I'll be dancing in the street
with flowers in my hair and
without a care until the sun
stops shining and the earth
stops turning. I'll be writing
words forever until my hand
aches and my fingertips bleed
and I have nothing else to say.
I'll be sitting in my room
sipping tea while it's too hot,
with one ear bud in ignoring
the world for hours and hours
because I can, the world is
beautiful that way.
My scratches on paper with
my no. 2 pencil will continue
to mean nothing to society
and everything to me
furthermore but will never
disable me.
I'll be missing when they
look for me, fret none for
I get lost in words.

You kissed me with your eyes open
because you said you could only believe
what could be seen.
I kissed you with my eyes closed
because I told you that sight does
not come from the eyes but with
knowledge from the heart.

I could write a poem
to tell you,
but you still would be
to ******* closed minded
to differentiate my words
from my left *** cheek.

F is for the times when I say **** it
I is for the tears that I cry
N is the emptiness I feel inside
E is for the hope I have that it all is going to *end

Sitting here with my anxiety around my neck, I play my favorite song again again until I start to question the pronunciation of the.
I don't cry, no the tears are stopped short by my unwillingness to accept reality, yet reality is stopped short by me willingly living in a fantasy world.
The adults think I am overreacting, but they don't understand how crippling everything is when even waking up is struggle.
I need more time.. Time to stop the shaking. Time to find my fake smile.. Time to remember my four lettered lie..

Oh yeah, here it is, yes. I am fine.

This is it..
No more gasping for air no more reaching out the water.
No more.
I am alone.
All of my stars that dazzled for me night and day have dimmed and disappeared.
But I don't have any more hope.
All of your gazes terrify me
All of your comments are horrid.
And here, I stand frozen in place
Dripping in self apathy because
I am useless. So,
This is it.
No more gasping for air
No more reaching out the water
No more.. I am alone.
Anger swells up in my hands
It tingles on the tips of my fingers
And sends vibrations up my arm.
It's last destination... My heart.
My cold, black heart.
Not black from lack of caring.
No, I cared far too much
And you all didn't care for me enough.
Maybe that's how I ended up here.
So this is it.
No more gasping for air.
No more reaching out the water.
No more.
I am alone.

My apartment no longer holds the same meaning in my young heart as it once did.
I can no longer find peace in this foreign place, for an intruder has well, intruded.
My things are no longer mine they are ours as I now hate to put it.
I no longer feel safe! I stay awake at night praying to dear God, keep all evil away from me!!
Destroy these thoughts of ****** and suicide that have now taken over my mind!
He could force his self onto me just because he wants to!!
I am only a young adult, my life has not yet began.
He has a dagger, hands itching to slit my throat!
Please, I have much more words that yearn to be written, and if it just so happens that I can officially be deemed as a poet, well I must live to see that.

A five by eight enclosure is too quiet and dainty, perfect for thinking. Awful just awful.

Fiberglass is too cold to be cozy and air doesn't circulate better when standing up.

White water doesn't have a grip when it falls at a rapid speed and the drops continue to fall a victim to gravity without regard.

Sitting there, skin to the cold cold bottom feels so lonely, sending emptiness back and forth and up only to send itself back down to it's home. It's honestly dreadful..

There's nothing to distract from the burning.. No white noise to quiet the mental rumblings..

Eyes closed, breath stalled, fingers trembling, chilling thoughts at bay, finally engulfed.

I took a bath today.

I wanted you to never let me go
I wanted to have the privilege of waking up and your eyes being the first thing I saw. Remember when you would hold me after I'd been crying? I miss the fragrance of your sweater as my head fit perfectly on your shoulder. I miss the way your gentle hands rubbed against my arm, my side, my thigh.. You were always so much more open with your feelings than I was. Isn't that weird? I took those sweet little moments we had for granted, but if I had the chance to get them back, I would.

I feel bad for all the books in libraries and in stores that never get picked up. No matter how extraordinary the literature is in between those covers, there is always a better choice or book that gets chosen. I wonder how does the author feel when thousands of copies of one of their books are published, but not all are picked up off the shelf to be taken home to enjoy. It saddens me when I think of all the brilliance being wasted.

I want to be that feeling of urgency you need to let go before you go insane. The slither of hope intensifies as a ****** is almost reached.  Blood escapes my tongue as I fight not scream, for no one knows of us. Closer, closer I need you! Can you not see the arch in my limber back? The shivers my spine send when your lips meet the skin at my thighs? Continue to climb me, further into me, I need your release inside my body making us one.

Broken and battered from the battle field of a lonely soul, emerged a yellow bud.
Beaten to death, it cried out- please.
Please tell me I'm pretty.
Please tell me you love me.
Please be here when I need you..
Grow on your own, bud. Stand on your own.
Grab hold of what's yours and hold it tight.
Dance little bud.
Dance with passion.
Were you broken and battered?
Little yellow bud, budded ah'see.
Look, little yellow bud is gone. Oh,
But here comes a shiny golden flower.

I had to last a week with my personal satan.
Hell on earth, the only thing life was lacking
was the burning pit.

Months go by since I saw you last,
As the memories fade.
You gave me a kiss that I thought about for days, but now I no longer can see the image.
It's been months since you last made my heart race, gave me butterflies, or said something so sweet I questioned was it really you.
It's been months since I went to sleep with you on my mind, dreaming about every touch from you and every conversation.
It has been months, months without my love, my happiness, my world...
It was months ago when you left... yet it feels like it was just yesterday.

Music is peaceful, a combination of beats and melodies, yet I can not live without it. I am sorry that it consumes my life, for these bands are the only thing I have. I apologize for the lyrics and hums that escape my tongue every second of the day. Please forgive me, music is like alcohol and I am the alcoholic. I know how to recite hundreds of songs, but I can not remember how to keep our friendship. Do not be mad at me; Tyler and Joshua have helped me so much. Their music gave me this smile that lays on my lips, not you.

Clocks are nothing but ticks and tocks strutting through the day
As with the birds fluttering to and fro.
Sunsets, ah such a beautiful thing to witness. A
Rainbow running across the Earth never ending,
Or the colors thrown off the rain after a rain shower.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee in the coffee shop,
Perspiration trickling down your neck as the attractive man
Pours you a cup.
Children are golden, but never will it last. Therefore, never
Forget that pretty little boy who picked you a flower from the
Playground; one day in the fast approaching future he will not
Remember your appreciative smile. This planet, it moves around
And around and the sun, it goes down and down and it goes down..
Tomorrow is today and yesterday never happened.

I am not a daisy yet your words cut me down.
Neither am I a rusty bucket, yet my eyes pour out.
My throat is pained with the words that refuse to come through, can't you see?
I am broken, and here I cry out in need of help.
Help me, I lied, I am not okay. I am not fine.
Life is a daily struggle, a horrible one of mine.
I need someone, it used to be you, don't you remember?
Now I have no one. No one indeed.
My hands have not ceased their shaking, my heart, quickly palpitating.
What is this called? This place I am alone in? Hell? Purgatory?
My soul is damaged, please leave me be.

My love lives.
You had my heart in your hands only to rip it to pieces.
My love lives.
You moved on, still I have not.
My love lives.
I have never seen you smile as much as you do with her.
My love lives.
I do not want to move on because
My love lives.
It kills me to see you so happy, yet my love lives.
My love… For you.. It lives only to find my heart dead.

This being has always
been my refuge. My brittle
mind was never worth a penny.
But a token she had given me.
As of now, I would be lucky
to see a strand of her brown locks.
 
Maybe it is wrong of me
to expect so much out of
one little person. Who am
I to ask someone to care.
I'd never tell even a muted
ear of my broken soul. In
all of honesty, death does not
seem that horrible, not as
terrifying as they make it
seem.
   
I think I am strong
enough to end it all now.
For months my refuge veered me
off of this course, but she
has left me defenseless against
the monsters, my monsters.

Two birds flying in the sky,
fly, fly high.
To stars sparkling in the night,
sparkle, sparkle bright.
Two diamonds in the ground,
dazzle, dazzle for life.
Two colors, one red one blue,
show your pride!
All hail the mighty hue!
Two hearts, two beats, a different song.
Two minds, two  precious minds...
But just as the sun rises, it must set. Just as the day starts, it must have an end. Two young children, humble souls they were. A star in their mother's sky. Their memories will never leave us, and we shall never forget. Bud and Quan will never die.

I'm not a "girlie girl" I do not like dirt and grass kicked in my face
I am not allergic to cologne but please do not wash it down my throat,
it's poison. Why must they scream in my ears? Honestly, it's abuse.
The doors, only one opens; therefore, it's chaotic. No one has the slightest
clue of what manners are. The ******* heat. It could give one a stroke, still I continue.
I can live with everyone making me feel as if I am not intelligent but
I refuse to live with you. I have decided to cut your presence out from my life, metaphorically for you don't seem to ever leave.
I just want to get away from you!! You are toxic to my system and
I want to be healthy. Oh! But I hate to loose you all the same!
Isn't this a mess? Devine chaos at it's finest. But yes, she makes me feel like **** for being human. My thoughts and feelings won't seem to go away! I don't know how to stop injecting the drug into my veins. Make it stop.. Make him stop.

IT IS NOT OKAY TO MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BLONDE HAIR, GRAY EYES, AND FOREHEAD KISSES AND THEN NEVER TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN.

I know this is a poetry site, but Tyler Joseph needs to know in every way how much he means to me. Without him and his music, I probably wouldn't be alive, writing poetry anymore. So, thank you Tyler. You deserve the best birthday anyone could ever have. The song, Migraine, is one that speaks so dearly to my heart. No, you are not alone, Tyler! I am right here with you. And yes, Fridays are indeed better than Sundays. :) I need your music and your words! Who else is going to encourage me to keep living?? I love you so much Tyler. And Josh :).

Hey, old flame! There you burn once again,
Some wood in my fireplace and a cigar lit, burning red and sparking orange.
My blood runs with new excitement for maybe now there stands a chance.

The doctors checked my smile that rumbled with contentment for the months passed, joy didn't last, and my hands shook so bad, a pen couldn't be held.

You and I, wood and gold, sent shivers through my mind, a reoccurring fantasy I never dreamed to forget. You were always mine from the beginning, baby, your fire just had to be lit.

Hey, Ole Sport. Nice to see your face again.
Life and love! Isn't it wonderful!? Strange too
I suppose. But you're still here.. Why? The ones
Who loved me the most, Daisy.. the ones from my
Parties. They left.. But not you.
Did you not love me? Or is it something else?

Young love thrives on the lies literature tells, the boat rides and the promise of an ending that includes wedding bells.

My love died on the same twinkle of star that also lit my heart. We were doomed before our troublesome start.

So let me tell you the truth, you loved me and I loved you. But at the same time your tongue spit these words out into the bitter air, spiders and ghouls were placed there.

By the time you cut the sanity out of what was yours and mine; tore up the memories that kept me fine; and set fire to everything you could find, I was already at bay with thoughts of  mine.

I clipped at my hair because “it looks so pretty long." And I curse through the lyrics to your favorite song.

I bit off my nails because “your nails are so pretty when you paint them" but not bare according to you. Your new girl with the french tips prove true.

I smoked and I drank and I threw up whiskey, I passed out till I could no longer pass out anymore and I put on those jeans you once wore, and I chocked on a giggle because of that cute dent I remembered you knocked in my car door.

When it's all over and done and when I can start to drink for the fun will be the day I will no longer curse my past, for surely I knew our devilish love could not last.

Who is this girl wearing my clothes? Who was this girl lying in my bed just a second ago? Surely she isn't the same girl who enjoys sneaking out to study the stars on a warm summer night, so what was she doing here? Who is this girl, walking in my ratty Vans?
Her eyes drooped from late nights of over thinking, making her age about ten years.
Look at her, she stood as if her legs would give out at any moment.  
Our eyes met for a fraction of a second before she looked away from embarrassment. She shouldn't be embarrassed.. She just needed a good nights rest and a nice meal for sure..  As I reached out to touch the ghostly girl, to let her know that everything was okay, my hands slid down the slick, cold glass that made up my dresser's mirror.
A morning routine.

How did I give you all this power over me?
Clearly I did not mean to.
I am not my own person anymore, who am I?
My life slipped through my slender fingers, my only hope was for you to catch me.
I was let down not once but several times, your “power" twisting my bitter soul.
What must I do for you to see?
I picked up your habits, your drugs are killing me inside and out.
I never enjoyed the lighting of cancerous cigarettes until one hang from your mouth.
I lack power, the only quality you seem never to loose.
Maybe I am just weak
A weak, dying speckle of dust from your shoes, but drink me up and spit me out, only will I crawl back to you.
May I blame it on power?

Her little sleepy eyes drooped into their hallowed holes fighting the yawn her quivering lips began to make.

Her pale pink cheeks glowed in the lamp light on her mahogany desk, which she spent most of her time writing her life.

As she licked the taste of the last of her favorite ***** off her white lips, and glanced at the clock, her pen ceased their work and the end of a poems journey began.

Being dead doesn't seem so bad..
Silence.
Numbness.
Struggling to live a satisfying life; now that is what cuts me into a thousand little pieces.

When I was little, I had this toy guitar that I loved to play with, red and white.
Something a normal child would have. I went to school, made lots of friends,
Got invited to birthday parties, I even got a rose from one of my
Best friends at the time for Valentines Day. I had two friends whom I used
To call all the time. There wasn't a single day that went by that
I didn't call one of them. So normal.
I guess I understand why even those friends left me, although I didn’t
At the time. I was always destined to be this.

School for me is drawing nearer by the hour..
The ticks from the clock on my wall seem as
if they have been screaming at me with every
second that has passed. My anxiety has been
creeping back onto my body with thoughts
of tomorrow. I can't recall the last time a thought
wasn't filled with worries of possible things
that could happen, setting me up for a disastrous
year. I took this summer to make an attempt to
make myself mentally and emotionally healthier,
doing everything possible to make myself happy.
I needed to be happy with myself and my life.
School does nothing but provides stress,
damages my self esteem, and feeds my anxiety.
The only thing keeping
me going is the promise of graduating in three
short years.

I do not approve of you
Poisoning my body, yet
I leave your cigarette in
My mouth, the taste of
Red lipstick sliding around
My tongue.
Your scent is
Caught in my smoke now,
If only you would breathe
Us in.
Red was never your color,
Excuse my mouth dear, allow
Me to remove the horrid
Color from your lips.
A mistake, for now skin and
Flesh are forever intertwined
Between us.
Kiss me, kiss me until I
Forget that I'm dying
Inside, babe.
Silk and satin slide within our
Love.
Never going any further into
Regret, I behold your lovely
Eyes.
Our gazes can continue for hours
Without end, always caught in
Our own world.
Their fantasy is our reality.
Allow me one last kiss,
Allow me to gaze into your
Eyes and see my entire life.
Let me study the curves of
Your lips and the way they
Move with mine.
Permit me to lean in to you,
Slowly but surely to meet
Your kiss.
My tongue wants nothing more
Than to trace the inside of
Your cheeks, your tongue..
We have resulted in my hovering
Over your itty bitty frame,
But do not fret, love. I will not
Hurt you.
I only will love you

His smile is contagious
his laugh unforgettable,
his personality unbeatable.
The stars do not compare
to his beauty, the beating
of the waves on the beach
have nothing on the thrill
he gives my heart.
My lips smile like a
fools' at the sight of
him. It's not love,
but infatuation still, my
emotions refuse to
differentiate. When
I was a little girl, I'd say
he gave me butterflies
But now as I'm older,
I can say those butterflies
have turned into gigantic
butterflies that feed on
my sanity. I have
all but confessed my
unyielding love upon him.
I pray to God he can't
read  my mind for I
would dig a six foot
hole to bury myself.

I am not the pristine thing you have made me out to be.
I have sinned, do you disown me?
No,
I am full of lust. Still I remain untouched, that does not mean I want to be.
I have seen things you wouldn't want me to. The human body does not remain a mystery to me.
Yet I can write of love and the making of it as if I am not in fact a
******.

The feel of your fingertips on my hair sends sparks through my mind and soul.
Didn't I ever tell you never to do that in class?

Sitting in class with her is strange
it's odd,
it's different,
it's weird
it's difficult.
Tell me why, why am I disapointed when she's not there?
When she's gone, I miss her silky hair.
I have always liked her, yet this time it's different.
She has a personality you can not hate, yes, do not blame me.
Look at her!
******, pure ****** is she.
Golden by the sun
and as pure as a stream.
Surely she knows I am addicted.

I have found a new love, and there they
sit in the darkest hour of skies. They never stop
twinkling in their place in the atmosphere.
They are a promise after a long day
that I will know beauty again when I get home.
They make me smile for I have never known a
thing more pleasant than a star.
Maybe that is why I will never be satisfied with life.
There is no future I could ever want when
here, right now, there are my stars in the sky.

I'm a fool for brown eyes and sugar plump lips,
The way your nose makes its shape makes my stomach do flips.

I'm a sucker for your blackish hair and your silhouette in the window when you pass by. And if I said I didn't fall for you, I'd be a lie.

I fell for everything you stood for, honey. And here I am crouched with the shock of you in my throat fighting to close up.

I need my drug. I need you now to help me through this recession, to **** the fear of my constant loneliness, give me the strength to keep going because that's what you do best.

My mind has never been a peaceful place,
oceans and birds scream to be let go, freed,
from my thoughts.
Tidal waves and earthquakes
Gluttony and lust
Cigarettes and matches,
that is all that's left.

The last time my eyes laid upon the greens and browns of the dinner table, my hands gripped your rough knuckles underneath the table's wood.
As you partook in the role of swallowing your mashed potatoes, my eyes lingered on your throat, catching the way the tiny hairs moved up and down at the grooves of your neck.
And In the same moment your free hand wiped your mouth, erasing any evidence ravishing spaghetti sauce, making every surface of those pink lips visible, the thought of them on mine cursed through my head. Yet now I know what I am thankful for this thanksgiving.
Only now did you look up to meet my gaze traveling your neck; however, your eyes read the same as mine, cultivating desire. Desire and want screamed from the blue of your eyes. Only now did the decision to have thanksgiving by ourselves make sense. Was it five seconds ago? Ten minutes? An hour since there was a full meal sitting on the table that now held our intertwined bodies.
Was it five seconds? Ten minutes? An hour since I wore a skinny black dress that was now in pieces on the floor.
Was it five seconds? Ten minutes? An hour since I appraised the tie you wore with your suit that was now torn into five parts by my impatient little hands.
It indeed had been to long since your body was one with my own, forgetting the beat of the world but with a rhythm of our own.

Is it still considered crying if the tears never escape my eyes?
Can I still be sad even if I smiled three seconds ago?