose this rhyme
I am moving in with this boy in days
counting down from 59
I am aware this poem is simple but can we talk about how happy I am?
736 · Jan 2015
Found
It is hard to think
Of losing you as tragic
As heartbreak
If I had not lost you
I would not have gained him
If I had not lost you
I would not have found myself

-Successfully Broken
For Mando
694 · Jan 2015
Him
Him
He starts a fire in me
And watches me burst into flames
Kisses me with passion
And shows me love does not have to be a game
He plants flowers in me
And watches as I bloom
Holds me in his arms
And promises me our love is not doomed
He undresses me with words
And makes me want to write
Treats me like I am worth loving
And makes me want to be alive
He is the rising sun
He is the starlit sky
He is a better person than I can ever be
He is the reason I still try

-Succesfully Broken
For Garrett Hedley
623 · Apr 2016
Something
I once thought that I do not need this life
I could die today
I could die tomorrow
And everyone will be alright

I once thought that I could run away
I could run to Boston
I could run to Rome
Because no one cared whether or not I stayed

I once thought that he could not break my heart
He could sleep with her
He could leave today
And not tear my world apart

I once thought that I could not feel pain
I could slit my wrist
I could try to fly
And no blood would escape my veins

I once thought that I was nothing
But I met him
And he makes me feel
Something
One person can make you, but one person could also break you. I hope you find someone who makes you.
572 · Jan 2015
Your Bed
Just the thought of her
In your bed
Drives me crazy
Tell me
Have you changed
the sheets lately?
I cannot sleep in it
Knowing she has left her mark
You lost it to her
I lost it to you
In the same bed
Same sheets
Why does this stupid fact
tear me
A P A R T?
God I ******* hate being an insecure damaged person. If he loves me. Why should someone from his past matter? Oh wait. Because she is still in his present.
544 · Jan 2015
Chimney
His breath reeks of the cigarettes
He'd rather kiss than me
When he leaves it is like a cloud of smoke
Brushing against my cheek
He has to get high
To not feel so low
But it is hard to look in his green eyes
As someone I do not know
Falling in love with a smoker
Is far from a beautiful thing
So do not tell me it is not a big deal
When I have to kiss a chimney

-Succesfully Broken
For Garrett Hedley
All my friends are breaking up

They held on too long to what they thought was love

Consumed in the loneliness and need for someone

So they held on too long to what they thought was love

Better days are ahead, do not return to them

Hold on, there will be a day when you know it’s love
It makes me so sad to see people I love, so hurt.
503 · Jan 2015
Time Traveler
Wake me up
When this year is over
Or better take me back
To when I was not growing older
Dreaming of the days
That have yet to come
What it will be like in high school
What it will be like to be in love
Because now all I want
Is to be clueless again
To the pain of getting old
And the depression gained
By wanting  to be thin
Let me travel back
To when I was unaware
Of the stress of paying bills
And having to know what I want as my career
I want to travel back in time
To where problems did not exist
And the biggest thing to worry about
Was whether or not
I had fed my fish
For Me
476 · Jan 2015
Untitled
I want you to glide your fingers
Through the strands of my hair
As I kiss your neck with passion
To avoid your lustful stare
I want you to caress my body
And cradle me in your arms
Intoxicate me with your presence
As you promise me no harm
Put your hands on my hips
Because you know that I will lose it
As you make your way down
I will beg you not to quit
Make your way between my thighs
Until you hear me moan
I am yours, as you are mine
Your body, I will forever roam
For Garrett Hedley
470 · May 2016
Unanswered Call
Are you out there?
Are you listening?
Can you hear me?
Cause I need to see
That's there's someone
Who will answer me
And that the world is in your hands
Oh God please help me
Don't just diminish things
I can't see clearly
Or how I used to see
You're fading faster
From my memory
Oh God please take me in your hands
I need to know that you're out there
I need to know that you still care
I need to know there's a home up there
And that it's not a hopeless dream
Can you hear me?
Are you listening?
Because he's in my head
And it hurts me
God I know you
Won't desert me
So I'm reaching out my hand
Dating an atheist when you believe in a higher power.
458 · Jan 2015
Day 130
And I am in love with you
For Garrett Hedley
451 · Jan 2015
Jealousy
Her name tastes of stale coffee
Or sour expired milk
You speak of her
With such regret
But use to see her as silk
Beautiful and extravagant
You used the words "in love"
You say she is now nothing
That I am your only love
But how can I ignore
Someone that once was me
That was touched by the boy
Who has my heart
The same way that he touches me?
That kissed his lips
And laid in his bed
That rode in his car
And lived in his head?
Tell me how I can forget the girl
That I have never met
Because she was loved by the boy
And touched by the boy
Who now sleeps in my bed

-Succesfully Broken
For Tara (I do not like the feeling of jealousy taking over me.)
429 · Apr 2015
Sorry
I cannot help but feel that every sentence that comes out of my mouth is followed by an apology
I should not have to apologize for having feelings but I always do.
411 · Jan 2015
Hurricane
Break my heart,
And I will show you why
They name storms
After people
For People With Bad Intentions
397 · Mar 2015
Storm
I lay here awake at 3 AM
Questioning
What it is my life has to offer
In a world of such beauty

I am a hurricane
About to destruct
Everything
And everyone I come across

— The End —