Alas, the house is quiet.
A woman whom can not be particularly described as "dainty" but aged by a trying life has succumbed to sleep within her corner of the bricked home.
The home's walls made of plaster start their creaking, accompanied by a soft roar sounding from the a/c that can never stay fixed for more than a few months at a time.
Darkness overtakes each room one by one until the home is one big shadow of black in itself.
Shadows dance along four walls covered in an ugly neutral green that yearns to haunt memories as long as one shall live.
They grow and grow as the night lingers on, taking on various forms until they retire for the rest of the night.
The cold sends its piercing scent of metal to and fro, taking up as much oxygen as possible.
A faint blue makes its appearance through a 5 by 3 window in the north wall, expanding until it illuminates my cold room, snatching the evil shadows along with it.
Gazing upon his honey comb skin made my eyes glisten, yearning to discover the crevices in which peaked out from under his short sleeves. The bright and sunny days were the best. The weight of the world that seemed to weigh my shoulders down on any given day suddenly disappeared when the gleaming green eyed boy threw me a grin with his perfect milky teeth and peachy lips. Oh my...
When he pulled his full peachy lips apart to expose my favorite smile, my irritated bones started to know their purpose. They stood strong and gave me the support that I needed to be able to take in every detail of him so that my memories would ring clear and precise. The sky was bleak when my personal sunshine went away for the night taking its luminescent high with it leaving a piercing empty darkness in its stead.
I want to know what it feels like to wake up pretty.
To not have to line my lids with eyeliner just to face the day.
To be carefree and twirl through the streets with a smile on my face.
To wink at strangers whose eyes gaze upon my body and blush because all the boys stare.
To have a soft face and to have flowing hair.
To not have beauty marks on my face and to not have rough skin.
I want to know what it feels like to close my eyes and feel the sun caressing my skin making me glow like the moon.
To be content..
To feel like a flower dancing through the grass, to be special and not put last.
I want to know how it feels to love myself for everything that I am. To wake up and like what I see looking back at me when I'm brushing my teeth.
I want to know.
I want to feel tied to the earth, bound by people who admire me.
I want to be one of those girls who are unforgettable, who stop breaths and dazzle eyes.
I want to fall in love with me and wake up pretty.
Who is this girl wearing my clothes? Who was this girl lying in my bed just a second ago? Surely she isn't the same girl who enjoys sneaking out to study the stars on a warm summer night, so what was she doing here? Who is this girl, walking in my ratty Vans?
Her eyes drooped from late nights of over thinking, making her age about ten years.
Look at her, she stood as if her legs would give out at any moment.
Our eyes met for a fraction of a second before she looked away from embarrassment. She shouldn't be embarrassed.. She just needed a good nights rest and a nice meal for sure.. As I reached out to touch the ghostly girl, to let her know that everything was okay, my hands slid down the slick, cold glass that made up my dresser's mirror.
A morning routine.
as i sit in a place of mental darkness
I force my hands to raise a weapon.
A weapon raised with a trembling arm,
I try to be steady, to be accurate and aim.
My arms wreak of guilt ridden lines dripping with a burning sensation.
But my pain hasn't been taken away.
This weather brings out the worst in you, all the pain and misery came from hibernation.
The gold that lasted in yours eyes and that I've grown to love, disappeared right along with the sun's warmth.
Something died my love, something is dead indeed.