they told me that i was a girl
for i was wearing mascara and blush

they told me that i was a boy
for i was playing with trucks

they badgered me about my gender
they asked me where I fit in

i told them with wisdom that it was none of their business
my gender is not my identity
my gender is not who i am

they demanded to know what i am
i am a truck-loving, makeup-wearing human

she is pointlessly running in circles
desperately searching for definite answers
she cannot help running in circles
knowing full well that she has run out of chances

Where did you you learn what you know?

I learnt what I know from watching the flowers grow

I know what she wants
Its written on her face as clear as day
A moth drawn to a flame
I cannot look away
Her desire is an infectious tidal wave
Seeping into my veins
She knows what I want
There's nothing left to give away
We drop all pretences and get ready to play

I'll tell you how it feels to hold the girl
It feels holy.

Softer than a man
Easier to understand

I'll tell you how it feels to hold the girl
It feels holy.

Somewhere in between

Fantasy and reality

Somewhere in between

Debauchery and morality

Somewhere in between

Sacrafice and sanctity

Somewhere in between

Lies the romance about you and me

if you could be
any animal
what would you be?

she asked me
with a sombre face
of negativity

she said
she would be an eagle
so that she could fly away

or
she would be a butterfly
so that she could change

her answer
made me oh so sad
in a way i can't describe

i turned to her
giving her
my honest reply

if i could be
any animal
what would i be?

i would be a human
because then
i would be me

he was alone
in a place where alone was a sin

so he created some friends
inside his head

my god, it was bliss
though they didn't exist

for a fraction of time
he felt accepted

i'm a *****.
a ****,
powerful.
talented.
unapologetic,
*****.
now get down on your,
grazed knees
bow your,
unworthy head
worship,
this *****.

I do not hate men
I just hate the ones who lie
Who cheat
Who ****
Who abuse
Who disrespect
Who do not hear a word I've said
Ok, I do hate men

He looks me up and down
The way only men know how
He says,

"Tell me again
My **** Possession
Why do we still need Feminism?"

I look him in the face
The classy way that I was raised
I say,

"The mere fact that you asked me this
Is the reason Feminism exists"

He turns and walks away
In the direction that he came

I am reminded yet again
Of our desperate need for change

Keys between my knuckles
As I hurry to my car
This place still aint safe
At least not after dark

I've been female for thirty one years
My *** is abundantly clear
When I cannot walk outside at night
Without my friend called Fear

Keys between my knuckles
Pepper spray clutched in my hand
What can I say to these Testosterone Tyrants
To make them understand?

This place is still not equal
When half of us are afraid
I want to stay up late
Walk the streets and know I'm safe

Boys will be boys
They will rarely be men
The protectors became predators
It's a hard truth to accept

Keys between my knuckles
As I hurry to my car
This world is still not safe yet
At least not for us

I'm the girl that you ignored for all those years
I sat in the back row
Watching my resentment grow

You made fun of my depression tears
You were centre stage
While I was afraid

The girl grew up to be a woman
You never grew up at all

You finally learnt that we are both human
Reality turned out to be your downfall

I'm the girl that you ignored for all those years
I played the fool
While you were Little Miss Cool

Times have changed and now I am OK
You fell off your stage
Into a pitiful state

I get lost in the crowd
The invisibility covers my identity

My voice gets lost in the noise
They can't hear my words and God it hurts

I get lost in the crowd
Their negativity downs out my identity

My voice gets lost in the noise
So I shout so loud I drown them out

we damage our feet
squeezing into stilettos
we pluck our eyebrows
we polish our toes
we **** in our stomachs
afraid of what the scales will show
we scrub ourselves with a thousand lotions
spray ourselves with perfumes
it's as if we need to be sanitised
from the dirtiness that we learnt from the womb
from all the messages that we've consumed
messages insidiously obscuring the truth

it was a dog eat dog world
so i became a cat
i'm clever like that

broken was the perfect description of my heart
on the day that you died
it hurt so much
i forgot to cry

all attention was focused on you
in death
just as much as in life

nobody saw my face at the service
i bowed my head
i said a goodbye prayer

broken was the perfect description of my heart
on the day that you died
it hurt so much
i forgot to cry

Death came quickly
Taking a life that went by so slow
I was buried right near my late grandmother
In a cemetery where roses grow

I crossed over to The After World
There was much that I had left to understand
A woman wearing glasses with jet black hair
Showed me the nature of forgiveness and acceptance
She was my guide in this strange land

I had taken my life so abruptly
Now I stood in the awareness of this
In The After World I learnt the true meaning of life
I learnt that it was always a gift

When I had finally understood love
When I loved myself unconditionally
My guide opened a door to a garden
Where everyone was waiting for me

a poem is a collection of creative scribbles
i suppose that i
am a poem

i don't care about what you can do
i care about what you can do for me

where are you going to be in five years from now?

five years into the future
with a brand new poem
an older body
and a younger
soul

i was a poet
until some threatened ******* told me not to write
i stopped being a poet and became a brilliant poet

fiction was a place that she went for comfort
until the weight of all that is untrue
crushed her ability
to lie

she made a mistake
the mistake was big
dad left mum in the bathtub
now dad is in the bin

she made a mistake
the mistake was big
dad told me that it was a secret
dad is always listening

i made a mistake
the mistake was big
i forgot to give dad his medicine
now his home is the bin

Hurt was the black of a soulless night
Healing was the white of a peaceful dove

He stabbed her heart with a metaphorical knife
She covered the wound with her husband's love

You told me that your home was your garden
Surrounded by God's beautiful nature
I told you that my home is the ocean
Surrounded by water that stretches on forever
We both came from homes of destruction
We both came from homes of pain
The most wonderful home that we ever knew was the one that we both made

Betrayal comes in many colours
Betrayal comes in many forms
No betrayal quite matches yours

The knife you stabbed into my back
Twists and slices my flesh
A painfully bitter reminder that I won't trust you again

Darkness lingers here because the wounds are deeper
Healing is hard when you don't want to get better
Darkness lingers here because you are a special kind of sick
The reality of death being your dearest wish

When she was a child she would escape into her mind
When she wanted to cry she would fake a smile
When she became a woman
She planned her great escape
The slice of a blade caused the end of her charade

You tore one of my walls down
Hoping to destroy me
I have a million layers growing exponentially
Try your best but my perfect mess will always be around

You say that you can survive without me
So go.

You say that I make you so unhappy
So go.

You say that you're sick of my violent mood swings
So go.

You say that I am emotional and needy
So go.

It's funny how you're still not leaving
It's funny how you're still touching me
It's funny how you phrase your apology

As I go.

Once upon a time
Once thousand years ago
I had this precious gift called youthful innocence

Funny how a fickle foe disguised by the name of Time
Can rob me of my scruples
Can corrupt an innocent mind

Once upon a time
A thousand years ago
I was a decent person but I let that person go

i never did die
we never did part
i exist eternally inside your heart
💙

My heart is full so I cannot love you anymore
Your heart is frozen so you've never loved at all

Four walls of insanity
Keep me boxed in
I used to think I was safe
Now I only wish to escape
The box is my home
Inside it I am alone
Four walls of insanity
Keep me boxed in

the scars on my wrists paint a picture of pain
drawn in a time when i was clearly insane
i thought that my body was a canvas of self harm
my razor blade became the perfect tool for expression
red was my favourite colour back then
it was the colour of crimson red
the thought of it leaving my body by the litre gave me such a rush
until the day they found me bleeding to death and decided to lock me up
the scars on my wrist paint a picture of someone who did not feel good enough

he accepts me as i am
he is a real man

leave me alone with my consequences
leave me alone to clean up my mess

Turn the light off for I cannot bare to watch this scene
I never knew that romance could end up so **** ugly

I am tied to the train track
I cannot move
I hear the train approaching
I realise the train driver is you

my deceit was so destructive
tearing a hole in our friendship

i know that you don't trust me
that harsh truth simply kills me

if friendship is built on trust
what will happen to us?

in my mind is a haunting picture
that i'll be unable to fix this

it cuts through my soul like a knife
to think of you leaving my life

i'm aware that i deserve this
for the decency that i relinquished

my deceit was so destructive
burning a hole in our friendship

i am not ashamed of my failures
i use them to paint beauty from the ashes
each failure was a place of learning
each failure is a sign of growth
there is beauty in every single failure
they help me paint a picture from the ashes
they help me paint a picture of hope

Everywhere I go I see your face
I love you but sometimes I just wish you'd go away
You haunt me when I'm wide awake and when I am asleep
I'm trying to move on but you keep following me

Everywhere I go I feel your presence lingering
I thought that death would take you but I can still feel you breathing
I want you to move on so maybe I can too
How can I be happy if I'm haunted by the ghost of you?

Here I am
Standing outside in the freezing rain

You don't understand
You think it's fair to make me wait

There you are
Coming outside and inviting me in

It hurt so hard
When I realised your true intentions

I'm in your bed
The regret is so extremely putrid

I can't pretend
What made me feel beautiful now makes me feel worthless

Here I am
I'm on the train home after deleting your number

You'll never understand
How one sinful night ruined my whole summer

I'm that girl with the Australian accent
I'm the poet who writes in the corner
When the party is getting boring
You'll find me with my journal writing scribbles with my blue pen

I get easily distracted
I tend to feel fat most of the time
Sometimes I seem to lose my passion
Until I hear Ani DiFranco and my heart is set on fire

I fall in love so ******* easily
I'll see your ocean eyes and fall upon my knees
Suddenly I'll see your face on every street
Secretly hoping that one day you'll want to marry me

I'm that girl that got bullied all through school
I think that being different is a fun activity to do
I might get rejected on a regular basis
Rejects tell the most interesting stories

I'm that girl whose got bipolar and anxiety
I've been hospitalised for both of these things
I lost my faith in the mental health system
I know that no one has the decency to fix it

I'm that girl with the Australian accent
I'll always love even if I don't receive it
My best friend has always been Jesus
When I die I'll leave behind the words I write with this blue pen